Do We Need Guidelines on How to Die?

During this month of November Catholics think of death and  pray for those who have died. The trees are shedding their leaves, and nature  goes to sleep, which makes thoughts of death come easier. The secular press does not spend much time reflecting on the meaning of death but the Chosun Ilbo has an interesting account of a book, "Dying in the Hospital."

Written by a Japanese doctor, the book chronicles his 16 years attending 300 persons who died in the hospital. It convinced him that it was not the place to spend one's last moments on earth and that when his time came, he would not spend it in a hospital. Although those dying in a hospital have access to all kinds of life-support equipment--to help them breathe and receive nourishment--their days are neither  living nor a dying. It is not dying as a human being and meeting death with dignity, so the doctor says.

He tells the story of a 40-year old man who, after he was told he had terminal cancer, left his hospital bed and went home to spend his last months with his family. This time with them was the  most important of his 40 years, he said, and the kind of message he wanted to leave behind for the family.

The columnist refers to a survey of 298 cancer patients who were receiving anti-cancer treatment six months before death. In Korea 95 percent of cancer patients would be receiving such treatment; in the United States, it would be only 33 percent. He believes the reason for this discrepancy is that Koreans have a strong attachment to life and the  denial of death is pervasive. When death comes suddenly into their life or the life of their loved ones, it is difficult to accept.

The column ends by mentioning that the Korean Institute of Death has published guideline material on how to prepare for death. It begins with instructions on preparing the last will and testament, how to inform others of one's impending death, how to improve the relationship with the doctor, and what the family needs to know. That we in this modern world need guidelines on  how to live, the columnist understands, but that  we need them for dying left him perturbed. However, in this world where extraordinary measures are often taken to live well, it is also important  to know how to die well.

Korean Purgatorial Societies

In most  parishes, a group of parishioners are responsible for helping those who are nearing death.  Stateside they are often called purgatorial societies. Members pray, have Masses said, or do good works for the dead. However, in Korea these societies have been 'Koreanized,' doing much more than is commonly expected, which shows the importance of death in the Korean psyche.

These Korean societies assist the family in every way possible and arrange for the priest to come, if the one dying has not already received the Sacrament of the sick. At death, when the undertakers were few and the people poor, the members of the society would do the work of the undertaker as a voluntary work of love. They would wash the body, clothe it, take care of the rites for placing the body in the coffin, and pray the office of the dead (yeon do); when sung, this takes about one hour.  This was a  great consolation to  the family, for many would not know what to do. They would also make the funeral arrangements and be on call for the bereaved family until the burial and even after, if the family wanted.

Some parishes have their own mortuaries where the body remains until the day of the funeral. Members of the purgatorial societies  are usually the older parishioners and not infrequently,the largest group in the parish. They have motivated many people to return to the Church, seeing the devotion of these Catholics as they went about their duties during times of  bereavement. Their presence at the home of the deceased or in the mortuaries  giving strength to the bereaved families is truly a beautiful sign of God's love.

During this month of All Souls, many articles on death and dying  appeared in the Catholic press. The  Peace Weekly interviewed a 53-year old who has been a  member of the society for ten years.  When she joined at the age of 43, many of the older members thought she would not be reliable, perhaps believing that at her age, she would not be able to have sufficient empathy for those who are facing death; they expected she wouldn't last long. However, they changed their minds soon after she became a member. They now call her Mrs. Kim, the undertaker.

She travels to different parishes giving lectures on the office of the dead and how to recite it. Having a mother who used to walk an hour every day to Mass helped her to follow naturally in her footsteps, and seeing death often as a child also helped. At the age of 10 she saw a woman who had hung herself in her garden; at 13 her younger brother died suddenly, and in high school, she witnessed the death of a street person. When she saw people stepping over him on the sidewalk, she had her first doubt about the dignity and goodness of humans. All of it, she believes, was a preparation for her work as a member of the society.

These purgatorial societies are an important  part of the Church but probably nowhere in the Catholic world, outside of Korea, would you have a purgatorial society that expects so much from its members. We are  grateful to them for their selfless dedication in performing a difficult task so well.

Understanding the Word Self Respect

A columnist in the Catholic Times reflects on a new word that now frequently shows up in our conversations: ja jon gam--a feeling of respect for oneself. The word we have been using, ja jon sim, also means  self respect, but she believes that most of the time ja jon sim has been used negatively--being concerned that others may look down on us. The two words mean the same as in English: dignity, self pride, self esteem, but in Korean the 'sim' form of the word also has a negative connotation in most cases.

It  would be good for those that are fearful of what others may think to put God in the place of the other; life would then seem very different. However, she has no difficulty with the 'sim' word. She feels that only when we pass ourselves off to others as different from what we are does it become false self respect.
 

