Reasons Not to Die

In his column in the Catholic Peace Weekly, a priest psychologist recalls the parents who brought their son, in his early 30s, to see him. The father said that his son attempted suicide a number of times since his first attempt in his mid-twenties and still seeks the opportunity to end his life. Both parents have to keep their eyes on him continually. There is no time to relax because of the tension and anxiety they have about the son.

The father turned to his son telling him to ask the priest whatever he wanted. However, his son was silent and often look out into space and sighed. The mother sat next to the priest with a sad expression and seemed unable to say anything. The three of them came for counseling, no one said a word.

Nevertheless, the priest did not feel the need to be the first to step in and change the mood. He knew that at times silence has more meaning than conversation, the silence is saying more than any words.
 
Parents were burning up insides with the long silence but the young man and the priest were getting to know each other. The young man seemed to realize that the priest was not someone who was ready to teach or admonish. And the priest made the discovery that the young man really did not want to die.

It took thirty minutes after the counseling began for the young man's perusal of the priest to be completed. He  began speaking with the following words."Father, please tell me why I should not die. If I hear it and fully understand, I will not die. But if the reason is no different from what I've heard so far, I will commit suicide."

This young man's question reminded the priest that suicide is not giving up on life, but choosing death. This young man's life was pain and emptiness. Hence, living seemed to mean nothing. He found no comfort and hope in life. It would be much harder to explain to this young man why he shouldn't die than to explain why he should live.

The priest could not offer any word of advice for he knew they would mean little to the young man. Such banality was not what he was looking to find. The young man's request to tell him why he should not die was, in fact, asking the priest to understand his pain. The priest firmly believed that the young man wanted someone to sympathize with him.

Since the first meeting, he has met the young man more than 20 times. Now he is preparing for a test to find a new job, and when he is filled with feelings of hurt or scared he does come to see the priest. This did not mean that his life pains were reduced. The idea that there was one man who could share the pain seemed to lead him to take a step back from despair.

In fact, the priest  would say that "Want to die" is another expression for "Want to live."

Suicide is a serious issue in Korea and has been for many years. A sign that something is not right; pressure and gloom which usually is the lot of the poor is a concern of the country which continues to look for answers.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is here the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Here in Korea a national holiday. Both Catholic papers had editorials on the meaning of Christmas. For the Catholics along with others, a day of rest to enjoy. For the believers, the celebration is a day to meditate on the reasons Jesus came to earth. We don't celebrate the day in the way the non-believers do.

The situation in Korea is not much different from other parts of the world. The bishops of Korea have given their Christmas messages to the nationwide parishes. We are divided into many different camps. Opposition and accusations abound. The ruling and opposition parties, labor, and civil society all try to protect their interests. The North/South situation seemed rosy with the inter-Korean Summit and the United States and North Korean talks but all hope quickly disappeared.

Christmas shows us how in the form of the lowest in society humanity's values of peace, reconciliation, and love are made known. The true meaning of Christmas is seen in the humility, peace, reconciliation, and love shown by the baby Jesus lying in the eating trough for animals.

The church needs to continually remind itself of the connection between the Gospel and Love. It was because of love that he came and died on a cross. The constant practice of the Gospel and the practice of love is the reason for the existence of the church. Consequently the need to check to see if these values continue to be the center of every activity.

The age of grace was opened. Christmas is always after the winter solstice the longest night of the year and the need for light is the symbolism that is associated with Christmas. Christ is the light of the world. The bishops of Korea, each's in their own way urged the believers to be a bridge of peace to the world as children of the light who share the good news of the Christmas message. In particular to imitate God's humility in love of others.

Are the Christians a sign of this love?  Embarrassingly this is not difficult to answer and a tragedy this is what it is. The bishops urged reconciliation and forgiveness, and we be a means of healing and gift-giving to each other. We need to be a source of nourishment to others for peace.  The reality is far from what we dream and hope for.

"The true light that illuminates all has come into the world" (John 1,9). As Christians, if we do not follow Christ who has come as the "light of the world," we cannot illuminate others in darkness. May we Christians who are trying to live the light of life in celebration of the birth of Baby Jesus be able to see the contrary signs and the dark shadows of nationalism and conflict among the powers of vested interests.

Merry Christmas and may the graces help us all to be open to the ways we are called to be the children of the light.

Samsung Founder's 24 Qustions On Life

The founder of the Samsung group, Lee Byung-chul in 1987 handed a paper to a priest friend with 24 questions that he compiled over many years and was asking the priest for answers.

