Points for a Private Retreat

One of our Maryknollers who was interested in getting Catholics to spend time in a private retreat recommended working with a game at the beginning of the retreat.

1) Write in a journal twenty words that I think describe me and my personality.

2) Reflect on each of these terms, I will make any changes that seem needed.

3) Mark each item that I consider to be good with an X.

4) Count the number of Xs and multiply by five.

Example, if the total is 75, this means that about 75% of the time I have a good opinion of myself and that I like myself that much . This is really an exercise which helps me to get some insight into what I think about myself and whether I like myself or not. 75% would actually be higher than a lot of people give themselves.

Another way for me to look at this game is to note that it is like scoring God's work. In the above example I gave God 75% for the job he did in creating me. When I read the first chapter of Genesis, I discover that God looked at what was created and said "this is very good." That means that God gave creation at least a 90% rating. When God created me God said, "this is very good." Am I saying something different from God? Is there something here I need to reflect on and do something about? The first chapter of Genesis says very clearly that God likes me and loves me and thinks of me as good. Do I think differently? Am I calling God wrong?

During the retreat, and later on , It is a good idea for me to reflect on the various words I used to describe myself. This kind of mediation can very often help me to gain a deeper understanding of myself and put me in a better position to improve my relationship with God. It can also give me insights into the kinds of things that I may need to reform my life. Many things are here for which I need to say thanks to God. Most likely there are also things for which I need to say I m sorry, forgive me Lord , and help me to change what needs to be changed.

The Commercialization of Sex in Korea.

This week's cover story in the Catholic Newspaper is about the commercializing of Sex. It is a topic we see frequently; as an American have taken it for granted, as a Catholic do not believe it is for our good. There was a very good interview by a woman professor working for the promotion of equality of the sexes in the pages of the cover story.

She mentions that we have come to a point where it is difficult to tell what is commercializing of sex and what isn't. It has worked itself into all the facets of our life. We see it in the mass media under the guise of news , drama , games and even under the appearance of getting to understand a different culture: the naked sushi of a Japanese program where rice cakes topped with raw fish were being eaten off a woman's naked body.

She makes a very strong point that in the capitalistic system if you can make money selling a commodity then someone will. If there is something that will incite us than there will be people that will be attracted by curiosity. What's the problem?

Sex is the body. We can't separate sex from the personality. A person is the combination of heart mind and body. When we separate sex from the person we divide the person and we bring division into our lives. When this happens our person also becomes commercialized, we are a commodity. Sexual violence follows etc. We break the genuineness of our sexuality and do harm to our personality.

When society makes personalities into a commodity we become a shell. We have to prevent our bodies from being sold as a commodity. People who have a concern for what is happening to the sacredness of sex should bind together to change the thinking of our society. Those who are making money with the selling of sex, hopefully, will be sensitized to what is happening in their treatment of sex.

When our bodies can be sold as a tool for making money than there is no limit to what can be done. We have seen it with woman and we are seeing it appearing with men and there is nothing to stop it from going to children. This destroys the intimacy, the joy and happiness that belongs to sex.

When sex has become a tool for making money a commodity, there is no limit to where this attachment to money will take us.

Direction of Catholic Church of Korea

It is not easy to distinguish between the different committees of Justice and Peace in the Catholic Church of Korea: the Committee for Justice and Peace of the Catholic Bishops' Conference, the Catholic Priests' Association for Justice, CPAJ , started on their own initiative and there are some 13 different diocesan Justice and Peace Committees. At the present there is some unity in the way they see our society.

Many within the Catholic Church feel the direction of the present government lacks concern for the weaker members. Political authority must be exercised within the limits of morality. The Government should listen to the voice of the people. There is a feeling that the government is curtailing freedom of speech and using force to a degree that is not necessary. Are these objective judgement of those who know the situation? Maybe not, but many have a gut feeling that does not go away.

The Pope mentions in the Encyclical God is Love three areas in which the Church must be active: (1) prayer and teaching, (2) work for the poor, (3) work for justice.
In this week's Incheon bulletin one of the older priests Fr. O Kyeong hwan, knowledgeable about our society mentions these three areas of Catholic concern, quoting from the Encyclical. He was a participant in the recent seminar in Seoul sponsored by the Bishops' Justice and Peace Committee. Below is a quote from the encyclical of Pope Benedict: #28-29 "The Church cannot and must not take upon herself the political battle to bring about the most just society possible. She cannot and must not replace the State. Yet at the same time she cannot and must not remain on the sidelines in the fight for justice. She has to play her part through rational argument and she has to reawaken the spiritual energy without which justice, which always demands sacrifice, cannot prevail and prosper. A just society must be the achievement of politics, not of the Church. Yet the promotion of justice through efforts to bring about openness of mind and will to the demands of the common good is something which concerns the Church deeply."

