Getting to a Point Where She Could Forgive

A woman well-known in Korean society writes in Bible and Life of an experience she had recently on meeting the person who had been her supervisor in the tax office where she worked after high school. As soon as he saw her, he turned to those who with him and said, so all could hear: "You all know who this woman is. I helped make her what she is."

The writer reminisces on the short time she worked in the tax office and her boss, who had little authority but wielded it with her harshly and whenever he desired.  She flunked the exam for college, and besides the tax office job had an evening job at a tea room as a classical music disk jockey. She would leave work at the tax office and go on to her disk jockey job and often, because of the importunate requests at the tax office, would be late. Her boss at the tax office had ridiculed her for thinking that she, a high school graduate, knew anything about classical music. And she would have to be always ready to prepare the morning coffee, and the way he would get her attention was by a 'Ya'.

Although it was her boss's superior who hired the three girls in the office, he spoke as if he was the one responsible for her success, which annoyed her greatly. Even after she left the job, whenever she thought of him she would get angry, and now he had the gall to say he made her what she had become.

In the brief meeting with him, he said he knew she would make something of herself and recalled  that he urged her to use the  money she earned to go on to college. She found his words self-serving and didn't want to hear any more. His hand shake was as if they were old friends; this added to the annoyance and she found a way to excuse herself and left.

When she reached home, she went to her diary and looked over some of the entries to recall more clearly those days at the tax office. One of the girls working with her quit because of his treatment. She recorded that she was also thinking of quitting but in another entry, she wrote that all these trials would make her stronger.

There was another entry about a boy she met, at a tea room, that she grew to know well and was even invited to his home to meet his mother. When the mother asked her what university she attended and she answered that she was not attending any, the mother's face showed her disappointment. Since the son was a student at an elite university and in the law department, she easily understood the feelings of the mother: a tea room disk jockey interested in her son must have been 'a punch in the stomach.'

However, on more reflection, she analyzed the Korean word for forgiveness and the English word to forgive. In English, it is made up of the word for and give. It is to give completely. It is not something that is 'earned' by what is done by the one who is forgiven but something you give, regardless of what is done or not done; the one who can give is the one who forgives.

These two people--her former supervisor in the tax office and the mother of the boy who invited her to his home--didn't do anything to destroy her future or anything that made it hard for her to forgive; she knew that.  They did something that we all have experienced, and she considered it 'no big deal.'  They helped her, she said, to take the ordinary  slings and arrows that come our way in stride, and made her stronger because of  them. "I have no reason to hate them but to thank them for what they have done for me," was how she summed up the situation. So the next morning  she took out the card that her old boss had given her when they parted recently, and sent him a text message thanking him for what he had done for her. And, she said, she meant it.

Antidote to Bullying

Bullying is a topic that continues to get a great deal of attention in the press. Middle and high schools have been the focus. The public became concerned because of the violence, harassment, and suicides.  

The problems are not limited to the individuals involved but now includes the whole of society. There are a number of evaluations and prescription for a cure and they deal with coming to grips with problems in the family and society.

The Catholic papers had an interviews with the principal of a Catholic high school in Incheon. He begins by saying, "As a forest gives off a special aroma so also does the St. Andrew Kim high school give off God's aroma: there are no bullying incidents at the school." This was the principal's answer to the question about whether there was bullying at the school.

The principal, when asked about the events in society that have prompted many to poke at the 'hornet's nest', said he found it very depressing. The reason for this, he feels, is that in the past parents educated from their innate sense of what was necessary but today it's being done differently because of the global competition winning is everything.

Education begins in the family, he noted, and than expands to the schools where you can find reasons for violence. The students themselves who are requesting education have within them the seeds of violence.  At the school we consider all the students as our brothers and our children. We have over seventy teachers on the staff, 90 percent of them Catholic, so we are able to function with the Catholic idea of education.  Physical punishment is strictly forbidden but necessary discipline is permitted.

One of the Catholic educators said: "In Catholic schools, students should be given Jesus' value system and helped to live according to these values."

The principal concludes that the foundation of education should be our common humanity and that schools should be able with favorable surroundings to develop the students' strong points. He stresses that religion is like the stomach of a person. If this is sick the whole person is uncomfortable. If religion does not do what it is meant to do in a school setting, violence in some form, he believes, will not be absent.

Understanding Iconography

"Icons are relics of the past, you say? They are rather unchanging treasures in the spiritual warehouses of the 2nd millennium."  These are the words of a Korean priest the Chosun Daily profiles in a recent article.  He spent over four years in a Russian seminary learning the steps to teach iconography and the Byzantine liturgy.  He is the only specialist in the art of iconography now in Korea.

