A Sad Tale of Two Brothers

A tale of two brothers and their families and the animosity that threatened to destroy their village recently appeared in the Catholic Time's View From the Window. The priest relates that the brothers, during their poverty-filled early years, were very close, but at the death of their parents began to fight over the inheritance, each brother gathering support for their cause from the villagers, the feud soon spreading into the neighboring villages. Insults and threats followed, setting villager against villager.

At the beginning of the feud, the economic conditions of the two families were similar. However, the younger brother invested in a business in the village that failed, and everything was lost. He began to drink and raise havoc, which turned many villagers against him and his family.  The older brother's efforts and good luck, however, enabled him to do well, Seeing the deteriorating condition of his brother's family, he tried to help and restore the loving relationship with his brother, but the scars from the past were too many. Over the years, meetings were held and some help was given. It seemed the attempts for a reconciliation were bearing fruit, but the family of the older brother interfered. Unwilling to forgive the harm suffered in the past, they criticized him for helping his brother. The situation had become so bad, it was even difficult to bring up the subject.

However, a few women relatives of the older brother secretly continued to help. Knowing the difficulties the younger brother's family was having, they kept talking about the need for reconciliation, which prompted members of their own family to attacked them. "Whose side are you on?" they would ask the women. "Have you forgotten what they did to us? Are they more important than your own family?" Treated like traitors, they no longer had the courage to speak out.

There seemed only one remaining hope for peace between the two families: the children. But after constantly hearing their parent's warnings such as "Don't play with them, don't talk with them," they developed the same prejudices as their parents-- and the vicious circle continued. The children of the young brother, because of their impoverished lifestyle, were ridiculed by the older brother's children. And the older brother's prominent status in the village, compared with that of their father's, caused the children of the younger brother to seek revenge: scrawling graffiti on walls, throwing stones and breaking windows. The disapproving elders would simply take care of the mess and punish the children, but this did nothing to change the feelings of the two families.
 
Despite the respect the older brother received from the villagers, the blemish on the family of the younger brother's behavior made them feel uncomfortable. The young brother seemed not to remember or preferred not to think of the help he and his family had received, or to remember the wrongs he had done, but thought it was all his brother's fault. Becoming more arrogant and erratic, he began to move his family from place to place. getting the attention of everyone. The sympathy many villagers once had for the family quickly disappeared, and disdain was all that was left.

Although, occasionally, small sums of money would be given to the younger brother in the hope that he would turn his life around, it was not to be. He began carrying a knife, threatening to kill and to set fire to the village, frightening everybody. 

How does their mother from heaven look upon her sons now? the priest wonders. Is the current situation the only one possible? Is there no way out of this mess?  Sometimes, all we can do, the priest says, as he ends this sad tale, is to offer up our prayers for them. 

Morally Dubious Experiments

In 2008 the Vatican published a list of new social sins that at the time gave the media something to talk about and a reason to laugh. The sins listed were bio-ethical violations, such as birth control; morally dubious experiments, such as stem cell research; drug abuse; environmental pollution; contributing to widening the divide between rich and poor; excessive wealth; and creating conditions for poverty. The  Kyeongyang magazine has taken a close look at each of these offenses, separately and in detail. This month a professor at the Catholic University of Daegu discusses "morally dubious experiments."

These experiments, he says, are like thorns on a rose bush, a two-edged sword, which under the guise of scientific experiments causes a lot of trouble. The human medical experiments run by Unit 731 of the Japanese army in China on Koreans and the Chinese are well-known. They  injected prisoners of war with anthrax bacteria and small pox germs to follow the progress of the contamination. There were other experiments but far too many to mention and the barbarity of what was done even difficult to speak about.

The professor also mentions the gruesome experiments performed by the Nazis on their Jewish prisoners. Also mentioned were the experiments, in1932, on Southern Blacks, by the U.S. Public Health Service, to determine the progress of syphilis, and even though medicine for the disease was available, it was not given to the patients. A similar experiment by the U. S. was conducted on prisoners and the mentally sick in Guatemala; here they were infected with syphilis to determine how useful penicillin would be in curing the disease. There were also the experiments by the CIA, until 1973, during which the government experimented on how to control behavior by drugs, electric shock, radiation, supersonic waves, and the like.

