Divorce is a common occurrence in Korea. Few are the people who do not know divorced couples among family, relations and friends. Divorce is taken for granted, there are no negative influences on their position in society, sense of self-worth, or the way they are accepted by others. No one considers it a fault, which is a great change from the past-- the divorced do not see it as a failure. These are the words of the Desk Columnist in the Catholic Times.
The numbers of divorced are numerous. From the year 1950 we have a 13 fold increase. Without knowing the facts given by statistics we sense it by living in society. It is a serious matter.
What happens within the lives of a married couple are known only by them, and one has to be very careful in what is said. There are cases where it is necessary for them to separate. We can't consistently condemn or be sympathetic in all cases.Seen as an individual problem there are two possible responses. (We are not talking about the separation that comes because of abuse or repeated marital infidelity.) One understanding would be seeing the circumstances and being sympathetic with the separation and the other: Why change one person for another? -- the pessimistic philosophical view.
Even with a serious crime, circumstances can mitigate the sentence imposed. The couples are desirous of an harmonious life together and when this is not achieved we are sympathetic to the separation. There are those that can't live together. The relationship has turned into hell, and the best thing is to separate. Children are important but today it is not the decisive issue. The writer, making his private opinion known, is not for the changing of partners when things are not going well. The reason for the divorce is not usually, solely the problem of one partner, but the suspicion is that both are responsible. When the sincere concern for the other and failure to abandon an excessive attachment to one's own will, the possiblity of separation enters. There are many couples that live with this stress and conflict in a tunnel in which they continue to journey together.
It is true that we have little to say about the relationship of couples but the number of divorces in society is something that can't be overlooked. Our religion tells us that the covenant that was made at marriage was not a temporary one. Couples are bound together with a promise to God and to each other to live as husband and wife until death separates them.
"I can't live, let's change" is not the way we should recklessly express our feelings about the problems that arise in married life. However, there are many actions that are a dereliction of duty and condemned by the citizens as undemocratic and self-righteous in regards to the government. In these cases looking at the way the government has acted, the slogan let's have a change, is appropriate.
Poets, writers, artists, thinkers of all persuasions attempt to expand our vision and make life more meaningful, enticing and
beautiful. Certainly there is nothing that can compare with our belief
in the Paschal Mystery, the meaning of the Resurrection, to give zest and
great joy to the gift of life that we have received. Sadly for many it
is to good to be true, and ignored as wishful thinking and worse,
deception.
A diocesan bulletin addresses this with the words of Khalil Gibran: " 'If winter should say, Spring is in my heart,' who would believe winter?"
The priest writer feels this is a good expression to use in meditating
on the mystery. Without the advent of winter we do not have spring and
the many pronouncements of life.
We are in the season of Easter and the time to live this mystery. Without the understanding of Easter life, we are not living with Jesus or encountering him, and the Easter season lacks meaning. The problems and puzzles of life are not resolved and the greatest of these death, we will not understand. But even more is that we will live with anxiety and without joy. Easter is the answer to desire for life, and happiness.
Jesus
said: " I am the resurrection and the life: whoever believes in me,
though he should die, will come to life; and whoever is alive and
believes in me will never die (John 11:26). In death there is life and
joy in pain. Without pain we do not know joy. In the despair of the
paschal mystery we have joy and in the darkness we have light. Without
going through the darkness we will not know the light. Gilbran expressed
it in these words: "If we do not walk the intersection in the evening
we will not know what to do at the intersection in the morning." If we do not walk the way
of death we will not be born again.
A ball that does not
hit the ground will not rise again. This expression makes clear that the
despair of hitting the ground is necessary for the ball to return to
the hand and to the joy of the one bouncing the ball.
The priest brings us to the tragedy of the Sewol ferry and the great loss of life. It was at the beginning of the Holy Triduum. The preparation for Easter was filled with great sadness. There was great heartache with the families of the those who died
but also for the Koreans who grieved for those who died and their
families. The Paschal Mystery, the Easter Mystery, gives us hope. " There is no despair!!!"
In Romans we have the well known phrase: "Hoping against hope (Rm. 4:18). For many the Christian life is seen by those on the outside as a belief that allows one to feel good for no rational reason.
And yet those who believe are using all of their faculties and the great
gift of faith that allows them to believe without any diminishment of
our intellectual faculty. We need to remember that we receive knowledge
not only from the head but the heart and the body, our whole being is involved and helped by grace.
During
these months before the visit of the pope, the Catholic Church of Korea
is busy with its many preparations. Before the last visit of the pope
for the International Eucharistic Congress in 1989, the Desk Columnist
of the Catholic Times reminds us we had four years to prepare for the
visit of Pope John Paul II. Consequently, the Church is busy, not
concerned with only one event, but a number of events in
different dioceses. The desire to make the visit a help both
spiritually and devotionally will make the preparations more difficult.
There
are two questions that we need to ask, he says. Why is the pope coming
to Korea and what do we need to prepare? The ceremonies for
beatification are usually held in Rome, there is no reason for them to
be in Korea. The pope does not go to the different continents for their
group youth meetings so no need for his visit to the Asian Youth
Meeting. The political reason to encourage peace and unification is not a
sufficient reason and the visit to the Flower Village is not the reason
for the visit.
