Differentiating a gift from a bribe is not always easy. Size, reason, motive are important in determining whether we are dealing with a gift or bribe. At times it may be a mixture of the two for we are all imperfect human beings.
A gift is something of value given without any expectation of return while a bribe is given with the hope of a future benefit. We can see, in many cases, how easy it is to blur the difference. Gifts are open to a wrong impression and a very innocent gesture can be interpreted as an attempt to win influence with the receiver of the gift
Korea last year passed the 'anti-graft act' which puts a limit on the value of gifts, meals, and congratulatory and condolence money for public officials, journalists, and teachers.They are forbidden to accept meals worth more than 30,000 won about 27 dollars. This is only one of the possible situations where the law may be broken.
In Korea, gift-giving is an important part of the culture and where the oldest person often pays for the meal, the conflict of interest situation is often present and makes many uncomfortable.
A writer for the Catholic Peace Weekly reminds the readers of the present situation in sections of Seoul where stores have closed because of the efforts to eradicate graft and bribery in society. This will also impact the farmers whose products will not find the way to the market.
Often to cure we cause pain. Overcoming problems in society require steps that will hurt but are considered necessary to bring justice and a level playing field. Bribery in Korea was part of the way business was done and a desire to put an end to this type of corruption has been present for many years and finally, a law was enacted but the adverse effects of the law have begun to show.
Last year with the implementation of the anti-graft law we have a slow down in many areas. Flower shops, farmers, restaurants see a drop in income because of the law.
The government does see the results are not helpful for the economy and we will probably see an increase in the money that may be spent for gifts and the price of meals, and gifts allowed to be given to public officials increased. However, the intention of the law was good but we need more than the external use of law to influence society and more the integrity of the person and a desire for virtuous living.
We all know that gifts should be gifts. We talk a lot about unconditional love, and similarly, gifts that are truly gifts are without strings attached: unconditional. Our educational programs should be interested in educating the virtuous man whose internal barometer can quickly distinguish between what is a gift and what is a bribe. Laws are necessary but so is an education in virtue.
The Catholic Times sponsored a conversation between Fr. Song and Fr.
Park, both with similar positions within Catholicism and
Protestantism vis a vis Ecumenicism. Fr. Song gave his ideas on the way
Catholicism sees the commemoration of the 500th Anniversary of the Protestant Reformation as did Fr. Park for the Protestant side.
Fr. Song mentions that
Catholics see the Reformation as a wound. The Reformation broke the
unity of the Catholic Church. However, even though the Protestants are
not returning to Catholicism the Church is not unilaterally blaming them
or taking pride in our strength. Catholicism, he says, shares part of the blame
for the break in unity.
Fr Park mentions from the
beginning there was not the division in Christianity. In the latter part
of the 4th Century when Christianity became the Empire's Religion the
Church began to consolidate itself. Eastern Christianity in the years
before and after the tenth century began to break away from Roman
Christianity and 500 years later the Protestant leave, making for the
big three divisions of Christianity.
The different
Protestant denominations, Fr. Park continues, need to see what
separates us from the teachings of Catholicism before the break,
examples would be the issue of justification, examining the teachings on
salvation, the place of tradition, and discover again the place of
Scripture and understanding the organizational setup.
These have been
the points of dispute and they need to be seen with our present day
insights. The different denominations have to determine if we have
correctly followed the insights of the Reformation. It is both a
commemoration and a self-examination. These are the two keywords for our
commemoration.
Fr. Song agrees with Fr. Park. The
commemoration should be more than remembering the Reformation.
Catholicism needs to continually reform to be the church that Jesus wanted. Need to face the divisions, and begin to talk with each
other, cooperate and look for what unites.
This is a
good time to get rid of our prejudices and understand how each of us
understands our different positions. For the Catholic, the Reformation
was a serious wound but it can also be an opportunity to understand the
why and the way we need to go as church.