Denunciation of these immoral human experiments had good results. Those that participated in these experiments during the Second World War were given serious punishment. In 1947 a set of guidelines, called the Nuremberg Principles, was proclaimed by the United Nations, detailing what is permissible in medical experiments. In1964, the Declaration of Helsinki was a means of governing international research, providing guidelines for biomedical research involving human subjects. Korea has also established, he says, what is allowed in clinical trials, as well as setting up other regulations in medical matters.

Even though there are international regulations governing these matters, because of the sovereignty of each nation, unethical experiments are still occurring, such as nuclear testing. From 1945 to 1998, there have been 1,851 nuclear experiments. In 1963, because of the radioactive nuclear fallout, Russia and the U. S. agreed to stop the atmospheric experiments and to limit the experiments to the underground.

The amount of plutonium in our atmosphere because of nuclear testing, the professor surmises, is about 3.5 tons and its lethal effects will take thousands of years to dissipate. Another likely destructive scenario, but potentially more immanently catastrophic for humanity, the professor believes, will be the nuclear fallout from our energy generating nuclear plants, similar to what happened at Fukushima, Japan. The possible destruction of nature and human life are not being considered as we continue to experiment with nuclear energy. The professor would like to see a Maginot Line put in place that would block any more experiments of this type. If we don't heed the calls for stopping these experiments, he's convinced that the future will be a perilous time for both humanity and the planet.  

Meditating on the Martyrs

Once a month a group of Christians goes on pilgrimage to a martyr's shrine, after having selected a topic which the shrine will help to elucidate. The columnist writing on spirituality for the Catholic Times, a member of the group, mentions that he contacted a professor of history familiar with the lives of the martyrs to gather background on the martyrs which would help him participate more fully in the discussion they were going to have at the shrine.

During the conversation with the professor, he asked--what he later described as a foolish question--if she found the study of the martyrs interesting. She said that translating the letters of the foreign missioners, during and after the persecution, brought tears to her eyes. Reading about the cruel persecution of those days and the deaths of the missioners, however, did bring solace and peace into her daily life.  The exchange of letters among the missioners, accomplished under the most trying circumstances imaginable, showed their love for God and for the people which is impossible to express with words. To answer his question more directly, she said that the study of the martyrs was like being near a warm stove during a cold winter's night; it inspired her to love more. Rather than teaching just the history of the martyrs, she explained that focusing on the details of their lives helps us to live with more enthusiasm and joy. She told him it was no exaggeration to say that she has fallen in love with the martyrs.

On the way home on the bus, the columnist found himself musing that now, close to 200 years since the persecution, would be a good time to return to God. The day at the shrine, he said, had been sunny, with a gentle breeze, just like the days, according to historical records, during which the martyrs met their death.

That breeze entered his own being, the columnist said, and seemed to invite him to pattern his life after the lives of the martyrs. The professor mentioned her unrequited but steadfast love for the martyrs. Like the professor's love he hopes that his feeling is not some passing sentiment but a permanent attitude that will be with him as he relates with everyone he meets, and that it will last until he is called by God.     
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Loving but not in Our Way

Can there be a more tormenting experience for a mother than to hear that her child has attempted or committed suicide? Recently a mother received such news: a phone call from a hospital doctor informing her that "the crisis was over," but that her son will continue to need hospital care. When she was allowed to see him later that day, the face of her child, a 2nd-year middle school student, was pale but peaceful. In his farewell note to his parents and younger sibling, he said he was sorry for not having been any help to them.

The Sogang University professor who discusses the incident in her column in the Peace Weekly mentions that the boy often did  cause trouble. Frequently impetuous and unable to accept being unfairly treated, he would quickly resort to using his fists to settle an argument. The mother, who regularly attended parent-teacher meetings, would apologize for her son's unruly behavior, and on one occasion, when he had ruptured the ear drum of a classmate, she kneeled  before the student, and asked him to forgive her son.

Her son's school marks would fluctuate from very good to very bad, usually dependent on his emotional life, provoking anger from his father, who would then ask him if he knows how difficult it is for him to support the family. And does he know how much it costs to send him to the academy. And if this is the best he can do, why not give up.
 
