Understanding the Introvert

What questions do you ask when you meet someone for the first time? A question often asked these days is probably: "What is your MBTI?" (Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator). This is the question that begins the Sunday Chat column in the Catholic Times by a Psychological Counselor.

Although it may be absurd to understand a person holistically using a framework categorized into 16 categories, the popularity of MBTI is welcomed if you see it as an attempt to understand another person.  

The columnist feels that her perception of the first letters of the MBTI type classification, I and E, which distinguishes the attitude of responding to the environment as Introversion and Extroversion, is different from before. In the past, introverted people were sometimes seen with negative connotations, shy or timid, and mentioned as a personality that needed to be improved or changed for a smooth social life, but now they are understood with an innate temperament and treated as such. 

Compared to extroverts, introverts feel uncomfortable in situations where they have to demonstrate social skills and often feel awkward when many eyes are focused on them. Because the direction of psychological energy is directed inward, introverts often find the ‘broad and diverse interactions’ that extroverts like to be daunting, and prefer  ‘a small number of intimate relationships’. Therefore, there is often a misunderstanding, that introverts like to be alone and do not like interacting with people. However, as an introvert herself, she assures us that introverts also like people, a lot. However, she prefers individual, close, one-on-one interactions, not multiple people at once. While extroverts are building-wide networks, introverts may be busy forming a smaller number but deeper relationships.

Recently, she hosted a meeting where introverts were the main focus. It’s called ‘Introverts' Secret Brunch’. A thought came to her as she received inquiries from people who wanted to participate in a support group but were hesitant due to anxiety about unfamiliar situations. ‘Let’s just get together with introverts!’ The condition for participation is that you must be an introvert. Ten minutes before the meeting was to start, the quiet tension as each person cautiously entered the room was enough to make her sweat. Then an idea occurred to her. ‘Oh, we’re all introverts.’ She let go of having someone speak up first and naturally faced silence.

So, how did our meeting go? We introverts, who do not open our mouths hastily and are considerate of each other and observe the atmosphere, naturally join in the conversation at our own pace. Before she knew it, she had put down the bag she was holding sat back against the chair, sipped her coffee, and ate the cookies, getting comfortable, and our time was filled with warmth, well over 3 hours.

For the first time in a while, we had a comfortable, slow conversation, and it became deeper and more fulfilling. Introverts also need communication. Maybe even more so than others, she doesn't know. They want to communicate, many environments in this society do not wait for introverts until they are ready, so this desire is often frustrated and suppressed. She wants to create a space where people can freely express their desires and hopes that introverts will be more understood and accepted in our society and that our understanding of others will deepen.

What Makes Us Happy?

In the View From the Ark of the Catholic Times a Religious Sister gives the readers a meditation on her experience from the Philippines many years ago but it still remains fresh in her thoughts.

Payatas in the Philippines was called the Garbage Mountain. This landfill was located not far from downtown Manila and was formed into a huge trash mountain. [This site was permanently closed in December 2017. and in 2023 was developed into an urban park for cycling]

The people who gathered here in the past lived by picking up trash from this mountain. As long as they could eat and walk, everyone, whether children or the elderly, went to the garbage mountain to pick up trash to help make a living. 

Years ago with welfare center employees, she had an 'on-the-spot field experience' in Payatas. She picked up trash, ran programs with children, and experienced life with them. We were invited to stay overnight with one family, like a homestay, but there wasn't enough food or water to wash. This was even more so when it came to sleeping. For this family of 9, one room was all they had.

In this small space, was a shabby bed (for the grandmother) that had been picked up and repaired from the mountains and a plastic rug. Even in this environment, what was truly surprising was the simple, happy laughter of the family as they gave everything they had to welcome the guests. My whole body was covered in dust from digging through trash all day, and my hands and face were stained with sweat. She couldn't wash properly due to the lack of water, but with the smiles and laughter of the family who held out their hands and welcomed her, she felt that she had everything in the world at that moment. 

The children and their families, wearing t-shirts and shorts with holes in them, forgot that they were hungry. The children and their families let us know the happiness that exists, filling everything they lack with the laughter that never disappears.