The mission that we have at this time in history is to become one says Fr. Park, which means we need to talk and understand each other, this in truth has been going on for some time. In Europe the results have come out in books.
In
the States the Lutherans and Catholics have been talking since 1960.
Fr. Park makes clear that it is a long journey but in Korea we are
formed to be in a hurry.
Fr.Song agrees that to heal the division we need to travel a long journey. As with bad habits, it takes more time to get rid of them then to
form them.
Before the Second Vatican Council
(1962-1965) the Catholic Church was a lone ranger, triumphantly
disparaging Protestantism. However, the church has realized that it has
been sent to the world as a sign of joy of Gospel unity.
Today's situation is a tremendous obstacle to evangelization. Jesus' prayer: "That we all be one" from John 17-21 should always be the goal. We now see the Protestants as separated brothers and sisters.
Prejudices, and misunderstandings need to go. A need to pray together, and aim for the common good. Look for what unites us and accept the things that separate us to work towards unity.
One generation often finds understanding another difficult. We would like to have an objective standard that all would accept but it doesn't exist. A mother writing in a diocesan bulletin expresses her feelings in an area of life that needs to change but society is so intertwined, integrated with so many other areas that changing one thing changes everything.
The writer mentions watching her grandson and the animation cartoon he was viewing on TV. She saw enough of the cartoon to get the story line. Her six-year-old grandchild was watching an animated video of the destruction of the earth because of pollution in 30 years. The starring characters were going back in time in their mini cars to prevent this from happening. These mini cars are 'Turning Mecard' which transform into a toy robot. There are a whole series of them produced by the toy company.
The grandmother saw a number of these mini cars in the child's room and reprimanded her daughter for buying so many. The daughter told her mother that if her son doesn't keep up with the latest mini car he is not accepted by his friends, bullied and made fun of. So the mother's love for her child demands that she keep up with the latest mini car.
The grandmother doesn't understand why the society allows this to happen. When a new car comes out the mothers line up before the store from early in the morning to make sure they are able to buy the new car in the series before they sell out. The company also has videos with the cars tempting the children to buy them.
The cars are no bigger than a child's hand but cost more than 20 dollars. These toddlers are little angels, raised in a materialistic world with little else besides what they see with their eyes. Children should be given dreams and thoughts at this early age that will not disappear as they grow older.
She remembers lying on mats out side her house on warm evenings looking up at the sky. In her day they had no toys but they had fun finding things to do. Going to the river banks and catching small fish and putting them in jars. Parents need to have their children become acquainted with nature. She mentions the many things that the children can do to give them memories that will last a lifetime.
The toy company was having financial difficulty, losing money for a number of years and this was turned around with these mini cars. This is good for the economy. Consumerism, however, takes the mind off the more important things in life and reduces happiness to acquisition of material goods.
Without a change in our thinking and the system in which we live, parents and all the citizens will be living with this dilemma for many years to come.
From the first moments we enter this world, we fall in love: our first love. From the sixth month on, we recognize faces and we have human love. The baby knows she is loved and she continues to cultivate this emotional love.
A professor of psychology, in a Kyeongyang magazine article, introduces us to a mother's love which builds the world. Like all love one wants to be with the one loving and when separated the baby cries and is unhappy. When another face appears the baby is afraid. She wants to be with the mother, this is the way the first love enters our life.
This first love can be called attachment. When the baby is nestling in the bosom of the mother she is experiencing for the first time the emotion of love. All love leaves behind traces which influences us in life. It changes our attitudes in the way we see life.
Nobody enters the world because they wanted to. This first mutual relationship will nourish trust and become foundational. Trust gives the child confidence in the world in which she is born. However, there is the possibility that the child does not receive positive feedback from the feelings of attachment needed but rather a lack of trust in its surroundings and a feeling of isolation. This will appear later in the way the child relates to others.
They have seen the results in those who enter kindergarten. Those that were affirmed in their attachment are seen in relationship with their friends mixing easy and comfortable. They are helped in their ability to relate and the level of aggressiveness is low. This appears also in entering elementary school.