The mother's more benign responses usually focused on urging her son to study more, which she did frequently. When he said he didn't want to go to the academy, she would ask how was he going to make a living as an adult. There was no conversation with the child to find out what he wanted; it was always about what the parents wanted for him. He would at times kick the walls of his room and bang his head against the wall, which she passed off as prompted by the onset of puberty. She doesn't remember that she ever had a heart-to-heart talk with him.

In the dark hospital room where her son was recovering she shed many tears. Thinking of the role she played in causing his rebellious behavior and attempted suicide, her attitude toward him changed completely. She finally came to the conclusion that his life was the thing she cared most about in her own life.

No longer taking the initiative but determined to support her son, she changed into a person whose new relationship with her son could be described as "being a step behind and no longer out in front." The boy soon began to make judgements and decisions on his own.

The professor mentioned in her column three ways for parents to support their children. One way is "to be out in front of the child," leading the child according to what the parents want for their child, which means the child has no life of his own. The second way is "to walk together with the child," sharing the child's experiences. The problem with this second way is that the child learns to depend upon the parents for everything. The third way is "to be behind the child," putting everything into the child's hands. This is a slower way, using the trial and error method, but the child learns self-reliance and creativity with this third way.

The professor sums up her account by saying the mother realized that by dying to herself, the son could live more authentically, more as his own person. She learned that by ridding herself of her methods of loving and taking a step back to watch, and when necessary stepping in to help, was a wiser way to love. Our society is a difficult place for our youngsters to find their way, the professor says. But not because there is a lack of love. It's because we demand that love be expressed in our own personal way.

The End does not Justify the Means

In a recent criminal case, the judge sentenced an industrialist to three years in prison, although what he had done he considered a good thing. The judge said he could not justify unlawful means to achieve a good end. In the words of the editorial in the Catholic Times, echoing a well-known moral principle: The end does not justify the means.

This is a basic principle of Catholic teaching on morality. If the means to achieve a goal are not good, no matter how good our intention may be and no matter how good the end to be achieved may be, the means to achieve that end is morally not permitted.                                                     
 
We often see many cases where we justify what we do by the good end we hope to achieve. A Korean proverb states: Earn your money like a dog and spend it like a prime minister. This seemingly puzzling advice can be understood in at least two ways. Positively: No matter how humble the work you do to earn a living, spend it wisely. And not so positively: It doesn't make any difference the way you earn your money but spend it wisely. This second interpretation is the way many understand the proverb and justify the use of questionable means to achieve their goals.

This understanding can be seen by the way we look upon life issues and the influence on our thinking of a materialistic mindset. That the judge affirmed by his sentence that the end does not justify the means is a good sign for our society, and should be highly commended. Not to be concerned with the means we use to achieve a goal is not a sign of a healthy society. The end, no matter how worthwhile it may be, does not justify a means that disregards the moral code, and we as citizens should be working to see that this principle is upheld in society.

We are bombarded with all types of theories that often justify any action, provided that our intention is good. This is a reason for many of our problems in politics, education and religion. As long as our focus is only on the perceived good end, ignoring the morality of the means to achieve that end, we know what is likely to result from acquiescing to this way of thinking.  With some serious thought, forgetting the self and thinking of the common good, we can arrive at a proper understanding of ends and means that would easily clear up the confusion surrounding this sometimes contentious issue.

The Fruits of Trust

A priest writes in the Catholic Digest how he wanted to meet the teacher he had in first-year grammar school. He was told he could find the teacher by going to the I love School website, but learned that the teacher had been retired for many years and no other information was available.

He was convinced he would find her because of his great desire. A woman he knew, whose husband worked at the department of education, after a week of searching gave the priest the address and telephone number.

The teacher, surprised at the call, was happy to hear from a student she had taught some 43 years ago. Eager to find how he had fared during all those years since first grade, she agreed to meet him.

