"Alcoholism is a disease cured only by death." Lament of many families who have members addicted to alcohol. View from the Ark column of the Catholic Times has an article on the issue by a person working with alcoholics.
After many years of hearing lies, frustration builds up and despair appears in the form of a pitiful scream. A hopeless disease gives birth to frustration. Alcoholism makes the life of the victim a mess, and brings depression and insecurity to the family. They can't blame each other leading to the break down of the family. Often the alcoholism is handed down to other members of the family.
Even the doctors who have tried to help the sick person have a feeling of failure. The sick persons, tears in their eyes, stopped drinking and leave the hospital and within a few months completely drunk return to the hospital and threaten the doctor. On occasion when a family member returns to report the death of the person the bewilderment of doctor is hard to imagine. In fact, the death brings the end to the addiction.... Efforts to help the alcoholic seems meaningless.
However, those who have achieved success and the doctors with one voice say there is hope with alcoholism. In a local Korean study 50 to 60% of those who have been treated in a hospital return to drinking within three months. Only 15 % stay off drink. Out of ten only 1 or 2 stay off drinking. Another study showed that 80% of those that stay away from drink for two years continue.
Those who are addicted to alcohol have a difficult road to travel: " I consider my years as an alcoholic as a blessing." Words uttered by a middle-aged person who was freed from alcohol for the last two years. Before he became an alcoholic he was not a happy person. He worked hard and made a lot of money but was not able to handle the stress and no direction to his life.
When he hit bottom and started to change, his way of life changed giving new direction. Relationship with family and friends all changed for the better. If the drinking problem was not there he would not have changed and he would not have found the joy he now has.
Christians not only remember the failure, suffering, and death of Jesus but the new dawn the Resurrection. We need to overcome the momentary failures. As long as one does not despair there is hope.
In the deep recesses of a mountain area of Korea, a little church stands out like a star. Three miles from the main road lined with wild pears and peach trees, you enter a small village of 30 houses. Fruit trees were planted by the community from which they make a drink they sell. The village leader is a 54-year-old Protestant minister. A daily newspaper recently had an article on the life of the minister which was recopied for a bulletin written for Catholic priests.
He dreamed of a missionary life in Africa and went to Australia for training where he stayed for 4 years. During this period instead of learning about mission life, he was exposed to conflict. Each was only interested in their own church and didn't care if the others existed or not. He wanted community and decided to return to Korea in 2002.
He went to this area to live and the community thought that he was going to be working with the handicapped and even tried to stop him from entering the village in his car. He asked for a village meeting. At the meeting the village leader made him promise not to visit the houses asking them to believe in Jesus. He promised and meant it. He would not speak about Jesus and do only what Jesus wanted.
Since he was the youngest in the village he was the one they asked to solve their problems and he took care of the odd jobs of the community. He was addressed like everybody else, no titles.
Although he didn't build any church the thought didn't quickly disappear. The community was still abusing him and believed he would eventually show his true intentions.
He and his wife were busy living the Christian life in the village and one day one of the villagers asked: "Who is cleaning the road of the rocks? Another villager responded: "Who in the villager would be doing this kind of drudgery?" From that time the abuse stopped and instead praise. They made him the village leader unanimously. He was busy.
During the New Year's Celebrations, they put a pig's head, steamed rice-cakes, pollack, and fruits on the road and had a welcoming sacrifice for the New Year. They called the village head to be present. They asked him to represent them in prayer. In that desolate country place: "Sun, moon, stars all created things that God has made, we thank you" these words resonated loud and clear. All the grandmothers and grandfathers answered with 'Amen'. It was hard to believe.
At the seventieth birthday of one of the grandfathers who had a little too much to drink suggested that since we work during the day it would be nice in the evening to get together to pray and sing hymns. He was the first to be baptized. The church began with him 8 years ago. Four years later the village leader who called him a Jesus freak was baptized and today of the 45 villagers half come out to the church and on the feasts of Easter and Thanksgiving all attend the church service.
The church has some peculiarities: no tithing, there is only one service on Sundays, in the afternoon work of service for others.
He often hears a fisher needs to go to a place where there are a lot of fish. He is happy to light a little spark in his part of the world. He feels people are not happy because they do not have intimate personal relationships in the society in which they live. He has found happiness with the villagers and together with nature in a close relationship doing God's work, how could he not be happy!
In human society, important factors are the common feelings and skills to communicate and build friendships. This common feeling often means common sense. A seminary professor in the Catholic Times begins his article in View from the Ark with these words on 'Rationality of Common Sense and Reason, and the Art of Consensus'.
Presently in society, we see much that doesn't make sense. Parents abandon their children so they can live alone, children kill their parents for failure to help them, using friendship to deceive another, lovers who fall out of love threaten and kill, blacklisting people with whom you don't agree to secretly push them out of society, buying people with money to do your will. These things, of course, have always been present in society, the mass media, the social network, and the smartphones have possibly just made it easier to access what is happening.
