One generation often finds understanding another difficult. We would like to have an objective standard that all would accept but it doesn't exist. A mother writing in a diocesan bulletin expresses her feelings in an area of life that needs to change but society is so intertwined, integrated with so many other areas that changing one thing changes everything.
The writer mentions watching her grandson and the animation cartoon he was viewing on TV. She saw enough of the cartoon to get the story line. Her six-year-old grandchild was watching an animated video of the destruction of the earth because of pollution in 30 years. The starring characters were going back in time in their mini cars to prevent this from happening. These mini cars are 'Turning Mecard' which transform into a toy robot. There are a whole series of them produced by the toy company.
The grandmother saw a number of these mini cars in the child's room and reprimanded her daughter for buying so many. The daughter told her mother that if her son doesn't keep up with the latest mini car he is not accepted by his friends, bullied and made fun of. So the mother's love for her child demands that she keep up with the latest mini car.
The grandmother doesn't understand why the society allows this to happen. When a new car comes out the mothers line up before the store from early in the morning to make sure they are able to buy the new car in the series before they sell out. The company also has videos with the cars tempting the children to buy them.
The cars are no bigger than a child's hand but cost more than 20 dollars. These toddlers are little angels, raised in a materialistic world with little else besides what they see with their eyes. Children should be given dreams and thoughts at this early age that will not disappear as they grow older.
She remembers lying on mats out side her house on warm evenings looking up at the sky. In her day they had no toys but they had fun finding things to do. Going to the river banks and catching small fish and putting them in jars. Parents need to have their children become acquainted with nature. She mentions the many things that the children can do to give them memories that will last a lifetime.
The toy company was having financial difficulty, losing money for a number of years and this was turned around with these mini cars. This is good for the economy. Consumerism, however, takes the mind off the more important things in life and reduces happiness to acquisition of material goods.
Without a change in our thinking and the system in which we live, parents and all the citizens will be living with this dilemma for many years to come.
From the first moments we enter this world, we fall in love: our first love. From the sixth month on, we recognize faces and we have human love. The baby knows she is loved and she continues to cultivate this emotional love.
A professor of psychology, in a Kyeongyang magazine article, introduces us to a mother's love which builds the world. Like all love one wants to be with the one loving and when separated the baby cries and is unhappy. When another face appears the baby is afraid. She wants to be with the mother, this is the way the first love enters our life.
This first love can be called attachment. When the baby is nestling in the bosom of the mother she is experiencing for the first time the emotion of love. All love leaves behind traces which influences us in life. It changes our attitudes in the way we see life.
Nobody enters the world because they wanted to. This first mutual relationship will nourish trust and become foundational. Trust gives the child confidence in the world in which she is born. However, there is the possibility that the child does not receive positive feedback from the feelings of attachment needed but rather a lack of trust in its surroundings and a feeling of isolation. This will appear later in the way the child relates to others.
They have seen the results in those who enter kindergarten. Those that were affirmed in their attachment are seen in relationship with their friends mixing easy and comfortable. They are helped in their ability to relate and the level of aggressiveness is low. This appears also in entering elementary school.
He uses the experiments by Harry Harlow, psychologist, who separated infant monkeys from their mothers after birth and raised them in another cage. They were given all the necessary food and drink but separated from the attachment to the mother and deprived of the mother's love. After 3 months they were put into a cage with other monkeys their age. In the beginning, frightened, they sat in a corner with their hands on their face. This would change gradually and they would associate but in time they became aggressive.
Harlow's experiments showed children who were raised in institutions instead of the home would have a higher degree of aggressiveness. Attachment to the mother influences the social gifts and emotional life.
This attachment has to be formed not only with the mother but with all those who come in contact with the child: father, grandfather, grandmother the nanny...they all need to build an attachment.
The professor concludes that in our society it is difficult for mothers who need to work to be the 'super moms' society wants. This fact often makes mothers feel guilty when the caring person is someone other than the mother.
In great part, the problem is a lack of interest in the nurturing of our infants in society. It's not giving the care of the child to another loving person but the guilt feeling of the mother which interferes with the forming of the attachment with the child. This is a reason society needs to take an interest in the nurturing of our young people for the good of society.
What is the object of education? This topic has many answers and we
know from our own experience that many of the things we learned were not
taught. Many of the things taught we did not learn or forgot. Parents are often
interested in educating for employment: a comfortable and respected
life. However, when we add Catholic to the word education we need to
have a different understanding.
Both Catholic weeklies
had articles on the new rector of a Catholic University and his
understanding of education. We have over 220, 4-year colleges in Korea,
and no Noble Laureates. With all these schools why do we have the highest
suicide rate of the OECD countries? The rector feels the reason for this
is our educational programs. We need to teach the dignity of each
person made to be happy.
Catholic education needs to
remember the Catholic part otherwise, we educate only for academic
excellence, worldly success.There is a need to form disciples.
Catholic
education has to be education of the whole person not only of the head
but also of the moral and physical. Catholic Education is not to make
Nobel Laureates, prepare government officials or teach how to make a million
dollars but to teach how to live life fully. Students need to be educated on
how to live a happy and fulfilled life.