The next day, during Mass at the church, the hymn ‘Like a child having fun’ came to mind. Mass filled with children, the excited sounds of participation from children shouting “Me, me” in response to the priest’s questions, the rhythm of the children’s restless voices, the hymns, even though the pitches were different, the sound was like blessings pouring from the sky. She met Jesus in these poor children.

The desire to have everything in the world, perhaps the desire to have it all, but more often than not, we are unable to satisfy even a small fraction of our desires. So even though happiness is just around the corner, we cannot feel it and live our lives longing for it. However, the children of Payatas did not say that they had a lot of happiness and learned a lot, but they gave her a gift that reminded her that a person who knows how to be satisfied with even small things, that person, is happy. 

She was finally able to recognize the happiness that lay deep within her heart.  When will she be able to help others discover the Jesus that is within us? It still remains a big task. 

The next time she goes to the Philippines for a conference, she'll make a plan to go see the children who helped her realize where happiness comes from and where it is. They will not be the children that she met back then...

Religions In Korea

The Catholic Website Here and Now has an article by a theologian with a doctorate from Sogang University. He gives the readers his understanding of the religious situation here in Korea in recent years. One of his books is The Saint Next Door. 

Those who choose a religion in Korea do not concentrate on one specific religion but tend to choose from among various religions. The religion with the highest social trust would monopolize new members, but this does not happen. Although the situation has changed recently, Catholicism always ranked first among Korean religions in social trust (the most trustworthy religion in Korean society) until 10 years ago. There was always a large gap with second place. At this time, although Catholicism was not a monopoly, it gained more believers than other competing religions. 

According to a recent survey, Catholicism has been ranked second in social trust, behind Buddhism, for several years. Although it is a small difference, it feels like a world away from 10 years ago. However, Catholicism still surpasses Buddhism in the number of converts. Protestantism has always had the lowest credibility among the three major religions but has gained the most believers. So why does this happen

There are over 250 religions in Korea. Among these, Protestantism, Buddhism, and Catholicism account for 98% of the total religious population. In terms of religious affiliation, the order is Protestantism, Buddhism, and Catholicism. This Protestant supremacy has never changed since 1907. However, the fact that Buddhists outnumber Catholics has become unclear, at least after the 2015 population census. Before that, there was no need to doubt this as many surveys showed that Buddhist believers were greater than Protestants and Catholics combined. However, since 2015, the proportion of Buddhist believers has fallen to less than half of the religious population. 

In any case, Koreans choose and join different religions regardless of the results of the ‘popularity vote’ (social trust survey). This trend has not changed at least since the religious survey was conducted. Therefore, researchers like us see this as a result of the preferences of converts. Of course, when choosing a religion, those wishing to join are influenced by the results of the popular vote, but most follow their own preferences.

Over the 1,700 years of Buddhism, 240 years of Catholicism, and 140 years of Protestantism, each religion has interacted with Koreans and formed its own unique image. Of course, the doctrine had a great influence here. In particular, it greatly influenced the external appearance of buildings, worship styles, clothing, and the behavior of believers. Relationships with state power and social behavior patterns also influenced non-believers in forming images of the religion. All of these factors combined to create social trust (and image) in the religion. This difference is clearly evident in the reasons why converts chose the religion in question.

Looking at the survey results corresponding to these reasons, it is clear that Koreans have a taste for religion. People who prefer Buddhism dislike Protestantism, and people who prefer Protestantism dislike both Buddhism and Catholicism. Relatively speaking, one dislikes Buddhism more than Catholicism. People who choose Buddhism have an affinity with Catholicism. Conversely, people who choose Catholicism prefer Buddhism over Protestantism. These clear tastes of Koreans have prevented the monopoly of certain religions.

People who like Buddhism cite openness as the reason for choosing Buddhism. Regardless of affiliation, 'it doesn’t matter if you believe in it with your heart, and it’s good not to say that other religions are wrong'. However, perhaps because of a weak sense of belonging, the number of believers fluctuates wildly every time\ surveys are conducted. People who choose Protestantism say: ‘I like the bright and cheerful atmosphere.’ I also prefer a tight believer management method. At least on the outside, it seems that an atmosphere that welcomes new believers is helpful to beginners. Those who prefer Catholicism highly value the solemn and holy atmosphere and active service to the Great Society. In particular, those who prefer Catholicism tend to view the lightness of Protestantism as frivolous. Even when these people leave Catholicism, they rarely switch to Protestantism. So, it seems that this difference in taste is one of the main criteria for choosing a religion.

