Counseling in all Catholic Parishes

There is a need, says an article in the Catholic Times, to set up permanent places in parishes for counseling. Many of our Catholics are seeking psychological and spiritual help but not only are there few counseling centers but the number of those who have the training to help are few. It becomes a problem of supply and demand.

In our complicated society  our problems are not limited to the psychological realm, but include the spiritual as well, perhaps both being best addressed together. The solution suggested would designate certain parishes in a deanery, or some other area, where qualified persons, on a voluntary basis, will be available for those  seeking help. At  present, such places that offer qualified volunteers the opportunity to serve this much needed function is missing.

Where this function is available as part of parish life, not only Catholics are served, but everyone in the nearby vicinity looking for healing is also served. As of now it depends on the disposition of the parish leaders whether to allow this or not, with many believing it should be universally systematized within the Korean Church.

A priest of the  Korean Catholic Counseling Psychological Association is quoted as saying: "At present, within and outside the Church, the precise nature of the qualifications of the volunteers has to be solved to the satisfaction of the public. The continuing  education of the members and support for their activities will  not only be helpful to the individual but to parish life as a whole." Less than ten percent of those who are qualified, he said, are now working in the diocese, in parishes, and in the institutions of the Church.

Many of the dioceses have successfully incorporated these programs into the infrastructure of the diocese. One of the leaders in the Seoul diocese hopes that in each of the parishes there will be a permanent place for qualified counselors to spend some time during the week to help those that want it.  There will continue to be a need, the priest says, to gain the public's confidence and support that psychological and spiritual counseling is more necessary than ever before, as living in the modern world becomes more challenging and stressful for all of us.

External Beauty and Society

Korea leads the world in the percentage of the population who have had cosmetic surgery. In Seoul, it is estimated that 20 percent of the women have undergone some type of cosmetic surgery. The possible changes are many, with doctors able to do pretty much what the patients want. Helping to enhance the emotional life of someone who is troubled by their appearance by providing a more attractive appearance is a modern phenomenon. And the public's acceptance of the procedure is growing: who would not want a more attractive appearance? 

The stigma once associated with the procedure seems to have disappeared, and those who have had the procedure openly discuss what they have done. One beauty queen, after receiving some  criticism on taking unfair advantage of her competitors with her surgery, freely admitted she never said she was born beautiful.

The women of Korea are, by most standards, considered beautiful, and when a woman feels less than beautiful the prospects of feeling comfortable living in Korea may not be easy. "La bella figura" (a fine appearance) is obviously not  only an Italian trait; Koreans are also no slouches in their desire to put forward the best they can be. In fairness to the Italians, the expression also means presenting a good image and proper behavior, but it's understood that physical appearance is what comes first to the eyes of the beholder, and perhaps is the most important trait to have.

In the "Seoul Catholic Bulletin," a short article describes how women have no difficulty in competing with the men when it comes to higher civil-service  examinations. However, the writer mentions an article he recently read that left him bewildered. Many women who have been among the elite in their field, passing the government higher examinations and entering the Judicial Research and Training Institute, have opted for cosmetic surgery. To find a job, even in fields requiring a high degree of competence, where appearance would seem not to matter, ability is not the only asset, he was surprised to learn, that is desired by the employers. The competition is stiff and to lure clients the appearance of the lawyer is of no small value.
 
As Catholics it is not easy to talk about the subject of cosmetic surgery. It is often a very subjective area of a person's life, which can make a big difference in the quality of life that develops after the surgery. What can be said is that vanity, a lack of personal self-worth, wanting to impress, and a desire to heal psychic wounds may not be the best of reasons for surgery. They may be very good reasons to work with less invasive and more rewarding internal procedures for the desired changes we would like to see in our lives.

Korean Catholic Missioners

Korea is among the leaders in sending Christian missioners overseas, and many say they will be number one in a short time. The missioners they have in mind are the Protestant missioners.  Catholics have begun to make inroads but at present there are only about 700 priests, religious and lay people working in various countries of the world. A Korean bishop has stressed the importance of  missionary work and has asked Catholics to support their work. 

One of the lay missioners in Chile writes in Bible and Life  about some of the difficulties of the life. He returned recently from a meeting, and  as soon as he arrived home, he lit the stove; his hands and feet were so cold it was more than he could bear, he writes. His wife gave him a massage but with  no improvement. He looked for a needle to prick his finger, and not finding one only made matters worse.

He was preparing for a retreat with his fellow missioners and was to pick them up the next morning.  Would he be able to go? he wondered. The  thought  bothered him, as he sat on the sofa and pondered the options. 

