The American futurist Jeremy Rifkin, in his book "The Age of Empathy" reminds us: 'Humans are basically a sympathetic species' recalling the history of humanity's loss of empathy in the civilization of competition and exclusivity. We need a new paradigm of empathy and networking that we have lost and need to regain. So begins an article by a seminary professor in the Catholic Times.
Empathy is not merely sympathizing with another, understanding with the mind another's feelings and situation. Rather it is to participate and share in the feelings and to want to become one in the experience of the other. He personally has come to use the word often and realized that in the last century humanity experienced exclusion, conflict and selfish greed making it difficult to practice living together with others harmoniously.
In the past, the traditional society rejected values and ways of life that were not passed down. Modern society does not reject the different and what one considers error but wants to engage with the other in dialog and cooperation.
This new spirit of empathy in society has a great effect on the sense of faith of the believers living in the community of faith. Our journey of faith is different, we have a sense of sin, suffering, love and hate, wounds inflicted and conscious of the world's deception in moving us towards death: determined to seek freedom, peace, joy, holiness which is no different from others.
Our spiritual senses, in daily life, naturally go in search of what feels good, doing what is beneficial is done repeatedly and becomes second nature, a virtuous act. Helps me make the right decision in life and reinforces my intuition and makes it grow.
Isn't this what happens with those who read the Scriptures, attend the liturgy with joy, and enjoy praying alone? They will take the difficult tasks in the parish, spend time with the community, look for ways of being of service. This is because they are at peace internally and experience joy in their life.
Not all believers, however, express this sense of faith. There are those who do not go along with the expression of the faith of others and prefer to discriminate instead of empathizing."I am different from them," individuality and interest become predominant and in community, complaints become commonplace. It's not easy to accept differences whether from a feeling of superiority or inferiority.
In society, we have the explosion of conflict on the international scene instead of a desire for coexistence with dialogue and consensus. What is true in society is also found within the church community. We are a spiritual community led by the Holy Spirit if we are to be a sign of joy to the world then in our Christian communities we need to develop a spirit of sympathy and cooperation.
A mature community needs to develop and to experience this life of faith if we are to be a leaven in society. Is this not what Pope Francis wants to see in our communities, where God's people testify to the gospel and become a community of communication and fellowship and light and salt to the world?
"Once bullied you will come to your senses!" This is a statement that comes from the past. A professor at a university writes in the Kyeongyang magazine about exclusion from a group and a just society. He mentions a younger student at the graduate school he was attending who was always smiling and liked by all his seniors.
At the end of the year, new students entered the graduate school and the popular young student had juniors under him. One of the entering students was not following the norm of the graduate school and his individuality stood out among the students. The popular student addressed the new student with some harsh words on his strange behavior which changed the atmosphere of the graduate school.
In our structured society taking circumstances into consideration and admonishing and criticizing is a common procedure when persons do their own thing and don't understand the atmosphere. This is an attempt to discipline them to join the group. It's no big deal. This is the reality not only in schools but in the military and the workplace.
The one being bullied knows there is a reason for the bullying and is slow to make it known and those who join in the bullying have a reason to justify it.
A special word is used for bullying in Korea which did not make its appearance until the 1990's although other expressions were always present. The professor wants us not to use the ambiguous word but to express what is being done by calling it 'violence' towards the person and 'ostracizing' the person.
In the last section of the article, he tells the readers that our society is cruel to those that don't follow the crowd and show this by disciplining the person. Consequently, persons who are different find it difficult to exist within a group and are left out in the cold.
In Korea, there is yet to be a Nobel Laureate in the sciences and he feels that one of the reasons is the way the culture continues to level the playing field. Those who stand out in the crowd for one reason or another are considered to be unlucky and odd balls. They find it difficult to continue being who they are.
Those who have changed the world in which we live have been creative thinkers and have done things differently from others and were considered 'unfortunate persons' but in the long run, have helped the larger society to which they belong.
Creativity is a personal quality but also a gift to society. When people in this mold are allowed to live like everybody else we will have a just society.
This year was the 25th year of the formal beginning of the Small Christian Communities in Korea. The movement had already been incorporated in parishes but the Seoul diocese was the first diocese to make it part of their pastoral planning.
Last year a questionnaire was given to a number of the participants to find ways to improve and examine the reality of what has happened.This has been done before but this is the first time they have made an in-depth study. The results of the study have been reported in both Catholic Weeklies, much space was devoted to the survey and the results.
The Small Christian Community movement was imported from South America. The four elements of community: fellowship, sharing the word of God, prayer and service all have their place.
The results of the survey showed a need to adapt it to the life in the city. A symposium on the results proposed the meeting of different age groups and different interests groups but the fear of dividing the community was strongly expressed. The younger groups have shown a decrease in attendance and the elderly have increased.
