A proud person doesn't know he is proud and in most cases doesn't care, consequently, no reason to seek a cure. A seminary professor in the Kyeongyang magazine says in his article, this person is difficult to help. One needs to have an understanding of what pride is for results.
A close connection exists between the degree of understanding we have of the influence of pride on behavior and the efforts to overcome the problem. Knowing how pride shows itself and its cost are beneficial in overcoming the habit. When we determine that the cost of pride is greater than the benefits the motivation to overcome the habit is present.
The external effects of pride:neglect,vanity, boasting, lying and the like are the negatives; seeking support and recognition, overcoming a sense of inferiority and gaining confidence are all goods that may be achieved by other means.
A feeling of inferiority is not always a bad thing. Alfred Alder the Austrian psychiatrist stressed that the reason for the many success stories in life comes from a feeling of inferiority, it's a great motivator. Pride comes from little understanding of the self; many misunderstand the ideal self for the real self.
Psychology does present us with ways to understand the self. First, in counseling or psychological testing. Secondly, new activities, interests, and initiating new encounters with others. Thomas Aquinas is quoted as saying beware of the person with one book. He thinks he knows it all and is more dangerous than those who don't read. It is good to read within your area of interest but also to approach other special areas to realize that our interests are narrow. Thirdly, we need the time for introspection. What have today's incidents, encounters and available time taught us? What knowledge have we added to what we know?
Confession is an opportunity to see ourselves as we are objectively.We gaze upon ourselves in the presence of God but also at the same time with the mercy and love of God.
J. Taylor the Anglican Bishop said that humility is not something easily understood outside of Christianity. Knowing oneself contains what is meant by humility. It is the cure for pride and the results of knowing oneself. However, it is not a passive or unconditional lowering ourselves by duress.
Easily do we confuse true and false humility. False humility is influenced by the inferiority complex while true humility is not. False humility develops from a low respect for the self, a true humility comes from a healthy self-respect and courage.
True humility can accept criticism and doesn't put others down, nor blame others for what they lack. A truly humble person knows oneself in the presence of God.
"Don't be a nuisance to others," words addressed to the young Japanese children by their parents. Unfortunately, in
Korea, we have an increase of 'no kids zone' —places that parents need not discipline their children. If children are allowed to follow
their bliss will they as adults be
free and happy? Is this the way to authentic freedom and happiness? An
article in the Catholic Weekly introduces this question by a priest
college professor.
In
modern society, individual freedom and rights are becoming more and
more important than traditional values and practices. The
World Value Survey from the late 1990s shows that Korean parents
are more concerned with autonomy of the child: self determination
according to individual standards but for the professor, autonomy
implies morality, principles and norms. Individualism that lacks
morality will have a negative impact on the human community.
Individualism is spreading in a culture that pursues survival because of
the uncertainty and the pressures of a rapidly changing international
situation and a financial recession.
In
a capitalist society, freedom allows one to enjoy life in proportion to
the amount of money one possesses. From a Christian point of view,
freedom gives direction and purpose to life. In other words the
question in Christian freedom: freedom from— and freedom to—. Freedom
is for what?
In
Korean society, Confucian hierarchy and status coexists within a
patriarchal culture; unreasonable and narrowness of outlook are
widespread. Resistance to repressive 'external authority' is a
sign of today's age. We Christians should read these signs, protect the
freedoms and rights of the underprivileged, and respect individuals as
personalities that are part of the living organism, not appendages.
On
the other hand, humans need deep prayer, reflection, and deeds to free us from disorderly desires that can dominate us. Even
though we may appear to be free on the surface we may be slaves of
unconscious desires. We
are all sinners who are easily trapped in a self-centered life
(individualism), but are invited to the journey of conversion and
rebirth in God's mercy and grace. Furthermore,
we need greater freedom to move towards happiness
that leads to "loving God and loving our
neighbors," without permitting the consumer
society to control us.
Resurrection is the invitation of the living Lord who wants our lives to be truly full. The message of the Resurrection presents us with a way of life. In the paschal journey we die to ourselves so we can grow as
Christians, a pilgrimage that goes beyond individualism to true
freedom and happiness.
The priest professor finishes the article mentioning the book With God in Russia a
memoir by Walter Ciszek (1904—1984) an American Jesuit priest. With
all the trials and suffering he endured he testifies that he had an
indescribable peace and happiness from God when all his strength was
crushed during his years in prison. Our wills, self-love, and
attachments make it difficult to receive the fruit of happiness but the more efforts to please God the greater our love and graces of freedom and true happiness. St. Augustine said: "Love
and do what you want."
In the past 12 months, 20.3% of the boys and 30.3% of the girls have
been saddened or dejected enough to stop their daily lives for a period
of two weeks. 9.4% of boys and 15.0% of girls thought seriously of
suicide. These words begin an article in the Catholic Times reviewing a
survey made over the past year of our young people by the Korean Disease
Control and Prevention Agency conducted on 60,000 middle and high
school students nationwide.
Depression that predominantly
appeared in adults in the past now also occurs in children and
adolescents.This is especially true in April and May after the start of
the new semester because they can't adjust to the new school
environment. Stress increases because of study or bullying.
