A religious sister with a doctorate in clinical social welfare writes from her experience with young people in the Kyeongyang magazine. She has worked with problem youth since 1988 and since 2000, she has worked in a center preventing abuse of children. Dealing with battered children she laments on the condition of many of our families, society, and country; this abnormal condition of society has moved her greatly.
She has many stories to tell about the abuse of children. After installing a telephone line for the reporting of abuse of children the first child was a nine-year-old girl, skin and bones, with spots on her left hand as large as a coin where her father with cigarettes burned her hand.The next day three girls were brought in with black and blue marks on their back. The father appeared at the center with abusive language and threats, wanting the girls back.
A third grader in elementary school came to class, and the teacher noticed he was in pain. No signs on the exterior were seen; the teacher raised his upper outer clothing and saw the bruises all over his body and called the center.
"I am alright; my father must not know this. I told my new mother that I would not mention what happened. I have no trouble with the pain." The father denied beating the boy but when the bruises were shown to him, he broke down crying. Sister was upset more by the third grader not acting his age and trying to cover over what happened.
There is no reason to continue the retelling of these stories we know they exist. She continues with the results of this abuse among the young. The aftereffects of the abuse put the young into a world of darkness. Children are too young to have the inner strength to overcome the effects of abuse and serious mental problems arise.
She finishes her article with a wish that the Church become more active in this area. Jesus was concerned about the young and wants the Church to change the way they think about prevention and solutions to the problem. She gives us three proposals.
First, we should not accept this situation in society and be patient. Talks and efforts need to be made. Secondly, the church needs to open its door to all that are hurting. We need to change the image that we have of church as a place for the saved. Thirdly, education is needed for all the parishioners on ways to prevent abuse and violence in the family. Invite specialists to come to give talks on violence in the home, abuse of children and the elderly. These problems, important to remember, are not only seen in families with mental aberrations.
Both in society and church, persons that have emotional problems and have difficulty in controlling their anger need to receive help. Christians know the help Jesus, and his teaching has for us, and the need to draw nearer to him. A famous psychologist is quoted as saying, more die from problems we have among ourselves than all the many natural disasters. The bomb that we have in ourselves has to be defused.
"Charity is the greatest social commandment. It respects others and their rights. It requires the practice of justice, and it alone makes us capable of it. Charity inspires a life of self-giving" (Social Doctrine of the Church #583).
A lawyer writing in the diocesan bulletin recounts the tale of a driver who was in custody for retaliatory driving, and the writer was the lawyer who worked in his defense. The problem arises because the accused felt strongly that he also was a victim. Briefly, the incident may be described as follows:
The accused was driving in the first lane on the turnpike, and a follow traveler (plaintiff) was in the passing lane beside him. In front of the driver on his left was a freight truck that was going very slow, and the driver in the first lane surmised the plaintiff was looking for an opportunity to come back to the first lane, so he began to slow down to give the driver a chance to return. However, the driver did not respond. The accused then began to accelerate and the plaintiff, the one on his left- without any signaling suddenly made a turn to the first lane. The accused stepped on the break averting an accident. No sign of regret from the driver and a couple of meters later again without any signal moved to the passing lane. The accused was so angry; he made up his mind to stop the car and get an apology. With much effort he did get the plaintiff to stop, and the accused leaving his car belligerently demanded to know if the driver realized what he was doing? While he was bawling out the driver, a car smashed into the back of the plaintiff's car, there was a three-car pile up with six people injured.
We have the defendant who was doing everything possible to allow the plaintiff to return to the first lane, but he didn't take advantage of the opportunity given. When he did make the move, it was without any signal and the defendant considered he was mentally harmed by the actions of the plaintiff.
The defendant did not get any sign of sorrow for his efforts, and the anger (road rage) built up to the point that he wanted some compensation or to show he was not a pushover. He was so overcome with anger that he responded with retaliatory driving, both ended up as victims.
The lawyer told his readers that he learned a lot from this incident. When making a lane change the lawyer admits that he was not always thankful for the help given when it was received. He has often been at fault in actions on the roadways and is now able to make allowance for the faults of others. He is putting himself in the other person's shoes. The case in which he was defending the driver for road rage helped him to be conscious of the feelings of other drivers, and when he does change lanes and is helped, he is more expressive of thanks in his manner than in the past.
Society is interested in the ways we can determine a person's future
by exams and psychology studies of intelligence, aptitudes, and attitudes. Writing in the Kyeongyang magazine an educator with a great
deal of experience in the field gives her readers much to think about.
