Confucian Civility

The columnist in the Peace Weekly writes about an unnerving event that occurred recently in an elegant hotel. She had invited someone to join her for an evening meal at the hotel dinning room. Everything was proper, the waiters looked and acted appropriately, when suddenly, within this atmosphere of elegance, a woman entered the room leading a child by the hand and dressed in pajamas. The columnist confesses that at some level of consciousness she was concerned about the impression this would make on her dinner guest. The woman who came into the dinning room with her nightclothes was giving, she felt, a distorted image of the Korean culture, though the  possible affect on the persons in the dinning room, apparently was of little concern to the woman. 

Considering the cultural standards of our country, can we be unconcerned, the columnist asks, about the  clothes we are wearing? Should we be unconcerned, for instance, if we see someone riding in an elevator, with a bucket of garbage, dressed in pajamas, or walking in their pajamas in the  corridors, or climbing the stairs, smoking? We have a tendency, she says, to overlook the connection of civility with the clothes we wear.

In Confucianism, the Chinese character 'Ye' 禮 (On the left is the icon for heaven and on the right a container on a table filled with food from the harvest which is being offered to heaven) has many English expressions: social custom, manners, courtesy, rites, propriety, politeness. (I would also add 'civility'.) In Confucian philosophy,  'Ye' refers to an important means of keeping order in society. It is the strength that supports society and guarantees support for our  place in society. Confucius, the columnist says, stressed the importance of 'Ye'  to his son. A person, he said, that does not know 'Ye' will find it difficult to put down roots into his society.  'Ye' is the stepping stone that keeps us rooted firmly in the relationships in which we find ourselves.  It is the way we practice 仁: the character for benevolence. ( A man on the left, two  on the right, the relationship between human beings, in other words, humaneness.) 

She tells us that Confucianism teaches children from an  early age that what is not 'Ye' should not be seen, heard, said or done. She does say that this seems difficult to do but the intent is to bring all our behaviors under the guidance of 'Ye' wherever we may be.

In society a person who only considers himself is not going to be liked. Basic to 'Ye' is to have a concern for others, which also includes, she says, being concerned about how the clothes we wear in public will affect others. The columnist feels that this concern should be a  duty of all adults in society. The clothes we wear are going to determine, she believes, how we will be received by others. She hopes adults    will explain this to the younger generation. 

This kind of talk is not easily understood outside of an Asian culture, for informality is for many a virtue, and in the West we like to show our creativity by not following the customs we have inherited. Civility is another area of life that an Asian would be more sensitive than those in the West, but this is changing; the influence of the West has already done much to change the thinking of many in Korea.

The influence that 'Ye' has had on Catholicism is  easily seen by attending a Mass in a Korean Church. Understanding  'Ye' as etiquette and civility and as an example of the Golden Rule are all part our Christian heritage.  Pope Leo XIII is quoted as saying: "Civility and urbanity in customs strongly predispose minds to attain wisdom and to follow the light of truth."

Searching for Wholeness

A priest takes as his subject, in a recent issue of the Kyeongyang magazine, the healing of the whole person. With extensive experience in counseling, he is now helping those in need at a retreat center. The aim of counseling, he says, is to encourage mental and spiritual healing.

Many advances have been made in the field of psychology, however,  clinical studies have not discovered any one particular method that is more successful than any other. The reason for this difficulty, he believes, is that from the beginning there was a failure in not seeing the troubled person as a whole person. From his perspective, he feels most counselors have left out the spiritual dimension.

The person, he reminds us, is made up of body, mind and spirit. Besides the psychological needs, there are spiritual needs and bodily needs--all of which must be considered. There is a mutual correspondence between the spiritual and the psychological. We need  psychological help to grow in  spiritual self-renunciation and in transcendence.

The first requirement, he says, is to discover who we are as persons. St. Paul tells the Christians "May the God of peace make you perfect in holiness. May he preserve you whole and entire: spirit , soul and body, irreproachable at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Thess. 5:23). Customarily, we are content to split a person into a soul and body dichotomy. What we see is the body, the external dimension, and what we don't see is the internal dimension, the soul. In a way, this view is correct, he says, but it is not what we learn from revelation: What makes us who we are and forms our personality are the body and the  mental faculties, our feelings, thoughts, judgments, reasoning, and will. The spiritual dimension allows us to know God, to become intimate with him, and to have life in him.

