Changing the 'Frame' We View Life

In the Eyes of the Believer column of the Catholic Weekly, a parish priest gives the readers his thoughts on the 'frame' by which we view the world and our problems. The frame we use will determine the results.
 
He gives an example of prayer. One parishioner asked a priest if it was alright to smoke while praying. The priest answered, that prayer is a conversation with God and one doesn't smoke while praying. Another parishioner approaches the priest asking shouldn't we pray while we smoke? With a gentle smile: "Brother, there is no special time or space for prayer it's always a good time to pray (Example is taken from a book).

Consider the frame by which we see Confession of sin. According to our teaching, every believer should confess their sins at least once a year. According to the 2018 Korean Catholic Church statistics, the reception of confession fell by 15.1% from the previous year;  compared to other sacraments it was the biggest drop. Very likely the numbers will continue to drop. Why with a growing number of new believers do we continue to have a drop in the reception of the sacraments? One of the reasons is that the church emphasizes confession as a "duty" instead of seeing it positively as a healing and reconciling.

We know that our culture moves continually on focusing on personal needs and freedom—individualism. This profound influence on culture can't be ignored. Each person is important and the only frame of reference considered by many: will it not determine how society functions?

Continuing to speak about duty is ineffective. We need to make clear the reason for the self-exposure of our faults and sins as a healthy and healing approach to a happy and peaceful life.

Another area in which we need a new frame is the way we approach abortion. At present the Criminal Code punishes abortion but recently it was declared that the present law is not consistent with the Constitution and by the end of 2020 if the law is not amended the abortion penalty will be abolished.

 Catholicism opposes abortion with the culture of life movement but the efforts to expand, go deeper and gain maturity require reflection on many different areas of life if it is to be effective. We hear the criticism of the Church's traditional approaches from many sections of society.

We miss the opportunity of taking time for education and discussion on the dignity of life and instead continue to send down commands from above to respect life. This needs to be changed from not only the fetus but from conception to death in all aspects of life.

The church should ask whether pregnant women have sufficient requirements to bring life into the world? The vision of the present movement for life is too narrow, and easily misunderstood by many in society.

Abortion campaigns have limitations and need more attention and participation. If the church accepts this criticism, it should change its frame from the existing culture of life movement where what most people hear is that Abortion is Murder, to a new culture of life movement that links existence with our daily life.

In the meantime, if the object and horizon of the culture of life movement are not only focused on the 'fetus' but looks at life broadly and sees the culture of death as violence, hate, discrimination, etc. than we will see the need for a culture of love and life that will include the fetus.

Quality of Life and Welfare Policy

In the Peace Weekly, peace column, a specialist in welfare matters gives us her thoughts on policies and expectations for the future.
Quality of life is the way an individual subjectively sees and can participate and enjoy life— an evaluation standard that comprehensively understands the lives of a nation's people. Based on the factors that make life worthwhile, measured are the objective living conditions and the subjective perceptions and evaluations of citizens.

In a recent evaluation of the quality of life, Koreans are still interested in economic stability. In general, as society matures, interest in non-material values ​​increases. In Korea, it is noteworthy that 'economic stability' has emerged as an important factor up to the present even though 30 years have passed.

In the OECD survey, Korea ranked 30th out of 40 countries, and one of the chronic problems that lowered the quality of life indicator ranking was anxiety due to the decrease in real income. Social psychologists say that the anxiety of modern people is caused by problems that cannot be overcome by individual efforts such as recession and inequality.

Important to recognize that when a state or government is not providing solutions to individual anxieties and social solidarity is difficult to anticipate, humans have difficulty enduring the uncertainties and eventually are expressed in radicalized thoughts and actions.

There is a high correlation between the many self-inflicted deaths because of unemployment and the difficulties of life. According to the Ministry of Health and Welfare's 2018 Suicide Survey, the rate of suicide increases rapidly the longer you stay in the lowest strata of society and lower the income level. After the physiological needs, security is the first before all others that needs to be satisfied.

When this is missing, government-level social safety nets are not functioning properly and loopholes and limitations are exposed. In addition to the government, it is also essential to raise interest in society. The analysis suggests the public-private sector should cooperate closely with each other. All working to bring together the community.

Pope Francis said that if modern technological advances cause obvious inequalities and become hostile to the common good, it is not real progress, but unfortunate regression ruled by the law of the strongest. Emphasizing the need to reach out to those who cannot stand alone, warning that the existence of the poor, the marginated, can be treated as annoying, consumables.

