What Is Really Insignificant?

A writer for the Catholic Times describes her reactions when she saw a one million, four hundred thousand dollar car on her way home in a taxi. As the car passed by, the taxi driver gave her some facts on the car and mentioned there are two such cars in the country. (I went to the internet to see what such a car looked like and the first reference that came up was, if it can be believed, an eight million dollar car a German company is planning to introduce soon.) The driver, seeing her expression of doubt, added that the owner of the car probably doesn't have time to go home and relax. The taxi driver thought it was time for some humor. It was like seeing, she said, one of the most expensive homes in Seoul passing by. She was busy trying to calm herself; anything else the driver continued to say about the car was not registering. When she arrived at her destination and paid her taxi fare, she remembered later, that she forgot to get the change.

She wanted to know why she was getting angry about something she knew was unimportant. Why were small things upsetting her while the serious things tended not to? It reminded her of the shepherd boy calling out wolf so many times that when the wolf did come, no one listened. Having heard so many lies over many years, she believes it becomes difficult to respond properly even when hearing matters of import. She had become apathetic, or, more accurately, wanted to be. The latent anger she has buried within tends to appear at trifles that are the common fate of most of us.

Organic lettuce, two days after purchase, became mush; the dry cleaner made her pay the price of a coat for a jumber; the bus she waited for a half hour passed by because no one was getting off; the printer was jamming; she had no oil to prepare her fried rice. She was getting upset at these trifles, and blamed her reactions to a lack of virtue.

She mentions the well-known Zen story about the university professor who goes to a master of the spiritual life to ask for some help in living with wisdom. They sat down at a table and the master offered him tea, and as he poured the tea he didn't stop. The tea fell from the cup onto the floor and the professor protested, "What are you doing? The cup is full isn't it?" The master said, "Like this cup, you are filled with all kinds of thoughts, desires, plans and convictions. To accept what I want to give, you have to empty your cup, otherwise, like the tea, what I say will be wasted." The writer wonders if she also is too "filled up" to see what is important in life.

She concludes with the hope that she will come to see what is important and not be sidetracked with the purely inconvenient. However, she admits that separating the significant from the insignificant is not always easy. She is not sure that the feeling aroused by the car she saw was something insignificant.

Not All That Glitters Is Precious

It is refreshing to hear stories of persons who don't follow mainstream thinking. The managing director of the Catholic Peace Weekly and Peace Broadcasting, celebrating 22 years of service to the Catholic community, in the anniversary editorial proclaimed this direction for the paper--a very bold statement in today's world.

Twenty-two years is not a long time, but he says they have seen, heard and learned a great deal during that time. The introduction of smart phones to the Korean society has brought in many changes, affecting not only the way we act but the way we think.

He also notes that computers, without discounting their enormous benefits, are in some ways a mixed blessing to our children. Having been introduced to the imaginary world of computers at an early age, children are having difficulty distinguishing the real from the imaginary. These same children will become the adults of tomorrow. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we might begin to understand the scope of the problem and what can be done to help solve it.

When these technological advances begin to lose their charm, we will, he feels, get back to the things of God, but when that day comes, he worries that it may be too late. We have to contend with the success and widespread use of the new technologies by all levels of society, which can distort the way our society sees many of the values of the past. If listening to God in our hearts means not following the crowd, then we will not unthinkingly accept everything that is new.

He was encouraged to hear a writer say he was not going to write with his eyes on the audience rating; his writing will be determined by what he thinks is good. It's a position the director has expressed many times, though it's not considered good business practice. To keep the values of the past and not be influenced by the distortions of the present, he is willing to take a step into the past. There are, after all, values in life besides material success. What we need now are more successful examples of those who are swimming against the current to maintain their integrity and honor, not only for themselves but for the society they live in.

Fewer Words And Desire For More Meaning

A Korean novelist who writes for the Catholic Times has a desire for mini- fiction. Being a novelist she gets quite a few books each month from her acquaintances-- on average over 10. Besides the books she acquires on her own, her work as a novelist, and age, which makes it harder to read and concentrate, she cannot continue as in the past, and so the desire for mini-fiction.

