Growing Old Gracefully

We are all growing old: is there a way of doing this gracefully? In a bulletin for priests a Maryknoll priest writes about a one day seminar that the Maryknoll Fathers had in Korea at the end of last year-- conducted by Brother Wayne Fitzpatrick who is in charge of the Office of Life Long Formation for the Society.

Happiness for ourselves, and those we live with, depends a great deal on how we grow old. This is, no doubt, the thinking of the Society for preparing the one day seminar. We were given some articles to read; we heard a number of talks, Brother, asked some questions of the group and we discussed some  areas that he had covered in his talks.

One of the papers mentioned Carl Jung who said that in retirement the most important element is our spiritual outlook on life.  We  may be led to think that our strong points when young will be a great help in our retirement years, but Jung did not think this was the case. What was true when young is not necessarily so when old.

Many things change with time. We also have to change. We need to get  rid of harmful fixed ideas, and open ourselves to new ways of thinking. When we look back on our lives we recall many things we have learned, and because of them have become wiser. We know from experience that to die to ourselves is to begin living--Paschal Mystery. 

We should begin preparing for retirement when young. Without plans we will not know what to do and be confused when the time arrives. We should be able to go on doing what we want depending on the  condition of our health. 

There are those that after retirement adapt well to their new life but there are also those that do not.  Our health will have a lot to do with the way we enter retirement; old age and our bodily infirmities will have a big influence on our life, but our faith life is always there to give us strength. 

Being, is important, our natural disposition is more important than our external actions for with the right internal disposition the right actions will follow. Brother stressed the positive outlook on life, and listed 9 points that he wanted us to consider: attitude, love, friendships, keep on dreaming, forgive,  give ourselves to others, faith- gratitude for the gift of life, continue to discover the meaning of life, and achieving a balance in life.

We need leisure in life. Our spirit should not get old. We should learn to rest while working. "Pause a while and know that I am God...." Besides the activity in life we need to acknowledge  the receptivity in life. There is the possibility that we will be  faced with a time when we can only receive, and without  preparation in life this will be difficult. There has to be a balance between the active and the receptive which is a form of the contemplative life. 

This is not something that will come naturally but we have to prepare for it. Growing old gracefully is both a science and an art.                                 

Learning More than Was Expected

In September of 2012 an English Language Teacher in Elementary School decided to listen to her inner voice, gave up her secure teaching job, and went to Russia to study. She writes about her experience in the recent issue of the Korean Catholic Digest. 

She is 26 years old, and because of her long held  dream, and firm resolution, left teaching to return to being a student in Russia. From the first night in Russia, one by one, her strong aspirations began to disappear. When she saw her sleeping quarters she was transported back to the 70s, a great shock to her.

The place was filled with dust and cobwebs, filled with a horrible stench, a common toilet without lights, a ceiling that was leaking water, and a corridor that was filled with mold. Yuck! was the feeling that naturally followed from seeing her situation.  

Her roommate was Chinese who liked to listen to music to early in the morning with little understanding of what common living meant.

She began studying the Russian language, doing her home work, cooking her meals and cleaning up afterwards, and little by little adapting to her new environment.

In reality, her biggest difficulty was the discrimination she felt for being Asian. When she walked the streets the children would confront her; laughing they would be abusing her with words she couldn't understand, which made it all the worse. In the post office she would have persons push themselves in line ahead of her, which would fill her with pent up anger. Her personality was one that would ordinarily give 'tic for tac' but since she didn't understand or speak Russian she was more than upset.

What wealth and honors was she going to enjoy that would deserve this kind of treatment? She was an only daughter, and had a job that gave her prestige in her society; never before did she experience this kind of abuse... why did she ever come to Russia? She returned to her room and felt completely helpless, and began counting the days to return to Korea.

At that time Jesus came into her thoughts. Usually when she felt upset she would go to church. The thoughts about Jesus suddenly coming to mind was strange. She recalled how Jesus came to us and suffered all the discrimination and abuse for love of us, it was the first time, she ever thought about the virtue of humility.

Up until that time, she thought that she was a humble person, but realized she was full of pride. She wanted others to appreciate who she was. She was concerned on how she was coming across to others, and wasn't able to detach herself from the way others saw her. She knew that real humility was not concerned with this. The study of the language was not coming easy, she was struggling alone, but she came to the realization that more then learning Russian she learned something more important.

Why did she come to Russia?  More than regrets she is now thankful for her experience; a lesson that will remain with her for the rest of her life. She hopes  she will be open to imitating Jesus more closely and following his will.

