In a bulletin for priests, the writer wonders if society is headed for serious confusion. People are condemning with 'swords', under the banner of justice, and enjoying
it. The writer has an eerie feeling
towards what is happening. Even though those who have been singled out
for the 'sword' for their wrong doing and immorality, they are
wielded cruelly.
He doesn't feel that the condemnation
is for the betterment of society but rather like the hunter who has
hit his prey with the arrow, those on the sidelines seeing
the blood yell: kill, kill. Externally it seems there is an interest
in justice, but he can't help but feel that the interest is more in
the cruelty of the violence.
Years ago, an experiment in which a person who had a slight justification to throw a stone, when he does, becomes sadistic. The Stanford Prison Experiment
prepared by the psychologist Zimbardo who selected 24 student from
middle class backgrounds to roll play prisoner and guard in a mock
prison, showed this to be the case.
The aim of the experiment was to see how readily people would conform to the roles of guard and
prisoner in a role-playing exercise that simulated prison life.
Surprisingly, the experiment had to be discontinued after just a week for
the guards began to act sadistically towards the prisoners.
Zimbardo
determined from his experiment that no matter how kind a person may be
when the enviroment is evil and one is given the right to punish, this easily turns into cruelty. In the beginning it may
start off as a joke but the students when they were
given authority, internally the latent power, desire to control, and gratuitous
attacking appeared.
When
we condemn someone, the same dynamics are experienced. In this case the
one who is punishing the condemned, feels a sense of superiority and a feeling of pleasure in that he is realizing justice, which can
increase the degree of condemnation. What is even worse
is the righteous anger with which we are filled, sees others
who are not concerned as escapists, small minded, and cowards. There
are many in society who see the corrupt as sinking the society as the Sewol sank, and are speaking out.
This
kind of thinking is very natural to us. We
have to be careful with these feelings. Do the stones we are throwing
really have something to do with justice or a way to
resolve our own violence? We need to examine
ourselves to determine if these words of condemnation are for the sake of
society or coming from our brutal nature. If not we are like
the Khmer Rouge who killed the innocent without any sense of guilt.
May, the month of the family and Mary's month. A beautiful month but
we don't always hear beautiful things about the family. A professor emeritus in the Peace Weekly relates some of the problems we face.
We had killings in Seoul of
parents for inheritance last year; almost half of abuse of
the elderly was committed by sons. A country that was know for its
filial piety is no longer seen as such. Last year police department
statistics say that over 5% of the murders are in the family--more than the United States and England.
We like Cain have
the tragic possibility of disobeying the call of God: selfish acts we see in ourselves daily. Those who commit murder are not conscious of the connection we have with each other. The inability to see the strong connections we
have with one another are replaced by individualism
and selfishness even in families, weakening family bonds.
Industry
in our capitalistic society makes us worshipers of money and its slave.
The sudden development of technology has brought into the family TV, and
the smart phone which have become family. This ends
family communication, the family's values and ethics give way to each
his own understanding of family. This is not only a Korean
problem but a world wide problem, and the synod on the family which began
last year and will continue this October, has this as one of the issues.
Families in Korea have serious ailments, and the wounds have to be faced. We
have one of the lowest birthrates in the world and the number of suicides
are highest. The older one is, the greater are the chances of suicide.
Family problems arise in the eyes of many in the desire to succeed which is the answer to everything. From
an early age study is first; fixed in the head is competition, and
what follows is stress and depression. Number one reason for deaths among the
youth is suicides, and the number of young people who have thought
of suicide continues to rise. Young people who have stopped going to
school and those who have run away from home are many.
Over
20,000 have run away from home and over 60% are girls. Recently a girl of 14, a runaway, when
she ran out of money sold her body for sex, and was killed shocking the nation. This is one of the reason the bishops in synod will be
considering children on the streets.
When adult this
stress does not disappear; this way of living follows them in adult
life and they continue to be self-absorbed. After marriage rather
than solving their problems with love and understanding we often have violence. Instead of the beautiful understanding of marriage as the joining of two for a life time is destroyed, and we have separation and divorce and the violence that is seen in the family is handed down to children.
Our
professor concludes asking for prayers for the coming synod on the
family that it may help us in treating some of the problems
families have in society, and hopes it will be a light to us in Korea. Pope John Paul said the future depends on family
life.