In English, the word 'icon' means an image. For the Orthodox Christian, painting and viewing icons is a spiritual, meditative act, used as aids in meditation, the study of theology, and deepening one's prayer life.  Since the first days of the Church the world  has become complicated. What the saints saw in those early years--the simplicity and self-restraint--is still alive in the icons.
 

The priest began working on creating a center for the study of icons and icon painting in 2003, but it was only last year that it was recognized by the diocese. There have been 150 who have finished the three-year course and have begun their work as icon painters.

He sees the close connection of the icons with the Byzantine liturgy. The liturgy begins with an icon of the nativity. On the altar, the holy of holies, after the consecration the King's door is opened with the images of the Gospel writers, saints and the Blessed Mother,  and through the door,  the priest approaches the congregation for communion. This symbolizes the New Testament times and when they leave the church, they gaze on the icon of the last judgement.

He reminds us that icons are not the exclusive possession of the Orthodox; in the 11th century East and West were united. Icons are part of our tradition and also our way of reading the Scriptures,

To paint one icon takes about 6 month, he explains. You prepare the wooden block, add layers of  glue to the block, cover it with cloth, put the mortar in place, make the coloring with powdered stone and egg yolks mixed with white wine, prepare  the frame, gold leaf where appropriate, and take the final steps to protect the surface of the icon. Great patience is required, a patience that many find too difficult, so over half of  his students leave before finishing the course. It's a long process and demands a great deal on the part of the artist.  It's not just  reproducing an image; every icon is an individual work, made  with prayer: a spiritual attitude in which you become enraptured with the icon.

Not a Tit for Tat Approach to LIfe

The older he gets, says the opinion page columnist in the Catholic Times, the more he feels the distinction between himself and others is disappearing. The sense  'of his being the other' is felt deeply.

As he ages his capabilities are diminishing.  His activities, his movements, thinking, creativity, ability to recreate and enjoy bodily sensations all have been weakened. His days have become boringly similar to the ones in the past, and he expects that future days will follow the same pattern--until he  arrives at the day when it is the same for all.

We came into the world with empty hands and will leave with empty hands. All of us, from the highest to the lowest, rich or poor, will arrive at the end, very helpless, capable of being exchanged with another without much loss.

All who have any semblance of intelligence, he says, know that by helping another we are helping ourselves. Sartre, the existentialist philosopher, expounds on this. Our human psychology is like a delicate machine. For every action, there is a reaction. If I am kind to another, then the person is thankful and returns the kindness, creating a domino effect of shared kindness. Altruism not only is virtuous action but is profitable.

The columnist goes on to tells us that the idea of 'his being the other'  does not have anything to do with this previous paragraph's  tit for tat  approach.   This is not what he means by these words; the thought is much deeper, he says.  "When I am kind to another that very kindness is a reason for my joy. When I do a kindness, before it comes back to me in kindness I  have already received my compensation."

If we all acted without any desire for compensation and did everything out of a pure motive in the coming years, what kind of society would we have? he asks. And adds, isn't this kind of attitude the agape principle? Isn't this what our great teacher Jesus taught us, lived and practiced?

The happiness that comes from loving thoughts and actions are felt more authentically when it comes to us from a giving self and not from the receiving self. This is the example that Christ gave us. The columnist says that his recent awareness that 'the other is me'  is a small revelation to him. He expects there will be more revelations. When he was young, this was not part of his thinking. However, with age, this thought entered into his life, and now feels that he has not entered old age in vain. Age has given him a new way to look at life bringing him confidence and joy.

Something to Shout About

There are many things heard that are far from uplifting, and when there is something to shout about, it seldom gets to be known but stays subdued within a person's heart. However, the Peace Weekly recently had an article about a parish in Seoul that is very proud of its accomplishments and God's working within the community.

Catholic parishes are usually well-filled on Sundays, but on weekdays it's rather quiet. The journalist writing the story arrived at the Seoul parish on a weekday afternoon around 3:00. Although there was a parish Mass going on, there were no other parish activities; yet there were many in the  parish meeting room enjoying beverages, talking and reading. The office worker mentioned, to the surprise of the journalist, that since it was vacation time there were fewer than usual that afternoon.

Not only Catholics but others come to the parish meeting room to spend time, using the vending machines for beverages and socializing around the many tables that have been set up to encourage meeting and sharing with others. The beverages are just a little above cost which makes them attractive both to the congregation and to those not part of the community. In a period of 2 years, 12 different exhibitions were held in the meeting room, which also attracted many from outside the parish community.

The percentage of Catholics in the larger community is over 20 percent. Since the year 2007, and up until last year, they have had 2011 people baptized. And though the parish has been divided, they still maintain the 20 percent. 

The article credits the success of these efforts to the educational programs in the parish, the reading of Scripture and popular books on spirituality.  Every month since 2009, they have had lectures by qualified people, which have been attended by many from the larger community.