In one of the writer's previous studies, he shows how Catholicism is becoming a family religion,. he based this claim on the fact that more than half of new believers come from families. Of course, in terms of the rate of family transmission of faith, Protestantism is by far the best among Korean religions.

This is the secret to why Protestant churches always come first in terms of the number of converts, even if they come in last in the popularity polls. This phenomenon continued even when the popularity of Protestantism hit rock bottom. Protestantism was once the religion of the family. So, despite the worst social reputation, the number of believers continued to increase. Of course, Protestant believers' missionary zeal and the reality of mass production of pastors even during a period of decline in the religious population also had an impact.

This is also the secret behind why Buddhism ranks first in popularity polls but ranks last in the number of converts. Buddhism has the lowest rate of family transmission of faith among the three major religions. Since believers do not recommend their children to join them in belief there is no way they would recommend it to anyone else. Therefore, if the current trend of increasing the rate of family transmission of faith continues, Buddhism will be the first to decline. If we assume this, Protestantism will be the religion that continues to grow.

When one religion holds a monopoly position in a society, discrimination against minority religions occurs. In these societies, religion is often a threat to peace. In reality, most societies that experience religious conflict are places where there is a serious imbalance in religious affiliation. Peace can be broken even when small or medium-sized religious sects compete with each other. The most severe case is when there are multiple monotheistic religions within one society. In this case, if there is a large difference in religious affiliation between sects, conflict almost without exception arises.

In light of these general cases, Korea is a rare case in the world where various religions coexist and peace is maintained on the surface. I believe this primarily comes from the pluralistic nature of Koreans. Next is the religious population ratio. The current structure in which the religious population ratio is less than half of the population and no particular religion forms a dominant majority among the religious population is also seen as a factor suppressing religious conflict. If this is true, the Korean characteristics of free movement between religions and religious preferences not being biased towards one side serve as a background for maintaining religious peace.

The New Korea

In the Catholic Peace Weekly Eyes of the Clergy Column, the priest columnist gives his opinion on a serious situation experienced presently by Korean society. 

Korea was a country where 1 million newborns were born every year. However, in 2002, the number of births was halved to 490,000. In just one generation, it was reduced to half that of the parents' generation. Now, it is cut in half again, and the number of births in 2022 is 240,000. Exactly every generation that passes, the population of the parents' generation is decreasing by half. Korea's rapid population decline, which is surprising to the world, is creating a new Republic of Korea that has never been experienced before.

Military units are disappearing. According to the Defense Reform released by the Ministry of National Defense in 2018, the standing force of 600,000 will be gradually reduced to 500,000 by 2022. This is because there are no soldiers to fill the unit. Accordingly, the Army's 27th Division stationed in Gangwon-do was disbanded. The disbandment of the division led to the disappearance of the community in the area where the unit was located. Local commercial districts are collapsing regardless of industry, and the number of school students, most of whom are children of military personnel, is plummeting. As the number of students plummets, the quality of education deteriorates, and the vicious cycle of people moving to new departments continues.

The decrease in students does not only occur in Gangwon-do. Closed schools also appeared in downtown Seoul. Dobong High School in Seoul will close in February. This is the first time for a general high school. The closure of elementary and middle schools in Seoul has already begun, and now even general high schools in Seoul are closing. The playground has been converted into a parking lot, and the school building will be remodeled and used as a government office. Although the number of kindergartens is decreasing, the number of senior day care centers, known as ‘senior kindergartens’, is steadily increasing.

Churches are also decreasing. The Protestant Church feels the crisis caused by population decline and is responding. According to the ‘2023 Status of Korean Religion’ report released by the Ministry Data Research Institute on January 16, it is predicted that Protestants in Korea will account for only 12% of the total population in 10 years. The cause is population decline and leaving the church. Some pastors within the Protestant church even argued for preparing to become a religious minority. 