In
middle school she remembers taking an intelligence test and received a
score of 98. Her classmates received scores over 120. She remembers how
embarrassed she was, but strange as it seems she was the best student
in the class.... She later received consolation hearing the words of an
authority in the field who said that the environment in which a test
is taken makes a difference; that day everybody in the school was in the
large auditorium of the school for the exam.
Up until a
few years ago a person with a high IQ was considered to have a bright
future. However, today we have many other facets of intelligence that
have entered the picture. We have the emotional, spiritual, social, cultural and many other different elements that are as important as the IQ.
She
mentions that we have three main ways of discovering a person's level
of intelligence: measuring a person's mental ability, secondly a
person's emotional level and thirdly she mentions Howard Gardner's 8
aspects of intelligence: visual/spatial, verbal/linguistic,
logical/mathematical, bodily/kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal,
intrapersonal, and naturalist.
She laments that in
Korea student's marks in school are all that many parents consider
important. Obviously the reason is because of the parent's desire to have
them go on to a good college and little concern to find the student's
aptitude and temperament and work to develop this.
Parents
should not be limited to the classical studies in most of our high
schools. There are other possibilities in alternative schools and
colleges with special studies in areas that students show an aptitude.
Parents spend a great deal of money to send their children to academies
to prepare them to get into a good college when in many cases they will
be at the bottom of the class. Much better to prepare them for studies that they
want and will do well.
Gardner added a 9th to
his list which he called the Existential Intelligence. This is also
called the spiritual quotient. What is the meaning of life? What is
death? What is the
meaning of volition? What is happiness? Persons with this capacity are
deeply philosophical. They are emotionally stable, understand others,
are interested in social justice. They aim after high ideals and
values and inspire others to do the same and seek to instruct others of these values.
She concludes her article with the hope that parents will understand that a successful life is one where a person is using their gifts and enjoying what they are doing. Help your children to walk in this way. Parents work is not to earn the money for academies but to know their child and their talents and to help them on the road to their development.
Our present knowledge of the heavens both in quantity and quality has no correspondence with anything in the past. We are deepening our knowledge but at the same time ask why did the universe begin? Who/what is the absolute existence that has allowed this to happen? What is the reason for the universe? Humans, only a dot in the universe-- why are we here?
An article in the Kyeongyang magazine by a seminary professor wants us to examine these questions. They are not the questions scientists can answer but go beyond to the metaphysical. The answers given have been vague and varied.
Our Faith goes beyond the vagueness and uncertainty with answers. We understand that God made the universe and all of us; we are the recipients of this revelation from our ancestors, allowing us to have an understanding of our destiny. God is the beginning and final object, and the way we find meaning for our existence. The way we understand this relationship, receive it and develop it-- determines our destiny.
Creation
is the gift of God; nothing exists that is not a
gift. All comes from God, and directs us to God. Our existence comes from God and it is completed in God, and
the way we come to understanding our role in the universe.
After
the Renaissance with the emphasis on the autonomy of the human, a new
spirit of the times was evidenced, pushing God to the edges. Moreover, God became an obstacle to human development. Dependence
on God had to be broken if we were to mature; and yet
it was just the opposite that was needed-- dependence on God for our
development.
Humans are made in the image of God, which gives us our dignity. This truth makes the place of humanity in creation something quite different, a dignity that participates in God. This existence is completed with a personal relationship with God. He want us to imitate him and to make this easier he became one of us. We are called to be his co- workers in this world. In Creation, we have the blueprint and meaning for our journey as humans, and providence, the direction in which we are being led.
Today she spent time looking up at the heavens not because she had
nothing to do, but because she was restless and uneasy. She had the
habit of looking up at the heavens when happy or sad, but today the sky
was filled with gray clouds making her heart all the heavier. These are
the words of a woman writing in a diocesan bulletin; many of us at
times have the same feeling and look for ways to find peace.
There
is in one part of her heart, she writes, a scar that gently pierced
her self-respect. Her body and spirit both are uncomfortable with what
is happening. She is doing her best to get rid of the feeling of
uneasiness. All her efforts did not help and she remained restless and
she knew she was looking for some joy in her life. She was looking for
something that would change her and the wise words of a famous
Buddhist monk who wrote about the life of 'non-possession' came to
mind.
"An
empty mind is the absence of worldly desire.This emptiness is what it
was originally.When the mind is filled it is not the original mind.When
it is empty, we hear vibrations.Vibrations are needed for the freshness
and vitality of life"
She
doesn't understand deeply the words of the monk, but she knows that
she has too much of the self-harboring inside. This is what is dirtying
her spirit and makes her despondent. When she is fighting with her
self-respect, she feels she is getting smaller and is meeting
obstacles on her way to God,making her feel shabby and embarrassed.