Bishop Choi of Incheon the Committee Chairman introduced the seminar by stating sovereignty starts with the people. All the power comes from the people . We can not disregard the prescriptions of the Constitution and must always have the the good of the people and their solidarity in mind.

Alcoholism and the Catholic Church of Korea

On the Hic and Nunc website there was an interesting poll that was taken at the end of last year and on which they recently commented. It was a survey of 700 people that drank more than a bottle of Soju (cheap Korean liquor) a day. The Catholics registered the highest with 39.3% , those without religion 36.1 % , Buddhists were 25.6% and Protestants was 17.5%.

The reason the Catholics were the highest was the way they see drinking. They are warned against the hedonist life style but no interference in what to eat or drink. In the 2nd chapter of John's Gospel Jesus, after the wine ran out, made another batch for the wedding guests.. We also have St. Paul telling us the problem is not what we eat but our attitude . I would like to add that St.Paul also advised Timothy, to use wine in moderation for health reasons.

The Buddhist monks and nuns are not to drink but it is permissible for the Buddhist faithful to drink in moderation.

The Protestants are the strictest. The first missioners that came to Korea were from the States; they were strict in their teaching on alcohol: no alcohol or cigarette smoking.

There are many in the Church who have a problem with drink. Drinking can be something positive but can also turn into a harmful habit that destroys not only the person who drinks but all who are in some way connected with him or her, especially the family. Fr. Heo runs the Alcohol Pastoral Center in Seoul. A good explanation of his work can be found here.

The "bomb shot," or "poktanju" in Korean, is a favorite among many. A shot glass filled with soju is poured into a larger glass filled with beer. The mix is then consumed in one or two gulps. Those in the world of business have this as one of their occupational hazards. It is part of the world in which they live and it is little wonder that it does havoc to many.

Below are the words of a Columban priest who worked with those addicted in Korea before returning to Australia. This is taken from the blog of the Missionary Society of St. Columban.

12 Steps Come To Korea
In recovery from alcohol addiction, the first step often starts not with the alcoholic, but with family members and friends of the alcoholic. At about this same time, other Columban priests started education centers for alcohol and gambling problems. Twelve-step programs were started because of our concerns.

Two priests who had pioneered 12-step programs in Korea had died, so I was asked to take over an addiction recovery program in Seoul, South Korea's capital city. I had no trouble attracting people who wanted to attend the program at the center; it was the only such place in Korea, and we got calls from all over the country.

I also traveled to hospitals and visited with groups to teach family members and those working with addicts how to make life better. I learned that much damage is done by people with good intentions to help the alcoholic or compulsive gambler who, in fact, prolong or aggravate the problem because of their lack of knowledge or denial.

I have experienced much pain and heartbreak when listening to the stories of addicts over the years. I still get so angry when I come across people who have suffered for many more years than necessary, especially when they got wrong advice from someone like a priest, minister or medical professional.

After my work in Seoul, I moved on to Sydney, Australia, and continued my 12-step program work with both Koreans and those from other nations. As I completed studies in addiction counseling to be better prepared for my work, I was amazed at how often I met those who spoke with authority on the subject but who failed to inform themselves about counseling to become more effective.

Working with Koreans in Sydney has taught me some new things about addiction. Often, the addict had moved to Sydney to avoid temptation or to run from their problems and debts only to find that Sydney has more gambling machines and more clubs and pubs than Korea.

Combine this with the added stress of settling into a new language and culture, and family problems would often be brought to the surface. Children in the family must face alcohol and drug problems in their family.

As a result, a whole family becomes engaged in addictive and co-dependent behavior. The stress and tension often result in family violence and psychiatric illnesses, such as depression, paranoia and other disorders. The family in denial means that no one gets help, and the price is paid in mental and emotional problems.

"Comfort Women" Visited Again

More on "Comfort Women" from the Korea Herald, Friday July 17. This article was sent to me my Fr. Bob Lilly to add to what was said in a previous blog. This broadens the topic to sites of Japan's atrocities in other parts of Asia. The tour group visited "The House of Sharing" as part of the Korea study from July 2nd to 18th. You can view the article by clicking here.

Blessed Are the Poor

From Fr. Cioppa's In His Own Words.