They
are all part of the reason for the visit. Each different diocese has
the responsibility for preparing for the visit, and each will work to
develop programs to deepen the spirituality and the devotional life of
the Catholics during the visit.
There
is a hope that it will bring change to the way we are Catholics. This
change should be a renewal in the way of the Second Vatican Council.The second change should be to follow the teaching of Pope Francis in
his exhortation to the Church in 'Joy of the Gospel'. The
exhortation has become a best seller and we should read, study and put
its teachings into practice.
The
third change is not only a change in the devotional life of the
Catholics but also in the lives of the pastoral workers in the Church
and the structures. It is very meaningful for us to remember that the
changes are taking place at the very center of the Church at the
Vatican. Individuals need to be the subjects of the changes that are
necessary. To just be teachers of the Christians is not all that is
necessary, the leaders need to show us the change. The person who has
done this is Pope Francis, an example to all of us.
The
bishops of Korea are granting indulgences in preparation for the visit
of Pope Francis for those who will make a pilgrimage to the shrines of
the martyrs. The occasion is present for all of us to learn from the
lives of our martyrs and learn from their spirituality in preparation
for the ceremonies on August 16.
Korea is the only country in the world where their own citizens brought Catholicism to the people. Shortly after, they did receive the help of two Chinese priests whose period of work was short because of persecution and death. When the Chinese priest arrived in 1795, there were already 4,000 Catholics. The first Chinese priest, Fr.Chu, died a martyr after a short period of missionary work and forty years later the Paris Foreign Mission Society entered in 1836 to begin work facing death daily. With the end of the persecution, other missionary groups entered Korea to help in the work of evangelization.
An
article in the Peace Weekly mentions the desire of the Korean Church to repay the work of the foreign missionaries in Korea by sending
out their own missionaries to other countries. They want the Church now
to be a community that shares in gratitude, helping other mission
countries.
At the end of 2013 there were 979 missioners in six continents and in 78 different countries. Of that numbers 181 are priests. This does not include the number of priests who are working within the Korean Catholic Communities spread throughout the world. The first statistics of missioners working over seas was made in 1995 with 295 listed. This has gradually increased. Within a few years, Korea will have over 1000 working in mission countries.
Diocesan priests working in mission territory for the last 10 years continued to increase until the year 2012 to reach 94. In 2013, it decreased to 82. These diocesan priests who are working in mission countries are called Fidei Donum priests. Fidei Donum is the encyclical of Pius XII promulgated on April 21 of 1957, which asked the world's bishops to share their priests with countries that need help. Last year there was an increase of those priests who attended programs for those who will be working in mission countries. There is a total of 3,995 diocesan priest. The number of priests on the missions is only two percent, so there is a desire on the part of many to see this number increased. There are many parts of the world where we have a great lack of priests.
One priest is quoted in the article as saying that the reason for the small number of diocesan priests on the missions is a lack of awareness of the need of missionary work and the satisfaction they receive in the work in the home country. If we want to see an increase, he says, the seminaries have to instill this in the formation of the seminarians. The bishops also have to become interested in the work of the Church in mission countries.
The Church in Korea has been blessed with vocations compared to the countries of Africa and Central and South America. In 1984, there were over a 1000 priests. In 1995, over 2,000, in 2004 over 3,000, and this year there are over 4,000. In the last 30 years, we have had almost a 4 fold increase. The number of parishes has increased 2.5 times. There are now 1,668 parishes in South Korea.
Living with ideals and trying to make them a reality is a big order and not something that we commonly see. The two Catholic papers give us a good example of those in the Seoul Diocese who are trying to do just that.
In First, Corinthians (6:1-11) St. Paul says: "How can anyone with a case against another dare bring it for judgment to the wicked and not to God's holy people?" The Seoul Diocese will begin a mediation board that will help in resolving the problems that Christians have with one another without going to the court of law.
This Catholic Reconciliation Mediation Board (Tentative title) will work by mediation to solve with dialogue and negotiation the problems between Catholics. The hope is that this will also spread to the larger society. Squabbles and conflicts that are brought to civil litigation are difficult both for the plaintiff and defendant because of the long drawn-out process of litigation. Especially the one who loses there is much mental and material grieving after the verdict. With arbitration and the hope of reconciliation, the expenses of the litigation and the mental stress is reduced greatly.
With mediation there is no winner or loser. The winner in the court of law reaps the fruit of his victory while the loser drinks from the cup of bitterness. Mediation enables both to win. There is negotiation, compromise, and reconciliation without this we do not have a win, win situation. There is a need for mutual consent and respect for each other, and a desire to understand.To mediate there is as need to remain neutral and refrain from judicial judgments and remain the mediator between the two parties.
In the present Church because of negligence in forgiving and reconciliation we have a crises in many areas. With mediation lay persons will have a way to solve their problems in a Christ-like way. One of the Justices said that our society as it becomes more complicated there will be more incidents and conflicts that will make for a litigious society unless we work to have other ways to solve our problems-- necessary for a mature and developed society.