The maturity of a human being relies on the development of the whole person. "Grace builds on nature" is a maxim that comes down to us from the  Scholastic period. God meets us according to where we are in our present mental and spiritual maturity, meaning our natural and psychological  dimensions. The Holy Spirit works in harmony with our human development, whatever that development might be, in giving us his graces. This does not rule out a person having a distorted type of spirituality: cliquish and divisive, or with a fundamentalist and fanatical attitude, which are signs of immaturity.

A person with a mature Christian spirituality discovers in God who they are, and through the self discovers God. In the Scriptures we are told what a mature spirituality is "...till we become one in faith and, in the knowledge of God's Son, form that  perfect man who is Christ come in full stature" (Eph. 4:13).

 

Truth is achieved through body, mind and spirit. A Christian does not separate these three. We work to unite the three in a harmonious whole. However, growth in one area does not mean we will necessarily have growth in the other. We will never be satisfied in our spiritual growth.

How does God draw us to him? And how does he love us? are questions we will continue to ask ourselves. But when we realize that God is always working with his Spirit in our lives, we will have an integral  appreciation  of our reality. We then will have the right holistic relationship with our psychological make up, with our work, with others, with our material existence, and with all of existence. Spirituality includes all of this, and not only during our time in prayer, worship and religious exercises.  God works in all that we do.
  

Steps Towards Christian Unity

 

Christians, making up about one-third of the population in Korea, are the largest religious group in the country, though including many varieties of beliefs. The editorial in the Catholic Times mentions that the efforts to overcome these divisions have been far from satisfactory. One of the biggest obstacles  is the competition to gain more adherents.

Christianity has grown and continues to grow, but instead of experiencing unity and cooperation among the various Christian faiths, more attention is given to increasing numbers, stressing the differences and considering other Christians as belonging to another religion, further separating Christian from Christian.

The aim of Christianity is to be of service to the world but the archbishop of Gwangiu, the president of the Episcopal Commission for Inter-religious Dialogue, mentioned in his sermon at the prayer meeting of 11 religious groups: "We are more interested in increasing the numbers of our congregations, which we are able to see, than making the God we can't see known. We need to ponder if we are not intent in getting glory for ourselves."
 
The divisions among the Christians is not only a problem in evangelization but also very much contrary to the essence of Christianity.  When we are not able to treat each other as brothers and sisters, we can't expect to speak convincingly to the larger society about the need for harmony and cooperation.

During the Unity Octave, 11 religious groups did get together to talk about the   problems that prevent closer cooperation among the various groups. It was agreed that discussions in the future on achieving unity would be more theologically based than they have been in the past. And there was also agreement that not only should there be concern for all the religious groups in the country but there should be concern as well for the society at large, so that we all can work together toward the common good. This would be a sign to all of how earnest the Church is in its service to society.

The Apostolic Delegate, in his remarks to the group, said "We need to respect the gifts that God has given to others and, while remaining close to our beliefs and our mission, prayerfully search for the unity that Christ wants us to achieve."
 
The is the first time the religious groups have come together to prepare prayers and a common paper for the Unity Octave, a good omen that the work for unity will continue in the future. What is desired is difficult, but the intention expressed by all of working toward the goal, stressing the need for cooperation, should give us hope for the future.

Education in Search of Wisdom

During a college lecture a professor mentioned that over 10 percent of the students in his class habitually nod off to sleep. High school teachers, with words of condolence, said this should  not cause excessive grief,for in their classes only 10 percent  are listening. It is easy to see those who have given up on their classes: they are the ones with their head down on the desk, preferring to do academy work, or to read a book.

After exams many of the classes are no longer devoted to study but to watching videos or some other pastime. A professor working in the research center of the Catholic University writes, in the Kyeongyang magazine, about the difficulties in educating our students in today's world. Teachers are not to be  blamed, she says, and then she goes on to discuss some of the reasons why this is so. 

Most school curricula are devoted to following the standards set by the government.  Only about 10 percent of school time is spent in creative activities. There has been a change, she says, in recent years but still the amount of study is still small. She believes the education is geared to give them capabilities that will be helpful for the future but she would like more time spent on studies that answer the needs of the students, such as: What do they like...What do they want to study...What are their goals in life...Who am I? Time now spent in these pursuits, she says, is not sufficient.