Foreigners are taking up the positions vacated due to population decline. Local universities, where mass admission shortages occur, are filling their ranks with foreign students to maintain their universities. The national flags of many nations fly over the campus, and the wine shops in front of the schools, which used to sell makgeolli, are now ‘little Itaewons’ for international students. It has become a daily occurrence to meet international students serving people at restaurants with poor Korean. Is it just local universities? Industries that require hard labor, whether agriculture, manufacturing, construction, or service, are now paralyzed without foreign workers.

What is happening in society is happening in the Catholic Church. Foreign workers were the biggest help in restoring a parish church in Pohang, which was damaged by floods from a typhoon last year. On a day when a Mass for Filipinos is offered, the front of Hyehwa-dong church in Seoul is crowded with Filipinos. Parishes in areas with a high rate of foreign residents, such as Dongducheon Parish in Uijeongbu Diocese, prepare and offer separate Masses for immigrants. Moreover, 100 Filipino domestic helpers (housekeeping managers) will come to Korea as part of the ‘Foreign Domestic (Childcare) Workforce’ pilot project being prepared by the Seoul Metropolitan Government this year. The number of foreigners among us is expected to increase.

Because of the population decline the Church needs to accommodate to the new reality. In particular, pastoral care for the increasing number of immigrants is urgent. Rather than viewing immigrants as people who need help, we must recognize them as partners. Moreover, preparing pastoral alternatives for immigrants must begin with listening to their voices. If we listen to their voices and take a sensitive and warm approach to immigrants individually, we may encounter a synod church that ‘walks together’.

Finding Serenity In Life

On the Here And Now, Catholic Website a diocesan priest gives us his thoughts on using 100 percent of your strength all the time. We are all familiar with the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. The writer gives us his solution to arriving at serenity.

In the article, he mentions the opinion that came to mind from an article he remembers from the past.  According to the priest author, we cannot live by giving 100% of our strength all the time. If you do that, it won't be long before you give up. Therefore, you usually live with 80% of your strength, but when you need 100% of your strength, you use that strength, and when the work is finished, you go back to 80%.

Whether we know it or not, we were asked to always do our best from a young age. He doesn't know how it is these days, but when he was young, the goal of all elementary school kids was Seoul National University. At that time, to get into Seoul National University, you had to be in the top 1 percent, but with a competition rate of 100 to 1, how much effort would you have to put in to become that number 1? Naturally, all children were forced to study hard and did not think it was strange. 

At that time, we did not know how unfair and unreasonable it was to demand that every child be one in a hundred. He remembers a girl in 5th grade who put her head down on her desk and cried when her homeroom teacher berated her for getting a zero in her graded test papers. 

The demand to always do your best was not limited to studying. In Korean society, where college admissions and jobs are determined based on grades, the stereotype that poverty is due to not studying hard makes us feel bitter. It is a very big aspect of an unhealthy society that good performance in national affairs determines the future level of the economy. This is a social ill that must be fixed, but since this problem is directly connected to very strong vested interests, it is probably the most difficult problem to fix after the real estate problem.

With a father, mother, and older brother who graduated from Seoul National University, he was not poor at studying, but he could not enter Sky University. (The SKY abbreviation is the first letters of the names of South Korea's most respected universities: Seoul National University, Korea University, and Yonsei University).

Fortunately, his parents were not too concerned about grades, and he became a priest, a way of life that was even less concerned with grades. However, more and more was always attached to his belief system, which had a strong desire for recognition. He continued to need a better ‘me’ than what he had presently achieved. When he entered the seminary, at some point he came to the realization that becoming a better me, would not bring satisfaction and only served to occasionally call me back to keep moving forward. There was no way he could properly understand the request to accept himself as he was, which is the first condition for happiness. He didn't really know what that meant. What does it mean to accept things as they are?

In fact, it was only after 20 years since he became a priest that he became aware of the meaning of ‘as it is’ to a certain extent, and now knows that it will take a long time to truly realize it. This is because knowledge about it belongs to experiential knowledge. In other words, it is a knowledge that can only be understood by experiencing it yourself and living it—  relying on the Lord. It is impossible for someone who has not done the training to explain this to others. That's because they have not gone through the process.