Revamping Sunday School Programs

In the Peace Weekly, Diagnosis of Current Affairs, the columnist explains why he is working with human rights issues. He loves the work, and he attributes this love to the time he spent in Sunday School as a child. He thanks his parents for the gift they gave him, and considers it fortunate that those years gave him a world view, and a way of thinking which he was able to develop.

No one is born with a way of thinking or a world view, but it comes with education. In his public schooling he was exposed to the historical mission of national renaissance. He feels that he was repeatedly trained to see his mission as one with the nation: the nations development was his development. The existence of the nation was to determine his own existence. It was a military style training; the object was grades with little time for leisure.

Sunday school was different. No teacher tried to control the students; they were devoted to the teaching, which was also more polished. Even though poverty was everywhere they had slides, movies and other visual aids to help in the education. They had  camp and retreats that would require lodging and meals away from home. School support fees were only a few hundred won, and if you did not pay, the parish would take care of it, and they did not make you feel like a thief, as was the case, often, in the public schools. They were teaching other values that were missing in the public schools: love for others and what was  necessary in living the virtuous life. They were teaching what a thinking life should be.

Today the Sunday School Programs are dying. The churches are filled with old people. The children, and especially the young people are not interested, and this has been true for some time. What is the reason? Is it the pressure of college entrance and the after- school academies? Is it the ever present smart phones, and the tepid religious life of the parents? All are reasons,but the columnist feels the biggest problem is the lack of concern on the part of the parishes-- not like it was in the past.

The teachers are young, few, and are changed often.  Young priests do not have the experience, and after a few years leave. Teachers do not have confidence that what they are doing will have any concrete results. This has  brought about the decline in the  programs. Most of the parishes devout less than 5 percent of the budget to the school program. 

He concludes his column with a desire to make the programs even compete with the schools and academies. He feels there are many in the parishes  with the qualifications to teach. He wants the parishes to look for teachers among the older parishioners, school teachers, college professors and to  arrange for special lectures. Place placards on the streets inviting  those who are not members of the parish to come to the programs. He wants the parishes to give the religious education of the young high priority, for without these programs the future of the Church is bleak. 

Mastering our Emotions

On the spiritual page of the Catholic Times the columnist gives us a humorous story with a worthwhile message. One of the members in his religious community had a commitment in the city and arrived at his destination 40 minutes early, and  wondered what to do. He  saw an invitation to give blood nearby, and felt that would be a good  place to be of service and await his appointment.

He entered the building and after signing in, was  told to go to a cot and lie down and wait for the nurse. While lying down, he  began to open and close his fist  to enable the blood to flow quickly so as to quicken the process.

When the nurse arrived at the cot she excitedly said: "wow that is real good looking." Hearing those words the priest was embarrassed and laughing:  "I am not  so bad looking, you say, I have heard that often, ha, ha, ha!"  The nurse not knowing what to say: "I am not talking about your face, but the vein, which is very distinct and easy to see!" 

His faced flushed, embarrassed, he figured everybody was laughing at him. The nurse began drawing the blood and left.  He had only one thought, and that was to get out of there as soon as possible. He  continued to clench and open his fist to hasten the process.  

After doing this for a short period of time he heard a 'pi-pi' and the nurse came rushing to his cot and was surprised to see how quick the blood was drawn. She took the needle out, and replaced it with a sterilized  cotton pad.  She told him that he was not to leave, to drink some water, and rest for awhile. He was still overcome with the embarrassment he felt when he began giving the blood.

"I have a important meeting and will need to leave." The priest stubbornly did as he said, got up from the cot, put on his shoes and left. As soon as he opened the door and breathed in some fresh air, with a sigh of relief, he fainted. He doesn't know how long he was unconscious but he ended up on the cot in which he gave blood and the nurse, a doctor, and all those  who were waiting to give blood where gazing at him. It was the first time in his life that he wanted to die. 

Whenever he hears the word blood donation all these thought come back to him. The columnist concludes that after giving blood we need to follow instructions, but a bigger moral, and a more important lesson, would be to welcome the embarrassments in life, they are opportunities in mastering our emotions, which often enslave us, and cause much harm to ourselves and others.                                  

Economic Obstacles to Marriage

Marriage, having children, is no longer something we can take for granted or expect of the young. We hear often that one of the reasons for the low birthrate in Korea is deferring marriage to late in life. An article in the Catholic Times reminds the readers what the young people have to face when they contemplate  marriage.

Many do not have regular jobs which means that the salaries are low and envisioning marriage is not something they can easily do. Many have to pay back the debt for their schooling, and the prospects of requiring another big debt for marriage is demoralizing. Birth of a child and the schooling that is necessary goes into the 100,000s of dollars.