The reason he wanted to meet the teacher came from a talk he had heard.  The lecturer said we all want to receive trust, which is often the reason we need to show trust toward others. He told the story of a famous convict, who after many thefts, prison stays and escapes, ended his life in prison.  As a child the convict one day did not bring crayons to school, and the teacher told him that even if he had to steal them, he should have brought crayons to class. This was the reason, the convict said, that started him on his road of crime. Not once did he ever receive a pat on the back during his schooling. The story reminded the priest of his own experience with crayons.

His  family was very poor, he says, and he too did not have have any crayons for art class. He would always have to use the crayons of the student seated next to him in class. This was alright for one or two times, but he didn't feel right doing it continually, so he asked his mother for money to buy the crayons. He  was shy and during art class always felt stressed, he says, so he decided to handle the situation by telling his mother that without the crayons he was not going to school.

What mother would not buy crayons for their children? he asks. Though knowing she had little money to spend for such things, he did not go to school the next day, which prompted his mother to give him a good flogging. That night he cried bitterly at the unfairness of it all. Besides not having the crayons, which he thought he should have, he was now being beaten for making this simple request. When his mother made it up to him by putting medicine on his legs and consoling him, his anger subsided but he was still fearful of going to school the next day.

How was he going to explain being absent? And how would the teacher react? he kept wondering.  He went to school with a heavy heart. The teacher, seeing his awkwardness and dispirited attitude, quietly hugged him. At that moment, he said, he was freed from fear. The trust from the teacher made all the difference, and he returned to his cheery self.

From that time on, he had a great deal of trust in teachers. If he had not received that affirmation, he wonders what would have happened to him and whether he would now have a correct outlook on life.

Trusting another is a sign of love, he says. If you are only trusted when you do the right thing and not trusted when you do something wrong, that is not a sign of love. It is especially when you do something wrong, and someone still shows trust in you that you will be affected, often leading to a new and more trusting way of life.  This, he concludes, is what the teacher did  for him.

A Moment Never to be Erased

Every other week a dentist travels to the St. Joseph Clinic to help the homeless and the poor who need dental work. He writes about this voluntary service in a recent issue of the Korean Catholic Digest. Offering to help the poor did not come easy, he said. He felt ill-equipped to provide such care. His life was unexceptional, and a few years before, he had lost almost all of his possessions, which made him lose confidence in himself. How could he even attempt to help others, he asked himself, when he could not manage his own life.

He was also plagued by the question that kept coming to mind: How could all those who volunteer their services do it for free? He found it difficult to understand; he knew that even a charity hospital has difficulty providing free service. Thinking there must be an explanation, he checked out the clinic using the Internet. And while reading what he could find in other media, he learned of the death of the founder, who began the clinic in 1987. He was a well-known doctor with an exceptional personal history. He had given up his private practice, his possessions and even marriage, to work full-time at the clinic--helping the sick who could not afford to pay for medical treatment--until his death by cancer. He felt embarrassed by the negative thoughts he had about the clinic.

He soon offered his services to the clinic and was surprised to learn of the uncertainty that life holds for so many people who must live without financial security. Some of his patients were orphans from the very beginning of their lives; some because of sickness or accident were separated from their family; some because of the immorality of a spouse left home. Even eminent persons in their fields of endeavor, such as presidents of corporations in difficult straits, were forced to come to St. Joseph's or similar clinics. He would reflect, he said, on how circumstances could get so bad that we end up in such straits. He even wondered, at times, if he came to the clinic to help or to learn about life.

Working late one evening he heard the music from a Mass being celebrated in a room separated from his only by a folding partition.  Hearing the hymns being sung he said it felt as if he were somehow in heaven while working on his patient on earth.  

On one occasion, planning to operate on the socket  of a tooth of a patient who was not able to eat because of the pain, he noticed from the X-rays a tumor next to the tooth he would be working on. He removed the tumor and then worked on the socket of the tooth. Profuse bleeding soon filled the area of the mouth he was working on, which brought to mind past experiences that proved to be difficult, so with a heavy heart he checked all vital signs and continued the operation. At the same time, a Mass was beginning in the adjacent room. After the final suturing he had a desire to receive communion; all the worries now gone, he was at peace.  

One of the dental assistants opened the folding partition, and he entered the room where Mass was taking place, approached the altar and received communion. The feeling he had at that moment, he said, has never been erased.