A professor emeritus of the Catholic Medical school in his Peace
Weekly column, remembers the question of his mother: "Does God really
exist?" He was greatly surprised by this unexpected question. The son with a perplexed look on his face: "Mother why such a
question at this time...?" "God has told us he will answer all our
petitions but he has not answered my prayers," was her answer.
She
has over the years prayed fervently for the grandchildren to do well
in school, prayers for the children to get good jobs after college, to
enjoy good health, mostly for family and in her eyes these prayers
weren't answered. Somewhat confused and evasively he answered: "How can
God give answer to everything that people ask at the same time? After a
long time, in God's order, all will work out for the good." Not only his
mother, he says, but many are perplexed and their prayers leave much to
be desired.
The Japanese writer Shusaku Endo considered this silence of God in his novel Silence.
This book continues to be read by many of our Catholics in Korea.
Briefly the plot is based on the 17th century persecution in Japan. A
Jesuit priest Ferreira, a beloved teacher in the seminary, was sent to
Japan as a missioner, and word came back that he had apostatized.
His student, Fr. Rodriguez, went to Japan to find out what happened and
he himself apostatized in an effort to stop the killing of the
Catholics. He did all that the authorities wanted which was to step
on the image of Jesus.
Fr. Rodriguez overcome with remorse, guilt, and resentment cried to heaven: "Lord, why seeing all this suffering do you keep silent, it is impossible to understand." Then to Rodriguez came the voice: "Son! I am not silent I am suffering with you and in torment with you."
Those
reading the book and seeing the suffering of the Christians and
feeling resentment in the silence of God, with the words addressed
to Rodriguez have a greater love for God and a greater trust in
him. Are there any words that can give more consolation and hope?
Spring is here; we hear the sound of the cuckoo bird and are filled with the sentiments that come with the season. The sound is plaintive and
evocative of feeling. However, the bird has the habit of laying its
eggs in another bird's nest, and fools the mother birds into thinking
they are their eggs. The other eggs are destroyed and the cuckoo bird
monopolizes the nest. A priest writing in a pastoral bulletin tells his
reader this is a shameless way of behaving, and wonders if, at times, we act in the
same fashion.
In order to prevent this from
happening--where the cuckoo male becomes the father of the birds in
the nest--makers of the nest have develop methods to distinguish
the intruder's eggs, but in most cases they trust the eggs to be
their own, and lovingly take care of them. The mother cuckoo waits until
the babies are grown and keeps on circling the nest until they are
able to live on their own and takes them. From one mountain
to another in its call the cuckoo is alerting the baby cuckoos of its presence.
There
is fundamental difference between the way we deal with people and the
way Jesus did: we can consider a person as a means or as an end. Jesus gave himself completely to others. This was his love for
all. Love was not merited, but love was
the reason for his life. This journey required giving,
emptying himself and even the cross. We were never a means.
However,
we can use God as a means to satisfy our greed, desires and egoism, but we end up with emptiness. We don't prize the
giver as much as what is given.
This kind of person is
concerned only about his fence, family, and resembles the cuckoo
bird in wondering how the nest of another will be of benefit. It
may seem like success for some but not able to put roots down, and living like a tight rope walker gives little peace.
When we
hear the call of the cuckoo, the writer concludes, let us ask ourselves if we are using God as a
means or as an end.When we are using another to satisfy our needs we are
no different than the cuckoo bird. If we understand God to be our end
than we need to act in this way when relating with others.
A professor who teaches spirituality in the department of Catholic University writes in the Peace Weekly about his talks, which he gives on Spirituality, and on every occasion he mentions the Gallup survey that was made in 2004.
One of the questions on the survey was why do Catholic's believe. Our professor was surprised that 73% of the respondents wanted peace of mind. He admits that the survey is not a specialized study but it does give an indication of the thinking of the Catholics and a great majority have accepted religion for peace of mind. The real reason one accepts religion should be eternal life here and hereafter, but only 5 percent gave this as an answer. In his talks he wants the audience to think about their responses.
Last year a similar survey was made, 10 years after the first one, with a slight change in the results. This time 63% wanted peace of mind, and those who were looking for eternal life rose to 12%. How much of the change were because of his efforts, he leaves as a question, but he thinks Pope Francis' visit had something to do with the change. But still we have a problem with the thinking of our Catholics.
Those with no religion believe that 60% of religious people are looking for peace of mind, and presume that 14 % are looking for eternal life-- similar to the Catholics' answers. With this kind of thinking the priest wonders whether spirituality and psychology become one. Of course he agrees that this was not absent from our history of spirituality but it was secondary.
