Marriage
Encounter, a popular movement within the Korean Church, was covered
recently by the Peace Weekly, as it profiled three couples who attended
the weekend program in the Seoul diocese. They said they learned a lot
about the value of dialoguing during the weekend.
One
couple, ethnic Koreans from China, took a four-hour plane ride to
attend the weekend. The wife said she was a tourist guide working in
China and had met a Korean on a visit to China, who looked exceptionally
peaceful. When she asked her for the reason, she said she had a good
relationship with her husband because of attending a Marriage Encounter
weekend. She gave the care of their seven-year-old child to others,
after overcoming the initial opposition of her husband, and they
traveled to Korea for the ME weekend. Her relationship with her husband,
she said, was neither good nor bad, just so-so.
During
the weekend, however, by participating in loving dialog with her
husband, she shed many tears. She realized she did not know the basics
of how to communicate: looking into the heart of the other to understand
the other--that is what she learned, and that, she said, is what it's
all about. The husband thought that money was the answer to everything,
but learned that you don't buy love with money. They are not in the
least sorry for the money spent for the trip and the weekend. They
received more than they imagined: the key to living a happy life.
Another
couple came for the weekend from Australia. They lived with the wife's
mother and when the mother died recently, the pain of the loss was
unbearable for the wife. But instead of getting closer to her husband,
she spent a great deal of time at the church, which upset her husband,
causing a great deal of bickering between them. Her older sister
recommended the ME weekend. At the beginning of the weekend, she said
she resisted whatever was suggested. She did not follow the
instructions given and wrote letters to her husband that brought tears
to her eyes, realizing that she hadn't lived as she should have. In the
privacy of their room, she said she embraced her husband and cried
profusely.
The
husband said that for 45 years he had not been able to rid himself of
his impetuous temperament. He said he had no reason to dislike his wife
but things of no importance would often be the reason for fighting. He
had no idea of what dialogue was about, but could only resort to
bullying his way in the home. He said he learned the meaning and the
importance of dialogue during the weekend.
The
third couple, married for 50 years, was considered a well-matched pair,
with no serious problems. The wife mentioned she wished she knew about
the ME weekend earlier in life.
They
were not used to expressing their love for each other, she said, but
kept it inside. Expressing affection in words and actions seemed
awkward and embarrassing. In the home, talking about the children was
considered enough dialogue. Now, by talking to each other to understand
the other, she said, they were able to find an opening to a new way of
life. At their age, however, she said the decision to attend the weekend
did not come easy, fearing it would be awkward for the others, much
younger, to have a much older couple in the group. But a lot was
learned, she said. We now exchange loving words, often.
Abuse of the elderly is the topic
of a recent Peace Weekly article. June 15th has been designated World
Elder Abuse Awareness Day by the United Nations. In Korea, there
are 24 organizations whose goal is to protect our elderly. In 2010,
there were 3068 abusive incidents reported, and in recent
years, there has been an increase in these numbers. When one remembers
that
most of the abuse comes from children, it is easy to understand why
this is greatly under-reported.
The
abuse may be physical,
mental, sexual, financial. It may entail violence, neglect or even
abandonment. There are a variety of ways in which it can be seen. Even
the
refusal to go to a hospital for treatment or refusing necessary
attention,
which is the neglect of self, comes under this heading.
Those
who have studied the issue see much of this as handed down from
a climate of violence within the family or from neglect of the children when they should have
been nurtured. The break-up of families is also a cause, and when the
children come under the care of the grandparents, the resentment often
shows up in the abuse of the grandparents.
To
prevent this, the
article mentions the need for the elderly to prepare for their old age.
For the elderly to think that by raising and educating their children
the children now have to take care of them is the kind of thinking that
has to be discarded. Parents should not depend, the article strongly
advises, on the
financial help of the children, who in most cases are intensely involved
with caring for their
own children, and taking on any additional financial burden is bound to
be extremely difficult.
The so-called Kangaroo and NEET (Not in
Education, Employment or Training) Generation--those in their thirties who are receiving help
from their parents--are increasing, which tends to create the conditions leading to even more parental abuse.
There
is a need to acquaint the public of these conditions and the
help needed by those who are being abused; this will require educating
the public. The stubbornness of the younger generation and their
blindness to traditional cultural values are also problems
here. The article cites Sirach 25:6: "The crown of old men is wide
experience; their glory the fear of
the Lord," and urges the young to remember that wisdom that comes
with old age.