Comparing those who participated in the monthly or weekly meetings and those who did not, in most cases there was a difference in the participation in parish life. Participants were more active in difficult works, more active in church activities, read the Scriptures more often, and had a better understanding of the liturgical year. More interested in the poor, helping others, and helping financially, however, the difference was slight.
The issue that was noticed and commented on was the lack of interest in social matters where those who did not attend the weekly or monthly meeting showed a higher interest in social concerns, although this was only a minimal difference. This was unsettling in what it was saying to the diocese. The church has not been living the teachings of the Second Vatican Council.
Materialism, individualism, and worldliness has influenced the church greatly. The Holy Spirit has been with the movement and in the years ahead efforts will be expended to make it a leaven for the whole church community.
Crisis are opportunities for change. It takes time to change our physical condition so also the change for the better in the small community meetings. By a process of trial and error this will improve. The problems discovered will be the fertilizer that will help the movement to improve.
Even if it's only temporary there is a restaurant that makes all the patrons happy. One may order a hamburger and get ravioli, order noodles and get pork cutlet. It's a strange restaurant, a university professor in a diocesan bulletin introduces the readers to a restaurant known in Japan, absurd as it sounds: 'meal order mistakes in abundance' restaurant. Consequently when ordering it is wise to not expect to get what you ordered.
The reason is that waiting on the tables are 6 grandmothers who work part-time in the restaurant. All 6 have different degrees of Alzheimer's disease to contend with. When they take the orders, an everyday occurrence is not remembering the order and returning with something the patron did not order.
However, there are no patrons who are angry at the mistakes that are made. Like a child, the patrons have a good laugh and try to explain to the grandmothers what the mistake was and in the process, enjoy communicating with the grandmothers.
Patrons wait to see what kind of meal will come from the kitchen and the grandmothers rather than afraid of the mistakes made are given the courage to continue in their work.
The restaurateur began the work wanting to change the thinking and the prejudice towards those with dementia. His efforts have done much to attain his goal.
Without any provocation, often over some small mistake, we have many who are not able to accept the inconveniences that result. We are exposed to a warlike atmosphere over trifles, we have persons going for the collars of another to assuage their so-called grievance. The professor would like to see more of these 'meal order mistakes in abundance' restaurants appear in many of our towns and villagers.
He concludes the article with a wish that many of our weak and marginalized citizens would find a place in these type of restaurants were all could spend time together in a joyous atmosphere of acceptance.
Exclusion is the strongest where contact is the least: an easy way to understand some of the problems we have in society. We have social exclusion often of migrant workers, persons with disabilities, some racial exclusion and many other ways we fail to go out to the alienated in our society. How to multiple contacts and communication with the marginalized is a goal of a healthy society.
In a poem by Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956) a university professor gives us her meditation on his words in an article for the Kyeongyang magazine. A literal translation of the poem from Korean: " I know that it was only good fortune on my part that I lived longer than my friends. Last night in a dream I heard the voices of my friends. 'The strong are the ones who live.' Thereupon I hated myself."
During Nazism and Hitler's hold on Germany, he exiled himself from his home country of Germany. This poem was censored in Korea during the dictatorship which ended in 1988. The young people in Korea during the dictatorship recited often these lines of the poem, experiencing a feeling of guilt for not suffering the pain of others.
The professor recalls the suffering experienced by Brecht which came from his own history. She also remembers the suffering of many in Korea and the debt that we have towards them. We may not have the sorrow that Brecht had for the past but it is part of our history and are content and satisfied being alive. However, we are faced with another war like situation, with which for the most part we are ignorant.
She remembers a student in her class who with cancer is paralyzed from the waist down. How are we to understand this? "Are you going to die right away?" No, she tells the young man to do everything possible to fight against the sickness but she is filled with regret and sorrow.
Recently we have heard about abuse of servicemen by their commanding officers. The strong oppressing the weak is something we are familiar with. But many who perpetrate this violence see it as necessary to maintain order in society and the right they have from their position. A politician's sexual harassment on the golf course was dismissed by him as just some friendly pats that he would use with his daughter and granddaughters. What allows this kind of violence against the weaker elements of society?
Not important to select a few of these abuses of the weaker members of society for it enters into all the facets of our life. We kowtow to the strong in society and turn to the weaker ones and act similarly. A fact of life, and is it not the reason many strive with all their energy to become strong in society? They don't want to be neglected.
However, our dignity does not come from our rank in society. Where do we stand? Are we satisfied with little victories, and become filled with pride and become depressed with failures? Do we compare ourselves with others, see the different ranks in society and desire to be part of the elite? Why is pain so often the lot of the weak and marginalized?
A healthy embarrassment comes when we take upon our self the sacrifice, the tears, and sadness of the weak of society. We need to identify with those pushed to the sides. If we are not to be shamed with disgrace we have to keep our eyes wide open and look around us. We must see and see again whether or not the exercise of legitimate power takes place over the wounds of others. Reflecting on the life that we live is making us fully alive, and we will be living with less shame.