She looked up  'gam' in a large Korean dictionary and couldn't find it. She does not get into the reasons for this, but it could be that the 'gam' word has only a positive connotation, and we needed a word to express this.  She tells us of the benefits of having respect for oneself, crediting the success of many to this feeling of self-respect. Parents, family, teachers should be encouraged, she says, to help instill this feeling of respect. And even if it is not given by others,  God can make up for this  lack in our lives.

As Catholics, the way we express ourselves at times can be misunderstood as demeaning ourselves. Our language may not be psychologically proper, but it is very spiritually proper, although not readily understood without the context of Christianity. The paradoxes of Christianity--when weak we are strong, by dying we live, and the last will be first--are not easy to understand without this context; a context of humility that sees reality as it is.  Korean Catholics realize we are  members of Christ's body and in each  Mass we pray  to partake  of Christ's  divinity.   There  is no greater motive   for the respect that we should have for ourselves or for humility.

The word face is often used in Korean, and 'losing face' is a very hurtful experience. We all desire to make a good impression on others but here again, we are dealing with something very natural.  No one wants to look foolish or be hurt. The natural feelings that come when we lose face can be overcome by respecting who we are and acknowledging our dignity as God's loved ones. 

The columnist ends with this commentary: Only when we respect and love ourselves will we respect and love the other.

Magdalena House

The Peace Weekly recently interviewed  the custodian of Magdalena House, a Catholic shelter for victims of prostitution. It  provides counseling for those who are trying to leave the life of prostitution and return to a normal life in society. The woman in charge of the House, Consecrata, told of her work to help those who have died while working in the sex trade.                   

She remembers the many women who have come to the shelter and have died. Their pictures were shown to the interviewer, and she heard  Consecrata  reminisce about each one of the women. Each picture had a story to tell. One woman, who had lived as a prostitute but left the life to begin her own small business, was killed in an auto accident.

Since  1987 Consecrata has been involved with the funeral rites for these women. One woman was accepting a male visitor up to the moment she died. Consecrata  was told that it was a heart attack. She told the police she believed it was murder and asked them to investigate. She was told "You must accept what was said, what do you know about this anyway?"  Even the family did not  want to know the reason for her death. She said prayers for her at the mortuary and took the body to the crematorium.


When she hears of prostitutes who are sick she goes to help them in their last hours. When she helped with the  burial and the funeral arrangements, on returning  to the shelter she was considered unclean and they would spread salt around the premises. But seeing the way she has given of herself for others, this attitude has gradually disappeared.

Last month, three  women died. When she went to the crematorium she was met by one of the workers who guessed what it was all about. You do not see women carrying the coffin in Korea, and he offered to help.

The members of Magdalena House on New Year's day and Harvest Festival prepare a table for the rites of the dead. She is asked by some of the women: "When I die will you do the same for me?" The death of a prostitute is of little interest to others, but to Consecrata the time and energy spent in caring for those who are dying is a work of love.  She is often told, "You must not die before me." The rumor that prostitutes have to sell their bodies for experimental purposes to have enough money for the funeral is no longer circulated. If the woman has no family, Consecrata takes care of all that is necessary; she doesn't want to be the custodian of an unknown grave.

When the anniversary of their death comes around, she often gives friends of the deceased money to buy vegetables to prepare for guests. These women have lived a difficult life, filled with shame. Consecrata  tries her best to be with them when sick and facing death, and to fulfill their wishes for the funeral rites. In a Buddhist funeral, the more bows the better, and on one occasion, she bowed so often she returned home with her legs  shaking.                                                                                                                       

These women have been treated as objects.  Consecrata's desire is to make their final moments on earth like all the others in society. She sees  their dignity and is  responding to it.

Catholic Lay Theologians of Korea

Right after the start of the Apostolic Church those that went to the gentiles with the Gospel were laity. In the early Church those engaged voluntarily in the study of theology where lay persons. This was also true at the start of the Church in Korea: lay persons studying the teachings of the Church, living it, and bringing it into their faith life.  
 
The editorial in the Catholic Times introduces us again to these facts and reminds us that in a pluralistic society we will have many more lay Catholics getting involved in theology and taking  their rightful place within the Church.

The winner this year of the Korean Catholic Scholastic Award went to a professor who has been working in the field of history for the last 30 years. This is the second time that the award went to a layperson.
 
Within the Catholic Church in Korea we see the laypersons’ maturity coming very much to the fore: not only in scripture, history and ecclesiology but also in other related fields of special interest to lay theologians. The laity are not receiving much support, however, from the Church, especially in preparing an encouraging atmosphere for lay theologians. 
 
With the  deepening of spirituality,  they will help to evangelize our society and also carry out the mission to go out to the rest of Asia and the world.  Support for promoting spiritual maturity and theological studies will be necessary if  they are not to  flounder. Without this proper pursuit of learning and  mature spirituality,  progress will be building a house of cards.

