Foreign Brides' Language Problems

There are few of us who have not had difficulty communicating our thoughts and feelings. The problem often exists where we least expect to  find it: in the best of marriages. Regardless of the shared goals of the partners and the love they have for each other, there is bound to be some discord, some lack of communication. Imagine what it would be like if one of the partners was unfamiliar with the culture and language of the other. Yes, it would be difficult to imagine; such an obstacle to a successful life together would seem almost insurmountable.

International marriages struggling to overcome the language and cultural differences of the partners are not uncommon in Korea, but marriages in which the couples are not able to communicate because the language barrier is too difficult to overcome is a recent and disturbing phenomenon.  When society was simpler and the disparity between the country and city, rich and poor, educated and uneducated was not as pronounced, the problem had easier solutions.  A religious sister, attempting to find current solutions to the problem, works with women who have emigrated to Korea, many of them as foreign brides. Because most of the husbands are struggling financially, most of them, after learning a little Korean, will look for work in the factory area of the diocese. Working in the factories, beginning a family, and doing the household chores leaves the new bride little time to study the language.

Writing in the Bible and Life magazine, the sister stresses how important it is for these women to learn Korean. Without the language, they will not be able to have first-hand knowledge of the culture, or communicate with their husbands, their children, and their neighbors. Many of the most distressing problems they are now experiencing, such as depression and conflicts within the family are caused, she says, from the inability to communicate.

Tien, a young woman from Thailand, a college graduate, is typical, the sister says, of women who come to see her. Married to an earnest, hard-working young man, Tien has been in the country for 10 years.  Around the time of the birth of their third child, she had to admit to herself that living in a foreign country is far from easy. Because she kept putting off the study of Korean, Tien was incapable of helping her children with their schoolwork, and even simple conversations were difficult . But it still was a shock--from which she's never recovered--she told the sister, when she overheard the oldest son ask his father if it was possible to find a Korean woman to marry.

An incident at the children's center prompted Tien to contact the sister. Her youngest child was given medicine for her cold. Tien had asked her teachers to give  the child a spoonful of cough medicine every four hours. When the child came home with the empty medicine bottle, she realized they had given her child too much. She complained but was told there had been a misunderstanding, implying the blame was hers because she had difficulty with the language, while making light of  the whole affair.  She wanted to change to another children's center but her husband gave her no sympathy and made matters worse by siding with the teachers and blaming her for the misunderstanding with the teachers. Tien told sister that because of her difficulty learning the language, she now believes it is beginning to harm the health of her children; she then broke down and  began to cry.

The sister feels that similar incidents will continue to occur until Tien  and the other foreign brides become  proficient in the language.  She hopes they will have the commonsense to avoid them by setting aside enough time to learn the language. How diligent they are in pursuing this goal will determine to a large extent the future happiness of the women and their families.

The Year of Faith: New Evangelization

"When the Son of man comes, will he find faith on earth?" A  strange question abruptly asked by Jesus in the Gospel of Luke (18:8). In today's world the question is no longer as strange as it once was. Pope Benedict brings up the subject of faith in the life of the Church with his Apostolic Letter of Oct. 11, 2011, Porta Fidei (Door of Faith), which proclaimed that a "Year of Faith" would begin on Oct. 11, 2012 and end on Nov. 24, 2013. 

In conjunction with the Pope's announcement, the 13th Synod of Bishops will meet in Rome, Oct. 7, preceding the opening of the Year of Faith, and conclude Oct. 27. About 300 bishops from around the world will discuss the need for a new approach to spreading the faith, guided by the theme: "The New Evangelization for the Transmission of the Christian Faith." During the deliberations, the Year of Faith will be formally proclaimed, commemorating the fiftieth anniversary of the opening of the Second Vatican Council and the twentieth  anniversary of the publication of the "Catechism of the Catholic Church." The Korean Church is responding to the event enthusiastically; hopefully the words and ideas exchanged and debated will not be relegated to our personal archives, and forgotten. The working document for the Bishops Synod has been published by the Vatican and can be accessed by typing Instrumentum Laboris in a search engine.