Reading a novel takes time; a short novel probably half a morning, and then there's the time involved in writing --all the while thinking about the novel in her own mind that she wants to write. She wonders at such times, whether her efforts on a novel are worthwhile. Will the novel be of interest and of value to anyone? What will they gain by reading what she has written? These thoughts paralyze her--the dreaded writer's block--and she is not able to continue.

At these times, as a way out of the problem, she plays with the idea of mini-fiction.
A new area of literature in which one writes very briefly, a scene or page-- a novel. In a few lines, you expose exquisitely the core of your story. She mentions South America, where this genre first developed, and the writer Borges.

Going way back in Korean history there were many who succeeded in writing short stories. Spanish novelist, Augusto Monterroso, who was known for his short stories, especially the mini-fiction (complete in seven words): "Upon waking, the dinosaur was still there." And, Hemingway gives us his six word mini-fiction: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

She tells us that Jesus' short stories, his parables, are hard to beat. They were oral stories that have been compiled by the authors of the Gospels and have entertained and instructed many over the last 2,000 years. They are filled with great meaning for all, even with the passage of time.

With the internet and the small bytes that we are getting accustomed to, the future is going to demand fewer words and more meaning. Newspapers are having a difficult time, and we will probably see the impact of the internet on the fiction-reading public in the years to come. Her desire for less pages with more meaning is easily understood.

Where Do We Look For Love?

" Where do we find love?" was an article I recently read. The writer, as a young boy, remembered attending a small Protestant Church in his neighborhood. The service had ended and it was time for snacks. The minister asked the children for questions; the young boy raised his hand and boldly asked, "They say we have a soul. Where is it?"

The minister, laughing, asked him: "Do your parents love you?" The boy answered yes, and the minister asked again: "Where is that love?"

The writer tells us that it was the first time in his life that he was introduced to abstract concepts; on that day, he became conscious of the unseen world.

If our heads do not understand, we tend not to believe, he writes, and what we cannot verify with our eyes we put on the back burner. We see and believe what we want to, and in most cases we depend on things that are not certain. We often follow mistaken certainty, and our actions follow suit.

We hear, notes the writer, that we only use a small part of our brains--true. But we've also heard that listening to Mozart will increase a child's IQ. This is not true and has been generally recognized as such for sometime. It was once thought that venting your feelings was good for you; now they tell us differently.

In Korea, we were captivated by the idea of EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) that came in from the States. Parents of perfectly normal children, with no need for this exposure, were sending their children to academies to learn all about it, spending thousands of dollars. It was the thing to do.

Instead of too quickly accepting what is being passed around as the truth, we have to begin by getting rid of what is covering our eyes, getting down humbly on our knees and clasping our hands. Knowledge that is not ripe, mistaken convictions, mass thinking and unquestioning belief should be discarded. He concludes the article: "We do not fix our gaze on what is seen but on what is unseen. What is seen is transitory: what is unseen lasts forever" (II Cor. 4:18).

"A little learning is a dangerous thing; drink deep or taste not..." is a saying we are familiar with and know to be true. There are many things that we think we know but are deceiving us. This may be a blessing in many cases, as we sometimes struggle to know the truth, but it should also humble us and enable us to be open to truth that may come into our lives in different ways, grace not the least.

Attempts to See Marriage as Sacrament

The Korean Bishops' Committee on Family, in their recent seminar, considered the widespread problems connected with marriage: deciding to marry late or not at all. There is a sizeable increase in the numbers that do not plan to marry and who defer marriage, who prefer international marriages, and who divorce and remarry. The intention of the committee was to see what can be done to alleviate some of the problems.

There is a rejection of many of the traditional values associated with marriage, brought about, in part, by generational changes, financial difficulties, and the cultural aspects of modern life. Marriage is no longer normative but something that one selects. The part played by finances in this selection is important.

The consciousness of women's equality brought a change in society; women's ability to earn a living has also increased the number of divorces. The number of divorces since 1970 to 1990 has increased fourfold. Discrimination in salaries and more difficult working conditions often make women put off marriage, and at times the opportunity to marry is missed.

Catholic families in the cities are healthier and more affirming than families of other religions or those with no religion. This, however, is not the case with the younger generation. They do not have the values of the older generation; their way of looking at marriage is often the same as their
peers, regardless of religious affiliation--except for a slight difference in the way they look at divorce.

