Many times in our lives we are in a situation where words of consolation are in order. It may be a letter which carries our attempts at comfort, an e-mail, a telephone call, or the meeting of the person hurting. Bible & Life has an article by a pastor with the pastoral responsibility of workers in the diocese.
He asks the readers what words of consolation have meant the most to them. What words or ours have been helpful to those in pain who have come to us for words of comfort? His article considers the injustice a woman experienced that left her lonely and dejected.
He was approached by the woman who wanted to speak to him after they finished the meal at the work place. They went to a nearby coffee shop to talk. As soon as they sat down she began to cry and shake. She explained how her boss scolded her for something she did not do, and will have to leave the company. Moreover, they both belonged to the same religion making the situation all the more intolerable for her.
What was he to say to her? Glancing at the woman he was wondering how to respond. He tried to recall some Scripture quotes that would be appropriate. No-- would it not be better to simply tell her to be strong and trust in God? He finally decided what to say but his head and heart didn't agree. After she finished talking she excused herself and went to the bathroom. He was confused and the coffee was getting cold, as he continued to finger the cup.
In prayer he asked God to either help him say the right words or in some way console the woman. In his grumbling he open his carrying bag and took out a memo pad and began writing what was in his heart very slowly. "Sister, hearing your very difficult situation I do not know what to say, but I will keep you in my prayers." He inserted the paper very carefully in her purse.
Returning from the bathroom she told the priest she had an appointment and would have to leave. They went out together and with the parting salutation each went their own way. He had a heavy heart returning to his office where he received a text message from the woman. " Father, thank you for listening to me and I will also remember you in prayer."
The article concludes with his knowing that he is not going to have the necessary words that people need to hear when they are hurting. However, at night before going to bed he remembers those who have entrusted themselves to him in prayer, those who are facing problems and those who have annoyed him, and he brings them to the attention of God.
How many priests give good sermons? In the opinion of a retired professor of humanities, writing in With Bible, at the most two out of ten.He is not talking about revivalist
preaching or eloquent sermons, but a sermon that connects the Gospel
to life, and helps listeners to reflect on the words and motivates them to put the words heard into practice. These kinds of sermons are
rare, and is it not the reason we have many reading the parish bulletin
during the sermon?
Priests consider the homilies at Mass important but some spend time giving theological
explanations and some just give a perfunctory sermon. He says he
doesn't know how they teach homiletics in the seminary but listening to
the sermon he can make an educated guess.
Liturgy is
important for we are given the message of the Gospel, God's love in the liturgy, and the sermon is the key to this
message. Young priests read a prepared sermon very carefully, and the
older priests speak very confidently, without help, but they don't deal with the problems Christians are facing. When we
just hear theology, talks about attitudes, and Church news, they are not
helpful in our daily lives. What is happening in society and the
way it impacts the Christians is an aspect of the sermon that can't be
overlooked, although some Christians have difficulty with this side of the Gospel message. He feels
the Church should take notice that many of the clergy are not doing a
good job in their homilies. Parishioners besides Communion do not see
the importance of the other parts of the Mass. He would like to know how
many are moved by the Mass and have tears come to their eyes.
Homilies
should prepare people to receive our Lord in Communion and be changed.
Each day we need to be born again and is this not taking part in the
death and resurrection of Jesus? He feels that this element of being
changed by what happens at each Mass is not a big part of the Church's
concern. A big reason is the lack of homilies that fit the situation in
which the Christians find themselves.
He admits that he
has to come to a new understanding of his life as a Christian. Our
present times he feels could be gloomier than the time when Jesus was on earth. Love is what is able to break through the darkness which we face. We need homilies that make us understand our lives
and help us to live as Christians.
In his
talks to the seminarians he tells them to be conservative in what they
believe but progressive once they become priests in what they do. If the priests do not
prepare the congregation to receive our Lord in Communion they should
blame themselves. A priest who doesn't see what is going on in the
world may be a good high priest but he is not a prophet. The sermon is
what lights the fire. At the end of Mass we have the Sending: "Go forth
the Mass is ended" we are meant to live the Mass and be the hands and
feet of Jesus to others and the world.
Questions are an important part of learning. A professor and educator
with experience in her field, brings to the readers of the Kyeongyang
magazine the issue surrounding questions that were treated in a TV
program.
Question 1) Generally when do persons make a decision on their dream and happiness?
1) teens 2) twenties 3) thirties 4) forties 5) fifties
Question 2) What is the common rule one follows on the athletic field, class room, library?