The president of the Bishops Committee on Evangelization held a press conference recently to provide details on the Year of Faith and the Bishops Synod.  A journalist for the Catholic Times, commenting on the Bishop's press conference, said  the term "New Evangelization" is not well understood by most Catholics. New ramifications have surfaced, broadening the meaning of the term and requiring a change of perspective on how best to spread the Gospel message. How this change will translate to the current situation in Korea is too early to tell, the columnist says.

Successful implementation of the evangelization process, according to Blessed Pope John Paul, will depend on how well we can bring to our work new passion, new methods, and new aspirations of what can be accomplished, and how mindful we are that changing a culture requires a change in the methods used.  The bishop in the press conference speaking from the  heart wonders if the change, first of all, has to begin with  himself. We need to experience God.  What our society needs is not more teachers, but men and women who witness to what they believe. 
 
The need for discussion has been felt for sometime for the countries that have been traditionally the bastions of Catholicism are no longer so, and the hope is to change the present reality.  The effort will have to begin with each one of us  examining  our faith life, face the results, and  begin to evangelize ourselves with a new vocabulary and practices.

The Cry of the Poor and of Nature

In the Scriptures, we hear the cry of the Israelites in Egypt,  the cry of the poor and oppressed. "I have witnessed the affliction of my people in Egypt and have heard their cry of  complaint against their slave drivers, so I know well what they are suffering" (Exodus 3:7). There is also the cry of creation, the ecological cry. " Yes, we  know that all creation groans and is in agony even until now" (Rom. 8:22).

There is a common element in  these two cries: The cry that comes from the failure to fulfill our social and economic obligations and to recognize our solidarity with all humans, and the cry that comes from a lack of harmony between humanity and nature--the despoiling of nature often justified by putting commercial concerns before human concerns. Both cries call out to us because of the same injustice and the same suffering. 

In both injustices, the poor are the ones who suffer. Social injustice brings about ecologic injustice, and ecologic injustice brings about social injustice. As Christians we need to attune our ears to this cry and, like the Old Testament prophets, express our just anger against this injustice, against the exploitation of the poor and oppressed.  Social and ecological justice, closely related, are fighting the same enemy: exploitation of the powerless, in most cases for personal gain.

Our relationship with nature should be a familial relationship that seeks a sustainable development for both partners. If we want to free ourselves from all that enslaves us, writes a professor of scripture, we must start by living in harmony with nature. By working for the liberation of the poor, and by identifying with the poor, we are liberating ourselves.

The professor ends his article by reminding us it's not enough to acknowledge the close relationship of social and ecological justice, we need also more study and discussion of this relationship to help us complement their interconnectedness. As we work toward this goal, not only will our political, economic, and social concerns change for the better, but when we link this change with a heightened appreciation of our ecological responsibilities, and when all four concerns are seen as belonging to one undivided whole, then we will experience the liberation we are all seeking. And the Christian response will naturally follow.

Is sex a sport, a game, a leisure-time activity? According to a recent news article, this is the message now being received by our children--in music videos, at pop concerts, in pervasive media coverage of the personal, primarily sexual, lives of celebrities.

Children most at risk have working parents who are not able to give their children the attention they need. When midterm exams are over and  parents are at work, surfing the web for porn and throwing sex parties in the homes become popular pastimes. The current view of sex of many young people can perhaps be best appreciated, the article points out, by the answer of a young girl when asked what sex means to her. "It's good for the complexion," she said. With this frivolous understanding of sex--not too surprising considering the widespread debasing of sex in our society--it is only natural that our children are eager for their first sexual experience.

While many observers interested in cultural matters have noted this growing irresponsible sexual activity among the young, teachers in many of the youth centers in Korea  have often expressed astonishment at the behavior of young people, primarily because of the coarseness of their language and their shallow, reckless understanding of sex. These same observers single out the music video industry as deserving a big part of the blame.