He uses the experiments by Harry Harlow, psychologist, who separated infant monkeys from their mothers after birth and raised them in another cage. They were given all the necessary food and drink but separated from the attachment to the mother and deprived of the mother's love. After 3 months they were put into a cage with other monkeys their age. In the beginning, frightened, they sat in a corner with their hands on their face. This would change gradually and they would associate but in time they became aggressive.
Harlow's experiments showed children who were raised in institutions instead of the home would have a higher degree of aggressiveness. Attachment to the mother influences the social gifts and emotional life.
This attachment has to be formed not only with the mother but with all those who come in contact with the child: father, grandfather, grandmother the nanny...they all need to build an attachment.
The professor concludes that in our society it is difficult for mothers who need to work to be the 'super moms' society wants. This fact often makes mothers feel guilty when the caring person is someone other than the mother.
In great part, the problem is a lack of interest in the nurturing of our infants in society. It's not giving the care of the child to another loving person but the guilt feeling of the mother which interferes with the forming of the attachment with the child. This is a reason society needs to take an interest in the nurturing of our young people for the good of society.
What is the object of education? This topic has many answers and we
know from our own experience that many of the things we learned were not
taught. Many of the things taught we did not learn or forgot. Parents are often
interested in educating for employment: a comfortable and respected
life. However, when we add Catholic to the word education we need to
have a different understanding.
Both Catholic weeklies
had articles on the new rector of a Catholic University and his
understanding of education. We have over 220, 4-year colleges in Korea,
and no Noble Laureates. With all these schools why do we have the highest
suicide rate of the OECD countries? The rector feels the reason for this
is our educational programs. We need to teach the dignity of each
person made to be happy.
Catholic education needs to
remember the Catholic part otherwise, we educate only for academic
excellence, worldly success.There is a need to form disciples.
Catholic
education has to be education of the whole person not only of the head
but also of the moral and physical. Catholic Education is not to make
Nobel Laureates, prepare government officials or teach how to make a million
dollars but to teach how to live life fully. Students need to be educated on
how to live a happy and fulfilled life.
Universities
started in 12 century Europe attached to religious houses. They began
with the ethos of Christianity. The foundational philosophy was the
love for humanity. Knowledge was given to us to grow as human beings and
the educational institutions were there to help.
In
the present reality we have a decrease of students, drop in the
population and unemployment. How to do we keep the schools
open? What is the solution to the impasse we face? He sees it with
learning, developing our human qualities and finding jobs.
Even
if it comes to closing the doors of the university we need to stress
the social teaching of the Church: common good, solidarity, and
subsidiarity.
Common Good is the total of social
conditions which allow people, either as groups or as individuals to
reach their fulfillment more completely and easily.
Solidarity is the idea that we are all
connected with all human beings. We belong to the world family and need
to be concerned for all, granted with different degrees.
Subsidiarity is the idea that problems need to be solved at the smallest and most
intimate level possible. If this is not possible then we go to another
higher level etc..
Schools are for students and not students for the
schools. We need to work together, share the difficulties, make schools what they are meant to do:
educate the head, heart and body.
Cain led his brother Abel out to the field and killed him. On his return, God asked him: "Where is your brother Abel?" In defiance and feigning ignorance answers: "I do not know, Am I my brother's keeper?" God lamenting: "Your brother's blood cries out to me from the soil!"
In the Catholic Peace Weekly column 'Word and Silence' the writer begins his meditation on the first two brothers of Scripture. Cain the oldest the farmer and Abel the shepherd. Out of jealousy, Cain kills his brother. Anger, dissatisfaction, dejection and rejection all came together to gives us the first killing in our history.
Cain and Abel can be read as the symbol of many things. Cain's disposition of anger, jealousy, disobedience, resistance, violence, murder, all showing his negativity. Abel, the opposite: virtuous, simple, both co-existing in our society. The victor is always Cain, with intrigue he will always be ahead of Abel. Descendants of Cain continue to grow. Abel didn't leave any progeny.