The current government is providing the opportunity for "welfare" to shift away from political slogans to "policy." Last year, they spent the largest ever share for welfare spending in Korea, a positive factor in expanding the welfare system. However, despite these achievements, if the plans and directions are wrong, you have events like those described above.

Social welfare experts are calling for strategies for welfare structure reforms to ensure the sustainability of welfare systems. Welfare sustainability and development are shared responsibilities and should be pursued in cooperation with the public sector as well as businesses, workers and all segments of society. The blind spots in the system need to be uncovered, a project urgently needed to find answers by listening to voices in the field, and not only with table theory.

Happiness Is the Fruit of a Process

Over the mountains, far to travel, 
people say, Happiness dwells.
Alas, and I went in the crowd of the others,
and returned with a tear-stained face.
Over the mountains, far to travel, 
people say, Happiness dwells.   

In the Kyeongyang magazine a teaching 

professor in psychiatry begins his article on

Happiness, with the above poem by the 

German poet Uber den Bergen. All of us 

know that we never have happiness under 

our control. Known, but at the same time 

sad. Happiness is the desire of all but not easily realized.

Many are the rights that humans can truly hope to realize.

The right to be free from a disease. Just up to a few 

centuries ago half of the babies would die. Those who were 

fortunate to live through infancy would face hunger and 

contagious diseases. Those able to see their

grandchildren were few. To die in old age was rare.

Today this is taken for granted in many societies.

The right to liberty is something like air we breathe but 

about a half a century ago women were not able to vote 

or own property. One's freedom came with the social class

they belonged to at birth. Freedom of encounter, religion, 

street address and the like were all controlled.

There is no question that we are now freer, healthier and

live longer than in the past but are we happier? The Korean 

Constitution makes clear the various rights citizens 

have: right to be respected, pursuit of happiness, life, 

liberty, equality... What is interesting is that all except 

happiness are rights but happiness is not—we are given the 

right to pursue happiness. 

This was added to the constitution in 1987, it is believed this 

came from the United States Declaration of Independence. 

No one is able to give one happiness, neither the

State or society but only the opportunity to pursue it.

Originally happiness was the practice of virtue for a 

full life which opened one to the goodness of happiness. But

it suddenly changed into emotional peace and pleasure. 

Results  of mental activity is behavior but now we have

mental activity without behavior considered as happiness.

A person who is a good cook prepares a nutritious and 

delicious meal. An expected result of her skill. But what has

happened is we have cancelled out the expert cook, the 

ingredients, the devotion of the cook and the 

process and look for the emotional joy of a delicious meal.

The pursuit of happiness is much of the same as the 

example of a delicious meal.It's a process. If we cancel the 

long period of preparation and just expect happiness,

something is seriously amiss.

The results of 'emotional happiness' do not last long. When 

we get rid of an uncomfortable situation and feel relieved 

or receive what we desired this doesn't last long. The 

Dopamine effect is brief. Happiness requires a long period 

of preparation. Here in Korea happiness seems to be a rare 

commonity. The writer makes clear he believes 80 percent 

comes from our effort.

He concludes the article with a list of the virtues and vices.

The practice of one and the avoidence of the other. And a 

line from Psalm 128: "You will eat what your hands have

worked for, happiness and prosperity will be yours."

Responsible For The Words We Use

"The media must be used to build up and sustain the human community in its different sectors: economic, political, cultural, educational and religious. The information provided by the media is at the service of the common good. Society has a right to information based on truth, freedom, justice, and solidarity”(Compendium of the Social Gospel #415). This quote begins an article in the Catholic News Weekly on the media and information by a priest concerned with human rights issues.

If you can't say something nice don't say anything is what many of us heard as children; much can be said for the intention behind these words, for we know words can both heal and kill. More so in this digital world where malicious comments and irresponsible media reports create a vicious cycle of hurts and hostility.

How many are the times when what was said in a private conversation is posted on SNS for the whole world, without any dialog with the person for clarification before posting? Often distorted content of what was said could have been made clear with dialogue but instead used to tarnish the reputation of another.

Recently we had the death of an entertainer right after the 'International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women'. Accepting the fact that our perception of entertainers is not always healthy: they deserve a private life like everybody else.  They also make mistakes not compliant with their reputation and social responsibility.

But is it right for them to suffer from unsubstantiated accusations and malicious mockery? Comments that tell one to die is a type of violence but also reflects on our public misconceptions. Why can't we treat them as friends and neighbors? Is it too much for us to want to protect them? Should it not be seen as a social murder with our indifference. Sadly in our society, their talents are only commodities.

