Learning to Live in South Korea

North Korean refugees in South Korea when allowed to talk about their problems in the South are often speaking about  difficulties with the culture of the South. One of them who is a college student and has been in the country for 5 years, writes about some of these difficulties in her column in the Catholic Times.

During the five years, she says, much has changed.  Having been born and educated in the  North, she finds many things here in the South strange and difficult to get accustomed to. One of most difficult would be the many different words of greeting:  hello...thank you...I'm  sorry. Why, she asks, is it so difficult for her to utter these words? They are not words she is accustomed to using, and so she has difficulty speaking them. When she hears these words she doesn't know how to reply, and avoids looking at the person.  Even though her head tells her to respond the lips will not  go along.

It is not that they do not have words of greeting in the North, but in the South one expresses their intentions  and thoughts so freely that it is difficult to make a response that is not awkward, she says.

Another problem develops when it comes to choosing. Those in the South also have problems with making selections, but with the writer  her problem is that she is fearful to  choose. In the North the education is the cramming method and she was brought up in a different social  structure than exists here in the South, and the opportunities to choose were not  many.  In a word, she says, they are not  practiced in the ways of choosing. When a friend asks: "What do you want to  eat, where do you want to go?"  Her constant answer is: "whatever you want."

In her first job in a market she uttered her words of greeting like a robot. It was difficult and when she got home she would practice this often to make it a habit. After a period of time this did become easier and more natural. Not only were the words of greeting easier to say but also the ability to express what she felt inside became easier.

Even when it comes to choosing, no longer does she have the problems of the past.  When asked does she want coffee or tea she readily answers: "I will have coffee". Her friends are surprised to see the change in her responses.

She has come a long way from what it was 5 years ago. Time  was necessary, but today  she is able to speak freely about her feelings and make the choices  that come her way. It did take time but today she feels she has made a successful transition  to life in the South.

How much the culture in which we live influences us is readily forgotten and yet the pressures and impact they have on our behavior is not small. What we think is our choice is not infrequently the influence of the culture, either in acquiescence or in opposition, and only rarely is it the act of a free and intelligent human being.

Bringing Peace to the World.

Few are the articles in the daily news, says a columnist writing  in the Catholic Times, that leave him with a good feeling. He wants to share some that have been particularly uplifting with his readers in View from the Ark.

A custom in the universities is to have the upper class students buy the meals for the younger students. Recently in one of the universities the younger students started a fund for the older students to help defray the cost. The donation drive was an original and charming idea started by the newbies.

This custom of having the older students buy a meal and liquor for the younger ones goes back some time. The older students have taken this in stride, and felt the new students  were worth the time and  effort. They were  innocent and entering a new world; showing concern was a way to help them in their transfer to the world of higher education, like a seedling needing care when transplanted. There was no need to repay this generosity but the desire to do so on the part of the new students was admirable, said the columnist.

At the same university last year a student put the words "How are you?" on a large poster on a bulletin board,  and from there it spread quickly to other colleges and even found its way outside the educational arena,  prompting students to speak about the problems they were having in society. This initiative also began inconspicuously  and spread quickly. From a very small beginning, big changes proceed and we see a more beautiful and peaceful society.

The columnist mentions that he is working in the Cardinal Kim's Research Center which uses the spirituality of the Cardinal in educational programs for adults and in character education programs for the youth. Our columnist has the responsibility of talking about peace and  its place in our lives.

This peace that the Cardinal talked about was not abstract or other worldly, the columnist points out, but a peace that we need now, a real  peace that can be experienced in our daily lives, a peace that everyone needs to live a human life, and is centered on treating everyone with the dignity they deserve. With this understanding we are making for a  peaceful society when we practice love, especially when shown to the most alienated and poor.

The Cardinal stressed that this type of love was to be carried out daily in our lives. This could be seen in the way the Cardinal lived his own life. The Cardinal, with his trademark smile, in meeting anyone would leave them with a feeling of warmth and ease. It was his everyday way of dealing with those he met.

