In many of our TV dramas, unwed mothers are often portrayed, no longer a hushed-up social situation. We even have those in their teens, little moms: they show the women not accepted in society. Rare is what we consider the career woman who chooses to have a baby.
Many
have difficulty with poverty, overcome their mother's love, find
the right man and happiness. Often unmarried mothers are the scapegoat
and the place of immorality, which excites and increases the number of
viewers. Some dramas give a good portrayal of the
thinking of unwed mothers and the way society looks upon them.
An unwed mother who is fired by a company will have little help from the law which maintains that children are born after marriage, and this order needs not be broken. Mothers are often left the task to raise the child.
Hesitatingly she speaks: "I am pregnant."
"Let's go to the hospital. What will it cost? It's my child, right?" These are the words the man often blurts out.
With difficulty, an unplanned pregnancy is overcome without an abortion, and a choice to raise the child is made. After this choice, however, there are other problems that have to be faced. How is she going to live, raise her child and do the household chores?
The chaotic moral situation in society, difficulty to find work, bias of society for the women and not for the man, is a great obstacle.
Women's biggest problem is the irresponsible behavior of the man. If they want to keep the child, they have to avoid the forced abortion the man and family desire. Occasions are common, where the connection with the man's family is broken, or where the girl will have the child, and the family will give some money. It is estimated that there are over 5,000 unwed mothers recorded yearly, but the article believes it is over 6,000 when you include the mothers who don't report the birth.
In many of the developed countries the man once it is proven he is father has to pay child support. In Canada when the man is derelict in his duty, his car license and passport are taken away.
In and outside the church, we hear about the need to prevent the unmarried mother's problem with education. When it is not prevented there is a need to understand the situation and help in the care of the child and avoid the abortion. Many other groups and society are working together to increase the help, but it is still too little.
The number of unwed mothers continues to increase, and they are getting younger, which means efforts have to be made to strengthen the family bond and the need for society to be concerned.
A professor at the Catholic University of Taegu, writes in an opinion column of the Catholic Times about the American film Spotlight. The film was acclaimed as one of the best pictures of 2015 and received
many awards. Portrayal of the investigation by the spotlight team of the
Boston Globe on widespread child sex abuse in the Boston
area by Catholic priests was the story. At the presentation of the awards the director
said: "This Oscar amplifies that voice, which we hope will become a choir that will resonate all the way to the Vatican."
The
investigation began with the new managing editor of the paper in 2001. Mass media needs to help the readers with information that will
instruct, was his conviction. Independence of the paper
has to be maintained in the face of power and personal connections, and
this became the background for their efforts.
Two things
are suggested by the film: the role of religion and the press. Boston is
an area with many white Catholics. The spotlight team was uncovering
attempts to hide the truth with habits from the past and policies among a
readership that was largely Catholic. Of course the Church, lawyers,
doctors, competitive newspapers, Boston Catholics, friends of the
victims were part of the systematic disregard and coldness
concerning the issue and consequently the number of victims and suspects
continued to increase. All were in some way responsible.
Even
the Boston Globe paid no attention to what it knew, and helped to
ignore the issue. It was not a scandal only of the priests but of the of
policies of the church that systematically ignored the pathological
situation. It was an issue that the Vatican needed to be acquainted
with.
Hope was that the church with this sincere effort
of advice would recover its rightful place in society. A choice had to be made on what the press
needs to do and what it is doing.This incident
shows what was necessary. 'Reporting of garbage' should give way
to the reporting of truth was a message of the film.
Another
issue was the church's role and the way the hierarchical system works.
The system is to help Christians live a Christ-like life, and grow
spiritually. When some of the clergy are behaving otherwise the movie shows
what needed to be done. Church is there to help the
Christians and not to cover over the faults of the clergy. If we are
afraid of light on our faults we need to become more transparent.
The
writer was happy to see the response from the Vatican; it was a consolation. The movie is not Anti-Catholic. A Vatican Radio
commentator said the film helped the Church in the United States “to
accept
fully the sin, to admit it publicly, and to pay all the consequences.”
In conclusion, she says, we Catholics should not be afraid of criticism but need to look carefully at our wounds.
