Hope and Joy are also Contagious

In recent articles on the escalating numbers of suicides in Korean colleges, much is made of the stress experienced by students in striving to succeed. To lessen some of this stress, programs were started to change the atmosphere on college campuses.

A  professor in the psychiatric department of the Catholic University Medical School gave a talk on "Management of Stress and Happiness", as a beginning effort to change the thinking among  students. The journalist who interviewed the  professor introduces us to some of his ideas, which were written up in the Catholic Weekly.

The problem, the professor explains, exists not only among students who kill themselves but throughout society. What happens on a college campus is a microcosm of what is happening in society, and should be an alarm bell for all of us.

Lack of mental and emotional balance in society is the reason for the problem, according to the professor. For true happiness, he says, we need to experience  the harmonious blending of joy, enthusiasm and meaning in life. While students are enthusiastic about their studies, finding joy or meaning as they pursue their studies is difficult, which brings on the stress. Since we as a society place a great deal of emphasis on money, honors and success, we learn to work diligently to acquire these goals, often failing to find joy or meaning in their pursuit, with the result that cynicism follows. Not surprisingly  our students are emulating the same behaviors found in society. For a happy life, the professor advises that we start off with our strong points,  enjoy what we are doing, and find meaning.

 Suicide can also be brought on by our inability to bounce back from the difficulties of life, often from a lack of a positive and optimistic attitude. Optimists use the present to their advantage but when it doesn't go the way they want, they are open to trying something else. Before blaming the social structures  and those in leadership positions, the professor recommends that students find meaning for their life,  enjoy what they are doing, and be positive in their attitude.

The professor says that if there is just one person who listens to those who are troubled and provides understanding support, they are not likely to take the radical step of suicide. To make this approach more generally available,  he wants society to set up support networks on college campuses to change the atmosphere there and then spread this same network throughout society.

He concludes that it is difficult to  change the country but to change 10,000 structures is easy.  If we are able to change the thinking of our future leaders who are now studying in our colleges then society will change. Pessimism, unfortunately, can be contagious. But so is hope, and so is joy.

Taking the Option for the Poor Seriously

Kangwha Island is the 5th largest island in Korea with a long history in defending its freedom. The island borders North Korea, and over the years has suffered much at the hands of outside forces. Today the island is connected to the mainland by two bridges.

The article in the Kyeongyang Magazine tells us of the service to the poor provided by the Kangwha parish, with its mobile laundry truck, a program started in 2005. The parish has from the beginning been very active with its concern for the poor. They had a hospital in the parish in the early years before the country could supply the medical care it does today. They started a credit union and distributed animals to farmers at half price, they are one  of the first Catholic communities to work for the betterment of the life of the workers and the  protection of their rights. During the difficult days of help from the International  Monetary Fund, they helped unemployed families, they have a center for foreign born brides married to Koreans, and a program where those living alone are helped. On  their 50th anniversary, they started a program to help North Korean children.  

The parish drew up the  plans for a 1.4 ton truck to clean clothes and large bed coverlets. The cleaning apparatus can take 30 kilograms of clothes at one time. It takes about 40 minutes for one cleaning. The plans for the cleaning  and drier were drawn up and put together by the parish. The money was raised with the help of many and is operated on a budget of about 16 thousand dollars a year, half raised by the parish and half by the Gun Office.

The laundry truck routine begins by opening the doors of the truck to expose the washing and drying machines. They then find an electrical outlet and get the water and lay the mat down. Each one of the volunteers does their assigned task. And at the end of the cleaning procedure, soft and fluffy coverlets are returned to the grandmothers. The washing and drying  of these winter coverlets is a difficult job, and the grandmothers are very thankful for the service.

The team works at times from early in the morning to evening, depending on how much there is to wash. During the summer months the machines get overheated and break down often. Because of the water pressure and electrical problems, the machines have given them trouble. At times they would like to keep the truck at the parish and have the people come to them, but they continue fixing the machines and going out to  the different areas of Kangwha.

This type of service is welcomed by those living alone, the handicapped, grandparents living with grandchildren, and by parents who both have to work. The Church has made clear its option for the poor, and this team has decided to be part of that outreach. And have done so wonderfully.

Spirituality that Brings Joy, Enthusiasm and Meaning to Life

The Catholic Times  has an article about three priests of the Seoul Diocese who decided to begin an academy for spirituality in 2009, called Wellspring. The number of Catholics in the country now exceed 5 million and yet there's much talk of a lack of spiritual and inner maturity. There is a desire on the part of many to go deeper in their faith life but the Church has not been able to satisfy this thirst. The Academy intends to address this need by exploring the spiritual treasures of our tradition and  helping  the Catholics  incorporate them in their daily life. For those who desire to fill this lack in their spiritual life, the program will be an oasis to invigorate  the beginning of a new life.