In a word, everything we do, if done in the manner of Cardinal Kim, we will begin with the small things and do them well. And with these small changes in ourselves, we will be bringing peace to the entire world.

Korean Comfort Women

One of Korea's unresolved issues  is the Japanese failure to acknowledge the use of foreign women as sex slaves for the Japanese military. Japan says it was voluntary prostitution; it is easy to understand how angry these women must be on hearing this distortion of the truth. They are called 'comfort women' and continue to demonstrate in front  of the Japanese Embassy.
 
A representative of the group, "Catholic Women for a Changed World," recounts, in her article in With Bible, the abuse women, and their children, often suffer In wars. Women are the ones who feel the wrath of the enemy in the cruelest way, as soldiers caught up in the insanity of war satisfy their carnal appetites. In our Scriptures we can  see a number of cases where this is  graphically expressed.

These women who returned to their  country after being used as 'comfort women' for the Japanese soldiers, lived a life less than human. They were not able to speak about this period in their lives and  society showed little concern  and allowed them to  live in darkness.

In 1990 Protestant women took the lead and made the issue of the Japanese comfort women known to the world. One of the women in 1991, grandmother Kim, made her ordeal known in graphic detail. This courageous act of grandmother Kim opened up the way for other women to speak out about their experiences during the war. In response the 'Butterfly Donation Fund' was set up to help raise money to help women from all over the world who are being abused in war and in society.

On Wednesdays a number of women groups can be seen demonstrating peacefully in front  of the Japanese Embassy, asking Japan to recognize their part in the atrocities against women in the Second World War. These women, also in solidarity with other women in the world, are extending their hands to help  other abused women: the early forced marriages of girls at a young age, the women that are forced to undergo circumcision that is dangerous and life threatening, and women in tribal societies who are taken from the enemy and suffer sexual abuse and humiliation that is even difficult to imagine.  

This abuse of women, she says,  is also seen in Korea, with documentaries focusing on such abuse, which frequently occurs in families. To see these documentaries  brings tears to one's eyes, she says. One women wrote a book about the sexual violence that she suffered from her father and received  the  Stepping Stone Award. She left home and went to a  center for those who have suffered this violence. She mentioned the scars she had to endure and began to take counseling to undo the harm and slowly began to realize her worth. She hopes that others will read her book and again begin to live anew. The writer sends her applause to those  who have suffered this kind of pain and are willing to make it  known so that we will have solidarity with those who have suffered in this way.

Forgetting the Essential

On the spiritual page of the Catholic Times the columnist recounts the story of a religious group who had decided to spend an Easter Sunday,  after attending liturgy, playing sports on an Emmaus trip. The religious brother who was in charge of the outing went ahead to prepare for the time together of the 30 religious in the country. He  prepared all the necessary equipment:  nets, balls, bats, and so forth, and of course plenty of food for snacks.

While traveling to the site, the brothers, not having spent time together in this fashion for some time, were busy chatting , singing and eating. They were enjoying  the warm weather and their time together. The brother who had prepared for the sporting events felt satisfied that he had done what needed to be done to give everyone a enjoyable time, anticipating the surprise of the brothers when seeing all the equipment he had prepared.

Arriving at the playing grounds, they all changed into their sporting clothes and soccer shoes, and after loosening up the body with their stretching exercises, starting looking for the soccer balls.

The monastery on  these outings  usually spent time playing soccer, and in the evening eating pork ribs. These 30 young religious all were looking for the soccer balls. It was then that the brother religious who prepared all the equipment remembered that he had forgotten the most important item: the soccer balls. 

The superior  of the group laughingly said to him: "The tradition of the monastery is to play soccer until the players are completely bushed,  is it not! Your job is to have the group divide into teams, choose  the  referees and  let them enjoy themselves. You were busy about too many things and forgot what was  important."