Peace of mind is offered outside religion where spirituality is replaced by psychology. Searching for peace of mind has nothing to do with religion, and can be found in all areas of life outside of religion-- not the way we arrive at a Catholic spirituality.
As Catholics we are looking for salvation to be with God now, and for all eternity.This is the makeup of the spirituality we choose, and not looking for peace from the blessings of this world.
We have been called to have the joy that was in Jesus and to imitate him. We are called to mission which is the spirituality we want.The peace of mind is a by-product and not motivating force. If we consider only our needs and desires we become selfish, and forget why we have been called, and make religion a means and not an end. We have been called to be like Christ and to love as he did.
Today is Ascension Sunday, and the 49th Communication Day. This year
however, we see the message of the Pope directed not to preaching the
Gospel to the whole world but for the first time the
need for communicating in the family. The Peace Weekly editorial comments on
this change of emphasis. "The family, in conclusion, is not a subject of debate or a terrain for ideological skirmishes. Rather, it is an environment in which we learn to communicate in an experience of closeness, a setting where communication takes place, a “communicating community”.
The Church has shown the importance of the family in the two synods with family as the subject. Last year the extraordinary synod and this year in October the Ordinary synod both on the family. All the problems come from the family, and can be solved in the family.
"Communication, consequently, is an important part of family life, and we need to facilitate this kind of environment in the family."In the family, we learn to embrace and support one another, to discern
the meaning of facial expressions and moments of silence, to laugh and
cry together with people who did not choose one other yet are so
important to each other. This greatly helps us to understand the meaning
of communication as recognizing and creating closeness."
Communication in the family is a problem because of the structure and environment in which families live. In an article on the subject we are told that communication in the family is disappearing. From the office of statistics we are told the time children spend talking to parents continues to decrease, and noticed especially with the increase of smart phones. It is not unheard of a family, sitting down each with their smart phones, waiting for the food. Even a bigger problem is not to have anything to say when attempts at dialogue are made.
Father in his way, mother in her way and the children in their own way, make up the family. Only at some big event are they all together. There are days when they do not meet. Even the couple, in one out of three families, doesn't talk to each other for more than 30 minutes a day. The older the children get the less talk between the spouses.
"It is in the context of the family we learn how to communicate.
Focusing on this meaning can help make our communication more
authentic and humane, while helping us to view the family in a new
perspective." These words of the pope help us to understand how precious family ties are. The article on the subject ends with the words of a priest, head of a diocesan research center on the family: "members of a family have to realize how important members are to each other, and how precious to the growth of a person life in the family is."
May is the month of Mary and family. The family is the smallest community in society; the nation and society exist for the family. This teaching of the Church is emphasized, but sadly
the family is not what we expect and desire. Families are old, have a low birthrate, divorces are many; single parent families,
grandparents and grandchildren living together, make family life
difficult. In the Catholic Times the columnist spells out the problems he sees in society and asks: Is your family life happy?
Society
can't take care of all the problems families face. Families are
considered necessary for economic development, numbers being an
important index. Labor and education, with their competition are making life difficult for students and our young people. Peace of mind, that God wants for these young people and a feeling of worth is
difficult to achieve.
Not having a social safety net, the war of competition is the reality, and in many cases when they do
have a job they have difficulty making ends meet which makes for a low
birth rate. After the birth of the first child they see the
difficulties of raising a child and decide against any more. In a study that was made at Oxford
University in England: with the present
birthrate, Korea will no longer exist as a country in 2300.
Confusion
in society does not allow one to examine their condition. Emptiness is felt, and the family is of little help. Even over small
matters their are conflicts and marriage is faced with the possibility
of divorce, and yet without the time to think over what they want in marriage, they feel pushed into marriage. Children are the ones who
suffer from this condition.
Both father and mother
have to work and the children because of the structures of society often
do not have the love and warmth of family life. Loneliness is
filled with the smart phone, computer games, or the violence and
stimulation from images. Grandparents are tried beyond their ability in caring for the children. And we have those living alone in one room
shelters who have to eke out a living.
All these are
conditions of our society. It is not easy for the government to find
where to begin their efforts. As the basic community in
society, in which one is born in the image of God, we are to feel this dignity and called to live accordingly.
We
don't as people of faith just look at our families and sigh, and
worry about the future of the children, and the elders in society. We
don't only want to pray and worry about the future but also want to make the next year's month of the family a better place in which to raise a family.
