Different =Wrong

In Korean the word  for 'different' and 'wrong' have a similarity that in speech fosters their incorrect use, says a professor of philosophy and ethics. In the diocesan bulletin he  writes about the differences and how it is an obstacle to communication. 

We use the word 'different' when we compare two or more subjects that  are not the same. An example would be the difference in the  appearance of this person and that person. On the other hand we use the word 'incorrect' when we want to express that something is wrong or contrary to what it should be. When these two words are not given their proper meaning we have the death of communication.

When I should say your opinion is different from mine and instead say you are wrong we have a fight.

Different = wrong was the thinking of the past when interchange with others was infrequent, travel  difficult and contact with other countries was rare. The Chinese idiom: 'Frog in the well' would be one way of describing the  person who  would not be able to grasp the difference between these two words.  People who have lived together for years in the same spot, the word different in accordance with their experience would be understood as incorrect. This would follow from being a racially homogeneous people. However, the professor reminds us that according to the study of genes, Korea is a composite of 60 percent  from the Northern  countries and 40 percent from the South. He regards the understanding of a homogeneous people as a myth.

Those who are similar to us are normal. The  different are abnormal and wrong: different=incorrect. This understanding has come to us from the past and we are influenced by it to this day. Blood, region, school ties all come to the fore when we have an election. Mixed blood, different races,  foreign workers, the handicapped, the weak, minorities-- realities we find difficult to accept into the nation-family. We are unyielding in this  exclusive, cliquish, and unhealthy behavior, a black and white logic which concludes the different, without discernment, to be wrong.

We want all to be the same, but we are different. There are seven billion people on the face of the earth: similar but different. Each one is an unique person.  That which is different in each one of us is what distinguishes us from the other. What makes us  different is not abnormal but normal but important as it is we do not want only to stress the difference because what is similar is greater. What makes us different  has to be in harmony and balance with what is the same. When this harmony and balance is broken or separated we all suffer. Same and different are the prerequisite for communication. In our relations rather than stressing the  different and wrong we should be more concerned with the different and the same.

There are positions that are objectively not correct and those that are correct, but when we communicate with others if we go directly to what is different and consider it wrong then the doors to  communication are closed. We are all searching for truth. Working with what is the same and what is different we keep the doors open and the possibility of agreeing in our search for truth. 

New World Order

In a contribution to the Chosun secular daily newspaper, one of the elder clerics, Monsignor Tjeng Eui-chai, who has a teaching  chair at Sogang University, reflects for his readers on the meaning of Pope Francis' visit  to Korea.

Pope Francis was a non-European and from a land that was for 500 years a colony of Europe. We have a movement in the 3rd millennium evolving to a common culture and  the monsignor sees the pope's visit to Korea in this light.

At the airport we have the pope in the 'Kia Soul', a small car followed by highly placed dignitaries in their big cars. This rare sight  is a forerunner  of what the future holds in store:  power to serve the citizens, wealth to serve the poor, and the  strong to serve the weak.  In the third millennium we will have the rule that has come down to us from God's creation.

What have the two  millenniums of the  past  shown us? In the first we moved from the Roman Empire that dictated to the whole world to a little town in Bethlehem where a baby was born, like us a human, but worshiped as God; the roads that led to Rome moved to Jerusalem.

In the second millennium we had the religious reformation, and the industrial revolution, and at the same time the dehumanization of humanity with totalitarianism and colonization. With the rise of communism, atheism appeared at its zenith. The two world wars brought us to edge of life and death, but at the beginning of this century we had the example of love in Mother Teresa of Calcutta,  and the apostle for the new millennium in Pope John Paul II.

One of the Christians saw the appearance of Pope Francis from the colonized continent on  the world's stage as Christ for our times. Pope Francis can be seen as the  beginnings of a common culture. He sees the North/South Korean situation as the noble cause of our time and whether we progress or regress will depend on the way we deal with it.

The monsignor sees the popularity of Francis coming from the way he listens to everybody and tries to understand their situation. He sees the problems of others as his own. The poor, the handicapped, the comfort women of the Japanese military, the families of the Sewol tragedy these were all a concern of his. He at the same time showed a great deal of wisdom. On the plane back to Rome he was asked a question about the comfort women and  gave a shrewd answer: "Today, the women were there and despite all they suffered they have dignity, they showed it in their faces."