One of the group took the van into town and after some time came back with some balls. That day they were only able to play soccer for a short period of time. The brother in charge of athletics was, of course, exasperated and humiliated. 

One who is responsible for a task wants to do their best, the columnist reminds us. There are times that a person thinks what  he considers important others will also. However, this thinking leaves no room for the different demands of others and we often experience friction and confusion as a result. This always begins with good intentions, but  it is not what others may want: one person's good deed turns out to be a problem for others.

The columnist concludes by offering some advice.  Before  we  plan  to act upon a thought or impulse we should discern  whether it is merely  personal  or something others would approve of.  This requires  give and take.  Dialogue  brings about relationship and is the  window to communicating and a necessity for mature growth. Do you have a good thought that has come to mind?  Then share it with another. This will arouse an even  better feeling.                                                                           

Those who Sing Pray Twice

Many of the older missioners in Korea remember when the Christians would be able to take some catechism answers and put it to song. This came as a surprise, but it was soon realized that this was a common way of learning  the catechism that dated back from the days of the persecution. They were so used to this type of learning that they could  use the name of the missioner and ad-lib musically  some words  of congratulations on his name day or extemporize musically on  some parish celebration.

The Theological Perspective  magazine introduces us to the Korean Catholic epic poem, "Sahyangga," that in the early years of the Church was often sung in learning the catechism. The article mentions Father Choi Yang-op the second Korean priest who spent a great deal of time devising ways to teach the catechism. The majority of the believers  at that time could not read the Chinese Bible or the Chinese devotional  books, and there were few books translated into Korean that could be used in teaching the catechism.

Father Choi devised a catechism for the believers which was transmitted by way of song, matching the Korean's feelings and sensibilities. He put the Catholic doctrine in a familiar poetic style that the Koreans found easy to learn and sing. This was made in a way to help non-believers  understand Catholicism and  to defend against those who were antagonistic towards Catholicism.

Through these literary devices Father Choi sought to refute the arguments of those who were antagonistic towards Catholicism. This also helped Catholics to meditate on Catholic dogma and reflect on their lives by bringing to mind the accusations of the enemies of the Church.  These songs reveal the thoughts of the Koreans in the late Joseon dynasty.

This precedes the introduction of Gregorian Chant and the hymns that are familiar to  Catholics. All the lines of the Sahyangga were based on the catechism. There is a phrase in Latin that says  those who sing are praying twice. The Sahyangga used the song's contents to reflect upon the particular judgement, general judgement, and heaven and hell which follow death.  This was closely associated with the spirituality of martyrdom. Here was a  catechism by which they learned the teaching  and also a way they could pray with the words by putting them into song and memorized.

Besides the Sahyangga there were other similar epics and didactic ways of teaching about Catholicisms in song. Since Koreans have always enjoyed singing, we can understand  why Father Choi Yang-op found it easy to use music as a way to teach the catechism. This has continued and can be observed at daily Mass in most of the parishes and mission stations, even when there is a small congregation present. The society at large is no different: there are a great number of "singing rooms," each equipped with a karaoke machine and a menu of songs.

Our Lack of Perfection helps us to be a Catalyst

A professor emeritus mentions in the diocesan bulletin that at times she feels  she is being shunned. At which time she becomes depressed and lost in her world. She considers herself to be like Lazarus, referred to in last Sunday's Gospel, being asked to come our of the tomb she finds herself in. The loneliness she feels may come from only a few words of criticism, but they  fill  her with shame that make her want to hide. Though not wanting to come out of her tomb, at the same time she does want to, and she's troubled by the contradiction.

She has been a teacher of chemistry for over half a century. During this time she has taught many and has come to the realization that the subject of chemistry has a lot to teach us. She has  often used the  insights she has gained from  teaching about chemistry to teach her students about life. Chemistry has taught  her to appreciate the teachings of Jesus at a  deeper level and has also helped her to learn  from her own personal  experiences in life.

