Families who have lost someone to suicide live as if they are criminals. The moment they tell neighbors that a family member or acquaintance has committed suicide, people start whispering. Instead of offering comfort, people looked for reasons for the suicide in the bereaved families, saying things like 'the family devoured its own' or 'there were always problems in that family.' This inflicts secondary trauma upon the families. Burdened with self-blame for not preventing the suicide and the criticism from neighbors, the bereaved carry the cross of guilt in their hearts for the rest of their lives.
Even their own parish was uncomfortable. Suicide was a major event in the neighborhood, spreading gossip instantly. Families stayed quietly at their local parish, only consulting with priests or religious members. That is why Masses, where only families who lost someone to suicide could gather, became a sanctuary where they could reveal their true feelings.
Seeing volunteers who persevere through deep sorrow and live their lives offers comfort to the bereaved. Even before Mass begins, the church is already a sea of tears. Families participating in Mass cried while looking at the crucifix, singing hymns, calling out 'Lamb of God,' and receiving the Eucharist. The priest leading the Mass could not hold back his tears and cried with the bereaved.
Although the bereaved participating in the Mass were strangers to each other, they wept comfortably during the service, as if it was okay to cry here. Families who have lost someone to suicide are classified as a high-risk group from the moment after the loss. Since most suicides occur suddenly and unexpectedly, the psychological pain for those bereaved by suicide is greater than that of ordinary bereaved families.
According to the '2023 Suicide Prevention White Paper,' 83.3% of suicide-bereaved families experienced 'depressive symptoms after losing a loved one.' Nearly 60% thought about suicide themselves, with the highest risk occurring 'within 3 months after the loss'.
Masses for suicide-bereaved families save lives. In this way, although the bereaved are exposed to the risk of suicide, they receive spiritual comfort.
It is not easy for bereaved families to obtain information or find institutions to receive spiritual comfort. Even in Korean churches, the only Mass for the families of suicide victims is held at the Suicide Prevention Center of the One Heart One Body Movement Headquarters.
It's been almost a month since we started 2026. I hope that by the end of 2026, the 'Mass for the families of suicides' will disappear.