The academy is not an effort to give a theory of spirituality but to connect spirituality to daily life, to see life and the world through the eyes of the Church, and to live in the manner Christ has taught us, enlightened by his word, examining and discerning what to do day by day.

The programs have  been favorably received; over 450 have taken the courses. The program is in two sections: basic and advanced. The basic course is divided into three sections: Meeting the real me, Meeting the real us, and Meeting God. This will lead into the advanced program. They will also have internet programs and home programs in the future.

The leaders of this spiritual academy know that there are many retreats and programs in Korea addressing these same goals. They are popular programs but the priests feel  they are not connecting our Catholics more closely with faith-inspired daily living, which is the ultimate goal of the academy programs, penetrating and shaping the lives of the Christians.

Effort will be made to imitate Christ in the world of consumerism and competition we live in, building confidence to face the challenges of daily life. Those in their 40s and 50s have been so busy with work and their families that they have not had time to be concerned with their inner life. They will be asked to find themselves, putting happiness and courage into their lives. This second journey in life will demand a  breakthrough that opens them to a new way of living in their spiritual and mental lives.

We do not need more talks on how to live the virtues but to be one with Jesus. The Catholics are proud of bringing the faith into the country without the help of the foreign missioners. We need a little more of this passion of our ancestors in seeking to deepen the faith that we have received.

"Driven to Kill Oneself"

The guest column in the Catholic Times revisits the problem of suicides in one of our elite schools of learning, causing many to question whether the teaching atmosphere at the school inadvertently leads students to take their own life.

The writer mentions several possibilities that have been suggested by many: the teaching methods, the stress on getting good grades, the way of determining tuition, the teaching in English. How are we as Catholics to see the situation? What should be our response?

For us, it is self-evident that life is precious and should be seen as such. The Church has always looked upon taking  one's life as immoral. God has given us the gift of life, and we should not  violate what we have been given. Life and death are under God's control. Suicide is going against the instinct we have to preserve our life, and also against the love we should have for ourselves.

There is also something else we have to consider. We can readily understand that suicide is an individual act, an act  that results from personal dispositions and reasons, but it's also influenced by the society we live in. A document from a  meeting last year in Japan on suicide concluded that using the word 'suicide' to describe the killing leaves the impression that those who kill themselves are to be blamed. The document suggested replacing the word with the phrase 'those who are driven to kill themselves'. The word used in Korean also should have less of a feeling of finding fault.

Many who have made a study of this subject agree that it is  primarily a feeling of helplessness that takes over, which often happens when we are not able to compete successfully with others. Communicating with others then becomes difficult and the person with the helpless feeling is left to deal with the feeling alone. They are not desiring to die, says the writer; within the distorted thoughts of death is still a desire to live--if only....

The competition that is especially hurtful is the kind that encourages us to win at any cost, the kind that turns others into tools to be used for our success. In contrast to the often ruthless competition of the marketplace is the competition in good faith, which helps personal development and brings about progress.

The proposed reasons why the students and the teacher took their lives should cause us to reflect on the kind of society we are building. Changing our thinking from "making it alone" to relating more with others should guide our actions. We need each other to become what God intended. The law of the jungle, where the weak are exploited by the strong, should have no place in our society.

Catholicism and Equality of Women

The Catholic " Now Here News Site" gave an account of a lecture in Taegu on the influence of the Catholic Church on the lives of women. It's a series of talks by professor Kim Theresa: "Women  Encountering  the Catholic Church: The reason for the enthusiasm  of the women of the  Joseon Dynasty."

Why were the women of the Joseon Dynasty enthusiastic about the Catholic Church? The professor starts by telling us the  advice given to  women going to live with their husband's family: to act as if deaf, dumb  and blind for three years. They were not able to live an independent life and be respected as an individual in that society. Coming in contact with the Catholic Church was truly spreading the Gospel--the good news.

Progress was being made in every area of life when the Church entered Korea, but even though the thinking remained the same, society received a new concept of equality. And, in addition to welcoming the material progress, there was the intellectual satisfaction experienced by those who accepted the Church.

During the liturgy, both men and women answered the prayers together. In the marriage preparations, both men and women were asked the same questions. However, more importantly, the Church did not allow concubinage, which shocked many. The culture had no difficulty with the practice, since widows were not allowed to marry, this fostered the practice.                            

This change in the thinking of women came at the close of the 19th  century, when the Catholic Church was gaining acceptance by large numbers of Koreans. The professor makes clear that not all recently baptized Catholics understood the faith as presented in the catechism of the Church. Even before the entrance of Western material civilization, there was the influence of modern thinking in society through the Church. Women were given responsibility in the Church and were asked to respond to this responsibility which was not readily accepted by Korean society.  