It's important to remember that much that determines common sense is not rational but public opinion, manipulated statistics and news and gossip. We have different ideologies pushed, refusal to dialogue, unconditionally criticizing others irrationally, makes a society that's not interested in common sense.
The German philosopher, Jurgen Habermas, emphasized that when we work searching for consensus and freed from ideologies we have a community that allows free discussion and rational dialogue. He believes that when you have an honest dialogue between persons who are equal and trust each other consensus can be reached without this thinking we have only violence.
Last year, society's common sense and through reasonable examination of the hidden long-standing irregularities and inconsistencies a change took place. "Righteous anger" was expressed peacefully as we learned the truth that was disguised and concealed. Coming up against the lies of long-held power we experienced what true freedom, justice, and peace were. Habermas's common sense and rational dialogue help us in the first step to solve the problems present with different opinions and values with constant dialogue and discussion.
According to the Samsung Economic Research Institute, Korea spends 27% of GDP per capita on conflict cost. Conflict is a part of every society but efforts are necessary to resolve them and they are not attained overnight. They must begin with the individual person. It begins in the family, the attitude of the parents and the children. Listen carefully to each other and from where each is coming. We learn perseverance, respect, and skills of persuasion, and learn to communicate to coexist.
The Church needs the same skills. For the Christian, this should be more vital and important. If we as a Church are not open to dialogue, communication, fellowship, and common sense it's a sign we will have problems in dealing with some long-standing evils.This is what Martin Luther was speaking about 500 years ago through the Reformation for renewal something we need to remember.
Recently in Korea, there has been a controversy over harmful effects of women's sanitary napkins. A college professor writes a column for the Catholic Peace Weekly about the problem and mentions that chemical products and electronic devices have some undesirable effects and since we can't return to primitive life, it's not possible to eliminate all the harmful elements living in modern times.
Sanitary napkins, however, should be looked at from a different perspective. It is used from girls in their teens to middle age. There are differences but it is not like scrap paper which we use and throw away. Women use the sanitary napkins two days to one week during the menstrual period and it is dangerous that they have not been tested for toxicity before sold in the market.
Women's groups have called for proper inspection and announcement of results. Of course, it is not an easy matter to determine the degree of harm that comes with the contact with the skin of these substances. The whole issue is not one easily understood. She hopes that this incident will help us to be more sensitive on the harm that may be caused.
However, this sanitary napkin problem is not only a consumer problem but a women's human rights issue. There are many concerns about the substances that come into contact with the skin.
One step beyond this is concern for the harmfulness of the contraceptive pill that women take directly and is not properly tested. In the case with emergency contraceptives, the so-called morning-after pill, which contains high levels of hormones is a dangerous drug. The fact that there is no such discussion on the hormonal contraceptive pill is a violation of the human rights of women.
Compared to the sanitary napkins the risks from the contraceptive pill are so serious that they are unimaginable. In Korea, it is tragic that the only information they have received is from the advertising of the pharmaceutical companies. Does the birth control pill really make our bodies beautiful and the life beautiful like the advertising says?
A society that respects women has an obligation to provide proper information to women. And women should assert their rights. This is our right to a healthy life. Not only sanitary napkins but also the risks of taking contraceptives should be a human rights issue. It's a violation of their rights to recommend a hormone preparation to a woman without any tests of the harmfulness.
Without taking the proper steps to guarantee the safety of the drugs used is this not an example of discrimination towards women when they are told to eat dangerous birth control pills?
In Korea recently mass media has carried the stories of religious
people involved in con schemes. This upsets the religious people in
society and a question to the Catholic Peace Weekly on the feelings of a
reader when he hears these stories and wonders about his own faith life
when those who are leaders in religion show this kind of behavior.
The
columnist begins by telling the reader that one mud fish can easily
muddy the water. Crooks are present in religion as in all
the other areas of life. Moreover, in religion it's actually easier to
con a person for the victims are more open to believing the person is
speaking the truth. In many other fields persons are quick to doubt but religious people when they encounter priests, ministers or Buddhist monks are ready and conditioned to believe, making religion an easy place to
deceive people.
Since a con person is asking for money
it is rather easy to determine and distinguish the motive but since they
are clever even when they succeed their followers don't quickly
decrease in numbers. We have a number of ways in which they do their
deception.
The defense mechanism they often use is speaking in a way that is just opposite to what they are
truly about: reaction formation. An example would be speaking about
justice and the poor and acting contrarily. Love for the poor is a natural trait of a
religious person and when this is done to an extreme one's
antennas go up.
When
justice and welfare and the like are overly stressed there may be a search for material
things and honors. People have difficulty
criticizing their actions. Externally they are just persons showing
an interest in the welfare of the poor and this image is not easily
attacked.