She has written a book on the lessons she has learned, particularly the lesson she learned from a chemical reaction known as the "homogeneous catalyst," her meditation for the bulletin.

A catalyst, she explains, is like a matchmaker for it is able to fill up the electrons that are missing with the addition of a new substance. It serves to join  substances and then moves on to repeat the procedure. It is precisely this lack of a catalyst, she says, that enables the catalyst to call substances to itself.

The catalyst can't react with  a substance that lacks nothing, it is only when something is missing that the catalyst can function. This is the reason we should not be ashamed of what we lack, she says, for we can positively  accept what we lack with a different understanding of what is missing.  When we seek to hide we are not looking upon what we lack correctly. It is when we are able to accept ourselves as not perfect and others as also lacking in perfection  that we become closer in our relationships and can help one another.

With this kind of understanding, when we find persons who are not able to overcome a feeling of inferiority  and inadequacy, we can extend our hand in the way Jesus did. To help us focus on this reality it is helpful to bring to mind the well-known Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

 

Need for Resiliency

There are many cases of people giving up on life and not a few because of poverty. A professor in the field of family relations writes in the Kyeongyang magazine about the need for resiliency when families are faced with financial difficulties.

The gross national product of Korea is listed as number 15th in the world. Which means that each person is making about 24,000 dollars a year and yet there are  those who live in poverty, which may get worse, says the professor, because of the widening gap between the economic development of the country and the lagging employment of workers. While the economy has improved dramatically there has been no increase, he says, in those able to find suitable work. They may be employed in temporary jobs but that does not entitle them to benefits from welfare, often cited as a reason for the increased rate of suicides in the country.

There are cases where this is less severe: when the father is induced to retire, while the children are not able to find work and the mother is an irregular worker. But such a family is always living with fear that conditions will worsen. Expenses for school, for rent and living expenses tend to keep them in debt. Poverty, for many families, is their biggest fear, resulting in depression, listlessness,  alcoholism, family squabbles, abandonment of the home, family violence and divorce.

Failing to find  employment, the young also find it difficult to overcome the financial problems that develop by not being employed, often delaying their marriage plans.  And if married economic problems also delay the birth of children and perhaps even eliminates the possibility of having children. Though a natural desire and right, its fulfillment is becoming increasingly difficult, he points out. Unjustly, the social polarization of society has one segment of society  able to give their children all that is necessary for a comfortable and warm family atmosphere, while another segment is faced with economic difficulties that disrupts family life, nurturing insecurity and  all kinds of problems that will be passed on to the children in those families.

 Problems of this kind are not the kind families can solve on their own. The government has to help provide employment, guarantee longer periods of work, increase the number of those  who will benefit by helping them with medical expenses, welfare needs and improving  public education.  Direct policies have to be introduced to help the economic conditions of these families.

What does the family have to do in return? he asks. They have to make  long range plans and work diligently to implement them, concentrating especially on determining their family income, expenses,  assets,  debts and then decide what is to be done. We are approaching  a life span of 90 years, which requires a concrete plan on how to economize.  The professor feels that it is not necessary to spend the money that is now being spent on a child's early education and thinks that expenditure is doing more harm than good. As a first step, he recommends that we stop spending money in this way.

It is necessary, he adds, not to  be mesmerized by the advertising of insurance companies.  In retirement it is not only  money that we need but a friendly  environment and relationships. The family is the first safety net but without a family, one is still able to make a safety net: people in the village, the church, and relating  with others  in the larger society.

And when there is economic difficulty the family can give strength, but at the same time it can be the biggest burden. When that is forgotten and one person is criticized and blamed, the family community dissolves. Many times the economic problems a family has are not internal to the family but caused by forces outside the family. When the family works together there are many things they can do to help alleviate the economic problems.

The professor brings up the word resiliency. When the family works together to solve their problems this is a gift that the family will pass on to future generations, one that will bring happiness to all of them.