The committee concluded that the Church has to be more involved with pastoral care of families; they are the basis of our society. Children are a part of the family and the love that the spouses have for each other should show in the family. The religious education of our children is an important part of bringing about a change in the way our Catholics see marriage. Marriage is a sacrament and a vocation which has to be a part of our Catholic upbringing and view of life.

The article in the Catholic Times suggested 4 proposals to bring about change: Catholics should set an example for the married life. All should work to deepen our faith life. To work not only with temporary expedients but with long-term preventive measures. And to provide programs and educational material for families.

It All Begins By Loving Oneself.

A College Professor writes of his experience in getting students to submit a profile of themselves, at the beginning of each semester, by asking: Who am I? The question is believed easy to answer but many find it's not as easy as they thought. The question not only tends to bring up troubling negative self images, as well as positive ones, but tends to reveal how much we identify with our superficial personality traits. Not content with most of the answers, many students had difficulty in meeting the deadline for the report.

In these difficult times, there are students, fortunately, who are able to have positive self images, but also, unexpectedly, many who see their existence negatively and pessimistically. The professor mentions that he repeatedly tells students to have a positive view of life. However, they are not able to do it. Some constantly belittle themselves, can't forgive themselves for being dropouts or for their inferiority complex, for feeling guilty of something and being alienated from family and neighbors, for worrying about jobs and the future. These are some of the negative profiles received by the professor. .

He uses the moral writings of Hans Rotter, a German theologian, to stress that most of the problems that determine how we react with others and God result from a poor self image. The remedy is to forgive and to love oneself and to realize our dignity. One cannot do this by oneself; help is needed.

He recounts his own difficulty with achieving a positive self image: poverty of his family, problem meeting registration fees, frustrations in not doing well in studies, facing puberty, feeling out of place, no self-confidence with women--all leading to low self esteem and a period of drifting. About 30 years ago, thanks to his wife, he went to church and found himself. It brought confidence into his life, his negativity disappeared, and he now lives with a grateful heart.

A proper self image is necessary to understand our relationship with God and others. The students who saw life positively and had a correct image of themselves were, for the most part, those who had a relationship with God.

The professor stresses that even Catholics may not have the proper understanding of who they are. The love of God and others must start with oneself by acknowledging our dignity and being able to forgive ourselves. Our movement towards the other and to God will then follow.

Another Reason to Enjoy Life

Today is the Church's birthday, a Feast with great meaning for Christians. Wind, fire and tongues have enough information within those words to give us a clear idea of what the Feast can reveal to us, as well as providing thoughts for meditation that can last a lifetime.

A priest of the diocese, reflecting on the Feast of Pentecost, recalled a poem he once read, the poet noting that the oceans are vast and thinking that boats should then be able to travel in any direction, when, in fact, there is a direction each boat must follow. And noting also that the sky is vast, and thinking that planes can then travel freely in any direction, but they too have a route to follow. In the same way, we think we are free, but we also are moved, unknowingly, in most cases, in certain directions by our habits and life patterns.

Although he does not know the reason many of us live with our hearts closed off to this truth--suggesting that it might be because of emotional scars, fears, pain, anger or spite--he names it the chaos before God's creation. God's Spirit, when accepted, changes all of this. The direction that is mapped out for us by the Spirit brings joy into our lives. To achieve this, we have to break the unhealthy patterns and habits we have nurtured over a life time and now determine how we live.

The Christians meeting together on that first Pentecost had been washed and tried in a baptism that they never expected--they died with Jesus. All their dreams, plans and beliefs disappeared. It was not what they expected; they felt lost and demoralized, and showed it by their actions, until the emptiness was filled with the Spriit.

The Catholic Times editorial for Pentecost tells us we have to change. There are divisions we see developing in Korea between the young and the old and between different social levels. If this unnecessary and divisive thinking is not to harm society, we need to empty ourselves so our prejudices, even our stubbornness, do not prevent us from hearing the Spirit. We have to fight against greed, and especially against the manipulations of society when they don't benefit all of its citizens. Unless we make an effort not to be compromised in any way, the Spirit will not find a welcoming home in our hearts.