Depression
also called the 'cold of the mind' is a chronic illness of all
generations in the modern world. In adolescents, it is easy to overlook
their symptoms because of puberty. They need special attention as it can
lead to suicide if the cognitive development does not proceed and the
depression not treated.
Experts say that adolescent
depression has multiple causes: family history, school, friends, social
culture and economic situation and developmental problems. Many
symptoms are not understood and not recognized as depression. It's
important to understand the psychological state of the young people and
to look at their behavior.
When a child says " I don't want
to go to school," most parents just take this as ordinary child's talk
and take little notice of the malaise the child feels. They need to
concern themselves with the change of behavior at this time.
A
Salesian priest in his doctrinal dissertation identified the mutual
relationship between stress, spirituality and life satisfaction in
institutional youth. He stressed that spirituality or religion affects
the stress and depression of adolescents. The greater the spirituality
of the young the less the depression and stress. The young people should
be helped to meet with others and to resolve their desires with sharing and
activities. In his doctoral dissertation, he also identified the mutual
relationship between stress, spirituality, and life satisfaction in
children in student establishments.
Mild symptoms of depression may be
resolved by parental care but counseling and medication may be needed in
serious situations. There are many counseling centers available that
provide help with family conflict, problems with friendship,
interruption of schooling, runaways, internet addiction, career and
academic problems. The internet is a valuable asset if you press '1388' you can consult at any time.
Korea has recently had some serious accidents with the loss of many lives not unique in world news. We are all prone to accidents as we go along with our lives. How did this happen? Why me? Why this great loss? Questions we ask ourselves and desire answers.
In a diocesan bulletin, a priest reminisces on the big and small accidents happening all around us and introduces the readers to the Heinrich Law a statistical rule: 1: 29: 300. From the data that Heinrich studied he proposed that for every major injury there are 29 minor ones and 300 accidents with no injury. More than an exact study he was giving us a rule of thumb that for every serious accident we are preparing for it by 29 minor accidents and 300 mistakes that do not cause problems but could have.
Herbert Heinrich was an engineer who worked for an insurance company and taught at a university who made a study of industrial accidents and proposed his rule. There is a relationship between the number of accidents of a similar type and their severity. Reducing the most common incidents we can call unsafe acts, reduces the frequency of minor injuries and will reduce the number of severe injuries.
If we were more alert in examining the causes of the 'accidents' (incidents) we encounter daily and prepare counter-measures we would avoid in a great part the minor and major injuries that we see so often. This was true of the serious accidents that we recently experienced in Korea. Signs of imminent problems were ignored and only discovered after the accidents and loss of life.
This is readily seen in our daily lives when we make mistakes and don't bother with analyzing the reasons and repeatedly do the same thing with the same results. It's only when we repent seeing the damage done that change for the better results. When we put something on the stove and forget and find the whole meal destroyed, often repeated unless steps are taken to remove the causes.
These mistakes happen in our spiritual life for we do not take the necessary safety precautions. He mentions the example of one who goes to Sunday Mass but finds it boring and without meaning. This continues and he begins to miss a few times and then he finds it to his liking and forgets that he was given signs of this future drift away from the life he once considered important.
In the spiritual life when we don't experience God's love, find joy, have an aversion to prayer, the Sacraments and the community, they are warning signs that something is amiss and we need to be concerned. These may be considered some of the 300 incidents or rather minor problems that have no immediate serious results but also remind us that we need to do something to prevent serious results from happening.
Korea, according to a Catholic Peace Weekly columnist, is now at the height of conflict and struggle in progressive efforts for democracy more so than during the period of democratization in the 1980s.
Recently the attachment to politics and economics has been weakened and the human right's ship has been launched on the high seas. The 'Me Too Movement' has witnessed the testimony of victims who have been frustrated and hurt by the strong in society: power and money. What had to come has come. It was a public secret everybody knew.
We accepted so much in the culture, in the world of art and films which embraced a great deal of violence. We began to doubt the value of the celebration of the world of art and its sublimation for what we saw behind the scenes.
One of the famous actors in the recent exposure in the film industry has said we are all perpetrators, victims, and bystanders. This story does not only apply to the film industry. The essence of this struggle is not sexual confrontation. It is not just a matter of sexual violence but the resistance against this violence that our society knew and pretended not to know. When a person is being violated and we pretend not to know, is this not violence and a crime?
Respect for life requires that we prevent this kind of violence and work to bring healing. The price that Korea had to pay to live in freedom was steep. War brought great havoc, starvation, and cruelty and we overcame this to become a wealthy country. Love for material goods is not what is important but a country where our lives have worth and we are happy.
We need to teach and learn. Mathematics and English are important, but life skills are more urgent and important. How important is the teaching of life skills to our school children in Korea? It should be an independent subject and provide opportunities for the students to experience this type of living.