Universities
started in 12 century Europe attached to religious houses. They began
with the ethos of Christianity. The foundational philosophy was the
love for humanity. Knowledge was given to us to grow as human beings and
the educational institutions were there to help.
In
the present reality we have a decrease of students, drop in the
population and unemployment. How to do we keep the schools
open? What is the solution to the impasse we face? He sees it with
learning, developing our human qualities and finding jobs.
Even
if it comes to closing the doors of the university we need to stress
the social teaching of the Church: common good, solidarity, and
subsidiarity.
Common Good is the total of social
conditions which allow people, either as groups or as individuals to
reach their fulfillment more completely and easily.
Solidarity is the idea that we are all
connected with all human beings. We belong to the world family and need
to be concerned for all, granted with different degrees.
Subsidiarity is the idea that problems need to be solved at the smallest and most
intimate level possible. If this is not possible then we go to another
higher level etc..
Schools are for students and not students for the
schools. We need to work together, share the difficulties, make schools what they are meant to do:
educate the head, heart and body.
Cain led his brother Abel out to the field and killed him. On his return, God asked him: "Where is your brother Abel?" In defiance and feigning ignorance answers: "I do not know, Am I my brother's keeper?" God lamenting: "Your brother's blood cries out to me from the soil!"
In the Catholic Peace Weekly column 'Word and Silence' the writer begins his meditation on the first two brothers of Scripture. Cain the oldest the farmer and Abel the shepherd. Out of jealousy, Cain kills his brother. Anger, dissatisfaction, dejection and rejection all came together to gives us the first killing in our history.
Cain and Abel can be read as the symbol of many things. Cain's disposition of anger, jealousy, disobedience, resistance, violence, murder, all showing his negativity. Abel, the opposite: virtuous, simple, both co-existing in our society. The victor is always Cain, with intrigue he will always be ahead of Abel. Descendants of Cain continue to grow. Abel didn't leave any progeny.
Darwin the founder of evolution did not find it easy to find an answer to a serious question. In the evolution of humanity the victor was always the strongest and selfish. How did humanity continue with the virtuous and altruistic in the tree of life? How was it that in the survival of the fittest the altruist and virtuous were not weeded out?
Darwin after much thought was able to give an answer. He went beyond the individual to the group. If you look at the groups separately you will find that the selfish individual will be on top but when you have different groups the results are different. The selfish group is not going to overcome the one with sacrifice and altruism.
This is the way Darwin expressed this: "A tribe including many members who, from possessing in a high degree the spirit of patriotism, fidelity, obedience, courage, and sympathy, were always ready to aid one another, and to sacrifice themselves for the common good, would be victorious over most other tribes; and this would be natural selection."
The tragedy of Cain and Abel we see repeated often in our world. In Roman mythology we have the twins Romulus and Remus, when they became adults founded Rome. They quarreled over the site and Romulus killed his brother Remus. In Roman history, we have in the Roman Royalty killing of relations frequently. In Islam history, we have this happening often with the Sultanate dynasties killing brothers or imprisoning them. In the Joseun Dynasty, we have inter-family fighting for the throne.
In Korea recently we have the unfortunate heir to the North Korean throne who has been wandering overseas for some years, assassinated. Considered to have been killed by his half-brother the present leader of North Korea. He has been known to have killed many of his rivals in government.
In the Scriptures we have the first family given birth to another son called Seth. He may have been a mixture of the two. He concludes the article by reminding us that we may be a mixture of Cain and Abel, the good with the bad. Cain's descendants may seem to be victors; Abel may seem to lose at times but with the continuation of the community life, love and grace will continue within the history of humanity.
The editors of a bulletin for priests recall a story they heard at a meeting some years ago of the Focolare Movement. (A movement following the inspiration of Jesus: 'May they all be one' respecting diversity and focusing on dialogue)
A young woman who attended one of these meetings tells the group of her difficulty in carrying out what she knew to be her calling as a Christian and how difficult it was to live that life.
One day she came across the words in the Scripture to love your enemy and meditated on the words. No one was an enemy but there were many who she did not like. One person, a senior in the company she worked, hurt her feelings and for some time they were avoiding each other. Yet she knew this was not the Christian thing to do.
She began to plan on how to remedy the situation. She hadn't greeted the person for some time so that was her first step. The next day on entering the office at work the first person she met was the individual she was going to greet, but as soon as they met, nothing came out of her mouth and the person quickly averted her eyes. To decide to love another is difficult but to put it into action is more difficult.
That night while praying she was not going to give up her desire to show love and the next day on her way to work and on the bus she kept mumbling to herself 'good morning, good morning' over and over again. That morning before she opened the door of the office she again repeated to herself: 'good morning'. Entering the office and seeing the person she very awkwardly uttered: "good morning!" The individual with a puzzled expression and bewildered acknowledged the greeting.
The next day she practiced again but this time it was much easier. She continued to make the effort to greet the person without much difficulty and gradually they began to speak.
