Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Mother's Love Forms Society

From the first moments we enter this world, we fall in love: our first love. From the sixth month on, we recognize faces and we have human love. The baby knows she is loved and she continues to cultivate this emotional love.

A professor of psychology, in a Kyeongyang magazine article, introduces us to a mother's love which builds the world. Like all love one wants to be with the one loving and when separated the baby cries and is unhappy. When another face appears the baby is afraid. She wants to be with the mother, this is the way the first love enters our life.

This first love can be called attachment. When the baby is nestling in the bosom of the mother she is experiencing for the first time the emotion of love. All love leaves behind traces which influences us in life. It changes our attitudes in the way we see life.

Nobody enters the world because they wanted to. This first mutual relationship will nourish trust and become foundational. Trust gives the child confidence in the world in which she is born. However, there is the possibility that the child does not receive positive feedback from the feelings of attachment needed but rather a lack of trust in its surroundings and a feeling of isolation. This will appear later in the way the child relates to others.

They have seen the results in those who enter kindergarten. Those that were affirmed in their attachment are seen in relationship with their friends mixing easy and comfortable. They are helped in their ability to relate and the level of aggressiveness is low. This appears also in entering elementary school. 

He uses the experiments by Harry Harlow, psychologist, who separated infant monkeys from their mothers after birth and raised them in another cage. They were given all the necessary food and drink but separated from the attachment to the mother and deprived of the mother's love. After 3 months they were put into a cage with other monkeys their age. In the beginning, frightened, they sat in a corner with their hands on their face. This would change gradually and they would associate but in time they became aggressive.

Harlow's experiments showed children who were raised in institutions instead of the home would have a higher degree of aggressiveness. Attachment to the mother influences the social gifts and emotional life.

This attachment has to be formed not only with the mother but with all those who come in contact with the child: father, grandfather, grandmother the nanny...they all need to build an attachment.

The professor concludes that in our society it is difficult for mothers who need to work to be the 'super moms' society wants. This fact often makes mothers feel guilty when the caring person is someone other than the mother.

In great part, the problem is a lack of interest in the nurturing of our infants in society. It's not giving the care of the child to another loving person but the guilt feeling of the mother which interferes with the forming of the attachment with the child. This is a reason society needs to take an interest in the nurturing of our young people for the good of society.

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