In one popular music video, a young girl meets a man at a night club and then goes to a motel with him. On the way there, the camera focuses on the girl, who looks directly into the camera with a quizzical look in her eyes, as the video ends. Why is the girl looking directly at the viewers? When adults are asked this question, the writer of the article reports that it take them about 30 minutes to come up with the right answer, high-school students 10 minutes, and grammar school children 1 minute. The correct answer?  "Do what I am doing."

The grammar school children, the writer goes on to say, are so accustomed to seeing porn on the internet the answer was obvious to them. In many cases the actresses will gaze into the  camera repeatedly, in effect inviting the viewer, with its subliminal message: "Do what I am doing. you have no idea how great this is."

Some music videos are so sexually explicit a grammar school student of years past would probably not have been capable of imagining its content, nor would many even have been interested; that is clearly no longer the case.Today's grammar school children have knowledge of areas of life that should not be a part of their education. Sadly, this is the way society is programing our young. Unless society takes steps to address this ominous trend, we are likely to see greater harm inflicted on our children. And what price will society have to pay in the future, we need to ask ourselves, for allowing this rampant permissiveness to continue?
 

Forming Small Christian Communities

Every pastoral worker involved with "'small Christian communities" has a different understanding of this new concept in evangelization, says a priest just days after completing a workshop on the subject. Reflecting on that experience in a recent bulletin for priests, he explains the confusion over the precise nature of these communities as stemming from the words themselves; they tell us little of what these communities do. To fill the gaps in our knowledge, he suggests that we see these communities in the same way as we see normal families. In the beginning, children are completely dependent on the parents. Gradually the children begin to enjoy some freedom, which soon takes them into a position of equality, until, finally, the parents are receiving help from the children.

The priest feels this way of seeing the close relationship of clergy and laity, as it is most clearly experienced in these small communities, is more Gospel-oriented than the pastor and sheep analogy, with clergy prominently in the center. Even calling the priest 'Father,' he says, gives an inkling of what the beginning state of these communities should be.

For our writer, the more he thinks about these communities the more convinced he is of their importance, particularly in the evangelizing process; their contribution in furthering this work, he says, can be enormously valuable. Focusing  his attention on the laity--they make up the greater part of God's people--he points out that lay people are constrained to live the Gospel-life where they are, in whatever role in life they find themselves.  If the pastoral worker sees the laity as a partner, then he will have, the priest says, the right approach to the small communities.

The pastoral work of these communities has to begin from below, with the laity, and be self-starting; if not, the right understanding of the work will not be possible, he says, and the work will suffer. In many parts of South America and Africa, the small Christian community has shown it can be effective, no matter the difficulties faced, when a group of lay people, without the help of clergy, band together to accomplish their pastoral goals.

The priest, mindful that these communities often accomplish their goals without much public attention and respect, recalls that the doctor who generally gets the most attention and respect is the one who saves seriously ill persons from death. But a more wonderful doctor, he goes on to say, is the doctor who prevents the disease in the first place. Although his efforts are not as readily seen as they would be when attempting to cure disease, no one would have to think twice in deciding which doctor's approach is preferable. In the same way, we should become more aware of the troublesome issues now confronting the Church, before they turn into deep seated problems. This task can be ably handled by the small Christian communities, beginning by exposing some of the present problems faced by the Church and by taking steps to keep problems from recurring.

 

Pope Benedict XVl recently talking to the lay people said  the laity should be seen as truly "co-responsible" for the Church, and not just "collaborators" with the clergy. "Co-responsibility requires a change in mentality, particularly with regard to the role of the laity in the Church," the Holy Father said. This is pertinent  to what was said in forming Small Christian Communities.

Wrestling With the Problems in the World

Religion, and spirituality in general, continues to receive the respect of many Koreans, even though most have no religion and despite an increasingly secular lifestyle approaching that of the West.

Surveys over the years have consistently shown that Catholic clergy are very much respected and trusted for what has been described as their "authenticity" and "sincerity." They placed first in this category in surveys taken in 1970 through 2000; after 2000, respect for the  priesthood slid to 11th place overall, perhaps due to the increase in the number of priests. (Firemen came in first, nurses second, environmental workers third. ) However, within the field of religion priests still came in first.