In elementary school, when students are asked to pick a crayon to color with, you usually find most students looking at the students next to them to see what they have selected. When asked to write about what they want to do in the future, they will usually ask their father for help in deciding. Students mostly don't know what they like and what they are good at. This is not an easy matter to settle, she admits, and even at this stage in her life she says it may take a life time to find out. But efforts have to be made, she insists, to allow students the time to reflect on these important personal matters. 
 
She feels that knowing oneself is necessary if we are going to love who we are. Asking ourselves questions will help in the process: What are my strong points and their limits? Why am I happy or angry or don't like to study? Why do I dislike it when the teacher talks to my friend? and similar questions. This kind of teaching is available, she admits, but it is taking time away from the regular schedule; even the parents do not understand the need for this.

Parents are willing to do everything for the happiness of their children. And yet they do not ask their children what will make them happy. Isn't this the reason our children and young people, when judged by the index of subjective happiness, are ranked so low compared to other countries? 

She quotes a saying she once saw and liked: "Happiness comes when we get rid of the reasons for our unhappiness, and then, though indirectly, we will attain the fruits of happiness. This will require looking at ourselves honestly and not deviating from the desire to attain our goal." She  herself does not have the happiness and peace she wants, she says. That is why she likes the quote's motivating message, and why she wants her students to have time to reflect on who they are.

The words from Wisdom 6:12 gives her courage: "Resplendent and unfading is Wisdom, and she is readily perceived by those who love her, and found by those who seek her.  She hastens to make herself known in anticipation of our desires; whoever watches for her at dawn shall not be disappointed, for he shall find her sitting by his gate."

Contemplation's Place in Prayer

It is said that "we pray as we live and we live as we pray." Vocal prayer uses words, meditative prayer thought, and contemplative prayer, love. A seminary professor of spirituality, writing in the Kyeongyang magazine, discusses how contemplative prayer is to be understood by Catholics. It is particularly important today, he believes, that we call on our traditional prayer resources to ask for divine assistance in dealing with living in the most unchristian of times.

Often prayer is not the means of knowing, loving and being more like God but rather as a means to be more successful in our lives. This is, he says, the reason we have to examine carefully our faith life and prayer.

Contemplation comes from the Latin verb 'contemplari,' meaning to discover the will of God and use all our energies in gazing and beholding him. As a Christian, through intuition, we first become aware of  God's presence and then gaze upon him with love. It is not a simple gazing, he says, but one that calls forth admiration and a joy that clasps our souls, followed by knowledge. Contemplation is the love-filled gaze of God and the things of God that absorb our attention. The Catholic Catechism (# 2724) describes it as "...the simple expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gaze of faith fixed on Jesus, an attentiveness to the Word of God, a silent love."

There are many varieties of contemplative prayer, but the writer focuses on two: acquired and infused contemplation. As the words imply, the former develops from our efforts, and the latter is given to us as a gift from God.

With contemplation, our life becomes more passive, but not completely, for with the prayer we become more personally intimate with God; we strive to accommodate ourselves more to the way God is calling us to himself by practicing the virtues, by imitating the life that Jesus has shown us.

With our ordinary meditative practices, often called mental prayer, we tend to see little improvement but with the graces of contemplation, we grow closer to Jesus. There are those who see prayer as psychological, others who search for a mental and emotional state of emptiness from which to prayer, but what is forgotten is that prayer comes with the help of the Holy Spirit and not only with our efforts. We are to get rid of our individual egoism, which is a great obstacle in getting closer to God.

"The love of God, the sole object of Christian contemplation, is a reality which cannot be mastered by any method or technique. On the contrary, we must always have our sights fixed on Jesus Christ, who went to the cross for us and there assumed even the condition of estrangement from the Father." --Letter to the Bishops on Meditation  #31.

By our practice of contemplation, we are more closely united to God and our understanding of ourselves; the world is more understandable and clearer, and we are better able to know our roles in society. This is to be discovered not only in the time of prayer but during every day of our lives.

Humble Enough To Be Corrected

The columnist in View from the Ark recalls the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. in Memphis Tennessee in 1968 and the riots and violence that followed. Jane Elliott a third grade elementary school teacher embarrassed and angered, devised a very simple experiment with her students which the columnist briefly describes. Her experiment is written up in the book Blue and Brown Eyes.
 