One day when they were drinking coffee together they began to talk and the individual mentioned how they had been estranged for some time... "but thanks to you we are talking again"... The person was curious in knowing what prompted her to make the effort to return to the relationship they once had. I am a Christian and she needed to start living like one was her answer.
The incident is a very simple and common event in our lives. The editors mentioned this because it was an act of the will to overcome the emotions that paralyzed her. Feelings are difficult to overcome.
We live with many different people. We bicker, dislike, give and receive scars but to say sorry is difficult. We end up losing many acquaintances hurting and being hurt and slow in asking for forgiveness to heal the estrangement. To humbly lower ourselves and overcome our self-respect is a monumental task all necessary to find peace in our own hearts.
Patience with God is a book written by a Czech writer Tomas Halik. In the Catholic Peace Weekly, a columnist read the book on the recommendation of a friend and gives us her understanding of the book's theme: absence of God in the lives of many Christians and atheists and the authors desire to be of help.
In the introduction to the book that author tells his readers of the takeover of the country in 1948 by the Communists. Religion was suppressed and he left the country and was ordained a priest. (He was brought up in in a secular environment and was a convert in his twenties) He was ordained a priest in 1970 and returned to the Czech Nation working in the underground church. In 1989 the Velvet Revolution brought an end to Communist rule and the rise of the Czech Nation and parliamentary government.
He returned to teaching and writing. One day he was invited to deliver a brief meditation to parliament. After the Velvet Revolution, the joy of freedom was enjoyed only briefly by the citizens, they were afraid of crowds. In the presence of so many choices, the citizens were puzzled and confused. Many problems and complications began to appear. Everything was now open to choice. Citizens began to have headaches, missing the black and white world to which they were accustomed.
In the mission he has taken upon himself, he uses the story of Zaccheus in the Gospel of Luke chapter 10:1-10. After the fall of Communism the Christians went out to the streets and realized that many applauded them, some not so positively, but they didn't notice all the Zacchaeuses who didn't associate with the old or new believers but were not indifferent or hostile to them. They were seekers who wanted to remain at a distance.
Jesus called Zacchaeus by name which gave him the confidence to leave the fig tree. Jesus surprised him in willing to stay at his house. There is no evidence Zacchaeus joined his band of followers but he did change his life. The church has not been able to address the Zacchaeuses of the world in this manner. It is only those who understand the Zacchaeuses and can call them by name that we will see a change in the world we live in.
Fr. Tomas feels that he understands the Zacchaeuses of the world. They are not in his mind feeling superior. Things are not that simple. It is more the result of shyness. They did not choose their place on the margins of society many of them know their own shortcomings and the difficulties on their life's journey.
Zacchaeus was open to hearing the voice of Jesus and responded. He was willing to change his life.The priest sees the Zacchaeuses of this world who are between the two fortified camps of assured fundamentalist believers and self-assured atheists. Life is filled with questions and doubts but Christians have an understanding of faith and the one to whom faith relates. They are not afraid of doubts and questions. For these doubts and questions can lead us on to a deeper and maturer faith.
The political situation in Korea has received a great deal of public interest and one of the articles in the Catholic Peace Weekly shows how everything can be enlightening and for growth in spirit and intellect. We have something similar but different, in the Christian Scriptures with 'Happy Fault' and 'all things work together for the good'.
A Bodhisattva in Buddhism is one who has achieved Nirvana or Buddha-hood but postpones the state to do good and help others in this world of trials. A Reverse Bodhisattva (逆行菩薩) is a person who by his wrong actions helps the beholder to reflect on these wrong actions to act in a contrary fashion because of the crudeness experienced. He becomes a person for whom we show gratitude. The wrong actions are a strong lesson on what not to do.
The phrase (國政 壟斷) (state monopoly) is used to describe the present upside down turn of events in society. The phrase comes from the Confucian tradition where a merchant goes up a mountain where he can see all that is happening in the market below and buys what is missing and begins to sell the products at a high price: using the disadvantage of others to make a killing for himself. This was seen happening in the political situation with the supporting and starring characters.
Another phrase used is (他山之石) (his mountain stone) which is taking a stone of little use from a mountain to polish the jade you possess. A person's hurtful and useless words and actions can be used to enhance your own knowledge and virtue. Everything can be used as a lesson to live virtuously.
(反面敎師) (Negative teacher), can be understood as similar to the above. We learn to do the opposite of what is spoken because our consciences tell us what is to be done: opposite to what is being taught.
(三人行必有我師) (When I walk along with two others, they may serve me as my teachers) You learn from the virtues and to avoid the vices of the companions with whom you walk.
The writer reminds us of the situation in society and it is not always clear who are the supporting players or those who have the starring roles, but they are all on the stage influencing the citizens. In a democracy, the actions we have seen have reminded the citizens how important it is to think deep and long before casting a vote. Big Busines has taught us the influence they have on society is not always for the best.
Doesn't the recent situation also show us how important solidarity is in running a good government? Efforts to get rid of our apathy is the first step in achieving an honest society, consequently, mature citizens seek something beyond their own comfort and personal needs.