The
respect that Asians traditionally have had for their elders
should be remembered and passed on to the children. Filial piety has an
important place in our culture and should not be forgotten. If this
alone could be kept alive in the culture, we would see less cases of
abuse.
A religious sister who is involved in this work
says: "A child becomes an adult and then becomes old. Consequently, the
old person is what we too will become. We need to realize that respect for our
elders is respect for ourselves, and prepare for a culture that
will have respect for all of us."
In Korea today, the children of
the elite in society are making sure their children are getting the best
possible education available. A very natural desire of all parents. But
recently the mass media has revealed examples of the lack of fair play
in securing entrance to the better schools. A priest-professor at Sogang
University, in the View from the Ark, writes about this tendency
in society, and cites one example of a family who took their child out
of a famous middle school, after the press made much of the acceptance,
sending the child to China for schooling.
Among
the power elite are those that will send their children to study in
the States, but presently consider it more important to send their
children to China. Study of the Chinese language is becoming
increasingly more popular around the world today. He mentions hearing
that the royal family of Spain is teaching their children Chinese, and
the elite of the United States are employing Chinese wet nurses for
their children. Not only in Korea but in many parts of the world fluency
in Chinese is an investment in the new culture.
Parents,
by taking these measures, believe they are helping their children to
live more successfully in the future. They are aware that Mencius'
mother moved three times to make sure her child would have the best
education possible. Korean parents have this same concern: out-of-school
studies and sending them to study overseas are only hampered by their
financial condition.
The
professor has one question concerning all of this: What do the parents
hope to achieve by this zeal for education? What do they want their
children to become?
For some years, he was a member of a non-governmental organization working in East Timor when it was under the trusteeship of the
United Nations. He said that he learned a great deal about values and
experience, and their importance in life. Persons not having experienced
living in a colony, with poverty and tyranny being daily affairs, don't
know, he says, how dangerous it is to control the workings of a small
weak country. Korea has had the experience and can contribute to
building bridges of communication from the rich to the poor countries
around the world.
To
be players in the world of the future, he believes that knowing
Chinese, English, and even Japanese will be important. However, he
stresses that even more important than the languages will be the
mentality of the persons with these language skills, and it will be this
attitude that will have influence in society, an influence, he says,
that can be used to give life or to kill. Those who do not have empathy
for the weak, the dignity of persons, and the common good are not the
kind of people society needs; they can easily be concerned only about
themselves.
The
priest reminds us of the rich man and Lazarus, in Luke 16:19-31. The
rich man never saw Lazarus.
Often the weak are stepped on to benefit the strong. Consequently, the
talents and capabilities that many possess can be used as weapons to harm the weak.
In today's Korea it is said that
living a life that is happy and rewarding is more of a concern than
living a life without enough to eat. We all are seeking a life of
happiness. Past generations often saw their situation in life, good or
bad, as their lot in life, their destiny, and abandoned themselves to
this thinking. This is not the case today. Most Koreans lived through
the Japanese occupation, the horrors of war, famine, poverty, and the
loss of human rights. Today they give thanks for the freedom they enjoy.
A
priest-professor at the Incheon seminary, in an article for the
Kyeongyang magazine, discusses what we have left behind and what we are
now facing. The poverty of the past has, for the most part, disappeared
but the social evils still with us, he says, are poisoning all of us; a
case perhaps of the 'selfish gene' becoming prominent in our society, he
suggests. Fortunately, there has been an awakening to the dangers of
such selfishness, as we become more aware that we are intimately related
to our natural environment. The
problems are many: the breakup of families, contempt for life,
confusion of moral values, and the destruction of our environment, which
has forced us, he says, to acknowledge and face our common existence. A
sign of the times, he points out, is our search for more efficient ways
to narrow the gap between our ideals and the harsh reality, in the hope
that our concerted efforts will help save our environment. Where does
our faith enter in? he asks.
He
begins by making a distinction between a faith life that is of the
senses, and one that has a sense for the sacred. The former is
attracted to the externals: a beautiful church, the quiet, the
liturgical practices, and the like. He believes this kind of attraction
tends to level off. When one searches only for what they like, there is a
danger of being an opportunist. Often when the Church does not show an
interest in a person's concerns, the person leaves and becomes involved
in his or her own spiritual pursuits.