For the monsignor the words the pope addressed to the young people were for him the most memorable: "Stay awake." They are being addressed, the monsignor wants to believe, especially to the young people who are going out to the developing countries of the world on a mission as members of the Korean Peace Corp. They have in less than 50 years come from a undeveloped country to a developed county and have a great deal to teach others in the underdeveloped countries of the world.

The monsignor has been a strong proponent of a Korean Peace Corp for many years and  our previous president  promised to send young people overseas each year and we have many of them now working in different countries of the world. He finishes the article by hoping the young people will continue to expand their presence all over the world.

Shadow on Education

One of the shadows on the  educational system in Korea is  tutoring-- private academies take much of the families money and time from the students preventing them from enjoying their youth. A researcher at the Catholic University Learning Center puts some light on the problems associated with private tutoring.

 
“Four hours of sleep and you pass, 5 hours of sleep and you will flunk.” These are the words that have been around for many years. Academy buses are easily seen on the streets. Our college students work part time teaching in these academies and those who want to teach, but can’t find work, are employed by these academies. Entrance examinations to college are the problem, and she doesn't want parents to see this as inevitable, but to continue to search for remedies.

 
Efforts have been made with free compulsory education, free lunches, and after school programs that have decreased the expenses on the parents for  public education, but the private keeps going up. The academies are following the same programs as the public schools and for that reason called 'shadow education'. The reliance on private education decreases from the 81.8 percent in elementary school, 69.5 in middle school and 55.9 percent in high school. In the lower grades we have concern for the students interests, cultural pursuits and aptitudes while in high school it is preparing for college entrance.

 
The conditions in many of the academies are worse than the regular school situation but the main reason for attending is to raise the grades of the students. If the students don't go to the academies, they are left alone during after school hours, another reason for going to the academies. Many believe the  private academies are supplementing the teaching in the schools, but those who have studied the situation feel it is to increase the competitive ability of the students. 

 
Family expenses are going up. Educational levels are being determined by money, nurturing more dissatisfaction, and building a culture that sees grades as all important. The meaning of  education is distorted, the place of education in the home is belittled, and fostering a need for separation from family in search of learning. These elements which are distorting the education of our students is making parents forget to develop the gifts  children have received.

She recommends that the school decrease the number of students for each teacher. Stop the classification of jobs as high or low, and ranking them according to prestige. Efforts are necessary to change the cultural need to relate with others according to their rank in society: not judging only by externals. Without this liberation we will not be freed from the  need for private education. There is a need for the parents to stop looking for ways to better the education of their children. She asks is the education for the good of the child or the good of the parent? Are the academies helping the children to be more vital or are they  oppressive and  preventing growth?  Is it not happiness and vitality that the parents want for their children?

Sensitive Leadership

The diocesan bulletin finishes the series of articles on communication with the place of  mutual understanding  as an important quality in  leadership. The professor uses the words of Pope Francis asking when we give alms to a beggar do we look into their eyes? If not do we at least  grasp their  hand? With these gestures we are meeting the person to whom we are  giving alms. We need to be at the same  level of the person with whom we are trying  to communicate and be sensitive to their situation. The pope's method of leadership in understanding  is not  what we usually see in society, but rather the 'follow me'  bulldozer type of leadership.

Korea's economic and educational level is that of a developed country, and with the changes  we have in society the bulldozer type of leader is not what we need. No matter how capable a person is the lone-ranger type of approach does not easily solve our problems. What we need is respect for the other, sensitivity to another position. We want all to participate and ask those in  leadership to be sensitive and have respect for the others within the community.

Communicating requires that the leader does not reign over the community but stand together with them, and look into their eyes.This is the first first requisite of a  leader. Dialogue to mediate and manage the conflicts and misunderstandings, to encourage, praise, assist the members of the community to spontaneously  judge their situation and take the initiative in finding solutions. Changes from outside are many and efforts to correct and harmoniously deal with the problems that arise are necessary.