She
is working to bring about a change in the way she thinks and wants to
clean out her mind. The hope for change makes for a lightness of heart
and energy to continue.From the many fairy tales, she has heard she
knows that happiness comes with getting rid of what we think is
important and is not. The paradox of losing to gain, of dying to live,
of losing ourselves to find ourselves. With this change in the
person we see appearance of joy and freedom.
When
we are in control and allow thoughts to enter there is no problem, but
when the mind is not trained and allows negative thoughts, we will often
be overcome.
'Return of the light' is the word used for the end of the Second World War and Korea's freedom from the Japanese. This year was the 70th anniversary, and we still have many of the problems with us from the end of the war. The columnist in the Catholic Times reminds us of the situation.
The comfort women are dying, and we are not closer to a solution or an agreement over compensation. We still need a solution on those who were pro-Japanese Koreans during the war, distortion of history, claims on the Dokdo Island, and similar issues still pending. The end of the war brought joy but also sadness over the division of the country. We have the North Limit Line, political and military problems that remain.
For a Christian, Jesus is the light. At the Paschal liturgy we sing Jesus is our light, but to receive this light we are told we have to face our faults and scars. The light is always shining on the darkness. We can't just concentrate on the darkness of the Japanese occupation, but we need to see the darkness in ourselves.
At the end of the war, Korea's provisional government in exile was not recognized, which did not help solve the problems with compensation, land and the pro-Japanese groups in Korea. The decisions were made by foreign powers, and the problems were stitched over, leaving much in darkness.
Koreans shed much blood but when it came to the armistice agreement, we were missing from the negotiations, there were many mistakes and one was the North Limit Line decision; this decision on the military line on the sea was not made. It was made later without the presence of the two parties. North Korea at that time did not have a maritime military force, and did not express disapproval, which has been a point of controversy.
In solving problems in the social area, we use the three steps: observe, judge and act. On this 70th anniversary of the armistice we should not interpret history for our benefit. We have to see the pain that we are experiencing presently (observe). We don't want to face this with division and war but overcome it with the light of Christ (judge). We don't want to go around in circles with the judgements of the world but (act) in the way Jesus would. When we see reality as it is we have what is necessary to act correctly.
Scriptures and the Magisterium are the lifeblood of our spiritual development. A professor at the Catholic University in the field of spirituality shows us the reason we need rational knowledge of Christian spirituality. The object of spirituality is revelation and personal experience. Spirituality in its development from the beginning to end is not a subjective study but a rational attempt to understand systematically what is involved. The study is mainly one for theologians but the layperson also has the need to approach the study of spirituality to help in its development.
However, in visiting a Catholic book store and looking over the books in the spirituality section, many books deal with the authors' meditation on their personal emotional experiences of spirituality. Obviously reading these kinds of books is better than not reading any at all, but there is the danger that we come away thinking spirituality is all about emotions and sentiment.
One who is interested in a healthy spirituality needs to be familiar with the Scriptures. Not only have the writers being inspired by the Holy Spirit but the Church guarantees the contents of the Scriptures for our growth in spirituality. In the Old Testament, we have the stories of God's workers in their journeys, and in the Psalms, prayers that bring us closer to God. The New Testament gives us the teaching of Jesus and how this teaching was applied in the daily lives of the Apostle.
We also need to give ear to the teaching of the Church. In the beginning, we had the Creed and its teaching was central but with time the Church began to teach us with its documents and especially in these times of rapid change in the teaching of the Second Vatican Council. In a person's religious experience, there are few things that should be remembered. In the 2000 years of church history, there have been many spiritual giants. They have passed on to others their experience of the spiritual life but also theologians have used their words and looked at them in an objective manner giving great help to the readers.
Individual personal experiences of the spiritual life are important in the development of spirituality. But when they are too subjective there is a danger of distortion. Necessary is to have a spiritual director to give an objective evaluation of what has transpired. God has made us all different, and we have different ways of growing spiritually, which is a great help in understanding the possibilities that we have.
In the development of a theology of spirituality, we see the tendency of using the human sciences. In the past we have seen certain saints use help from the sciences in their teaching and writing; however, it must be remembered that this knowledge from the human sciences can't replace spirituality. They help to see what is going on in an objective way in the spiritual life of an individual.
What happens in the spiritual life is an individual work, but it has to be looked at objectively if it is to be of help to others and oneself. The professor concludes the column by recommending that the readers spend time with a rational explanation of the spiritual life even though it may be a little difficult at the beginning, this academic approach systematically done will be of great help to the individual.