This
is not what a true spiritual life is all about, he says. Our senses,
which can't
see or describe God, have to be purified to have a sense for the sacred,
so we can meet and feel God's presence. When we realize that our
physical senses are being manipulated by the mass media, we have to be
on our
guard, be able to discern, and have the courage to say no to its
enticements.
We
often think we are able to determine what is good for us, but the
facts
may be quit different. We are often addicted or brain-washed by our
society. And even if we know this is happening we often do not have the
mental strength to prevent it. We can face life in desperation, and try
to deceive
ourselves but the selfish gene continues to expand its influence, he
says. The
mass media is so influenced by money and consumerism that we
also unconsciously follow along, mesmerized by it and losing our
connection to the
scared.
In
this year of Faith we
want our sense of the sacred to grow. The apostles, in Luke 17:5, ask
our
Lord: "Increase our faith." Jesus answered that if they had the faith
the
size of a mustard seed, they would be able to do extraordinary things,
our senses being made complete by our life of faith. To have a sense of
the
sacred, the priest advises us to kneel before God and confess that we
have lost the way. It will take time, he says, just as it does to get a
feel for a sport, art or
music. He asks us to reflect on whether our religious life is mostly of
the
senses or whether our senses are being influenced by the sacred.
Living
with a little joyful uncomfortableness, we will save the
earth. These are the words of a seven-year-old kindergarten student
whose words appeared in a recent Peace Weekly article. For many years
there have been many movements around the world to cut down on our
consuming habits, and we have seen some satisfying results. A small
segment of the population in Korea is making an effort to change the
way they look at the environment and to follow up with practical
measures. .
The boy in the article introduces himself as a
member of a family of 5, with two older sisters, and then tells us what
his family has done to live more environmentally conscious:
"We
don't have a television. When my parents were out, I turned on the TV
and it went on the blink. My father said that to fix it would cost as
much as to buy a new
one, so they decided not to buy. In
the beginning, it was difficult. I couldn't watch my cartoons but with
the passage of time it was no big deal. My parents put a bookcase where
the TV used to be, and very naturally our family came together to read.
Now, if I don't hear my two sisters reading out loud in the evening, I
find it difficult
to go to sleep.
Our family has also become experts at
saving electricity and water; it surprises our neighbors. When in the
morning we go to the toilet to urinate, my sisters go first and I go
last. When this is done we save a great deal of water, needing only three
bottles of water the size of a milk bottle; that is all that is needed
to flush in the morning.
We have also cut done the use of
electricity in the same way. When
our father turns off the computer, the girls do the same. It would be
unheard of to have a light on in a room not used, or a cord still in the
socket when the light or an appliance is not being used. Mother says
this will save about 20 or 30 dollars
a month. We eat only food that is grown
environmentally friendly, and do not drink any beverages from the
market. And mother makes her own yogurt, which beats anything you can
buy.
My
father is a middle school teacher of English, but he's not sending us
to any academies to learn English. He feels that a child should not have
to spend all his time studying but have plenty of time to play. He
makes one exception about avoiding all academies, for he
hopes to have a family band someday: I am going to an academy to learn
the piano. My father is in charge of the church band.
Do you
know what makes our family different? We are putting into practice the
joyful uncomfortableness I have learned in kindergarten. With a little
uncomfortableness, we are able to save the earth from getting warmer
and being destroyed. When the earth is sick, what is going to happen
to us? he asks.
When a
child can know this, and be as concerned as he is, shouldn't everyone
else as well?
A large parish in Seoul is no
longer able to have Religious Sisters
working in the parish because of the decrease in the numbers entering
the convents. A pastor has tried visiting convents to help in
recruiting more sisters, but they shake their heads, the sisters are no
longer
there, they say. Parishes have to use laypeople to do the work the
sisters did in the past. An article in the secular Chosun Ilbo newspaper
discusses the problem.
They
mention a congregation of sisters with only 10 members and a short
history, which has extended the entrance age to 40, to make it more
attractive to older
women, but only one has entered in 10 years. One community with 35
members hasn't had an applicant for the last 4 years. Another community
managing a children's home once had 6 sisters working in the home; this
has been
reduced to two, with lay people taking the place of the sisters.
A
graph shows that during the peak years, the early 1990s, 857 novices
were in training. In 2012 only 210 were in training. Although the number
of Catholics is increasing, the number of total
sisters is decreasing. In the year 2009, there were 10,199 sisters; last
year 10,023.
However, the number of priests continues to increase. In the
year 2003 there were 3396 priests. In 2012 this increased to 4578. Each
year there is an increase of from 100 to 160.