In every society we have the progressives and conservatives, the left and the right, conflict and misunderstandings. We have those that agree and those opposed, those who like and those who don't:  a very normal situation.  We take  this for granted. The means we need to follow require we persuade those who are involved. This does not mean we try to have others on our side or overcome them, but to remain in dialogue. Success or failure in persuading depends on the opening of the hearts of the others. The effort expended requires a great deal of energy and is a difficult process. All parties have to see the result of dialogue  as a victory, and be able to live with the results. From this understanding we have leadership by persuasion and co-existence.

Leaders try to manage, be administrators of people. They  need  to read the hearts of those in their community, and read their own heart and emotions. To do this, their EQ index (Emotional Quotient-- measure of a person's adequacy in such areas as self-awareness, empathy, and dealing sensitively with others) has to be raised and to  help those in the community to raise their own index. We need to smooth over the  sediment from  emotions that are not helpful, and harmonize  the feelings that come from sensitivity, and help the members to relate gently with one another, which means sensitive leadership.

This  does not require a  need to  speak well.  What  is needed for communication, concludes the professor,  is the meeting of hearts. Without sympathy we will not have communication. This leadership sensitivity is what we mean by communication leadership. This kind of leadership is not only for the individual, an organization,  a company or a community, but for all of society.

Old Foreign Missioners in Korea.

The number of foreign missioners in Korea continues to decrease. Korea no longer needs the help of the foreigners, and is sending her own missioners to many parts of the world. Recently, the Seoul Diocesan Council of Priests has set up a program for the treatment of old  foreign missioners who remain in Korea.

An editorial in the Catholic Times reports on the decision to give these old foreign missioners, who choose not  to return to their country, and have worked in the diocese for over 10 years, a place to stay and living expenses. The essence of the decision is to make the life of the retired missioners comfortable in Korea. This, says the editorial is a change, and welcomes and applauds the move.

The editorial mentions that  the Church  has been able to grow the way it has because of the help given by the foreign missioners in the past. The Paris Foreign Missioners came to Korea in the beginning to spread the faith when they knew they would face the threat of martyrdom by the knife.  After them came the Maryknoll Fathers and Columban Fathers, who both materially and spiritually gave unstintingly to the Church. Especially after the Korean War they  were instrumental in supplying  the hungry Koreans with  something to eat.                     

These missionary societies in contrast to the Korean Church have become weaker and have fewer members than was the reality when they came to Korea. The missioners have become old and infirm, they have not been replaced and their work has been curtailed. The Seoul Diocesan plan to help these missioners is a way of remembering  what they have done, and  showing the Korean Church's gratitude  for their many years of work.

In God's providence the Church of Korea has benefited from the work of the foreign  missioner and now is the time for the Church to return this in care for the old missioners.This is a grace that the Church is able to show to these old missioners. Sharing is of the essence of what Church should mean. The decision of the Seoul Diocese in regards to these old missioners is welcomed.

The missioners have not only worked in Seoul but in other parts of the country. Each diocese, the editorial hopes, according to their needs and capacity, will  follow the example of the Seoul Diocese.

Many of the dioceses have without any formal programs or decisions shown concern for the old missioners. Here in Gyodong, where the writer of this blog lives, has been benefiting from the largess of the Inchon Diocese for the last eight years. Many other dioceses have without any formal decisions and programs  shown concern for the old missioners.  Retired missioners in the present Church benefit from the work of the  missioners of the past, who worked in difficult circumstances and now those who are old and infirm are receiving the love and gratitude of our Korean Christians with whom we live and work.

Say 'Yes' When You Mean "Yes"...

"Say 'Yes' when you mean 'Yes" and 'No' when you mean 'No'. Anything beyond that is from the evil one." A lawyer writing on the opinion page of the Peace Weekly tells us that Adam was the first person to violate this teaching.

In the first book of the Bible after Adam ate the forbidden fruit, he  hid himself  and when God asked him did he eat the forbidden fruit he answered:  "The woman whom you put here with me-- she gave me fruit from the tree, and so I ate it" (Gen. 3:12). Adam only needed to say "Yes" but he blamed Eve for his own act of disobedience and with his excuse tried to shift the blame from himself. With the opening of their eyes we have the suggestion where the original sin is found according to the lawyer.