Darwin the founder of evolution did not find it easy to find an answer to a serious question. In the evolution of humanity the victor was always the strongest and selfish. How did humanity continue with the virtuous and altruistic in the tree of life? How was it that in the survival of the fittest the altruist and virtuous were not weeded out?
Darwin after much thought was able to give an answer. He went beyond the individual to the group. If you look at the groups separately you will find that the selfish individual will be on top but when you have different groups the results are different. The selfish group is not going to overcome the one with sacrifice and altruism.
This is the way Darwin expressed this: "A tribe including many members who, from possessing in a high degree the spirit of patriotism, fidelity, obedience, courage, and sympathy, were always ready to aid one another, and to sacrifice themselves for the common good, would be victorious over most other tribes; and this would be natural selection."
The tragedy of Cain and Abel we see repeated often in our world. In Roman mythology we have the twins Romulus and Remus, when they became adults founded Rome. They quarreled over the site and Romulus killed his brother Remus. In Roman history, we have in the Roman Royalty killing of relations frequently. In Islam history, we have this happening often with the Sultanate dynasties killing brothers or imprisoning them. In the Joseun Dynasty, we have inter-family fighting for the throne.
In Korea recently we have the unfortunate heir to the North Korean throne who has been wandering overseas for some years, assassinated. Considered to have been killed by his half-brother the present leader of North Korea. He has been known to have killed many of his rivals in government.
In the Scriptures we have the first family given birth to another son called Seth. He may have been a mixture of the two. He concludes the article by reminding us that we may be a mixture of Cain and Abel, the good with the bad. Cain's descendants may seem to be victors; Abel may seem to lose at times but with the continuation of the community life, love and grace will continue within the history of humanity.
The editors of a bulletin for priests recall a story they heard at a meeting some years ago of the Focolare Movement. (A movement following the inspiration of Jesus: 'May they all be one' respecting diversity and focusing on dialogue)
A young woman who attended one of these meetings tells the group of her difficulty in carrying out what she knew to be her calling as a Christian and how difficult it was to live that life.
One day she came across the words in the Scripture to love your enemy and meditated on the words. No one was an enemy but there were many who she did not like. One person, a senior in the company she worked, hurt her feelings and for some time they were avoiding each other. Yet she knew this was not the Christian thing to do.
She began to plan on how to remedy the situation. She hadn't greeted the person for some time so that was her first step. The next day on entering the office at work the first person she met was the individual she was going to greet, but as soon as they met, nothing came out of her mouth and the person quickly averted her eyes. To decide to love another is difficult but to put it into action is more difficult.
That night while praying she was not going to give up her desire to show love and the next day on her way to work and on the bus she kept mumbling to herself 'good morning, good morning' over and over again. That morning before she opened the door of the office she again repeated to herself: 'good morning'. Entering the office and seeing the person she very awkwardly uttered: "good morning!" The individual with a puzzled expression and bewildered acknowledged the greeting.
The next day she practiced again but this time it was much easier. She continued to make the effort to greet the person without much difficulty and gradually they began to speak.
One day when they were drinking coffee together they began to talk and the individual mentioned how they had been estranged for some time... "but thanks to you we are talking again"... The person was curious in knowing what prompted her to make the effort to return to the relationship they once had. I am a Christian and she needed to start living like one was her answer.
The incident is a very simple and common event in our lives. The editors mentioned this because it was an act of the will to overcome the emotions that paralyzed her. Feelings are difficult to overcome.
We live with many different people. We bicker, dislike, give and receive scars but to say sorry is difficult. We end up losing many acquaintances hurting and being hurt and slow in asking for forgiveness to heal the estrangement. To humbly lower ourselves and overcome our self-respect is a monumental task all necessary to find peace in our own hearts.