I am sure we have all asked this question. "Am I loveable?" In our contacts with people, we put our best foot forward. We let people see our good side: the handsome, concerned, loving, caring "me". But there is another side which I try to hide, which only I see: the proud, selfish, petty, domineering "me". Sometimes I wonder why did God do this? why didn't He make me with only a good side? Why didn't He do a better job and make me perfect? Why did He make life so difficult? I have to struggle to be good. He could have made it easy and just made a perfect world with all perfect people. Why didn't He?

If God knew that there were going to be so many wars, natural disaster, sin, pain and suffering why didn't He just make a nice comfortable world where we could all be happy for ever afterㅡlike the fairy books say? The question keeps coming back especially when we see a child suffer, the poor dying of hunger, prostitutes walking the streets, global warming, people killing one another in wars and overflowing prisons. Why? Why? Why?

One time I asked a group of social workers, "If you were creating the world and you knew then what you know now, would you have created the world? Would you have made men and women just as they are now?" They discussed the question for a while, and then answered, "Yes". I was surprised and asked why. They said that in the people they served: the street sleepers, the poor, the sick, the dying, the prostitutes, the mentally impaired, the prisoners, the disobedient students, the elderly, they found joy, peace, dignity and a depth of life which they did not find in others. They found them loveable. If these social workers found that these destitute derelicts, dregs of society were loveableㅡ then it has to be even more true of God.

God looks at all the evil in the world, all the unthinkable crimes men commit and all the destruction they bring about and He still finds us lovable. Unbelievable! Astonishing! Impossible! Yes, but true! Isn't that a wonderful thoughtㅡthat God's love for us is unconditional?

I think God's reaction is much like the social workers. He, like them, looks at the bottom of the social scale and is moved by them. His heart goes out to them and finds them loveable. God looks at them, the world, you and me, and sees the bad side of us, but He also sees the good side and finds us loveable. Hard to believe, isn't it?

One last point. When I look at myself, doI see myself as weak, getting older, a sinner, afraid, lonely depressed, not so smart and feel I just can' get ahead? If the answer is yes, then God probably loves you even more than if you were brilliant, healthy, young and successful. So rejoice! You just joined the poor of the world and God finds you loveable!

Man's Worst Disease

The meditation below is taken from Fr. John Cioppa's In His Own Words.

Once in an interview with a reporter, Mother Teresa said that for all kinds of diseases there are medicines and cures. We have almost eradicated leprosy and we have medicines for TB and malaria.But there is one terrible disease she said which I don't think can ever be cured.That is the disease of being unwanted. Every human being wants to be loved. Not a cheap love, but a deep love, a love of being accepted for what I am. A baby who is not welcomed is often ill. A student who does not feel accepted will not learn. A worker who is not accepted by his colleagues will suffer ulcers. A Religious who is not accepted by her community will never be happy.

Acceptance means that people with whom I live give me a feeling of self-respect, a feeling that I am worthwhile, that I am good. They are happy that I am who I am. They don't demand that I be someone else. They don't insist that I be perfect. Each of us is born with many potentialities, but unless they are drawn out by the touch of acceptance, they will remain dormant. Acceptance does not mean that I deny the defects in someone or say that everything he does is beautiful. Only when I accept a person can I really see his defects. People who are not accepted crave , long for it and will do anything to get it. They boast in order to get praise. They exaggerate because they feel inferior and they tend to be rigid and afraid to risk... If I don't experience trust: being trusted and trusting others, my life becomes empty.

I am sure we have all experienced this lack of acceptance at times in our lives. Is there an answer to all of this? There is. And this is going to sound simplistic . But it is a genuine realization that I am accepted by Godㅡas I amㅡ as I am at this very moment and not as I should be. God doesn't demand that we be perfect before He loves us. He doesn't even demand that we be good. He just asks that we trust Him believe in Him, and accept His love.

Many of us spend our whole lives doing many things to build up merit so God will love us more. We believe that the more "I do" the more God will love me. We cannot earn love. Love is a gift from God. We cannot do anything to make God love me. He loves us already and He cannot love us any more because His love is perfect. "In this love, not that we loved God but that He loved us.... We love God because He first loved us." (1 Jn. 4:10) It is hard to believe but God knows my name. In the book of Isaiah God says: "See I have branded you on the palms of my hands." (Is 48:1216) Imagine that! God can never look at His hand without seeing my name and thinking of me. How many times have we said the words, "God loves me". But for most of us deep down in our hearts we have some questions. Does He really love me with no strings attached? Just as I am? With all of my faults? Let me answer. Yes, He does and most of us will spend the rest of our lives trying to understand and open our hearts to accept that love. It is called Faith.

At the end of the interview with Mother Teresa, the reporter said, "Now I understand why you gave up everything to work with the poor hoping that through your care , concern and love they might realize that they are loved, accepted and beautiful people."