One of the most significant weaknesses of modern society is the difficulty of listening to others. People are good at expressing themselves because of their strong opinions and personalities but are not used to listening. In fact, we have all experienced that it is much more challenging to listen to others than to speak. This is a common experience for all of us. Wasn't Adam, our first human, also expelled from paradise because he didn't listen to God?
A monk asked the abbot, "I can't control my tongue. What should I do?" The abbot asked, 'Are you at peace when you speak?' He replied, 'No'. The abbot said, "If you are not at peace, why are you speaking? Keep your mouth shut. It is better to listen than to talk."
This adage emphasizes the wisdom of listening. Words do not guarantee us peace. Excessive and empty words rather deprive us of inner calm and peace. We live in an era where words are too many. There can never be peace in a place where you don't have listening, and you can't expect dialogue, compromise, reconciliation, and unity. That may be why our society struggles to overcome conflict, confrontation, violence, and division. What we need more than anything is listening. Why is that?
Listening is the premise of the conversation. We share our thoughts and opinions through conversation and get to know each other. To do this, we first need to listen to the other person. If you don't listen, the conversation won't work. The conversation goes nowhere if you only emphasize your words, thoughts, opinions, and arguments. The same goes for prayer, which is a conversation with God. First, if you constantly repeat yourself rather than listening to God, it's not prayer. That's why listening is essential and must precede.
It's important to listen, but you must listen carefully. If you listen incorrectly, you can get a wrong response. It's always the same answer when people listen to what they want. The prerequisites for listening well are silence and an open mind. These two must go together. No matter how silent you are, you can't hear the other properly if you close your heart. This is because stereotypes, prejudices, and biases that make for a closed mind prevent us from hearing properly.
Listening half-heartedly is not authentic listening. Listening should be done with respect. Such listening will enable genuine dialogue and pave the way for peace, free from conflicts, confrontations, grudges, and division.
Listening is directly related to obedience. Christians know why obedience is essential in our faith journey. 'Obedientia', derived from the Latin verb "audire," means "to listen." "Be obedient to your parents" is like "listening to your parents carefully." As such, obedience begins with listening. However, it does not stop at simply listening but is completed when you practice what you hear.
By obeying God, we return to Him again. This means listening to God and living according to His word. At the heart of God's word is love. Therefore, the path of obedience is the path of love. Jesus set us an example of obedience. He took a path of obedience to his father, which was possible because of his love for God and us. As disciples of Christ, we will return to God through this path of obedience, the path of love.
With the 'Desert Fathers', 'listening' was the word emphasized by disciples. A disciple was a person who listened to and practiced what his teacher taught. The disciple had to obey everything the teacher said unconditionally. Obedience to the teacher was thought to be obedience to God. The disciple cleared his mind and tamed his passion by obeying, eventually achieving inner peace.
A monk is a 'listener'. This means that he is a disciple who learns rather than teaches. His true teacher is Christ. We Christians are also disciples of Christ. That is why you must always remain a listener and practice what you hear. A disciple of Christ is a person who always listens to God and practices his will while trying to listen to and respond to the world and people. He is a constant learner.
You can become more talkative as you get older through your accumulated experiences. You can also be tempted to teach others with more intensity. In order not to be treated as an old fogey, you must reduce your words and show the wisdom one has gained from experiences through actions and life. In our era of talking a lot, listening and speaking with our lives may be more effective. Listening is a sign of a student. If we want to be true disciples of Christ, we need to be the 'listener' rather than the 'talker.'
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