Foreign Brides Living in a Foreign Culture

Society faces grave problems, asserts a priest working with immigrants in his diocese, because of the large number of women entering Korea for marriage. Since the year 2000, and particularly in 2002 with the joint hosting of the World Cup matches by Korea and Japan, there has been an increase of 'international marriages'.

Writing for the Catholic paper  the priest lays out three conditions the Church views as necessary for  marriage: love, consent, and contract  He feels that the first two conditions are either weak or missing in most of these marriages, giving rise to many of the problems. But even when all three conditions are present, many of the marriages end in divorce. How much more is this the case, says the priest, when these marriages lack the necessary love and consent of the partners. It is during his work in counseling those in such marriages that he often finds himself at a loss for words and frustrated.

One day a Filipina married to a Korean came to see him. She and her husband were not able to agree about her proper duties as a wife and mistress of the house, so she left him, with no intention of going back. The priest told her to return, for he knew that if she did not, her situation would get much worse. She replied that living with him was little better than being a slave, and that it would be far better to go  back to the Philippines, and be free. The priest understood her situation and no longer urged her to return home to her Korean husband, knowing that without equality in marriage, there is little chance for happiness in such a marriage.    

Another women left her husband after one week, seeing no hope that the relationship would improve. In the beginning they had a good relationship, she said, but because of his increasingly demanding behavior she was not able to continue living with him. When the priest asked why she got married, she explained that being the oldest daughter of an extremely poor family, she felt she needed to support them. 

The priest cited the importance of understanding the role culture plays in adding to the problem.  Because of the cultural differences of marriage partners, the three conditions for marriage are often missing. To illustrate the point, the priest recalls the woman who made her husband some Philippine chopsuey, only to hear angry abuse coming her way after he tasted her version of the dish.  We may laugh at this, and think it's a small matter because most couples share the same cultural likes and dislikes,  but it's not a laughing matter to couples who have to live in a home divided by two different cultures.

Because society does not show much concern for the plight of the 'foreign bride' in these international marriages, the priest would like to see someone take a maternal interest in these women, mentoring them, offering advice when necessary. He suggested that this could be done by setting up a subcommittee in the parish councils that would have these women as their sole responsibility.

Not an Unfamiliar Father- Son Relationship

A columnist of the Catholic Times recounts the not unfamiliar tale of a difficult and, in this case, perplexing father-son relationship. After having "tried everything,"  the parents of a middle-school-aged boy sought advice from a priest. The exasperated father told the priest that nothing worked in getting through to his son; he would just spend his time at home looking out into space. The mother explained that the father tries to be good to the boy, but she believes that his authoritative manner is difficult for the son to accept.

The mother went on to say that during grammar school, the son was obedient, well-behaved, and  a good student. But all this changed in 2nd year-middle school  and it has now come to a point where father and son are not talking to each other.

After hearing what they had to say, the priest  recommended that the father and son go on a four-day  trip.  It was not an easy thing to do but the father was ready to try anything that would better the situation. It was more difficult for the son, but with continual cajoling, he finally agreed. Since the  priest suggested the trip, he recommended they follow certain rules: they were to go to any place the son wanted, respect the son's plans,  and before going to bed exchange feelings on what happened during the day.

Ten days after the trip the priest met with the father and son and saw in their faces that they had a good trip. "Yes, it was a good trip," they said, thanking him.  But the priest was surprised to hear that it  worked out so easily; the father then told him what had happened.

"I was prepared to do everything he wanted but when we arrived at the destination he had nothing planned," said the father. "I was ready to explode. The only time we saw each other was during meals, and whenever we were together he would just stare at the clock. At these times, I felt the urge to give him a beating." 

"There were no plans?" the priest asked. "We went mountain climbing and swimming,"said the father, "but just for a short time; the rest of the time he was in his own world. On the way home, on the train, grace came into our lives. I dosed off and when I awoke, I saw my son looking out the window, crying. I asked what was bothering him, and he told me one of his friends he had helped in school turned against him and began bullying him. He wanted to bring this up but was afraid of how I would react. It was the bullying that had changed everything.  He didn't want to go to school and couldn't concentrate on his studies. I wiped his tears and stroked his back, and he laid his head on my shoulder and continued sobbing."

