Recently we had an academic seminar on the word love in which four participants expressed their understanding on the topic: "Life and love--Recovering their true real relationship." The topic was approached from a medical, human, scriptural and church point of view. Each participant speaking from their own specialty. Both Catholic papers reported on the seminar.
First, presenter quoted psychologist Robert Sternberg as defining love as passion, intimacy, and commitment. Depending on the degree of love, different types can be differentiated. When all are equivalent we have the highest form of love.
When one uses the word love each has their own meaning.To nurture a happy relationship in love each needs to have an understanding of its meaning and expectations and what one needs to do to meet the expectations.
Another two authorities were quoted with their division of love into six types: love between friends, spiritual, romantic, possessive, altruistic, and playful love. Several of these come into each relationship and depending on whom one is relating the type changes.
In developmental psychology, love is not something that naturally develops but grows in relationships, by study, and with maturity. Many think women are romantic and men are realists but is that the reality? According to many sociologists, it is just the opposite. Women are more logical, more possessive, want a love between friends, while the male wants a playful, romantic, relationship. In altruistic love, there is little difference between the sexes.
Another participant speaking about human love says it's the preface to life, freedom, chastity, gazing out together, starting a journey of completeness together. Love is what makes a person live like a human being. From ancient times in all traditions, love was the beginning of life.
Freedom in love allows one to know another and change the other. When in love all is beautiful, all is lovable. One is not confined but allows one to love all, otherwise, it is not true love and will imprison one with shackles.
Purity is a dimension of the body while chastity of the soul: charity is the internal completion of the external purity. Life of purity is becoming one with the person who is loved. Chastity is another step where two in their sexual relationship become one in their individuality giving life to others.
A religious sister talked about love in the Scriptures. In these times talking about love is a challenge to the hearers. Especially when Jesus tells us to love our enemies, does this make sense to those who hear it? Jesus taught this concretely by his life.
A Priest concludes with love within the Church. Love is the central message: love of God and others. God is Love. We are made in the image of God and made to love. The word love (agape) comes from the words used by the writers of the New Testament: the love that Jesus showed us. The Church gives support to the passionate love of man and woman but sees it only within marriage.
The Minoans have an important place in world history, building the first civilization to appear on European soil. Minoan civilization existed on the Greek island of Crete.
Writing in the Peace Weekly, the columnist begins by telling us the Cretans had a bad reputation. He is responding to the recent scandals that have rocked the political scene in Korea.
According to St.Paul in his letter to Titus 1:12, "Cretans are always liars, wicked beasts, and lazy gluttons" these are not Paul's words but quotes from one of their own prophets.
The writer accepts that Epimenides the Cretan Philosopher wrote these words. However, Epimenides is a Cretan so what he says is it true? Here we have the famous Epimenides Paradox. Being a Cretan then all he says if false what he said about Cretans is also false, so Cretans are not all liars. On the other hand, if what Epimenides says is true the statement is false. Here we go around in circles and left with the question: What is truth? How much lying must have gone on in Crete to give rise to this statement?
A Japanese news medium reported: "Koreans lie like they breathe." The Japanese News medium quoted the Korean National Police Agency statistics and berated Korea for being the world's biggest 'con' country. According to the statistics, they have 66 times the fraud, perjury and libel compared to Japan and if we take into account the population it would be 165 times that of Japan.
The whole country is a practice site for lying. "From the President down to the other leaders in society, all are adept at lying." The report is malicious but they have hit a raw nerve. The countries have different ways of behaving but it is not worth trying to explain ourselves, says the columnist.
"I can look up at the heavens without a speck of embarrassment." These are the words of a public servant who later was tried and convicted of a crime. What was his belief when he was calling heaven as his witness?
Will we all go ahead and lie? You can lie and I can. Let us give each other the permission to lie. Does this make sense? We are giving ourselves permission to deceive and be deceived. Individual lying needs to be strictly differentiated from lying in the public place. Leaders of a country who lie prevent the country from being trusted. This is the reason why those who are in positions of authority have to be addressed differently than individuals.
We have become familiar with the landscape where money and power embrace one another. They involve many others in the web. Eventually, seeing what is happening many are overcome with nausea. "He who conceived iniquity and was pregnant with mischief brings forth failure(Ps. 7:15 ).
Korea is a member of the club of developed nations: OECD. Of these countries, two stand out with a birth rate that catches the eye: Israel and France. An article in the Peace Weekly introduces us to a serious problem in Korea.
In 2014 Israel women had an average of 3.08 children the highest in the list of OECD countries. Korea has a rate of 1.24 the lowest in the list of OECD countries. Continuing this growth rate, Israel with a population of over 8 million will have over 11 million by 2035.
France's rate is the fourth after Israel, Mexico, and Turkey. In 1990 the rate was 1.75 in 2014 it rose to 1.98.
Both countries are members of the OECD but the reason for the increase is different for each, Isreal, from their tradition, has a belief in the sacredness of life and blessings that come from children. The Super Orthodox Tradition is to have on the average eight children which has influenced society.