The presentation of scholastic awards is a sign of growth. It enables the Church to acknowledge those who are prominent in their field of study and to encourage others in their study. However, it is not sufficient to give awards if we don't also support our lay theologians; this must be given more attention and support by the Church. The editorial recommends a permanent research institute that will contribute to the formation of lay theologians and lay leaders.  

The clergy and religious have been so closely identified with the Church that there has been a tendency among the laity to feel like inferior members of the Church. We are all members of one body and the laity are the  members whose function is to spread the Gospel in  the world. With the continued growth of the Church and increased finances, we should soon see the lay person coming to center stage and making more contributions to the life of the Church.

Prophetic Voice of Catholic Media

The 11th symposium of a pastoral group met recently to examine the prophetic voice of the media and its place in the life of the Church. The topic was "With the word, we see the way: Obligation and reflection on the media and the Church." Both Catholic newspapers covered the symposium and gave brief summaries of the proceedings.

One participant mentioned that if the media is to give the citizens joy and hope there has to be media reform. Legislation should stop the influence of big money and control of the media. Public opinion and religious groups have to be mobilized to work for an independent media. At present the rich get richer and the poor get poorer and much of the blame, said the participant, belongs with the media. After receiving help from the International Monetary Fund, Korea accepted neo-liberalism (no government controls on economic development) and we now have in Korea, according to the participant, 20 percent of the population who are well off and 80 percent who are struggling to make ends meet. The media does not educate the public on the effects of neo-liberalism and by their silence the citizens remain ignorant of the root problems and why we have them.

Another participant directly involved with the Catholic media said that Catholic media needs to be more conscious of Gospel values, and stay away from dealing with disputed societal issues. That should be, he believes, the work of the secular press and the specialists, with the Church restricting its interests to fundamental issues and causes. The media does have a prophetic role, he said, and should not--as the prophets of old did not--stay in the back room to pray but go out to the people to reprimand those who had done wrong and make known God's will. The job of the journalist is not easy to begin with. It is even more difficult when taking on the role of a prophet. This is what Catholic media should be doing in today's world but fitting the prophetic role of a journalist with love, forgiveness and reconciliation, is not easy.    

Media is a business, with the inevitable turmoil of competing in a market economy. Talented people are needed. The quality and quantity of production considered; money, advertising and government involvement are all areas of concern.

The situation is made somewhat easier for the Church by having a good "brand name" in its favor. We do not have serious divisions, in-fighting and control by business, so we are free to go after the facts and truth. This allows us to work for the common good, and be the much needed prophetic voice that will educate the public on issues that the secular media covers poorly or not at all, or does so from a narrow ideological perspective.

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Catholic Layperson in the Church

Layperson Sunday will be celebrated in Korea today, one week before the  Sunday of Christ the King.  It will be the 43rd time since its inception  back in 1968. On this Sunday, a layperson gives the sermon, which is usually sent from the Lay Apostolate Conference for use in the parish if desired. This year the topic is "A new way of evangelizing has arrived."

The sermon informs us that of the world's population of over six and half billion four billion live in Asia, and only about 3 percent are Catholic. And in many countries they are persecuted and face other difficulties in worshiping openly and freely. It is not sufficient only to pray; material aid and lay missioners are also needed.

Mention was made of the documentary film "Don't cry, Tonj," depicting the life of a Salesian priest-doctor, Lee Tae-suk (1962-2010), who volunteered as a missioner to the Sudan.  He died Jan.14 at the age of 48 from colon cancer. This film is a powerful portrayal of what it means to love one another and what evangelization should mean to us.

The Pope in his Mission Sunday message  tells us that the call of Jesus is a response in mission  by "priests, consecrated people, catechists and lay missionaries in the constant  endeavor to encourage church communion.  Even the intercultural phenomenon may be integrated in a model of unity in which the Gospel is a leaven of freedom and progress, a source of brotherhood, humility and peace." The Pope reminds us that fellowship within the  Church is an important part of mission.

The sermon on Layperson Sunday, using an example from Korean Church history in the last years of the 18th century, tells us that a catechist,  in order to save the life of the only priest in Korea, a Chinese priest, gave up his own life. The priest, six years later, seeing the suffering of the Christians, gave himself up to the authorities to help lessen their suffering. This is a good example of the traditional  fellowship within the Church, the sermon emphasizing that the fellowship of priests, religious and lay people is important and necessary.

A Religious Sister quoted in the Catholic Times mentions the challenges the Church has in Asia: increasing our solidarity with the poor, promoting interreligious dialogue, and moving forward with inculturation--making the Church more Korean. The challenges for the layperson are found primarily in how best to prepare for awakening to the call of mission in order to respond to the needs of the  present by a unified pastoral concern. Activation of the various lay groups and an understanding of layperson and religious as companions in the mission of Christ must be stressed.