There will be over fifty members on the mediation board from the world of law, education, the media and other suitable persons. These members will be registered with the government and receive legal approval. Besides the solving of problems between believers, they will offer their services for legal aid, and continue to study methods of arbitration and mediation to be of greater help to those that come. The Protestants have been giving these services to believers for some time. This attempt to follow the teachings of the Scriptures as an incentive to work to forgive and to work for reconciliation can only have good results, and hopefully we will be humble and Christ-like enough to take advantage of the opportunities.
Surveys and questionnaires continue to analyze our society. Within the Church, we have the recent survey on marriage and the family to prepare for the October 2014 meeting in Rome of the Synod of Bishops on the topic: Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the context of Evangelization. Some of the results that the mass media has presented to the public show that in many parts of the world, it is a minority of the Catholics who live and practice the faith.
One of the priests in the province of Chungcheongbukdo, in the central part of South Korea, had for his dissertation a survey of college students within the province on their position on life.The Catholic students on euthanasia, capital punishment, abortion and the like were higher on the side of life in their responses than the other groups.
Eleven Colleges and 703 students in the province were the recipients of the questionnaire. Catholics represented 13.7 percent, Protestants 17.1 percent, Buddhists 9.8 percent and non-believers 52.8 percent. These are the numbers that represent their place in society. The following are some of the questions that were asked.
"Parents have a situation where the sick person has been in a vegetative state for five years, the doctors recommend euthanasia, what would you do?" 34.9 percent of all the respondents said they would not follow the doctors' instructions. 55.8 percent, would have to be there to judge. 60.4 percent of the Catholics would not follow the doctors' suggestion. 32.5 percent of the Protestants, 21.7 percent of the Buddhists and 31 percent of the non-believers would not follow the doctors instructions. As a whole, 11.2 percent were against euthanasia while 83.2 percent would accept it in certain situations. 39.6 percent of the Catholics would not want it to be legally permitted, which was the highest; 10 percent of the Protestants, 1.4 percent of the Buddhists and 6.5 percent of non-believers would be against making it legal.
21.9 percent of the respondents were against capital punishment while the Catholics numbered 55.2 percent against. Protestants 33.3 percent, non-believers 12.9 and Buddhists 7.2 were against capital punishment.
If you had prenatal life, and you knew it was deformed or a case of cerebral palsy what would you do? The total number of respondents who said they would give birth was 39.5 percent. Catholics: 69.8 percent, Protestants: 51.7 percent, Buddhists: 31.9 percent and non-believers 29.6 percent. To the question what to do if one is pregnant before marriage: 32.1 percent of the total would not have an abortion. 60.4 of the Catholics would not have an abortion. 35.8 of the Protestants, 29 percent of the Buddhists, and 24.8 percent of the non-believers would not have an abortion.
The results show that the teaching of the Church has made an impression on many of the Catholic students, and yet there is much more that needs to be done. The priest sees a need for more programs on life issues, networks to spread the teaching and to reach the families with the teaching.
Do I know who I am?
Are we the person others see us to be? Our identity is the person who we
think we are, not who others think we are. The columnist in the 'View
from the Ark' in the Catholic Times, a member of the bishops' committee
on women's issues, wants us to reflect on these ideas. This also, she
says, can be said not only of ourselves but of the identity of the
group to which we belong, or the nation. Important it is to determine
the personal relationship we have with the nation and the society in
which we live.
How
do we look upon ourselves as Koreans? For an answer, she says, it is
necessary to look at the history that has formed us. When we examine
the last hundred years, we see how we were the victims of imperialism.
For 36 years, we were a colony of Japan. We were influenced by foreign
powers in modernization. After colonization, we worked to overcome the
remnants of the colonial period, and before achieving success, we
experienced the Korean War and a divided country; the military take-over
of the government, and the May 18th Democratic Uprising. All this made
us sensitive to which way the wind was blowing, and for survival to join
the strong in the society.
Males, fathers, superiors, seniors
have been given excessive authority and obedience, which was extended to
the larger society, enabling the blind obedience and dependency on the
powerful in society. Power that came from wealth, and strength gave
birth to anxiety and fear which in turn, unknowingly, began to become an
habitual cultural pattern in the lower strata of society. She wonders
if the fear that comes from the strong in society, and the failure in
the resistance is not a cause for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. The arrogance that comes from strength she feels, is a reason for many of
the problems in society.
Physical, mental and verbal violence that some women experience in the home is endured because of the greater fear of leaving.
Suffering cruel treatment for a long period of time lowers the respect
that they have for themselves. She does not have the confidence to
support the children on her own, and if she leaves she feels she will
lose her children and find the conditions for living difficult. There
are those that believe that in time, things will get better. However, in
many cases, the abuse becomes even greater even though the hope for a
change remains.
Many in society are like the battered women who can't
solve the crisis in which they find themselves. She is hoping a
person with greater strength will come to the rescue and will lead her
out of the situation. This is the state of mind of many in society. She
concludes her column by asking: "Who am I and how do I want to live?" Questions we need to give a great deal of thought.