On the other hand, the old traditional French customs have collapsed and they are bringing in a new system which has increased the birthrate. This is a contract between two adults for their joint life, it is not a marriage but a joint agreement filed at a district office-- a civil solidarity pact known as PACS. Once this is done an allowance is provided for the birth, rearing, and education of the children. 55% of the children are born in these circumstances.
In 2012, 150,000 were PACS' couples and 230,000 were marriages but the PACS had the larger number of children. A French scholar, Jacques Attali sees by 2030 the number of marriages will disappear, and 90 % will be PACS. Korea in 2015 according to Office of Statistics had a little more than 300,000 marriages which are the lowest number since 2003.
The writer agrees that economics is a problem limiting marriages in Korea but he believes those of marriageable age no longer see marriage as necessary but only a choice. We will, he believes, see more non-marriages in Korea. However, he doesn't see Korea going in the direction of France because of the traditional Korean ways and culture. Consequently, without marriage, we will not see Korea going in the way of the French and a continual drop in the birth rate.
According to Gallop in 2014 half of the Korean population has a religion. Religious people usually have a positive outlook on children and marriage. Efforts need to be made to encourage marriage and children, and ways to support marriage and to press for changes. The reason the PACS system has been so successful in France, the writer concludes, is the burden that is felt by the young people in having a Church wedding.
Many a true word is spoken in jest: "daily life is no big deal-- isn't it to eat and live together..." Writing in View from the Ark a religious sister remembers a radio commercial she heard living in Italy that was advertising a restaurant's cooking: "Once you eat at our restaurant you will be able to forgive all your relatives and acquaintances." Returning to Korea she was envisioning such a restaurant and wanting to eat there.
In October we had many events that were celebrating happiness in life. The events were stressing 'dreams', 'meals', 'happiness', 'world's happiness index', 'let's stop considering the production numbers as an index of happiness'. These were the keywords that registered with the writer.
Happiness is what persons experience in life from a variety of social and environmental stimuli. Among these would be food, clothing, and shelter and in our society aren't there those who lack some of these necessities? Some of our sages from 2400 years in the past have told us that 'without the necessities of life people will not be at rest.' 'One has to have enough food if we want people to live a moral life.'
In our society, a person's wealth determines their social position. According to some studies, wealth to a certain degree will determine a person's level of happiness but once that is achieved, no longer important. However, this reality is not understood by our society; consequently, the need for politics, industry, education and religion to show interest.
"When a country is well governed, poverty and a low condition are things to be ashamed of. When a country is ill governed, riches and honors are things to be ashamed of" (Analects of Confucius). The most important task of a government is to secure the equitable distribution of the products of human labor for all the citizens.
Forgetting for the moment that people still want to increase their wealth there is the fear of losing what they have acquired and become more taken up with themselves. More than concern for others we have the building of structures of conflict.
Sister wants us to remember that we participate in the life of the universe. When a butterfly flaps its wings the waves made are changing even if infinitesimally the waves in the universe. South Korea is a small country bordered by oceans and North Korea; the material and wealth of the country is limited. When food, clothing, and shelter are satisfied and we go to extremes than we are hurting the weak in society. When they become sick the whole society is weakened. We are good in closing our eyes to this reality and make believe it is not true.
Precisely because of this reality we have 'grassroot movements', 'change from the bottom up', and 'change from within'. All efforts to bring about change that will not come from the top but from below and the reason we have hope to see change.
This year is the 150th year of the beginning of the Pyong-in persecution. Twenty-four martyrs were beatified in 1968 and 103 were canonized in 1984 on the pope's visit to Korea. Of this number ten were French missionaries, members of the Paris Foreign Mission Society.
During the past month Catholics from the dioceses from which these men came visited Korea on pilgrimage: 66 pilgrims with the head of the bishops' conference, members of the hierarchy and lay people.
In both Catholic weeklies, we had articles on the visit in which they thanked the Catholics of Korea for their kindness in welcoming them. They received the impression of a very vigorous faith life. One of the priest descendants of bishop Saint Anthony Daveluy, gave this advice: "I am looking at a Church that was similar to the French Church of 150 years ago. I earnestly hope that the Korean Church does not go the way the Church of France went and this means they need to live the Gospel life."
The delegation led by Cardinal Jean-Pierre Ricard of Bordeaux visited the many pilgrimage sites of the Pyong-in persecution. They were able to see the places where the bishops and priests of the Paris Mission Society worked in Korea. The missioners had in mind the education of priests to follow them. St. Kim Tae-gon, Andrew was the first Korean priest and the second was Thomas Choi Yang-eop.
The Paris Foreign Mission Society from its beginning was entrusted with the mission work in Asia. They promoted evangelization in the territories from Thailand to China. Attentive always to the necessity of finding local candidates to the diocesan priesthood. They did an admirable job in Korea with the loss of many lives and great suffering.