The son had wanted to draw up the plans for the trip but was afraid of  what the father would say. It was then, said the father, that he realized everything he said or did was noticed  by the son. And that if he had been a less demanding father, his son probably would have told him of the bullying at school much earlier. During the trip, he didn't get angry or do any commanding, which drew the son closer to the father. But the son, not knowing how to behave, did not have the  confidence to speak. The column ends with the priest giving advice that, though obvious, is all too often forgotten: fathers have a difficult task but when they listen to their sons and refrain from getting angry and show patience and understanding, the relationship often becomes one of trust and confidence.

Catholic Publishing in Korea

Koreans are not known as great lovers of leisure time reading. Because of their work ethic, leisure time is not readily available and if it were, they would prefer climbing mountains rather than reading books. This poses a problem for the book publishing business and for the Catholic Publishing Corp., the oldest of the Catholic publishers now working in Korea and celebrating this year 125 years of publishing. The editorial in the Catholic Times reminds the Catholic Publishing Corp. that its history of publishing in the Catholic Church of Korea began in 1859 when the fourth Vicar Apostolic of Korea St. Simeon Francois Berneux began printing books in Korea with  a wood block printing press. This makes it their 152th anniversary and not 125th.

Interviewed recently by the Catholic Times, the priest-president laments that although the cultural advances in Korea are breathtaking, Catholics have not kept up by reading and buying books. Which means the more they publish the more they go into debt. However, this will not diminish, he says, their efforts to get Catholics to read. If we look only at the publishing end of the business we are in the red, he says. But when we look at the evangelizing aspects of the work, it is all profit. It is impossible  to evaluate this aspect of the work by the expenditure of money. When someone has a closer relationship to God by reading a book, that can't be quantified with money.

The present concern of the company, he said, is to hire more qualified  editors, find new  publishing projects, and make the infrastructure stronger, which requires bringing in specialists and significantly increasing the payroll. He will begin addressing these needs by sending a good  number of representatives to the Frankfurt Book Fair in October.

Another concern he hopes to address is the lack of books for young people. This lack is especially worrisome to him because in a society where God is missing, books for the young are crucially important. He hopes to publish more in this area with a more focused sensitivity to the needs of the young. He  also wants to uncover new writers, and begin to invest in the burgeoning e-book market. 

Both Catholic papers praised the ambitious goals of the company, and looked forward  to seeing the company take a leading position in the publishing world. It would be, it said, an important step toward  cultivating a Catholic culture among our Christians.

Globalization and Neoliberalism

 What is the understanding of the Church concerning the almost daily changes in the world? How should the Church respond to these changes? Just as we are told new wine needs new containers, there needs to be a new understanding of what is going on in our newly globalized world, said one of our Korean bishops in his weekly column on economics.

Globalization is to be seen not only negatively, he said. In matters of finance and culture, countries, when not limited by their borders, are benefited in many good and profitable ways. There can be, among other things, sharing of medical knowledge and economic expertise, along with the flow of monies to the underdeveloped countries from the developed countries. Though the proponents of globalization stress the  positive contributions to the global economy,  opponents stress the  negative side. Money that comes into the marketplace from the wealthier countries can tilt the economic scales against the underdeveloped countries and fuel unlimited competition, which favors the developed countries. This face of globalization, which is often called neoliberalism by the opponents, is the other side of the same coin.

In 1970, the recession circled the world; the movement to counter the recession was neoliberalism with its free markets, relaxing of regulations, and emphasizing property rights and individual initiative. The proponents of this position said  government intervention by any country into the marketplace would do harm to its efficient operation, believing that the unregulated forces of the marketplace   guarantee  economic success for all participants. In their view, the least control is best for a smoothly running marketplace otherwise  governments would be forced to spend more on welfare, encouraging the workforce to lose the  desire to work, fostering social unrest. 