1) washing your hands 2) running 3) greeting others 4) sitting quietly 5) walking on the right
Question 3) Trying to realize our dream what do we do when we meet problems?
Answers: Question one (1) Question two ( 5) Question three (Continue to realize the dream)
Students at one of the elite universities in Korea were asked these questions and few gave the model answers. Foreigners asked the same questions had difficulty with the model answers. She explains the more one thinks about the questions the more questions one has. Some would prefer to stop thinking and memorize the answers. Our
students she says, preparing for college entrance, suspend their
questions, doubt and thoughts, and unconditionally memorize the answers
which is the way to avoid mistakes.
She mentions the
need to change the atmosphere in the classroom. We don't ask questions
of people who are not connected to us in some way or of authority figures. Consequently, in the class room if the atmosphere is not conducive to
questions, because of the traditional authority of the
teacher, this has to be put aside, and a horizontal relationship maintained, to allow questions from the students.
This
change is taking place in the classroom but how about in the home?
When a woman is pregnant, and knows it, she begins
talking to the baby, and gives the baby a
womb name. "Hello?" "Are you waiting to see your mother and father?" "What do
you expect from your father and mother?" These and many other questions,
and talking goes on during the time in the womb.
After
the baby is born the parents are keen on every hand gesture, yawn,
muttering, movement of the body, crying and wanting to give the baby
everything. When the child begins school we have scolding, the orders-- "do it", "was it done?" and conversations are often
limited to yes and no.
'Anger sickness' (an ailment
supposedly caused by one's pent-up resentment) is not only a problem
with middle age women but also with the young. College entrance exams
require that students give the answers that are ordered by the questions,
and they are not allowed any retort. This is the reason for the 'anger sickness'.
Without the atmosphere in which a
person is allowed to speak what is their hearts there will be resistance
and strange behavior. She recommends that parents return to the way they treated the baby in the womb, and enable the
children to be themselves and speak what is in their hearts.
In recent years many have seen problems with a lack of human
qualities among the students: responsibility, honesty, courage, respect
for others, and the many other virtues necessary to live well with
others. They wanted to do something about the situation and we have a
law that now is asking all the teachers in elementary, middle and high
school to prepare students with programs that will help develop this
aspect of their education. Peace Column in the Catholic Peace Weekly, brings
the issue to the attention of the readers.
The proposal
is hoping that all of society will benefit, but it is mainly an issue
with the teachers in the formation of students in our primary and
secondary schools. Programs are now only at the beginning stages, for
the details and budgets have not been made and the programs will not
be completed until the end of the year.
In the
beginning it was proposed that the teachers have 15 hours or more
of study and training in preparation, but because of strong opposition
it was decrease to 4 hours. The program is required.
Concern for the building of character was missing in the past and efforts are made by law to remedy the situation. In order not to give
the semblance of force they have added the word 'encouragement' to the name of the law.
One educator made it clear that in his
judgment the law was a throw back to another age-- for the government to
intrude in a persons' basic and personal rights. Schools need to be interested in the human formation of the students but this is not the government's task. Enacting a law for this purpose leaves him with a bitter taste.
In the first article of the law we are told of the need to develop the internal in a correct and healthy
fashion, and in order to relate with others, society and with the
environment, character and human qualities have to be nurtured in the educational programs.
A movement that is active
among the different religions of Korea is to live according to one's
values. This is similar to what is being attempted with the school
children. He concludes the article hoping both programs find an audience that
is open and willing to work for a change.
A priest, and seminary professor, in the Kyeongyang magazine begins
with an indirect apology for being blunt in his questions. Does the
Church live according to the Gospel for the poor? Is not the Church
quite different from the original Gospel of the poor that it once
preached? We are no longer able to harmonize the life style we live with
the original teaching of the Gospel. The writer reminds the readers
that poverty was the essence of Jesus' message (Philippians 2:5-11).
The writer uses the words of Pope Francis in the exhortation Joy of the Gospel to speak about poverty. In Korea the response to the pope's words on the economy
had little opposition within the community of faith. Surprising is the
failure to understand the pope's words in the West, many see it as
Marxism, when in reality it is an attack on distortions of the
new-liberalism and not the free market economic system with an ethical
ethos. Pope Francis is only repeating the traditional teaching. Many
refuse to see the problems within the present economic system.
"How can it be that it is not a news item when an elderly homeless
person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses two
points? This is a case of exclusion. Can we continue to stand by when
food is thrown away when people are starving? This is a case of
inequality" (#53).