The priest gave the questions to a scholar priest, a professor at the Catholic University of Korea, who prepared the answers and planned to visit the founder with the answers. Chairman Lee's health did not permit it and he died shortly after. This scholar priest after 20 years gave them to a younger priest who wrote a book on the 24 questions and made them known to the world.
 
Many have both within Catholicism and from the other religious groups given answers to the 24 questions from their own different traditions. In the recent addition of the Catholic Times, a bishop in Korea has also written a book with his answers from the Scriptures and had a review of the book in its pages. The wealthiest man in Korea lived with these questions for many years and shows us the anguish that we all have in one way or another with many of our existential problems in life.

Here below is a list of the 24 questions:

1) How do you prove the existence of God? Why did he not make it clearer?

2) How can you prove that God is the creator of the universe and all created things?

3) Biologists maintain that humans are the outcome of a long process of evolution, how is God's creation of humans different? Are not humans and other organisms the results of evolution?

4) It seems that life can be made in a laboratory, and the possibility of the extension of life without disease, would this not bring about the denial of God?

5) If God loves us why do we have pain, misfortune, and death?

6) Why did God create evil persons? Examples: Hitler Stalin.

7) What are the sins that Jesus came to save us from and yet leaves us to continue to sin?

8) How were the Scriptures made? How do you prove they are the words of God?

9) What do we mean by religion? Why is it necessary?

10) What is the soul?

11) What are the different kinds of religions and what are their characteristics?

12) If we don't believe in Catholicism we can't go to heaven? Those who don't believe, atheists, others with different religions many are good people when they die where do they go?

13) All religions have the same goal of living a good life, why then do you consider Catholicism best and the other religions heretical?

14) After we die the soul does not die, how can we believe that it goes to heaven or hell?

15) Without religion, many enjoy riches and honors what is God's teaching about this?

16) Scripture says that for a rich man to go to heaven is like a camel going through the eye of a needle, does this mean all the rich are bad?

17) 99 percent of the Italian population is Catholic, why so much disorder and crime and why aren't they a good example to the world?

18) Some Catholics are as demented as some of the Communists, how are they different?

19) Catholicism and Communism are mutually incompatible, why did so many Catholic Nations become communist? (eg. Poland and Nicaragua)

20) In Korea, it seems there is a church after every second house and we have many believers, so why do we have so much crime and suffering?

21) They say the Pope can't make a mistake, he is human, why so self-righteous?

22) What kind of person is a priest? Why celibacy? What kind of a person is a religious sister? Why celibacy?

23) Some Catholic groups consider industrialists as exploiters of the workers and foster division within the workforce, is Catholicism against the capitalistic system and its virtues?

24)Is the end of the world coming?

The bishop tells the Christians in his answers to the 24 questions that we are meant to be the salt and light of the world. Approaching Christmas we need to remember he did not choose us because we are good but we have the chance to be good because we accept his love. When we contemplate the infinite love of God are we not called to respond to that love and strive to be good?

Changing the 'Frame' We View Life

In the Eyes of the Believer column of the Catholic Weekly, a parish priest gives the readers his thoughts on the 'frame' by which we view the world and our problems. The frame we use will determine the results.
 
He gives an example of prayer. One parishioner asked a priest if it was alright to smoke while praying. The priest answered, that prayer is a conversation with God and one doesn't smoke while praying. Another parishioner approaches the priest asking shouldn't we pray while we smoke? With a gentle smile: "Brother, there is no special time or space for prayer it's always a good time to pray (Example is taken from a book).

Consider the frame by which we see Confession of sin. According to our teaching, every believer should confess their sins at least once a year. According to the 2018 Korean Catholic Church statistics, the reception of confession fell by 15.1% from the previous year;  compared to other sacraments it was the biggest drop. Very likely the numbers will continue to drop. Why with a growing number of new believers do we continue to have a drop in the reception of the sacraments? One of the reasons is that the church emphasizes confession as a "duty" instead of seeing it positively as a healing and reconciling.

We know that our culture moves continually on focusing on personal needs and freedom—individualism. This profound influence on culture can't be ignored. Each person is important and the only frame of reference considered by many: will it not determine how society functions?

Continuing to speak about duty is ineffective. We need to make clear the reason for the self-exposure of our faults and sins as a healthy and healing approach to a happy and peaceful life.

