"With Communication No Pain"

Heo Jun a physician to the royal court during the Choson Dynasty, in his book Dongui Bogam, we find the phrase: "With communication no pain, without communication pain." A  professor of philosophy in his article in the diocesan bulletin explains to the readers the meaning of the words. All the veins in our body are made to communicate with the cells and organs.  When one of the blood vessels is blocked, and is not able to communicate with the body, we have sickness or death of the cells or organs. This extends also to the social body, without healthy communication between human beings  we have problems: in family, school, society, and  the country; the difference is only in size. Communication is a sign of the health of our different groups in society.

The dictionary meaning for the word communicate:  not blocked, opened to another, understanding another. He compares it to water that flows freely.  It  is the connection with others. Not only is it  words shared with another, but the extended meaning is the relation we have with the other.

He shared his thinking on the theological and human levels of communicating. Humans are persons who are separated. In our Scriptural theological understanding, humans were living with God in paradise and because of disobedience lost paradise. Since they were separated from God, they needed a way of relating with God different from what it was in paradise. They were separated from their source  and speaking in theological words needed to be saved. Separated existences try to achieve the original relationship with God. This relationship is not something that we can do on our own. Since the communication has broken down we can't but be uncomfortable. This in theological language is called anxiety of separation, and we try everything to renew our relationship with God the source of all.

Humans are separated existences. We were one with our mothers in the womb. We came out of the womb attached with the umbilical cord. When that is cut, we become separated existences. With this separation, we are overcome with  separation anxiety. Because of the separation, the  mother with the constant interaction with the child, the separation anxiety disappears. The child feels the connection with the mother and when this is confirmed life is renewed. From birth to age three, this integration with the mother has to be  strengthened and  confirmed. This  attachment to the mother has to be established. When during this period, the attachment of the mother to the child is not communicated, there will be the trauma from anxiety because of separation that will affect all of life.

As seen from the above, persons are separated individuals both from a human and a theological point of view.  If we were complete in ourselves, we would not need others with whom to relate or a need to communicate. Because we are separated existences, we have a need to relate and to communicate with others.  We need other separated persons to live the full life;  and we  cannot do this without conflict and discord. We need to familiarize ourselves  with this method of living:the art of relating and communicating with others. To summarize ultimately a full life requires:  understanding,  meeting, relationships, co-existence  and survival.

"Grief Will be Turned to Joy"

Current predictions by the World Health Organization foresee that by 2030, melancholia will be the leading cause of illness. Korea presently is a leader in the number of cases of melancholia, so  begins the article by a Salesian priest writing in the Bible and Life magazine. Widespread is a structure of excessive competition, materialism, inhumanity, the sudden appearance of the nuclear family, making us islands, and disposing us to feelings of depression. Melancholia  has many forms, he says, the young person's depression, those taking exams, after giving birth, buying on credit, seasonal depression, after success...  nobody is far from depression.

The Sewol ferry tragedy has exposed us to  these feelings. The families of  the dead, those who survived, those who witnessed the tragedy, the citizens have experienced great sadness.  The families of the victims have lost an important meaning for life. We have to cry with these families.

In Scripture, we have prominent examples of those who suffered from this malady: David, Jonah, Elijah. David in psalm 31:10 cries: Have pity on me, O Lord, for I am in distress; with sorrow, my eye is consumed; my soul also, and my body."

The priest mentions as a youth having to fight against sickness for a number of years. During this period, he suffered from depression. In the morning when he opened his eyes it was not how he was to live happily that day, but was he going to make it through the day. Everything seemed insignificant, meaning for life disappeared and all he wanted to do was to avoid  the gaze of others. It was, he said,  a frightful experience.

In the beginning, melancholia is like a cold of the spirit and can be handled by the person's efforts. With exercise, walks, mountain climbing, emptying ourselves and the like does work. When it gets too much for us, we can go to the specialists for help.  Christians have a primary physician in Jesus, and he will free us from our depression. There is nothing like a positive and active life of faith as a treatment for depression.

The reason for melancholia he suggests is despair. A loss of hope and the despair comes from too much of a trust in oneself and others. We are all disposed to despair. As Christians, we can always get up with the help of Jesus.We are not  discouraged or frustrated, and we don't want the melancholia to increase so we get up and continue to hope.

He gives us the example of a prisoner of war in a concentration camp. Never sure if there would be another day. One of the prisoners died of sorrow, and he decided to do something. In the same cell were citizens of other nations who spoke different languages, and he suggested they learn each other's language.The cell block from a place of great boredom became a high-class language school.  He learned during the two years that remained: English, Spanish,  Portuguese and Polish enabling him to converse in these different languages with a certain amount of ease. After he was released, he began his own Trade Company and did well.