Ordinarily we say  it is a sin when we do something that is forbidden and liable to punishment, but when we deny or give an excuse we do not consider the act sinful. Consequently we find  words, and acts within society that excuse from what is called sin. We find ways to confront another for their failing but not to  make much of it. We find circumstances and motives where we talk around what was done and package it up with many words.  In our society to acknowledge our faults  detracts from our authority, and can be detrimental to our financial situation, reflected often in our political life. This whole network of denial and excuses can be traced back to the time of Adam.

This is not only doing something that is forbidden but when we excuse our actions we are  advancing evil. The American psychiatrist M. Scott Peck (1936-2005) was one who brought this to our attention  in his book: People of the Lie,  for him  evil is a kind of mental problem that has been systematized and needs to be treated. He found in his counseling, evil that didn't fit into the pathological categories of the mentally sick. Evil's characteristic is not to feel guilty, to blame others, cleverly lie, and by the lies  cause confusion and disgust. This discovery made him turn to Christianity from the other religions with which he was attracted.

Evil exists in the spiritual and moral dimension but missing in science and in our social domain which gives rise to confusion and misunderstanding.  In reality, she says, when we speak about evil in society we speak about it in absolute terms. Dr.Peck sees it as a mental problem. The soul of all of us are in a battle between God and evil, and the doctor makes us understand that the victory is salvation. He has no problem in seeing the devil in all of this.

According to the  Scriptures we have to identify and fight  against the  evil within us which requires obedience.  In our speech, we arm ourselves when our 'Yes" is  "Yes" and our "No" is "No". She admits that this is not easy for it requires a great deal of reflection but it is what the life of faith requires of us.

Is Chastity a Word we Need to Discard?

The road that our young people have to walk in this age of pleasure is far from easy. "Who in this age uses the word purity?  If one wants to practice chastity they have to refrain from dating." At first I found it difficult and cried a lot, but after awhile sex became a pleasant pastime like eating and talking."  "One night stands are always possible. If the desire is there on the part of each, what is the problem? We both pay for the motel expense and it's a saving." These are some of the easy talk we have about sex to introduce an article in the Kyeongyang magazine by one who has studied the subject and lectures on sex.

Chastity is no longer a value. 45.6 percent of 1,254 college students said they had sexual intercourse, while half of those that did not have the experience said it was the lack of an opportunity. 66.1 percent of those older than 23 had a sexual experience while those older than 25 the percentage was 82.1 percent. This, the writer says, is not  from another country but a report about  Korean students in our newspapers.

The attitude displayed by the report, the writer finds disturbing. "Who in today's world uses the word chastity?" It is a word from another age. Is chastity now considered a vice and to be discarded?

Our sexual perceptions are formed by our culture which in turn are influenced, unknowingly, by the mass media. In the past we had the printed word;  today, images, there is a world of difference.

Students  entering college were asked to write about a first kiss in detail: 70 percent of the  women wrote about the falling snow and kissing under the street lights, while the men talk about kissing in an  alley. Why such a similarity? What the young people saw over the years  in ads, movies, dramas, and  musicals is what comes to mind. Our young people  have seen much more than kissing. 

Big business has made use of mass media to spread this sexual ideology far and wide. The sexual craving needs to be satisfied. Love has to be satisfied by sex. When the lover is absent than a 'one night stand' is acceptable. The popular culture has made this a common feature and habit in life. We see it in drama, movies, talk shows, in dating. Violence is inflicted on those who do not buy into this modern ideological sex culture. Those who do not want to join in are ridiculed and considered sick.

Sexual ideology's biggest evil  is dealing a big blow to the culture of life. Sex and pleasure without the possibility of life becomes normal. The writer wants to ask those who are spreading this ideology  how many times pregnant, how many abortions, how many partners, how many encounters and separations?  Does this life bring happiness? Common sense gives an  obvious answer, and why do we fail to make it known?

Using the words of Lincoln : You can fool all the people some of the time,  some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. In conclusion he uses  God's words speaking to the Israelites when they entered a new land and are tempted by their Gods and their way of life. "I am your God now  that you are in the land of pleasure don't follow your craven desires and follow after what you see." Don't lose your way in this land but  follow the way of chastity.  The young people of today  have to follow the way of the martyrs.This is the cross that will help heal the world.