Another area in which we need a new frame is the way we approach abortion. At present the Criminal Code punishes abortion but recently it was declared that the present law is not consistent with the Constitution and by the end of 2020 if the law is not amended the abortion penalty will be abolished.

 Catholicism opposes abortion with the culture of life movement but the efforts to expand, go deeper and gain maturity require reflection on many different areas of life if it is to be effective. We hear the criticism of the Church's traditional approaches from many sections of society.

We miss the opportunity of taking time for education and discussion on the dignity of life and instead continue to send down commands from above to respect life. This needs to be changed from not only the fetus but from conception to death in all aspects of life.

The church should ask whether pregnant women have sufficient requirements to bring life into the world? The vision of the present movement for life is too narrow, and easily misunderstood by many in society.

Abortion campaigns have limitations and need more attention and participation. If the church accepts this criticism, it should change its frame from the existing culture of life movement where what most people hear is that Abortion is Murder, to a new culture of life movement that links existence with our daily life.

In the meantime, if the object and horizon of the culture of life movement are not only focused on the 'fetus' but looks at life broadly and sees the culture of death as violence, hate, discrimination, etc. than we will see the need for a culture of love and life that will include the fetus.

Quality of Life and Welfare Policy

In the Peace Weekly, peace column, a specialist in welfare matters gives us her thoughts on policies and expectations for the future.
Quality of life is the way an individual subjectively sees and can participate and enjoy life— an evaluation standard that comprehensively understands the lives of a nation's people. Based on the factors that make life worthwhile, measured are the objective living conditions and the subjective perceptions and evaluations of citizens.

In a recent evaluation of the quality of life, Koreans are still interested in economic stability. In general, as society matures, interest in non-material values ​​increases. In Korea, it is noteworthy that 'economic stability' has emerged as an important factor up to the present even though 30 years have passed.

In the OECD survey, Korea ranked 30th out of 40 countries, and one of the chronic problems that lowered the quality of life indicator ranking was anxiety due to the decrease in real income. Social psychologists say that the anxiety of modern people is caused by problems that cannot be overcome by individual efforts such as recession and inequality.

Important to recognize that when a state or government is not providing solutions to individual anxieties and social solidarity is difficult to anticipate, humans have difficulty enduring the uncertainties and eventually are expressed in radicalized thoughts and actions.

There is a high correlation between the many self-inflicted deaths because of unemployment and the difficulties of life. According to the Ministry of Health and Welfare's 2018 Suicide Survey, the rate of suicide increases rapidly the longer you stay in the lowest strata of society and lower the income level. After the physiological needs, security is the first before all others that needs to be satisfied.

When this is missing, government-level social safety nets are not functioning properly and loopholes and limitations are exposed. In addition to the government, it is also essential to raise interest in society. The analysis suggests the public-private sector should cooperate closely with each other. All working to bring together the community.

Pope Francis said that if modern technological advances cause obvious inequalities and become hostile to the common good, it is not real progress, but unfortunate regression ruled by the law of the strongest. Emphasizing the need to reach out to those who cannot stand alone, warning that the existence of the poor, the marginated, can be treated as annoying, consumables.

The current government is providing the opportunity for "welfare" to shift away from political slogans to "policy." Last year, they spent the largest ever share for welfare spending in Korea, a positive factor in expanding the welfare system. However, despite these achievements, if the plans and directions are wrong, you have events like those described above.

Social welfare experts are calling for strategies for welfare structure reforms to ensure the sustainability of welfare systems. Welfare sustainability and development are shared responsibilities and should be pursued in cooperation with the public sector as well as businesses, workers and all segments of society. The blind spots in the system need to be uncovered, a project urgently needed to find answers by listening to voices in the field, and not only with table theory.

Happiness Is the Fruit of a Process

Over the mountains, far to travel, 
people say, Happiness dwells.
Alas, and I went in the crowd of the others,
and returned with a tear-stained face.
Over the mountains, far to travel, 
people say, Happiness dwells.   

In the Kyeongyang magazine a teaching 

professor in psychiatry begins his article on

Happiness, with the above poem by the 

German poet Uber den Bergen. All of us 

know that we never have happiness under 

our control. Known, but at the same time 

sad. Happiness is the desire of all but not easily realized.

Many are the rights that humans can truly hope to realize.

The right to be free from a disease. Just up to a few 

centuries ago half of the babies would die. Those who were 

fortunate to live through infancy would face hunger and 

contagious diseases. Those able to see their

grandchildren were few. To die in old age was rare.