Finally, in 1886, a treaty with the French government guaranteed the status of French missionaries, and the freedom of religion was finally established. The persecution for almost a 100 years finally ended and the work of the missioners became easier.
An editorial in the Peace Weekly mentions the delegation was kept busy with celebrations, events, exhibition halls and elements which brought praise but prayerful time or time devoted to remembering the martyrs was limited. There was a lot of activity but the living of the Gospel life was missing.
If the Korean Church is not to follow the way of the eldest daughter of the Church we need to change the way we do pastoral work says the editorial and even before we fine tune our structures the community members have to start living the Gospel and practicing the virtues.
After 70 years of separation, a red light is seen in the national security of Northeast Asia. Solving the North Korean problem: opening up of the North, human rights, dealing with a dictator, moreover, sanctions and pressure against the North and our response with the Missile Defense System is boomeranging-- destabilizing security. With this introduction, the chairperson of the Saeurinuri Peace Corp. begins her article in the Catholic Times.
Up until now both the North and South have been working to implement different policies for unification. In Dec. of 1991 both the North and South became members of the United Nations. Both working for reconciliation and hoping to live in peace came to a basic agreement on a non-aggression pact and interchanges between the North and South along with dialog and negotiations.
During this time they agreed on two occasions to keep the peninsula a nuclear free zone at a summit of the two parties. 20 meetings of the divided families, sightseeing at Kumgangsan, Kaesong factory with a free economic zone were the results. There was the agreement to talk about a great many pending questions that would change the situation between the two. However, the nuclear development of the North and the South's military maneuvers with the United States has stopped this.
The present government sees the policies of dialogue of the past as the reason for the obstacles to the unification of the country and the nuclear development of the North. Others, on the other hand, see the last 8 years with its policies and its pressure on the North as the reason for the development of their nuclear capability and also the militarization of the South. This one-sided pressure policy has not helped the solving of the problems between the North and South and has left citizens with great sorrow.
The present policies which are not what are expected by the times we live in have rather become a fuse for a greater conflict among the neighboring powers.
It is time to disassociate the unification of the country from ideology and politics. The country, industry, religion, public social organizations need to visit the North for informal meetings with their counterparts in the North, find ways of working together and ways of cultural interchange between the two. We had for a decade non-official interchanges, learned a great deal about each other and will be helpful for the future.
Unification means the search for areas of agreement and finding where our sympathies are similar. The Unification Ministry has from Oct. 21-25 scheduled many events to awaken our desire for unification. We can't help but be sad that it is only a solitary work of the South without any response from the North.
According to the parliamentary audit of 2016, the Ministry of Unification has only used half of the allotted funds received. Open for business but with little to show for its efforts. The present policy is not one of dialog and negotiations but using military and economic power seeking to absorb the North.
In order to show that the Ministry of Unification is not only a name but has some influence it has taken a lead with a proposal to reduce armaments. The ministry sees this as a necessary premise to achieve peace on the peninsula and has moved it over to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. The writer hopes that the Economic ministries will show leadership in laying the foundation for peace initiatives.
Recently Korea noticed a slowing down of the rate of alcoholic addiction. Cigarette smoking among men has also gone from 80% to 40%. However, an article in the Seoul Diocesan Bulletin by the head of a center for alcoholics mentions how this has now moved over to women and a young peoples' problem.
Internet games, gambling, drugs and the like are now making their appearance. The writer mentions that a few years ago a middle school student came with a problem with a new herbal drug that he was taking. He couldn't forget the boy. He had the appearance of an exemplary student and asked how he got the drug. He found the drug on the internet and out of curiosity ordered it and came to the house by home delivery service.
Nowadays if a person has a mind to get drugs there's no problem in achieving one's goal. This is also true of illegal gambling as we have seen in Korean society with those in entertainment and sports. One high school student came for help who was addicted to Sports Toto (online illegal gambling). The writer was flabbergasted when he heard that half of his class participates.
According to the Korean Gambling, Problem Management Center about 30,000 young people are addicted and surmised that 120,000 are in danger of addiction. The dangers continue to increase. In 2013 a law was proposed for the management and treatment of problems associated with gambling. However, an uproar ensued because of the inclusion of internet games and the whole movement stopped. Many who came for treatment even refused to acknowledge their addiction.
Our society is so taken up with consumerism that we refuse to see the problems that follow from it. "Internet games are not addictive." Forbidding certain types of advertising is not the way to go." "Gambling is a form of industry' is what is being said.
Whether we like it or not our society is losing the happiness we should have in life. The writer is daily dealing with children who engrossed with the computer their school work suffers. Heads of families are addicted to drugs, have committed crimes, and because of gambling have incurred great debt. Women have been abandoned by their family because of addiction.
In 2014 the Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs reported that over 6 million citizens have addiction problems. These problems are capable of being addressed like any sickness and we are all exposed to the dangers. The problem is not only personal but a social one. We are not to blame the addicted but to understand and show concern. We need to discuss the problem and find solutions and ways to treat those who are dealing with addiction.