He was a member of the navy before he became a missioner and knows what it means to be busy.  Whatever he was given to do he would do it to the best of his ability. But suddenly the thought came to him: Was he living the way he was thinking, or thinking in the way he  was living? He was, he admitted, unskilled in knowing how to rest, and his personality didn't help. He often sought the leisure to rest but when it came he didn't know what to do, and then felt guilty for wasting time. He knew this was his psychological problem.

He had often heard that a healthy missioner's life was composed of four elements: prayer, study, action and leisure. All four, he knew, were equally important, but for him he realized that taking advantage of leisure time required some training. He wasn't adept with small talk; games and play were not enjoyable; reading was enjoyable but after reading his mind couldn't rest, and travel required money. What could he do that would rest the head, heart and body? He sat on the sofa trying to rid himself of all thoughts--it was difficult. He recalled that this was the first time in his life that he ever attempted an hour of doing absolutely nothing.

That night he tried to sleep on the sofa but succeeded in turning and tossing on the sofa all night. Though in the morning, he felt that he would be able to go to the retreat. He realized that to take advantage of leisure required an act of the will. He wondered whether he would continue as a missioner in the future or return to a life back in Korea for a  short period of honey-like leisure. It was a matter he decided to discuss with the Lord during the retreat.

Seeing the Korean Church through the Eyes of the Martyrs

A Korean novelist, Han Su-san, who recently retired from teaching Korean literature, has published an historical novel on the lives of Korean martyrs: Their Name--More Beautiful than a Flower. Installments from the book were serialized in the "Bible and Life" magazine.

The novel, reviewed by both Catholic papers and one secular paper, begins with the history of the Church in Korea and traces the lives of individual martyrs for over one hundred years to the time of the agreement with France that put a stop to the  persecution and allowed religious freedom. During  that time there were four long periods of  persecution and the death of from 12 thousand to 13 thousand Catholics.  

The book begins with Yi Seung-hun (Peter), the first baptized Catholic. He went on a diplomatic mission with his father to Beijing China and was asked by Yi Byeok, who introduced him to Catholicism, to bring back books on Catholicism. He was baptized in China in 1784 and on his return, meeting with others interested in Catholicism, the Church had its beginning. The meeting place is now occupied by the Myeongdong  Cathedral in Seoul. Han mentions that those of the upper class, the yangbans, were meeting in the home of a commoner and when the police came they arrested the commoner and let all the yangbans leave, with a warning. This was the first repression of Catholics in Korea, which he says has been the way things have been for centuries. During the persecutions it was usually the commoners and women who suffered the most.

The author, baptized in 1989, started studying ten years earlier, before an incident with the government prevented him from continuing his studies.  He wrote a serialized novel in one of the Seoul newspapers that satirized the president, which led to his being picked up, along with others, and tortured. He had been studying to be a Catholic at that time but had to discontinue because of the government interference. It was during his own imposed exile in Japan and making a trip to Baekdu Mountain that he was finally baptized by a Korean Catholic priest.

After his baptism he had a desire to learn about the Korean martyrs and began to study their lives, including traveling to where they had lived, and literally walking in their footsteps. There are not many books like Han's, written in a simple, approachable style, that gives a layperson's view of the martyrs as seen through their own eyes. He has written, he says, with a "333 understanding"--knowing that his book will be one third less profitable, but giving him one third more joy in writing the book, and one third more satisfaction in  experiencing God in his writing.

Noblesse Oblige Obligation

On the national holiday of Chuseok, the Church used the gospel taken from Luke (12:15-22) to remind us of the foolish rich farmer who, because he had such a great harvest, tore down his barn and built a larger one to accommodate his abundant harvest--only to be called to his reward shortly after.

In contrast to the foolish farmer of the gospel, we often hear of the Korean wise rich farmer, Choi, from Gyeonggiu. The booklet "Salt Pot" gives a little commentary about the Choi family and its family precepts. 

The Choi family seems to exemplify the concept noblesse oblige (from those that have much, much is expected). For over 300 years, they were blessed with many material blessings and in Korean, you often hear that the wealth of a family begins to dissipate after three generations, but in the Choi family their wealth continued for over 300 years. The family is often  used as a sign that material wealth when used well will bring material blessings.   
The family precepts are listed as:

1) Do not take a government post higher than what is received at the primary state exam because of the problems that come with power and pride.  They are asked to remember what happened in their own  family with the abuse of power.

2) Do not pile up a fortune that exceeds ten thousand bags of rice.

3) During a year of bad harvests do not add to your fortune.

4)Treat those who come to you with kindness.

5) When a daughter-in-law comes to the Choi family, she is to wear cotton clothes for the first three years.

6) Let no one within 50 kilometers of the Choi family starve to death.