When the market and money are
idolized we have exclusion and social problems. Neo-liberalism works often
with the motivation that comes from greed, and persons are often used,
and their dignity not respected. Pope Francis was not in favor of the
trickle-down help for the poor.
Between 1997
and 2008 Korea had two economic crises as they were pushing for globalization--not only an economic issue but it affected all of society. In the OECD countries Korea had the largest number of irregular
workers, largest number of suicides, and high in the unhappiness index
for the citizens. He mentions the death of two well known people, one died of hunger and the other of a sickness, and his body was discovered 5 days
later.
"The need to resolve the structural causes of poverty cannot be
delayed, not only for the pragmatic reason of its urgency for the good
order of society, but because society needs to be cured of a sickness
which is weakening and frustrating it, and which can only lead to new
crises. Welfare projects, which meet certain urgent needs, should be
considered merely temporary responses. As long as the problems of the
poor are not radically resolved by rejecting the absolute autonomy of
markets and financial speculation and by attacking the structural causes
of inequality,no
solution will be found for the world’s problems or, for that matter, to
any problems. Inequality is the root of social ills" (#202).
Each of us, no matter how busy, needs to take time from our schedule to reflect and examine ourselves. When driving along a dark road nobody flicks the light on in the car in order to see better. When dark we see the outside clearly. I need to turn all the lights off and be in solitude and have all my senses turned inwards. A time to be with God and myself. Bible & Life has this topic featured in the recent issue.
A priest in his article reminds us that one third of our time is spent alone. In bed with one's spouse you are alone; even when busy there are times when you are alone. God when he saw that Adam was alone he made Eve to be his companion. Life is composed of times alone and with others.
However, we often think that a person who likes to be alone is fastidious, a loner and resents the presents of others. We need to discard this way of thinking; in the present world it is difficult to find time to be alone. Riding in the subway we see many sitting alone but busy with their smart phones and connected to the world.
Proverbs 4:23 we read: "With closest custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life." In our deepest recesses we have a reservoir that we are not familiar with. When we are alone we can look into this reservoir and meet God.
To understand this he give us something for our imagination. Someone is sitting by a lake in a forest. Fresh and brisk air fills his being, his head and breast feels free. Like a mirror the water reflects the trees mountains and sky in the lake. He hears the sound of birds and other indistinct sounds from a distance. A bird comes into view as it flies over the lake. As it flew over his head a speck from the wing of the bird fell into the water right in front of him.
He sees and then he doesn't the small particle in the water, but as the water rings gets bigger the particle comes to stop at his feet. Many thoughts come to mind but he doesn't give notice. Being in that place was a gift but he is able to leave at any moment. He reminds us it is only those who are able to be alone that have this peace.
"In the busy world we are in we lose contact with our
true self, and begin to tire of our daily tasks, and our pleasures become boring and being alone brings great joy." These words of a poet are the writers wish for us. Our Lord in John 16:32 --(Yet I can never be alone; the Father is with me.) Jesus was never isolated a loner, he was always one with the Father. This he concludes is the reason we need to find time for silence and being alone.
A priest in the welfare apostolate of a diocese was asked to come to an adoption home run by sisters, for an interview with a woman from France. The woman was in Korea to take her son, who was adopted from Korea, back to France. He was addicted to liquor and drugs and no matter how much the parents wanted him to return, he refused. The mother had to return to France alone.
The priest, writes in a bulletin about his experience with adopted children, and what he has learned. At that time he met the friends of the boy who had returned to Korea from France. Many years before the priest had studied in France, and met many Korean young people who had been adopted and living in France, he wanted to help them.
When he left the work in welfare he didn't want to put a burden on his successor but he finally did get around to starting a legal cooperation 'Nest' to be of service to the unfortunate adoptees. More than 230,000 were adopted after the Korean War. Not all were fortunate in the parents they found and in their new homes.
Many have devoted parents and have adapted well to their new environment but some of the parents did not do the necessary paper work, either unknowingly or deliberately, to make them citizens of the country; in the United States we have some who are considered illegal aliens and in prison.
Adopted children are crying out and looking for their birth mothers. He strongly feels that Korea has to change the way they look on unmarried mothers and help them keep their babies. He reminds us that there are two or three infants everyday being sent overseas. He doesn't hear people raising their voices in opposition to this in a country that is tenth in financial strength.
We speak about the low birthrate and aging population, loudly condemn contraception and abortion, should we not also start making a society that will accept the unmarried mothers and help them to keep their child? Changing the thinking on adopting children within the country is also a need. And concludes with a desire that we remember the many Korean children who are adopted and living in other countries.