The second category are those who use treats
in their approach. You feel their energy when they approach you. This is
seen in the new religious groups but also in the traditional groups,
where prayers are asked to a degree that is beyond a persons possibility
and asking for donations and thanksgiving gifts.
In
this case believers find it difficult to reject for they are afraid
that something will happen if they refuse a person who is doing so much
good. These persons know the weak points of the common person and
manipulate their anxieties for their benefit. They make
threatening prophesies about the family and the souls of the dead because
of their sins and push people into a neurotic state.
They
are not the object of rejection but of respect because people think that
rejecting them they are rejecting God. In conclusion he recommends
what to do to avoid being caught in a religious fraud. We need to be mature Christians
and know the teachings of the Lord. When you have a integral
understanding of the Gospels and their flow you will feel an instinctive
rejection of the behavior of these con artists.
A university professor writing in a diocesan bulletin recalls a meal he had with an old classmate from high school he hadn't seen for some time.
Friend 1: Did you have a dinner engagement yesterday? You look tired.
Friend 2: I guess I drank too much liquor.
Friend 1: You are too caught up in drinking. You need to cut back.
Friend 2: I really don't enjoy drinking.
Friend 1: Why are you then always the last to leave a group?
Friend 2: It's not because I enjoy the booze.
The friend opened up to his companion. " Over the years I noticed that when a person leaves the group we begin talking about the faults of the person who left. We were all enjoying each others' company, laughing and praising each other but once a person leaves it all changes.... I am afraid the same thing will happen to me so I stay around to the end and drink."
His friend was surprised at the remarks. In his group when a person gets up and leaves it's just the opposite, everyone has some nice words to say about the person who left.
The professor was always envious of his friend for all the bonuses that he received in his place of work. Hearing the words of his friend he was thankful for the environment in which he was working. In his environment when a person is not there the words are always kind which is a bonus that can't be exchanged for money.
In many cases, the reason a person doesn't enjoy the company in his place of work, in the group he belongs, or in meetings is he doesn't experience any bonuses from the encounter. Is this not the reason to avoid future contacts when possible?
Isn't this the case also in our church community? What a blessing to be a member of a community without any backbiting. A person when he leaves is missed, and when we enjoy the encounter to the very end.
We are all very sensitive to hurts and enjoy being well thought of and the hurts that we have in community living make for some challenges. We are all a little broken with faults that can develop into conflicts with others. Empathy and compassion and a good portion of humility will allow us to accept the difficulties and to work for reconciliation and peace.
"Treat everybody with equal kindness; never be condescending but make real friends with the poor. Do not allow yourself to become self-satisfied. Never repay evil with evil but let everyone see that you are interested only in the highest ideals" Romans 12:16.
One of the dioceses in Korea recently finished evaluating a questionnaire that was sent to 140 parishes as work on their synod continued. Participants were divided into three groups: (A) believers' awareness, (B) (tepid) nonpracticing Catholics, (C) examination of parish life. An overall conclusion of the diocesan family was a desire for change in the way religious life was lived. Catholic Times Weekly gave much space to the results of the questionnaire.
The feeling of belonging and satisfaction within Catholicism was high, however, interest in diocesan plans and parish life was relatively low. Concern for this world's goods was more important than religious concerns and personal concerns over community interests.This was also the condition found in other religious groups, an area where the Catholic Church of Korea needs to work.
Although parishes have shown concern for evangelization the believers are passive. Pastoral workers have not shown an interest in getting the laypeople involved in the concerns of the parish. Priests among themselves have shown a high degree of communication but this has not been extended to the laity.
Interest in small community meetings in the parish is present but the young show no interest. Other age groups are more concerned with fellowship than with religious concerns, and a sense of obligation is the motivation of many.
Priests and the lay people were asked what they wanted the diocese and the parishes to do. The priests thought the most important issue for the diocese was the renewal of priests 25%, education of the parishioners 24%, concern for the tepid 14%, establish a vision for the diocese. The laity were concerned mostly with the tepid 45%, educational programs 17%, priests' renewal 8%, programs for the young 7%.
On the parish level: priests wanted renewal programs for the laity 25%, interest in the youth 26%, concern for those who have left the community 17%, training of volunteers for service 14%. The Laity considered work with the tepid important 27%, liturgical education 14%, evangelization 14%, education for service 14%.
Laity's areas of concern was lack of interest in parish life 23%, lack of community concern 20%, separation of faith life and daily living 19% and a mature religious life 13%.
Desires of the laity in regards to the clergy: to see a humble clergy who would listen to what others had to say to the very end 37%. Living a simple life and not concerned with material goods and careful with Church funds 16%. Not to come across as self-righteous and to work together with the laity in the running of the parish 11 % and priests who prayed 10%.