When you see this as a traditional Korean approach to wealth by one of their old families, it tends to show how this area of life has not developed in the way you would expect. In the Jewish tradition they have their Jubilee approach that would give everybody a new start every fifty years, but this also has ceased to exist. In our society, as in most societies of the world, the rich get richer and the poorer get poorer. The Choi family has done a great deal to show what was possible many hundreds of years ago: if  nothing else it helps to prick the consciences of the elite in our society.

The Fatigue Society

The modern age has been called the "Fatigue Society." By this is not meant the fatigue that comes from living a busy life, but the fatigue that arises in this busy life from not knowing what to select to do among the many things we would like to do, which can produce  pathologically induced feelings of tiredness. The seminary professor writing for the Kyeongyang magazine says we often hear the humorous phrase: "The idle man is dying of overwork."

In the past, work often brought on fatigue, but at least it was always clear what had to be done. The world we lived in was separated from the world of others, says the professor, and we could depend on our own society to reinforce our way of acting and to protect us from the threatening and dangerous world of the other.

Today's society has changed, he says. The values are no longer shared by  our society. What is of value is the personal vision and convictions of individuals. Other people are of little interest and somewhat of a burden. The family is no longer seen as a refuge but a hindrance to personal development. The individual and not the family is what is  important.

It used to be the imposition of rules--the can't dos of life--that  made life difficult, but today, the professor says it's not the negative rules of life that tend to overwhelm us but an over-abundance of the positive that brings on fatigue and many mental difficulties. Parents still support their children by giving them what they need, but parents often don't receive back the respect they had in the past. 

This is also seen, says the professor, in the life of the Church. Among Catholics, the Church was once seen as speaking for God. Sins and punishment were clear; the teaching and commandments were basically understood and leaving the Church was to put in danger your future life.

But all this is changing, he says. The old procedures are no longer considered valid to many Catholics, feeling themselves no longer bound by the old ways. One can follow, they believe, the teachings of Jesus without the Church, whose teachings are considered by some as outdated; a person's decisions and convictions are considered more important. Peace of mind has priority over working to evangelize society. The emphasis on the relativity of truth, while forgetting or denying its absolute character, has made the existence of the Church problematic, he says.

In the past the Catholic Church and atheism were in conflict. Today there are thousands of different beliefs that have tried to find the answers to the mysteries of life, pain and death.  No longer is Christianity unique among the religions. Which means, the professor believes, there has to be a difference in the way Christianity is presented. Stressing the  Commandments-- our obligations is  not going to do it. We are going to have to show what has been lost in the changes of society and the love God has shown to humanity and  creation.

Pope Francis, in Brazil during the World Youth Day, stressed that we must fight against an unhealthy reliance on money, on honors and pleasure, which seem to be the sole goals of many. The fight against our materialistic culture by the Church must be waged; without this encounter the Church will not have a  place to stand on. Yes, the professor admits, life for many has progressed, becoming more comfortable and enjoyable. We have, however, lost what  is important: joy, peace freedom, love and hope. The Church has to stress what we have lost, the professor says. We have to find the words that will move hearts, dispelling the darkness that encompasses so much of society.

Learning from the Protestant Minister

On the spiritual page of the Catholic Times, the priest-columnist remembers the day he paid his respects to the family of a friend whose mother had died. He arrived at the mortuary and, believing that a Mass would be consoling to the family, began to prepare for the Mass while the Christians were praying the office for the dead.

In the adjoining cubicle he heard the members of another grieving family singing hymns along with their minister. After the singing, they recited the Apostles' Creed, and the minister began preaching. The brief sermon was so moving, the priest says, that if one of the members from his mourning group  did not come to find him, he would have joined the minister's group.

What was it about the sermon that moved him? There was nothing new being said, the priest said, nothing philosophically interesting or with theological  depth. It was the minister's utter conviction, his earnestness and strength of voice, that moved him. The words of the minister carried so much clarity and sincerity that the natural fear of death simply disappeared on hearing the minister's convincing, reassuring voice. There seemed to be, the priest felt, no room left for the mourners to doubt that the deceased was resurrected.

He was embarrassed, he said. Here he was all set to say a Mass, and that would be it; the thought of giving a sermon never entered his mind. But thanks to the minister, he gave a short sermon, sharing with the members of the family the good news of the Resurrection. He noticed the tears in the eyes of some of the family members as they thanked him for the consoling words of his sermon.

Reflecting on his initial intention of just saying Mass, he admits that saying Mass is the easy consoling answer, especially in difficult times, but at the same time, he is also aware that it might not be enough to meet the needs of everyone. Deep feelings engendered by a death in the family may not always be addressed by only a Mass.