It is this potential for disrupting the labor force in the underdeveloped countries, leading to a depressed economy and unemployment, and further alienating its under payed workers that is overlooked by globalization proponents. say their opponents. The developed countries not only are putting pressure to open all markets to the usual goods but are aggressively forcing the underdeveloped countries to accept advanced technologies and questionable items like genetically modified foods, which can negatively impact traditional methods of farming and manufacturing.

Korea, though not an underdeveloped country, has direct  experience of what it means to deal with the power brokers in the grain market. Grain prices are determined not by the free play of the market, but by the big multinational companies and by investor speculation. Adding to the difficulty experienced by many countries, the world bank and the IMF (International Monetary Fund) which provides funding do not always have the poor in mind when it comes to  loans. A fact Korea has experience first hand. The bishop emphasized that both sides of  globalization, as seen by proponents and opponents, must be kept in mind if we are to get a valid picture of the current world economy. Perhaps less pressing, but equally important in the long run, is the harm done to the environment, often cited as a side effect of globalization, which occurs when underdeveloped countries adopt industrial and farming methods of the developed countries in efforts to compete with them in the global marketplace.

The bishop concludes with an example which underdeveloped countries, and those who have more than  economic interests at stake, have difficulty understanding. Why did the United States, he asks, refuse to sign the Kyoto Protocol to reduce greenhouse gases?  Many see this as the United States staying on the sidelines because of the harmful effects to their economy that would result from implementing the Protocol provisions. Though no one believes that the poorer countries can solve the climate problem, since their contribution to the problem is almost zero, the US position seems to be content to leave it up to other countries to solve the problem.

The economic realities today are too complicated even  to begin to give a brief, completely understandable picture of what is involved. But what is clear and indisputable are the many misunderstandings and the bitterness the underdeveloped  countries have toward the developed countries, who are, they claim, the sole beneficiaries of globalization. Whether the accusation is deserved or not, it  should be considered worthy of discussion by the developed countries. Korea, being one of these developed countries, with many multinational companies overseas, would do well to point the way to discussing measures that would lessen the misunderstandings and bitterness that now characterize so much of international trade.














 

New Face for the Catholic Diocese of Seoul

Thirty years in preparation, plans for the reconstruction of the Myeong Dong Cathedral have now been finalized. The date for the work to begin, according to the Peace Weekly, is September 16, a day eagerly awaited by all Catholics, as it was by this site's blog of the day, April 7, 2010: "New Face for the Myeong Dong Cathedral."

Although construction plans are primarily concerned with preserving and enhancing the historic character of the Cathedral, several other objectives will be accomplished. The grounds in front of the Cathedral will be transformed into a plaza and park open to all, eliminating the road that now leads up to the Cathedral. Underground parking beneath the plaza-park area will accommodate the present vehicular traffic, which will not be allowed in the vicinity of the Cathedral, and which now poses problems for the structure itself and for the safety of both pedestrians and drivers, especially when crowds gather in front of the Cathedral on Sundays and for special events. Not only will the underground parking remove some of the congestion, it will  also restore the front of the Cathedral to the way it looked in 1900.
                
A long-cherished desire was to have all the diocesan offices, now in different parts of the city, brought together in one building. That will soon be a reality. Another desire soon to be realized when the construction is complete is to have a Cathedral parish with enough space and modern facilities to serve an estimated 2 million Catholics by the time of the forthcoming 200th anniversary of the diocese.
 
The construction will proceed in four stages and will not be completed until 2029. But it will not take that long for the Catholics of the Cathedral diocese to begin envisioning the many benefits they will be enjoying, sometime in the near future.

Cliquishness and exclusiveness, a criticism that the Catholics do not want to hear, is also a driving force behind the new plans for the Cathedral grounds. The area around the Cathedral is  one of the most expensive pieces of property in Korea and opening it up to all the citizens is a visual effort  of the diocese to communicate with the outside community and to dismantle some of the walls that have prevented easy contact with the larger society.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
                     

Nothing is Free

Once upon a time, as stories in the olden days often began, there was a king who loved his people and wanted them to live the good life. But how could he best do this, he wondered. He decided to bring together the wisest men of the kingdom, and told them to set down in writing what the the people needed to know to live a life worth living.