The professor mentions that all these reflections mean little to us today, but if you go back into history the acceptance of Catholicism  required a great deal of courage to overcome the cultural difficulties. The efforts of women to enter the Church were more difficult than it was for the men, but the men also believed, evangelized and practiced their faith.  It's easy for us to consider this insignificant, not knowing the difficult times they lived in.

The article concludes with the professor expressing her hope that women turn their dream into reality by helping to free us from our conflicts and lack of communication, and, ultimately, to change  our society, so all can enjoy the benefits of the equality of the sexes and of all humankind. Also, to make clear that God is giving his grace to all, desiring that we spread this love to all--just as the women ancestors in the faith did so well.

Love Should be a Verb not a Noun

A columnist in the Kyeongyang Catholic magazine writes on the importance of leisure in our lives, and urges us to find time for leisure and to enjoy it now. Written by a member of the Seoul Diocesan Office for Family Matters, he quotes Tolstoy: "The most precious time is now, the most important thing is what I am doing now, the most important person is the one I am talking to now.

The columnist would like to change the words of the quote somewhat to: The most important time is the time with my spouse, the most important thing is working with my spouse, and the most important person in my life is my spouse.

Most would agree with this assessment but finding time to put it into practice is a problem. From the time of Aristotle we have heard that to live most fully is to be fully at leisure.  We work to make time for leisure. The columnist points out that the origin of the English word 'school' comes from the Greek to the  Latin word 'schola,' meaning leisure. The word was used to describe the relationship of the teacher and student in the learning process, which was to be done in an atmosphere of leisure.

He divides time into work time, family time, and leisure time. When they complement each other we have, he says, the best situation: harmonious relationships. Spending quality time with the family and spouse is necessary for a satisfactory family life. It is also a great help in living a healthy life, more so than exercise or going to a health club.

The columnist feels that one of the first things to be done in order to spend more time with your spouse is to control the time watching TV.  We can cheaply watch drama, sports, entertainment, news, education, among other things, but  concludes that with TV the bad points exceed the good ones. We are ignorant of the negative points, he says, because we are not familiar with the long range  studies of  the effects of watching TV.

Koreans spend, on average, slightly more than 3 hours watching TV. Which means that persons living, let's say, 80 years would spend 10 years watching TV. To increase the love in the family, he recommends not watching TV while eating, when in bed, and when talking to family members.  Love is not a noun, he says, but a verb--the doing of something. We do not need a ton of knowledge to know love and its effect on our lives, only a gram of action would be sufficient.

Korean Foreign Brides

Korea, in its text books for grammar school  children, describes the country as racially homogeneous.  This is disputed by many, even historically, but the emphasis on this homogeneity is done with eyes on the North and future unification. The immigrant's  transition to a new life in Korea is made difficult by  this  reference to  their Korean oneness.

A religious sister in this month's Kyeongyang  Catholic magazine revisits the issue of  foreign brides in Korea.  These young women have come to Korea for marriage. This started back in 1970 with the importing of foreign labor. In 1990 the Unification Church, with its international marriage ceremonies ,turned the attention of the people to these marriages. Because of the unequal development of the farming and fishing parts of the country, importing of brides became a part of life. It started with the ethnic Koreans from China, and then the Chinese, the Vietnamese, the Mongolians, among others. With the lucrative possibilities of this new trade, business enterprises got involved and this has increased the numbers and the problems.There are now over 130,000 foreign brides in Korea. 

The sister mentions that even in the best of marriages there are difficulties of personality, environment, and thinking, which couples try hard to overcome. With international marriages they have to overcome also the problem of language and culture, made worse by the marriage brokers who  are interested only in being paid for their services.

In their advertising, these marriage brokers emphasize the obedience and faithfulness of the foreign brides, and use fantasy to entice the Korean men with sexual and  racial stereotypes. The men, for the most part, feel that because they have paid money to buy these women, they have earned the right to consider them their possession. 

There have been many sad stories of some of these marriages in our society. These women, unlike the men, have their backgrounds in another culture, and will be giving birth to second generation Koreans with a new way of being Korean. The ministry of health and welfare has reported that half of these couples live in poverty.

At present, 2.5 percent of the population is from another culture.  Koreans  are not conscious of this reality because of the  racially homogeneous and "pure blood line" thinking handed down from the past. This is making these new immigrants the newly alienated in society.

The sister ends the article by telling us that plant life needs only  0.2 percent of the sun's energy to live. Humans, she says, need just 0.2 percent of a dream to live. What is this dream?  She says it is hope. That is why these women came to Korea. The time that they will be living in Korea is longer than the life they lived in the country of birth. And the reason that we want them to realize their dream  is that they will be mothers in Korea.