There are
111 women religious communities in Korea, according to the article, and
outside of the large communities, which continue to have applicants,
almost 60 percent of the communities have had no applicants. The larger
communities are having a larger proportion of those entering in the
elderly category. In one community that began with a
membership of 140, forty have retired.
What
has happened in the West, beginning with the 1960s, is now appearing in
Korea. When the number of priests were down, the sisters' role
became more important. Now with the increase
of clergy and the welfare work of the Church and the country's own
efforts, the need is not as pressing as in the past.
Another
reason is that single women now have many opportunities to work in
society. One of the proposals suggested to remedy the situation is to
accept women who are older, or have lost their husbands because of death
and
have finished raising their family. But the time for this may have to
wait for later, many believe. Today the opportunity to serve the poor
and the handicapped
is available outside the auspices of the Church.
Not all the congregations, however, are having
difficulty. There are communities of cloistered sisters who have a
restricted number of members, and these communities have a
waiting list for those who want to enter.
A
teaching
sister at the Catholic University does not see this as all
negative. In the past, the opportunity of doing work for the
underprivileged was limited. Now there are many, she reminds us, who,
guided by Gospel values but not affiliated with any Church or religious
community, are doing this much needed work.
The secular Chosun Ilbo newspaper
carried a story of two Catholics the Church in Korea wants to make
saints. One of them, Hwang Sa-yong, was a member of the noble class who
had the ear of the king and was on the fast road to world success but
gave it all up for his religious faith that he accepted as a convert.
The fledgling church was being persecuted by the Yi dynasty for its
teachings against the traditional ways of the country. The Church was
seen as subversive and the government wanted it eradicated. Hwang, who
wrote his appeal for help on silk that was to be sent to the Bishop of
Beijing, was asking the western countries for assistance. When his
message was discovered, he was imprisoned and beheaded as a traitor.
Even
a relative on his wife's side, the famous Chong Yak-yong, a Catholic
who had great
influence in the early Church and in the larger
society, was mentioned in the article as agreeing that he had been a
traitor to the country. But
in recent years many have come to see him with different eyes, and he is
on the new list presented to Rome for
canonization. A symposium on Hwang Sa-yong showed consensus that
he died a martyr's death. The usual thinking is that he betrayed
his county for his religion. But if we look closely at the history of
that time, the article says we will come to a different conclusion.
One
participant said Hwang was desiring to save the country, that he wanted
a just society, and that the silk message was a call for the human
rights of an oppressed minority, against the tyranny of the government. Another participant agrees that
the majority of our citizens see Hwang fomenting military intervention
and a traitor, but if we acknowledge that the powers within the
country were infringing on human dignity and the common good, he acted in self-defense of the rights of people.
Ahn
Jung-geun, the other candidate for sainthood, while in prison in
China after killing Ito Hirobumi, the Resident General of Korea, when
asked
by the Japanese police chief, how could a Catholic kill someone?
answered "When someone takes away one's country and kills its citizens
and we stand passively looking on, we are committing a greater sin." In
his autobiography, he said he prayed daily that he would be successful
and when he succeeded, gave thanks. However, Archbishop Mutel
(1854-1933), the Vicar Apostolic of Seoul, is quoted in the article as
saying "A Catholic does not take part in killing. Ahn Jung-geun is a
person who has left his religious beliefs."
A different opinion was expressed by Bishop Rho of Seoul, who in 1946 (the year the country was liberated from the servitude to Japan) said a
Mass for the deceased patriot, which brought a change in the thinking
about Ahn. In 1993, Cardinal Kim in his sermon at a Mass for Ahn said "He
fought against the encroachment of the Japanese and to save the country.
It was self defense." The Cardinal apologized for the way the Church
had looked upon Ahn for so many years. The present archbishop of Seoul, who has
formally begun petitioning Rome for the canonization of Ahn, has said "The
patriot fought for independence; he wanted his act to be united with the ideals of
Jesus, wanting to be his tool. He gave us a good example as a
Christian."
"What
comes first: the Nation or One's Faith?" was the headline for the
article. It was sure to make many of its readers give thought to
something that would otherwise not have entered their
minds; yet the martyrs had to deal with that question. Most of the
readers of the secular press would find a contrast in the motivation of
these two martyrs. Hwang seemed to put religion first, while Ahn found the motivation to fight for the country in his religion.