Hundreds of sages, after much discussion, put together 12 volumes of wise sayings, and presented them to the king. He told the sages that the people were too busy and had no time to read 12 volumes, and that they should reduce the number of books. After reducing the 12 volumes to one, and presenting it to the king, the sages again were told to reduce it further so the people would be able to quickly understand how to live the good life. After some months of further discussion and deep thought, they came back to the king with one sentence:  "Nothing in the world  is free." Of all the wise sayings that have been passed down to us over the years, the sages found this saying to be the most valuable.

The Desk Columnist  of the Catholic Times wants us to reflect on the wisdom of this parable. In Europe, they say: Only the cheese in the mouse trap is free. We know that in life if  one side gives and the other side only receives, this kind of relationship  does not last long. There has to be a mutual giving and receiving to have the relationship continue. That's why our ancestors' "spirit of mutual help," "exchange of services and labor," and "the bucket and water relationship" have been so important to Korean thinking.

God is always giving, but we have to cooperate with what was received and is being received with our 'yes'. The 'free' gift that Jesus gave us, as a token of his love, came with a cost. The whole idea of grace may be misunderstood if we believe it demands nothing from us. Grace is indeed free and is moving us continually, but we can choose  not to  cooperate, to receive but not to give back. This whole idea of justification (whether by grace or by works) has led to one of the most contentious issues between Protestants and Catholics. It is surprising that we have not been able to overcome this misunderstanding  by what we have experienced in life.

Though the saying that "there is nothing free on the earth" may seem not to be true, since we tend to think that the most valuable things on the earth are free, we would be forgetting that even the seemingly free things we are blessed with on earth are not without cost, as the columnist makes clear. If we have received something, even if it seems free, it involves a debt we have to repay, an exchange  between the giver and the receiver, a relationship expressed by "The way we plant is the way we will reap." A principle we do well in following.

Fan Clubs and Sunday School

There seems to be always somebody looking for reasons why something is not going well. In recent years Sunday school programs have not been doing as well as expected, with decreasing attendance the norm in all the parishes. To deal with this situation, and others, many of our young priests are going on for degrees in youth studies, which will bring new ideas into pastoral work with the young.

A  Peace Weekly article profiled a young priest who wrote his master's thesis on the fan clubs now popular with many of our young people, specifically on how much time young people will devote to participation in society as a result of their participation in fan clubs. The clubs can be dedicated to any of various interests concerning the stars they adulate, but in all cases the clubs are run by the  members.   The priest sees a similarity between the deference given to celebrities by their fan clubs and the way Catholics participate in the Church.  Even though club members have never met the stars they adulate, they think of them often, wanting to do what they do, but desiring  nothing in return.

To put it bluntly, we are Jesus' fan club; we are his enthusiasts. While the priest was studying for his thesis a member of a famous band had to leave the band because of what he had said publicly.  For 3 months the fan club marched in silence to have him reinstated.

To gain first-hand knowledge of these fan clubs, the priest joined a club that decided to help a preschool group of children. It was during this time of sharing deeply with the fan club members, seeing their energy, creativity and spontaneity, that gave him the opportunity to discover some answers to the Sunday school problem.

We often say the stagnation we see in the Sunday school programs is due to the passivity of the young people. However, the priest's experience with the group that helped the preschool children clearly showed that passivity  was not the problem. He found that young people, when properly motivated, can be very active; in this particular case, hiring buses, preparing for a concert, and all the while giving the praise for how well the work was progressing to the group they were helping, even though it took time away from their own personal lives.

The priest feels that utilizing  the fan club format and its built-in enthusiasm will help solve the problems besetting our Sunday school programs. We need to make use of the  same energy shown by the fan clubs, he says, its potential for creative and  dynamic action to invigorate the Church programs. As they are now designed, our programs follow the cramming method of education, and the students are not given any opportunity to participate.

His conclusion, using prayer as an example, is to start praying before you start defining what prayer is, before you start reading about it in books. After praying, then share your thoughts  on what was felt, and only then go on to the theory.  We should never forget that before speculating on how to deal successfully with our young people, we need to start by listening to them. remembering that whatever is finally done to correct the present difficulties with the Sunday school programs, our young people are and should remain our main focus.