Regarding the respect factor generated by organizations, the Catholic Church placed first, ahead of the Buddhists, and  Protestants.  A monthly bulletin for priests attributes the high rating to the involvement of the Church in past human rights issues.

In one survey that sought to determine the happiness index of workers from a variety of occupations, 100 in all, the priesthood placed 4th. Although the  priesthood is not considered an occupation by the Church, most people see it as a job just like any secular activity that receives remuneration. (Grammar school principals were first)

In 2006, a survey of 143 priests in a Korean diocese revealed that personal relationships among some priests were not ideal. Among fellow priests 37.1 percent were uncomfortable with the relationship, and 27.3 percent of them considered their relationship with the ordinary and bishop uncomfortable. It's the quality of the relationship with the bishop, according to the monthly bulletin, that will determine  to a great extent the spirit of the priest.

Although the Holy Spirit is active in the work of the Church, this does not guarantee that all priests will be in a trusting relationship with their bishop.

It's important to remember that the Church is not a place where clergy and laity are looking for ease and comfort or even looking for respect; nor is it an association of friends. It should be a place, the writer says, where we wrestle with the problems in the world, and work for peace. This is the work given to us as our core ministry by Jesus.

Forming a Healthy Society with the Proper Education

We have often heard that "Success breeds success; failure breeds failure."  Though generally accepted as true, one of the most admired teachers in my seminary years was the first rector who worked with a different standard. Instead of working with a student's strong points, he worked on eliminating his weaknesses.

Four years of Latin was once required before entering the seminary college. Those who lacked this requirement had to take a remedial program in Latin for a year before being accepted for full seminary study. The rector in charge of that preparatory year had devised his own remedial program, assigning tasks that would stimulate us to work on eliminating some of our weaknesses. 

Those who had difficulty getting up in the morning or being on time for class, he would put in charge of seeing that everyone got up in time and were ready for class; they would ring bells to mark the time for rising in the morning, putting lights out at night, and going to class.  Those who had difficulty reading became lectors in the refectory and chapel. Students who lacked confidence would be given work in the dispensary. During recreation you would be assigned to a different sport each day to learn the rudiments of the different sports, and to get a feel for teamwork, whether you were athletically inclined or not. The rector, with his hands-on approach, showed the depth of his interest in each one of us, which motivated us even more to do the best we were capable of.

Another rector of an alternative school in the Andong diocese, recounting in the Peace Weekly the return to school  of his students after summer vacation, explained there was sadness among the teachers because one of the students, Chong Su, did not return.  He had been absent from school before the vacation but made it known that he would return and be a better student. It is believed that his friends, who were either expelled from other schools or hated the regimen of studies and left, convinced him to join their vagabond lifestyle, and he couldn't resist.

In Korea, in 2010, over 30,000 students had been expelled from high school; 10 percent went on to study at an alternative school; the others probably ending up on the street. Most of these middle and high school dropouts are responsible for much of the crime in our society, according to news reports, and the Department of Education shows little interest in these disturbing statistics.

The Andong alternative school, which is connected with the Catholic University, has as its primary objective the preparation of students who can't for one reason or another function in other schools. Programs for hairdressing and cooking, among other practical pursuits, are offered in an ongoing attempt to find the aptitudes of their students so that natural abilities can be nurtured.

The article ends with the rector expressing hope that Chong Su will return to school. The problem, he says--and has been saying for the last six years--is a lack of love. Until this lack is supplied there will not be a change in the dropout rate.  There are no problem children, he says, only children who are not loved. And if we are concerned enough to pay attention to the problem, the dropouts themselves, he assures us, will be sending us the same message. Like the seminary rector, the rector of the alternative school is more interested in the needs of individual students than in a strict adherence to the curriculum or the needs of society. When the demands of society become the central concern of the educational program, the needs of many students are not satisfied.

In the long run, who suffers by this current state of affairs? Society or the individual? If we believe the news reports that school dropouts are responsible for most of the crime in our society, then the answer is clear: both suffer. To pit the needs of one against the needs of the other not only fails to grasp this simple fact, but puts the long-term health of society in jeopardy.