Jane, told the students that they would be two groups in the class. The  blue eyed students would wrap a cloth collar around the brown eyed students. They would be treated as inferior and the blue eyed be given privileges. It was an exercise to understand how you feel when you are the object of discrimination. The next day it was the brown eyed students that would be the superiors and the blue eyed the inferior ones, and given the treatment the blacks received.

It was only done for two days but the children quickly  grasped and internalized what was to be done and even though artificially manipulated  those  discriminating felt  joy and those who received the discrimination felt great anguish and pain.
 
The columnist is using an article that was written on this issue of  discrimination in one of the daily papers. This kind of experiment is very dangerous admits the columnist for the chances  of being hurt seriously is not missing. And Jane Elliott also admitted that  it would be nice to have another way of bringing about the same kind of  learning.
 
In this experiment  those who participated and those who viewed it all were moved deeply. Words, no matter how well chosen do not  have the same effect as when you bodily experience  discriminating and being  discriminated. The  artificiality with the  experiment was not accepted well by the  adults when they were asked to participate in the exercise. After a couple hours the exercise  was discontinued. Once seeing the injustice they don't want to participate.
 
Bias more than a  reason for prejudice, is  often the results. Bias narrows our vision of the world  and makes it smaller, but prejudice  cripples the other which makes it much more harmful. The columnist said after reading the book Blue and Brown Eyes she compared it with the society in which she lives. Even the artificial exercise was considered dangerous by some, how about the the gap between the rich and the poor, status  in society, religion, political positions, personalities, appearances and the like. Don't we see how the bias and prejudice that we come in contact daily is affecting many in society?

Any arbitrary differences on which we base our
prejudice,  for the most part, is not reasonable or has any foundation. Race, color of skin, religion, we know where to stand. However, a little difference in opinion  and  right away we ticket the person as a follower of the North. Isn't this a sign of prejudice? Important for us is to give heed to the words of others who make known the prejudice that this shows, and become aware  of it. We have to revisit the Golden Rule and make it a living part of our life.

Living At A Slower Pace

"Let us live each day twice" was the headline of a recent article in the Kyeongyang magazine in which a university professor mentions  the way many of the Indian Tribes in the Americas considered the month of February.  She reflects on the Mohawk  people's understanding of the month as the 'slow moving month.' She first understood it to mean a month of hunger and cold, before seeing it in a more personally moving way, as a reminder to live each day more slowly and with more awareness. 

Citing the French philosopher Pierre Sansot (1928-2005) and his book The Meaning of Slow Living, she lists lists some of his proposals to start living a slower life: Go for a leisurely stroll, listen to people very intently, do everything with your whole heart, become attentive to your dreams, wait for opportunities and do  your best to make the most of them, spend some time writing, and occasionally enjoy a glass of wine--all to be done without a sense of business.

Koreans, she says, are known to be always busy. This is not a good trait, according to Sansot. To be pressed by time is to lose your freedom; we are to live in harmony with time and this is done by living slowly. Pascal said "Men have only one problem: They don't know how to rest in a quiet room."  A society that expects only efficiency and productivity is not conducive to this slow life that is being recommended. 

She mentions the hero of the fantasy movie About Time, who is told by his father that they have the capability of going back into time if they think long enough about it. Although relishing this way of life for awhile, he realizes that instead of going back into the past to fix problems it is better to live completely and fully in the present, and also to make the most of each moment we have been given, for it is then that we find in surprising and new ways the hidden happiness, fruitfulness and mystery of our personal relationships.

Thomas a Kempis in his Imitation of Christ writes "Now is the time to be up and doing, now is the day of battle, now is the time to change my life." And the professor adds, if we don't succeed today we have tomorrow to complete the work. Today we work, we walk, we dream, we wait. And when tomorrow comes, we have another chance to give ourselves to another new day by again giving ourselves carefully and completely to the work before us.

Every 24 hours we need to be awake to this new birth we have received and to begin it with a new awareness to live it well. Tomorrow's day and the next day, when they come, are always today's day, always new and always ready to give us great joy. With the birth of each new day, slowly, in orderly fashion, we also are born again.

Below is a paragraph from the book The Meaning of Slow Living:

More than anything else what elates me the most is the birth of a new day. At the birth of a new day I am filled with vitality. For 24 hours I am conscious that in every moment I can express who I am. To my eyes the birth of a new day comes to me with more emotion than the birth of a new infant.Tomorrow, another day will be born. Tomorrow again, I will be looking forward to the  future.