From a child to an adult, what are the desirable ways of expressing interpersonal relationships, how to communicate without hurting each other, how to avoid being a victim of violence, accept responsibility and act courageously? The ability to critically appraise the diverse media and content that is emerging each day must also be developed. We must teach how to protect ourselves. It's not dangerous to mistake an English word, but when we don't control our anger, fail to respect others, and accept the media unconditionally, the community we belong to is wounded, and we suffer. The violence present in society, will not be cured by exposure and punishment.
Let 's make a course called' Life Skills' and 'Life Study' for future generations living in Korea. Eliminating deep-rooted violence should begin with education in the respect for life.
Korea like many other countries of the world has an ongoing confrontation between the pro-abortion and pro-life groups in society. Recently the pro-abortion group has petitioned the government to abrogate the law against abortion and allow the drug Mifegyne to be sold in Korea to terminate pregnancy. They received more than 200,000 signatures. The government responded they will conduct a survey.
The bishops began a nationwide drive for signatures against the abrogation of the law and within two months passed over one million. The UN Human Rights Council has recommended that across the world they repeal laws that criminalized and unduly restrict abortion.
A parish priest writing in the Catholic Times on the issue mentions the church has long seen abortion as a killing of the fetus. Women are now promoting self-determination and see it in opposition to the right of the fetus to life. Many believers rather than accepting the teaching of the church see this as a matter of choice. Clear evidence of the weakening of the church's influence on the members.
The changing times invalidates the church's essentialist approach to abortion writes the priest. The slogan of abortion as murder is no longer effective today. The church should be concerned with a culturalist approach that focuses on a way of life. An attitude that emphasizes the relationship and process of love in which the pregnant woman and the fetus interact in the womb, from an initiative of their separate lives.
The controversy over birth or abortion focuses only on the consequences of life, and there is little concern for the whole process of life as a human being within the womb. He mentions the movie "Juno" (2007) which shows a new way of seeing the process of life in the womb and not only the outcome of life outside the womb. The 16-year-old girl, Juno has sex with her boyfriend and is unexpectedly found to be pregnant. When she goes for help she is told the child has fingernails at this stage of growth and she decides against abortion. She was helped to make the decision because of the environment in which she found herself.
Juno frankly told her parents of her pregnancy. The parents weren't pleased but accepted the pregnancy and went along with what the daughter wanted and was beside her during the process of having the baby adopted and the hospital calls. The boyfriend stayed with his girlfriend during this time knowing they were too young to be parents.They found a couple to adopt the child. There was a center to which Juno could go for information and advice during the pregnancy.
The Seoul diocese has a program for pregnant mothers to help them during their period of pregnancy. They are told of ways to communicate with the fetus and to appreciate the mystery of life and how to interact with the new life within them.
The priest mentioned a program that he saw on TV in which a 7-year-old girl gave an amazing pansori (Korean genre of musical storytelling performed by a singer and a drummer) performance. The mother who likes traditional Korean music while she was pregnant provided the music in the education of the fetus.This shows clearly, he says, how prenatal care affects the baby.
Pregnancy is an important time for the physical, emotional and cognitive development by providing a good environment for the fetus. More important, however, is that pregnant women interact with the fetus to develop the ability of the fetus, to establish the identity of the parents, and to begin to build attachment by sharing meaning between the parents and the fetus. Therefore, it is necessary for the church to strengthen and widely spread this teaching as one of the alternatives for protecting the life and cultivating a culture of life.
A well dressed middle aged women shopping in a clothing department of a large department store, waved her fist in front of the face of an employee and finally struck her on the cheek. The employee holds her cheek while the woman customer continues raising her voice and her behavior getting worse. This kind of behavior is given a new word in Korean called "Gap" behavior. In a diocesan bulletin, the writer tells the readers of how this behavior is far from rare.
'Gap' is a term used in contracts in which the employer is 'Gap' and the employee is 'Eul'. 'Gap' describes the behavior of those who in a superior position treat people below them in a mean way. A famous example of this was an executive of an airline who was on board a plane in first class and ordered the captain of the plane to head back to the gate because she was upset with the way the flight attendant treated her.
The numbers of these kinds of incidents are many: acting arrogantly with others who are in a lower social position, economic situation, or power. The continuing #me too movement calling out the sexual harassment and violence that are newsworthy events these days is a form of assault by the 'Gaps' in society.
Those who have suffered under the 'Gaps' often feel great contempt, shame, doubt about their worth and at times bring about death from their own hands. This kind of 'Gap' behavior is a killing of the personality. A problem is that it's not only the lack of virtue on the part of the 'Gap' but also the social structures that allow this to happen.
We celebrate tonite the Easter Vigil and the death and resurrection of Jesus who suffered at the hands of the 'Gaps' of the world of his time. Jesus was their scapegoat for all the evils they saw and felt better for it at the expense of truth and honesty. We deceive ourselves rather easily, for often we fear the truth. Christians, readily see the irony of the death of Jesus on the Cross.
This 'Gap' behavior is a deep-seated evil which we need to work to eradicate in every possible way. This was the attitude that Jesus showed us in being on the side of the weak and suffering. So what are we to do? We should look at our own behavior and check to see if we have acted like the 'Gaps' we excoriate and have the right to throw stones at the 'Gaps' of the world.