Anyway, without understanding the expression “just as you are,” which he encountered as a seminarian, his goal of becoming a good priest was connected to a desire to do more things well, and he ended up trying to do too well regardless of his capabilities. If you live with these thoughts, you will not have much leisure in life and will become frustrated. In short, it's because you're trying to use 100% of your strength the whole time, but the real problem is that this doesn't produce the best results. Let's think about it. Have you ever seen someone who always does their best in life? Personally, he hasn't met anybody yet. When we think of ourselves as people who do our best, we don't just look at working hard at the tasks given to us. 

The admonition to always do our best in everything leads us to impossible goals and ultimately leaves us discouraged. He thinks the true wisdom is to live your daily life with 80% of your strength and to distinguish when you need to exert 100% of your strength. When we try to reach an impossible goal, we often experience situations where we fail, so we always feel a sense of disconnection. The satisfaction or reward that comes with this does not last long, and you end up feeling stressed because you always feel like you are not good enough. You think more about what you did poorly than what you did well, and you become sensitive to mistakes.  In the end, your overall life energy becomes depleted as you age, and you may fall into workaholism or other addictions.

Everyone has a desire to do well, so it's natural to have that kind of desire, but trying to do too well is bound to be unreasonable, as it means always wanting to give 100 percent. There is a saying that moderate tension brings good results, and I think this is possible with an 80% mindset. This is because the remaining 20% includes the mindset of accepting our shortcomings, limitations, and mistakes that inevitably occur. When this happens, leisure comes into our lives and we can accept our shortcomings as they are, allowing us to see others the same way. How bleak would it be in a place that does not tolerate mistakes? 

God the Father, whom we believe in and follow, does not always demand 100 percent from us. There are times when you have to give 100 percent, but never always. However, this does not mean that 80% of daily lives are lived in moderation. And even if you put in 100% of your energy and the results are not as good as you hoped, the accepting attitude will be over 80 percent.

The Oldest Korean Neighbor—China

The Catholic Times column Building Bridges by a religious brother of the Taizé Community gives us some understanding of the overseas Chinese living in Korea for many generations.

Dam Anyu is a third-generation Chinese native living in Seoul. She graduated from Hanseong Chinese Elementary School in Myeong-dong and a Chinese Middle and High School. She said that her grandfather, who came to Korea by ship from Shandong Province in the 1940s, always taught Anyu: “You are Chinese,” and  emphasized: “When she grows up, she must not marry a Korean.”  He married a Korean from  Jeonju her grandmother. Her father was a teacher at an overseas Chinese school and then became a university professor.

The establishment of diplomatic relations between Korea and China in 1992 was a shock to many Chinese. One day, Korea suddenly established diplomatic relations with the People's Republic of China, the Communist Party of China, and severed diplomatic relations with the Republic of China (Taiwan), which is called 'Free China'. Anyu vividly remembers the day when the Taiwan flag was lowered for the last time at the Chinese elementary school she attended. (The Blue Sky with a White Sun is the national emblem of the Republic of China (Taiwan). She was very sad. However, most of the Chinese in Korea, many of whom are from Shandong Province, maintained their Republic of China nationality even after the establishment of diplomatic relations between Korea and China. 

After graduating from high school, she entered Taiwan's prestigious National Normal University, where she was shocked again. To Taiwanese people, she was Korean. No matter how much she emphasized, “I’m just like you,” as she waved her passport, the next time they met, she was introduced as “a friend from Korea”. China where my ancestors lived, Korea where I was born and lived, and the Republic of China (Taiwan) engraved on my passport. She didn't belong anywhere and seemed to be floating somewhere in the West Sea.

When she became a Christian as a college student, she discovered a new identity as a child of God. But when she returned to Seoul and started her master's studies, she was introduced as an international student and even served as an international student representative. As she enters the doctoral program at Yonsei University this spring, she may once again be treated as an international student at the school, which is a short walk from her home.

Koreans do not know much about their ‘oldest neighbors’, the Chinese. We know about the Koreans who sacrificed their lives in Japan during the Great Kanto Earthquake, but the massacre of Chinese people that took place in Pyongyang in 1931 after the Wanbo Mountain Incident is not taught anywhere. He only found out about it recently.