Today this is taken for granted in many societies.

The right to liberty is something like air we breathe but 

about a half a century ago women were not able to vote 

or own property. One's freedom came with the social class

they belonged to at birth. Freedom of encounter, religion, 

street address and the like were all controlled.

There is no question that we are now freer, healthier and

live longer than in the past but are we happier? The Korean 

Constitution makes clear the various rights citizens 

have: right to be respected, pursuit of happiness, life, 

liberty, equality... What is interesting is that all except 

happiness are rights but happiness is not—we are given the 

right to pursue happiness. 

This was added to the constitution in 1987, it is believed this 

came from the United States Declaration of Independence. 

No one is able to give one happiness, neither the

State or society but only the opportunity to pursue it.

Originally happiness was the practice of virtue for a 

full life which opened one to the goodness of happiness. But

it suddenly changed into emotional peace and pleasure. 

Results  of mental activity is behavior but now we have

mental activity without behavior considered as happiness.

A person who is a good cook prepares a nutritious and 

delicious meal. An expected result of her skill. But what has

happened is we have cancelled out the expert cook, the 

ingredients, the devotion of the cook and the 

process and look for the emotional joy of a delicious meal.

The pursuit of happiness is much of the same as the 

example of a delicious meal.It's a process. If we cancel the 

long period of preparation and just expect happiness,

something is seriously amiss.

The results of 'emotional happiness' do not last long. When 

we get rid of an uncomfortable situation and feel relieved 

or receive what we desired this doesn't last long. The 

Dopamine effect is brief. Happiness requires a long period 

of preparation. Here in Korea happiness seems to be a rare 

commonity. The writer makes clear he believes 80 percent 

comes from our effort.

He concludes the article with a list of the virtues and vices.

The practice of one and the avoidence of the other. And a 

line from Psalm 128: "You will eat what your hands have

worked for, happiness and prosperity will be yours."

Responsible For The Words We Use

"The media must be used to build up and sustain the human community in its different sectors: economic, political, cultural, educational and religious. The information provided by the media is at the service of the common good. Society has a right to information based on truth, freedom, justice, and solidarity”(Compendium of the Social Gospel #415). This quote begins an article in the Catholic News Weekly on the media and information by a priest concerned with human rights issues.

If you can't say something nice don't say anything is what many of us heard as children; much can be said for the intention behind these words, for we know words can both heal and kill. More so in this digital world where malicious comments and irresponsible media reports create a vicious cycle of hurts and hostility.

How many are the times when what was said in a private conversation is posted on SNS for the whole world, without any dialog with the person for clarification before posting? Often distorted content of what was said could have been made clear with dialogue but instead used to tarnish the reputation of another.

Recently we had the death of an entertainer right after the 'International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women'. Accepting the fact that our perception of entertainers is not always healthy: they deserve a private life like everybody else.  They also make mistakes not compliant with their reputation and social responsibility.

But is it right for them to suffer from unsubstantiated accusations and malicious mockery? Comments that tell one to die is a type of violence but also reflects on our public misconceptions. Why can't we treat them as friends and neighbors? Is it too much for us to want to protect them? Should it not be seen as a social murder with our indifference. Sadly in our society, their talents are only commodities.

We do have a "Suicide Report Recommendation Criteria" set by the Ministry of Health and Welfare and the Korean Journalists Association. Nevertheless, some irresponsible media introduce gossip about the daily lives of entertainers with suggestive articles. This leads to secondary damage, to the shocked families, not mourning their death but rather producing articles for profit.

False, uncritical criticisms, emotional attacks,  that are different from the facts leave lifelong injuries. But the malicious reports in the press and society that sees it without criticism are all linked together. Malicious reports beget evil, evil creates hurt and disgust. It's a sadistic cycle— a lack of ethical attitudes and personal respect.

In recent years, there has been a growing movement to amend laws on malicious reports and harmful internet comments. These problems have always existed. But the reality is the number of views and advertising-income is good for business.

What are the values we will choose to live by? Do you consider entertainers our neighbors and like all others need to love and forgive? Do we speak, judge and act based on the teachings of faith? A word that flows out of my mouth can remain in the heart of another forever. Truly a word kills or saves a person. At this moment, many words come and go through SNS. Our healthy perception, a word of responsiveness, will help eradicate and bring peace to the terrible situation that prevails in society.