We do have a "Suicide Report Recommendation Criteria" set by the Ministry of Health and Welfare and the Korean Journalists Association. Nevertheless, some irresponsible media introduce gossip about the daily lives of entertainers with suggestive articles. This leads to secondary damage, to the shocked families, not mourning their death but rather producing articles for profit.

False, uncritical criticisms, emotional attacks,  that are different from the facts leave lifelong injuries. But the malicious reports in the press and society that sees it without criticism are all linked together. Malicious reports beget evil, evil creates hurt and disgust. It's a sadistic cycle— a lack of ethical attitudes and personal respect.

In recent years, there has been a growing movement to amend laws on malicious reports and harmful internet comments. These problems have always existed. But the reality is the number of views and advertising-income is good for business.

What are the values we will choose to live by? Do you consider entertainers our neighbors and like all others need to love and forgive? Do we speak, judge and act based on the teachings of faith? A word that flows out of my mouth can remain in the heart of another forever. Truly a word kills or saves a person. At this moment, many words come and go through SNS. Our healthy perception, a word of responsiveness, will help eradicate and bring peace to the terrible situation that prevails in society.

Being A Gift to Others

In the Word and Silence column of the Peace Weekly, the writer introduces the readers to the well known short story by O'Henry: The Gift of the Magi. The poor couple both wanting to give a present to their mate sell their most precious possession to buy a Christmas gift for the other. The wife sells her hair to buy a watch chain for her husband's pocket watch, handed down in his family for generations and he sells his precious watch to buy combs for his wife's beautiful hair.

The Wisemen don't appear in the novel. The writer compares the couple, who were poor but loved each other deeply, to the Magi— sages from the East who have seen the star of the Savior's birth, worshiped the baby Jesus, offering gold, frankincense, and myrrh as gifts. Can the misplaced gift of a poor couple be compared to a precious gift offered to the Savior? The artist suggests such a comparison by the title.

Gold is the symbol of riches both in the past and present. Frankincense is a high-quality spice used in sacred rituals. Myrrh in history has been used as a medicine and perfume. The Wisemen gave what they considered of value as gifts. In comparison, the watch chain and combs are small and simple. It is the love of the couple that makes this poor gift as noble as the Magi's gift.

It is not easy to receive gifts, giving is easier. If you make up your mind, it can bring joy and excitement to someone. In fact, receiving a heartwarming gift is not too difficult. Gifts are surprisingly as pleasant to the giver as to the recipient. When the writer prepares a present, his heart is excited. There is the joy of choosing what to give and imagining the expression of the recipient. Giving a gift is the reward itself.

At times one gives of oneself as a gift to another. Young lovers who are about to marry are giving each other as gifts. "You ravish my heart, my sister, my promised bride, you ravish my heart with a single one of your glances, with one single pearl of your necklace. What spells lie in your love, my sister, my promised bride!" (Song 4:9). "Haste away, my Beloved. Be like a gazelle, a young stag, on the spicy mountains" (Song 8:14).

Another gift comes to the loving couple in the birth of new life. Babies are a different blessing than the human gift of love of the parents. One gesture, one laugh, gives them unimaginable happiness. The child comes as a more precious gift than the universe, bringing the purity and peace of heaven into their world.

Looking back, all of us were once such beautiful gifts. Existence itself brought joy to parents and families.
Again, life itself was a gift. The twilight years, the lonely times, the difficult moments of old age are accepted wholly with His grace.

I want to give my life as a present again. With the remaining time, I want to live as a gift to someone. We can all be gifts. You will be an unforgettable gift to me and I to you. Baby Jesus is everywhere. And we are all the three Wisemen from the East. Good fathers of this land, holding bags of sweet potatoes on this cold winter evening. Seeing the stars in the night sky, the wise men of the east going to Bethlehem.

Meaning Necessary For a Full Life

No life is uneventful. There are mountains, rivers swamps, and roads with thorns. The same is true in the spiritual life and they should be a help in our growth towards spiritual maturity. A priest writes on this topic in his column 'About Everything' in the Peace Weekly.

An old couple came to see the priest. The wife said that her husband was depressed and irritated which made it difficult not only on himself but all those around him and came looking for help. The husband who was reluctantly dragged along showed this on his face. It wasn't a big deal, he said, and was sorry for disturbing the priest but then confessed what was bothering him.