Since 2007, the reading of spiritually oriented books has been extraordinary, which has made for a great change in the spiritual development of the Christians. The parish bulletin has recommended 76 spiritual books, and parishioners have  responded by contributing book reviews. And the religious goods store sold nearly 62 thousand books, about 40 books per household of those attending Mass on Sunday.

The money given in thanksgiving each month would be more than the Sunday collections and monthly offerings in the ordinary parish.In addition, the Seoul parish has helped other parishes and groups in the diocese with tens of thousands of dollars. And during the past year, they saw the start of 13 different presidia of the Legion of Mary. Certainly the Seoul parish has accomplished much in a very short time, and has much to shout about.  

The pastor is  quoted in the  article and  alludes to the educational programs and reading  that  have changed the attitude of the Christians. "They have begun sharing with  others. This is the new evangelization that is needed for the new times in which we are in."  he concludes.    

Diminution of the Art of Communication

A sister columnist in the Catholic Times recalls one of the older members present at her lecture and what he said about a subway ride he had taken recently. He noticed that across the aisle from him was a child no more than 3 or 4 years old. She was sitting behind her father, he said, so her movements were not seen by the father.  When making eye contact with the child, he found that without a word being uttered there was a conversation going on between them. She would be playing hide and seek with him, coming out from the 'hide' with a  big smile. There was a long period of non-verbal communication with her, which surprised him;  even grownups, he said, say that his appearance scares them. This child was different. He felt that she could read his heart, and on reflection, he says it was like meeting God.

Hearing this man speak about the incident, the sister was filled with emotion. That child and the old man were doing something that is not common. With all our technical advances, this simple, unsophisticated communication between two people is disappearing.

We rarely look at each other. Riding the subway these days, almost everybody is somewhere else, absorbed in their own world: attending to the digital apparatus they have plugged into their ear and are glued to with their eyes. Everything outside of this virtual world has been shut down. As we are becoming more interested in entering an imaginary world, we are turning ourselves into isolated islands.

The sister asks what has brought us to this harsh reality. There are many answers to the question, she says, but one that affects many is the unlimited competition we face and the resulting insecurity of not being able to succeed in such a competitive culture. But more importantly, we are no longer the masters of our destiny but instruments, means to an end over which we have no control--civilization has become the master. All these gifts that we have received in communication technology should help us relate better with one another instead of separating us from one another.

My happiness, the sister said, depends on the happiness of the other and my love for the other. For the new year, the sister reminds us that  God often comes to us in the guise of the other, and we also are God's path to the other. This should be, she reminds us, our understanding of God's incarnation as one of us.

All those who know God in their lives are conscious that we are both conduits and receivers of God's graces: a message of great consolation and hope.

Mature Spirituality

Writing in Living with the Bible, a professor of spirituality at the Catholic University asks what is of a higher order, spirituality, devotional life, or the religious life? His answer: they are all the same.

Provided we go to church because we believe in Jesus, then all our  acts taken together are our faith life. However, many see these acts only as exterior acts and then judge hastily that they have no interiority or depth. That is why we have the ranking of the life of faith.

What we used to call the devout life is now called the spiritual life.The word 'spirituality' came into common use during the second half of the 20th century. And it is now not only used within the church but used in all areas of society. Spirituality has to do with what is considered unusual and special; it's therefore often thought to be, though incorrectly, of greater worth than the devout or religious life.

In our tradition, the professor reminds us. we used the words 'asceticism' and 'mysticism'. The spiritual writers of the past considered the desire to be one with God the mystical journey. These words, however, are better applied in explaining  the spiritual life. But because of the misunderstandings of the past, the church chooses to use the word 'spirituality,' which, unfortunately, has its own problems.

Some time ago a survey showed that 90 percent of our Catholics go to church for peace of mind. In our present Korean society, there is a  search for psychological peace, which has influenced all of society. Consequently, many see the interior life as simply an aspect of achieving a satisfying and healthy life. So the psychologists become the spokesmen for the spiritual life.

The professor says that though we have hundreds of religions in Korea, for the  most part we live peacefully together. The reason for this, he feels, is that when any religion comes here, it's influenced by the Shamanism permeating our culture, which means, he claims, that it has not always been a worthwhile collaboration.

He recalls the words of St. Paul (Cor. 1-13): "Has Christ, then, been divided into parts?" And the words of St. Matthew (5:48): Our spiritually is one. We are called to be holy like God is holy.... In a word, you must be made perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect....We are called to resemble Jesus." 

These words, says the professor, sums up the spiritual journey we are on. God gives us the graces, and we respond in the practice of the virtues: faith, hope, and charity, the evangelical counsels and all the other virtues, to partake in Christ's mystery, and through Christ  to arrive at God with a new life.