The article mentions a poster which explains to the older generation: we can't judge the young people as thoughtless and selfish; society does not make raising a family easy. The family is the basic community in society and when this is destroyed society ceases to exist. In Catholic social teaching the family does not exist for society or the nation, but the nation and society exist for the family.

This is the principle of subsidiarity. Pope Francis continues to speak of the failure of the economic system that puts money ahead of the human person. We are destroying the family and making persons serve the system.

As Christians we know that God has made men and women to join together as husband and wife, to raise a family. Today, however, society which we have made does not  promote the raising of a family. The structures of society make the raising a family, according to Christian principles, difficult. The structures of society also make young people unsympathetic to the teachings of the Church on sexual morality.

Structures of society are in opposition to the commands of God and are harmful to humans. What  God wants from us, has in Jesus been given to the Church. This has become our mission. We have to help our young people find a way to join together in marriage and raise a family.This requires a change in the structures of society.
  

World Day of the Sick

Today is the World Day of the Sick, the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. We are reminded to pray for all the sick and to thank and honor all those who work in health care and serve as caregivers. The day was established by Pope John Paul II in 1992.

Well being, and healing are two English words we see often, and society continues to present us with the ideal of health and wealth. Religion is a means for some believers to search for these values  but these values are not the ones Jesus gave to his Church. Jesus possessed none of the values that humans think are important:  wealth, honor, long life and at one time children. However, sickness brings  to human life much distress and suffering, and we rightly do all we can to do away with, lessen and prevent suffering.

The Peace Weekly editorial uses the words from Job 29:15, which Pope Francis titled his message, to bring the attention of the readers to this 23rd World Day of the Sick: 'I was eyes to the blind, and feet to the lame" and  recommends to us the 'wisdom of the heart'.

Many are those who see suffering as the reason to close themselves off from God. How could an all good, all knowing and all powerful God allow the suffering that we see in the world? He can't possibly exist and even if he did, they could not accept him. Job had problems with his God especially when his friends wanted him to acknowledge his own fault for his suffering which he was not able to do. We do not know the mind of God and for a Christian we know he  does not cause the suffering we have to endure, but allows it to happen for reasons our mind is not able to grasp.

The editorial reminds us that we as Christians have always seen suffering as a way of participating in the sufferings of Christ. When the sufferings are the kind that we can't avoid and must accept, it becomes a short cut to get nearer to Jesus.

Our faith does not make it any easier to understand suffering with our heads but it does give us the help to embrace it when we are faced with it. This requires  grace and personal experience. The editorial wants us to act in the way Job and the Samaritan did in loving and giving comfort to those who face suffering, and are in difficult circumstances. To do this we need to develop the wisdom of the heart.

Paper Books and Electronic Books

There are times at Mass where parishioners will take out their smartphones for the lyrics of a hymn,  or the readings for the Mass. Young priests will take their smartphones to the pulpit to help them deliver the sermon. In her column in the Catholic Times a religious sister distinguishes between the paper books and electronic books, and  comes to some interesting conclusions.

She admits when traveling she uses the smartphone for prayers, but after finishing wonders whether she did pray. She feels she has done her duty, and yet she doesn't feel it was a prayer. Was it  because of the distracted environment? No, for when she has complete quiet and alone she has the same feeling. Isn't it the fragrance from the weight of the  book of the Divine Office? In any event she feels that something is missing: whether it was habit, bias or whatever, there is something that she was not able to fill with the use of the electronic book.

With the liturgy, concentration is important. We try to get rid of distractions and focus all our attention on the  words we are reading and let them resonate deep within us, and  allow our faith to confess them. There is not a search for knowledge but meaning in our faith life, and to purify our hearts and spirit. Is the smart phone a hindrance in reading deeply the words in front of us?

The script in a written book and the script in a smartphone is the same all that is different is the container. The medium is different. McLuhan, the media scholar, has left us the famous words: The  medium is the message. The medium is already the message and influences our thinking and in the way we live. Walter Ong the English Literature scholar said the form of the medium contains the substance and  at the same time becomes the contents.

The words we use contained in the smartphone  is the  same container used for music, videos, SNS and  for innumerable amount of information. The use of the smartphone over the years has aroused in us many conscious and unconscious feelings that weaken our ability to concentrate  on what we are doing.

She mentions the studies that  have shown that there is a difference in the results of reading from a book and reading from a smartphone. To day there is an excessive dependence on smartphones. When we want to pray and click on the smartphone how does the brain react? She hopes that we will not abandon the use of paper books, for she sees the loss of our ability to concentrate and to maintain a peaceful interior due in some degree to our use of the smartphones.