"Father, I lost my ability to laugh these days. I had a prostate cancer procedure four years ago and all went well, but I'm worried because the PSA (prostate cancer tumor marker) has not returned to normal. The surgeon said that prostate cancer even if you leave it alone, you can live for another 10 to 20 years. If I die in the meantime, I won't die from this disease, but from another disease, so there's no reason to be nervous. But I am so depressed now. No matter how beautiful the landscape, I can't feel any pleasure in thinking that 'the mountains and vegetation will be around, but I will be leaving this world soon. So I've been exercising at the gym for 4-5 hours these days, but the depression doesn't go away. I even go to a club where the elderly gather and dance, but to no avail. I've lived a good life and raised all my children, and now I am in a position to enjoy life and instead I am filled with resentment... I don't want to live like this. I have lived for 70 years; I have lived long enough."

Obsession and attachment to life is our nature. Is our brother the only one that feels this way? How will my life change if I get a diagnosis from my doctor that I have a few months or weeks to live? Can you feel grateful for the time you have and prepare for death? Or will you live in pain and helplessness, overcome with fear for the short life? Like the example given we are not going to die right now, but foreseeing death does it depress us? Where does the power to live a happy life with the knowledge of our death come from?

We know anxiety about death can be overcome with the meaning we give to life. But not many people can say with confidence what their lives mean. But anyone can say with confidence, at least that they have managed a household, had children, nurtured them, and have done there best to earn a living. Our brother mentioned above has lived this life as well but its meaning eluded him. However, the meaning of a life worth living was not felt. It is not a big contribution to the world of service and love for others.

The meaning of life is not as great as one would think. The very act of joyful and grateful living in God day by day in doing what we do small as it may be with great love alone is of great significance to the believer. Sister Mother Teresa once said: "We cannot all do great things but we can do small things with great love." The meaning of her life was a life of doing small things which in human terms meant little but in God's view of great meaning.

I wonder if our brother who has lived with God can recover some of the joys of daily life if he can find the meaning of ordinary love in his life. Perhaps in the face of death, we need to feel that the feelings of anxiety and depression are spiritual messages from God to live lovingly the rest of our days.

Education for Wisdom Rather than Knowledge

"Mom's ability to gather information, and grandfather's wealth…" Have you ever heard these words before? This is a prerequisite for getting your child into one of the prestigious colleges. A priest college professor in Eyes of the Believer column of the Catholic Times wants to reflect on the mysterious like faith in education, which promises success only after entering a prestigious university.

In a traditional Confucian society, the enthusiasm for education is evident in the proverb:  孟母三遷之敎
(The mother of Mencius, a saint in the East, moved three times to educate her son.) When living next to a cemetery the child imitated the wailing sound of music, they moved next to a market and the child was initiated in commercial affairs; moved near to a school he began learning about the classics. One needs to be interested in the education of the child is the meaning.

Enthusiasm for the education of their children by Korean parents shows readily in this proverb. It is said that there are many parents who make fake documents to help the selection process and seek ways of receiving preferential treatment for their children as well as moving for their children's education.

By studying well, he became a judge, doctor, professor, and entrepreneur faster than others and succeeded in high office, but he closed his eyes to his neighbor's pain and lived only for his own success. There are a lot of 'responsible intellectuals' in our society who don't smell human.

The purpose of education and learning is to become a true human being, however, today, education seems to aim at success— to have a high position and a good salary.   Human life and death, and all that this comprises are of little concern. Studying with the head without acquiring its broader and deeper meanings and values is to win in competition with a cold heart.

Since the 500 years of the Joseon Dynasty, examinations and the emphasis on one's educational background was the royal road to success. Those of our older generations who lived in poverty and with sorrow were not recognized simply because they lacked formal education.

However, at the end of one's life, it is not the lack of learning and not being appreciated that is the problem but a life without love. Whatever the educational background of ourselves and our children, if we can break out from the cultural bonds that bind us and experience love as a child of God, the self-esteem that faith conveys to our children is a greater asset than any prestigious college can give.

The purpose of true education and learning is not to accumulate knowledge as in a warehouse, but rather to learn 'wisdom', which allows us to expand our vision to the world and reflect and learn from our lives. Indeed, the training of Mencius' mother was successful in all three moves, rather than only in the third place after two failures!

Mencius learns the 'dynamics of death' the limits of human existence and the vanity of life while living by the cemetery. In the marketplace, he encountered the fierce  'dynamics of life' in the buying and selling competition of life. And by the school, he learned the universal value ​​and meaning of life from the pursuit of learning.
 
Even though his own mother's level of education was not high, the words that his deceased mother, left the writer have remained vivid."What if you don't have a Ph.D.  Do not try to be popular but one recognized by God."