In Matthew's gospel 16:13, Jesus asks his disciples: "Who do people say the Son of Man is?" A priest writing for the Bible Life magazine from this question asks the readers: Who are we and what kind of world do we want to build? Religion gives us the answer to these two questions.
In John's gospel, he tells Mary Magdalen to tell the disciples: "I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God." We are all God's children. In Matt. 6:48, Jesus raises our dignity: "You must, therefore, be perfect just as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Buddhism and Confucianisms both have a similar teaching. They also have a spirituality. Everybody is of great value and possess dignity, a teaching of all religions. However, in our daily lives, we see discrimination and unfair treatment of others. We can't help but ask why this discrepancy from what we know to be true. This whole area of discussion is complicated but we have a responsibility to examine the reason for the ambiguity we face. Over 120 years ago both Buddhism and Confucianism were rebuked precisely on this point.
The writer mentions the English world traveler Isabella Bird Bishop who visited Korea in 1894 and in a period of 4 years traveled widely within the country and wrote Korea and Her Neighbors. In her book, she wrote: "In Korea, we have two classes, the plunderers and the plundered. The nobles and bureaucrats are vampires who have the license within society, four-fifths of the citizen are members of the lower class, commoners. The lower classes are to supply blood for the noble classes." According to this foreigner, the king and nobles divided society into higher and lower. A peaceful mandate, which would maintain the status quo and their privileges, despite the harm to the greater society.
During this time Buddhism and Confucianism were inconsistent. Catholicism was busy building churches and looking down on the royal house from their high knolls. During this difficult time, there was one philosophy that was progressive and this was Tonghak. ( 'Eastern Learning' a nationalistic, syncretic religion that opposed Western culture and wanted social reform and the equality of all the citizens).
These were miserable times but many valued the presence of God within and if we accepted the presence of heaven within us we would have a brand new world order. Tonghak taught that we need to help one another whether one was wealthy or poor. When we have many doing this we will have heaven on earth. No reason for war and killings we can make a society without prejudice, without receiving or giving wounds, we will have a world of saints. We need not wait for a heaven after death but we will have it here on earth. These were the words of a leader of Tonghak to his daughter before being executed.
The desire of putting the spirit of the Tonghak movement into the preamble of the new Korean constitution is heated. The leaders of the movement are praised and thanked for their efforts for independence and a new order: hundreds of thousands died for these ideas and a desire to give support to the movement for their sacrifice to the nation. The first leader of the movement left four Chinese characters for his first disciple which asked him to fly high and far and spread the teaching of the movement.
The writer concluded the article asking the readers
during the month of October, the mission month, to
fly high and far to spread the goodness of God to the whole world.
One of the strange realities of life is the lack of education for the most important events in our lives. Catholics are required to attend a course of instructions before marriage but it's very short.
In the Catholic Peace Weekly a woman who began a school in teaching about love, remembers that before her own marriage she spent only 4 hours in preparation and she believes it should be for a least a semester. Looking back on her own experience before marriage she decided to begin her school for communication and healing-- Love School. She is interviewed by a journalist for the paper.
The divorce rate continues to rise and even among the couples who have lived together for many years. Divorce is not contemplated but many marriages are not happy. She had for 8 years given talks on marriage and met many married couples and was familiar with their concerns and concluded that if they were to love correctly they would have the solution to many of their difficulties. She spent time preparing the course and will begin this month.
How does one go about loving? Sweethearts, couples and family members can leave scars in their encounter with the other. They express love for the other and at the same time, out of their mouth they spit out poisonous words. Isn't this because they have not learned what is happening in the encounter with the other? The reason for our writer to begin her school for communication and healing.
In the program, the participants will spend a great deal of time learning about themselves. Examine one's tendencies. How does one express what is going on inside, what are the feelings and how to express them and to practice how to make a request and say no. We need to know our hearts and bodies if we are to love. 'Love another as we love our self' but we understand this in our own way. For many, it calls for loving the other more than oneself. She maintains this is not loving but a sacrificial act.
The interviewer asked what did she think was the biggest problem between lovers. Thinking that they are loving was her answer. The male thinks it is by doing something for the loved one but the loved one has no desire for what was given. This is a common event between lovers. The female by talking feels she will achieve pleasing the other. Each fails to understand the other.
She was asked what did she believe was Jesus' understanding of love? M.Scott Peck, in The Road Less, Traveled defined love thus: "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." She gives the example of not caring for a fish meal but eating it on occasions for the other. This extends me for the other. This is not forcing oneself but doing it willingly for the other and for one's personal growth in virtue. This is what love is. Not using the other, controlling or using the other as an accessory for that is not love.