The Park Chung-hee regime's ban on land ownership remained a trauma for many ethnic Chinese. A cabbage seller lost his land and started a restaurant, but the price of Jjajangmyeon was determined by the government and he could not raise it at will. Currency reform was also a blow to overseas Chinese who had a lot of cash. When Kim Young-sam government implemented the real-name financial system, some people lost their property and friends. Due to various restrictions and discriminatory treatment, the number of ethnic Chinese who at one time was close to 100,000 decreased to 20,000. 

Korea is already an internationally recognized multi-ethnic country. The number of foreigners residing in the country is close to 5 percent. When will Dam An-yu, a native of Yeonhui-dong, be seen as our oldest neighbor and considered ‘one of us’?

Perception Changes What We See

In the Diagnoses of the Times Column of the Catholic Peace Weekly, a member of the Reconciliation Committee gives us his opinion on the situation with the North.

Since the beginning of the year, the confrontation between North and South Korea has been intensifying in words and actions. At the 9th Plenary Meeting of the 8th Central Committee of the Workers' Party of Korea, Chairman Kim Jong-un said in his speech: "In case of emergency, we must continue to accelerate preparations for a great action to pacify the entire territory of South Korea by mobilizing all physical means and capabilities, including nuclear force."  Of course, there was a caveat that “a nuclear crisis could occur in the event of an emergency,” but the media reported that North Korea could prepare for a war that would pacify all of South Korea through nuclear war. When paying attention to the conditional clause in Chairman Kim Jong-un's remarks, the media reports seemed to emphasize the impression that North Korea had decided to prepare for nuclear war, even though the possibility of nuclear war on the Korean Peninsula could be controlled if a crisis threatening the system did not occur. Of course, this does not mean that this remark is light or something we can tolerate. No matter how conditional clauses are added on the Korean Peninsula, we firmly oppose any statement that heightens the possibility of war between South and North Korea. However, putting the blame for the conflict only on one party does not help ease tensions. There is a need to closely analyze what North Korea wants to say.

Not only words but also concrete military actions are increasing anxiety. On January 5, North Korea fired some 200 artillery shells into waters off its western coast along the Military Demarcation Line in the West Sea but no damage was caused to our military or civilians, and most of the shells fell within the northern buffer zone of the Northern Limit Line. Our military immediately fired back, and residents of the five islands in the West Sea, including Yeonpyeong Island, were told to move to nearby shelters. Of course, passenger ships traveling between Incheon and Baengnyeong Island were also controlled. 

In recent years, the media has poured out articles criticizing North Korea, saying that it stopped firing coastal artillery on the west coast and then suddenly carried out a military “provocation.” However, before that, on January 1, the Korean Army carried out K-9 self-propelled artillery shelling in the Cheorwon area, and on the 2nd, artillery and armored units moved on the Eastern and Western Fronts. On January 3, the Navy conducted maritime maneuvers throughout the east, west, and south, and there was combat shooting by the ROK-US combined forces for seven days from December 29 of last year. And the media described all of this as “training.”

According to experts, the prevailing analysis is that North Korea's coastal artillery fire on the West Sea is in response to our military's actions. It was not seen as a sudden “provocation” by North Korea when there was no provocation but as a response to our military’s “training.” However, the media did not sufficiently analyze our side's previous movements and only emphasized North Korea's coastal artillery fire. Of course, it is natural that our military's training does not become news, but North Korea's military actions do. However, describing all of North Korea's military actions as provocations in media reports also puts the blame on only one party. This is not seeing the situation as it exists.

The current reality on the Korean Peninsula is that one side's actions, whether words or actions provoke a response from the other side. The words and actions of the North and South are naturally directed at the other. However, the perception is that our side's words and actions are defensive and legitimate military "training", while the other side's offensive and reprehensible military "provocations", clearly show the entrenched conflict situation. In a conflict situation, a mechanical schema is activated in which the in-group is good and the victim, but the opposition is bad and the perpetrator. However, not all actions can be expressed as provocations. Rather, it is expressed as “low-intensity military action” or “high-intensity military action,” and the conflict can be managed only when objective judgment and analysis are made. If you look at the other person with fixed eyes and that is all you see the situation will not change. Wouldn't correcting our perspectives and expressions in conflict situations be the first step to realizing peace?