For a Christian, difficulties are only the  prelude to happiness, Even at times when we do not see any meaning to life God is there and when we realize this, all becomes possible.The priest  finished the article  with the passage from  John 16:20:   "I tell you truly: you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices; you will grieve for a time, but  your grief  will be turned to joy."

Challenges to Christian Family Life

Korea in 1975, 88.2 percent of the families had a man as the householder; the hierarchical order had the father as the center of the family. The Desk Columnist of the Catholic Time tells us that in her own family, the father was 'heaven' and the mother was his helper. This was the  accepted understanding of family.  When the father was the oldest son of the family, he was responsible for the care of the parents and would live with them. 

After 40 years what is the situation of Korea today? According to the office of statistics, one of four families  has a woman as the householder, about 27.9 percent of the families. Families composed of husband and wife, almost half are both working full time. One can't but see the noticeable difference from the past. Postmodernism has brought in a value system and understanding which have influenced the family life.

The Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs reports that half of the citizens don't have any big  problems with the culture of young people living together without marriage. A survey of 1000 men and women between the ages of 20 and 56, a total of 46.1 percent approved of the living together without marriage. Those in their 20s,  53.1 percent  and those in their 30s, 59.2 percent saw it positively. 35.5 percent said marriage was fine, and they had no problem with those  who did not want to marry,  a matter of choice. Those that said marriage was necessary was only 25.6 percent. 67.7 percent opposed the thinking that the  relationship with the children was more important than the husband and wife relationship.

Professionals in the field see a decease in the size of families,  simplification,  and the increase of those living alone. These are challenges to the Church's pastoral care of families.

One of the dioceses in a recent marriage seminar reported that over 2270  who had taken the pre-nuptial  programs, 8.5 percent were pregnant and 8.9 percent were living together. 90.2 percent had been sexually intimate. The report said there was little difference in those who were Catholic and others.

Oct. 5th to the 19th  Pope Francis has called  for  the III Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops to treat the topic: The Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelization. "The Church, fully aware that family life is not ultimately defined by difficulties and that people do not have problems only, willingly recognizes the efforts being made, primarily by young people, to bring about a new springtime for the family."

The preparatory instructions  published, deal with cohabitation, divorce, unmarried mothers, homosexual unions,  and the like. Pastoral challenges that families will be facing will be the area of concern for the Synod. The signs of the times and the challenges that the families are experiencing will be the areas of discussion.

She, in conclusion, quotes a moral theologian: "Today with the  societal trend  and value system  that has a  wrong understanding of  sex, marriage and family the  Christian has the task by living according to the teachings of the Church and at the same time carrying the cross  to renew the world." This mission of establishing Christian like families is the work entrusted to Christians.

Unification of the Korean Peninsula

During the last 20 years, a columnist in the Catholic Times who writes on North Korean issues, a researcher on the subject, introduces us to the two questions that are most frequent. "When will we have unification? This was the number-one question regardless of age, gender or position in society.

When he receives this question he returns: When do you want unification? It is not something that will just happen. Division is something we lived with, for a change we have to be the subjects and  need to work for change. Unification will be a product of our work, bringing great changes to  Korea.

The second question is: What will be greater the cost or the benefits of unification? This is also a foolish question. Expenses are for a limited time, and  the benefits of unification will go on for ages.

Don't these two questions show that we have become accustomed to the division of the country and evidence that we have little feeling for unification? With the improvement of our financial situation,  we are more interested in what happens on the New York Stock Exchange than unification and more sensitive to what happens in the money markets of the world, then the nuclear testing in North Korea. The passage of time, he laments, has made us forget that we are one country.

We forget that because of the division of the country, there are numerous  abnormalities in our daily lives. Two million  of our young people are facing each other daily with the muzzles of their guns. Korea is a peninsular but the only way we can leave the country is by boat or airplane. Our products by boat have to go a long way around to go to Europe or South Africa. With the united country, we could move our goods by train and truck. At present, there  is no easy way for us to go to Europe.

Life in the North continues under three generations of totalitarian rulers. Hunger and crises are common. Living with a loss of human rights and in a security state, makes their life one of fatigue: the product of our division. The trust on armaments continues the totalitarian hold on the North Koreans by the government.

Becoming one country is not  a choice but a duty that we have to  undertake. Many of the tragedies on the military zone separating the North and South have been the results of our division.Our young people again should be able to take a train to Paektu mountain, go to Mongolia and the plains of Siberia, by means of the  peninsula to which we belong. What is necessary on our part, concludes the columnist, is the will and effort. We are not passive spectators but need to be  active participants working for unification.