Not a Tit for Tat Approach to LIfe

The older he gets, says the opinion page columnist in the Catholic Times, the more he feels the distinction between himself and others is disappearing. The sense  'of his being the other' is felt deeply.

As he ages his capabilities are diminishing.  His activities, his movements, thinking, creativity, ability to recreate and enjoy bodily sensations all have been weakened. His days have become boringly similar to the ones in the past, and he expects that future days will follow the same pattern--until he  arrives at the day when it is the same for all.

We came into the world with empty hands and will leave with empty hands. All of us, from the highest to the lowest, rich or poor, will arrive at the end, very helpless, capable of being exchanged with another without much loss.

All who have any semblance of intelligence, he says, know that by helping another we are helping ourselves. Sartre, the existentialist philosopher, expounds on this. Our human psychology is like a delicate machine. For every action, there is a reaction. If I am kind to another, then the person is thankful and returns the kindness, creating a domino effect of shared kindness. Altruism not only is virtuous action but is profitable.

The columnist goes on to tells us that the idea of 'his being the other'  does not have anything to do with this previous paragraph's  tit for tat  approach.   This is not what he means by these words; the thought is much deeper, he says.  "When I am kind to another that very kindness is a reason for my joy. When I do a kindness, before it comes back to me in kindness I  have already received my compensation."

If we all acted without any desire for compensation and did everything out of a pure motive in the coming years, what kind of society would we have? he asks. And adds, isn't this kind of attitude the agape principle? Isn't this what our great teacher Jesus taught us, lived and practiced?

The happiness that comes from loving thoughts and actions are felt more authentically when it comes to us from a giving self and not from the receiving self. This is the example that Christ gave us. The columnist says that his recent awareness that 'the other is me'  is a small revelation to him. He expects there will be more revelations. When he was young, this was not part of his thinking. However, with age, this thought entered into his life, and now feels that he has not entered old age in vain. Age has given him a new way to look at life bringing him confidence and joy.