In a booklet from Bible Life, the writer introduces us to a Korean maxim: "my heart tells me one thing but there is no evidence." Sadly, this is the reason for many problems and hurts that we encounter in life. Following your gut feeling or your hunches may be a wise move at times, but far from reliable.
We are hurt, and others may be hurt with this approach to behavior. We make judgments on fragments of speech we heard, make guesses, follow vague memories, deceive ourselves, and go in search of illusions.
The writer introduces us to Francis Bacon (1561-1626) a devout Anglican who gave us the ways we can be deceived by what we hear and believe. He called them idols, and the four of them: he described as idols of the Tribe, Cave, Marketplace and Theater.
Idols of the
Tribe come from our human nature; idols of the Cave are the problems
that come from our faults and failings; idols of the Marketplace are the
problems with understanding words; and the Idols of the Theater
come from philosophy, theology and tradition. These are all ways that
prevent us from attaining truth and are hindrances that come from
falseness and unreasonableness.
The writer concludes his article wanting us to beware of these idols that are all pervasive, and wants us to experience truth that is open to experience. We can be familiar with the Scriptures and the teachings but without the experience of God in our lives, we will always be going on impressions. Knowledge that comes only from these impressions does it make us Christians?
Paradoxes in Christianity are many; where the culture conflicts with Christian values, we can easily see what makes a Christian. Society wants us to be winners; Christianity sees strength in losing. Weakness is not always bad, to be empty is the means of being filled, what we see is not as important as what is not seen, and dying to ourselves is the way we begin to live. It is only when we are able to experience these truths and similar ones in our lives can we consider ourselves disciples.
In recent months, we have heard a lot about peace on the Korean Peninsular. Recently, the relationship has become frozen with the nuclear experiments and the long-range rocket firing. South Korea in retaliation has closed the Kaesong factory complex managed together with the North. International sanctions against the North will be tightened and expanded. In the Peace Weekly column, the display of military power on both sides is a return to the cold war days.
What is the reason for the sudden drop in the temperature of the cold war? The columnist sees it in a lack of trust. In many areas, the North has brought about the situation with the nuclear experiments and the launching of the rocket but here, he says, we have two issues we need to remember.
Can we say that South Korea has shown trust towards the North in its policies? If we say we have steadfastly trusted the North in our policies we are....
For well over a half a century our relations with the North have not been one of trust. We have been weary in our relationships; if we were somewhat more flexible, we would not have closed down the Kaesong project: a symbol of our desire for unification.
Have
we acted to receive trust from the North in our policies? Our humanitarian aid often has been politically motivated. We have considered
unification as hitting the jackpot. This motto has not been a reason
to nurture trust. During the cold war the iron fence was in place, the
South envisaged unification by the collapse of the North, while the North considered communization of the South. The North
would not countenance the former nor the South the latter, which makes
the unification dream unrealistic.
If we want
reconciliation and peace we need the two sides to meet and begin talking: more often the better. The
closing of the Kaesong factory complex is a great sadness. It doesn't
mean that we want to use some magic words to reopen the factory, but we do not want to slacken our consciousness and we need to continue looking for openings to
begin talks. Christians have prayer always available.
We need to think hard and in depth on what is
necessary for the two Koreas to put aside their estrangement and
sit and talk.
A bulletin for priests this month, recalled some of the words of the late Cardinal Stephen Kim found in his writings.
Let us live without fretting by sharing.
By discarding and emptying there is the filling: sharing is the way to go.
No hating or holding a grudge against someone.
No anger, the one who gets angry hurts oneself.
The angry kill themselves and others, no one will approach them, and they will be lonely and friendless.
Prayer removes rust, and is like a streak of light that enters an age-old cave. Rather than clenching one's fist those that fold their hands in prayer are stronger.
One who has much and the one with little can both be happy in the world in which we live.
A wealthy person with material goods has the burden of worries. One with a wealthy internal life is loaded with happiness.
When we die, we only bring our virtues and the bliss we have spread.
The days we have to love are limited and so also the days to give thanks.
Let us not grieve over the amount of time we have in life.
When we discard and are empty, we are filled.
Let us live with hearts full of love and thanksgiving.
Let us make a practice of learning to laugh. Laughter is a preventive and cure for many diseases. It makes the older joyful, and we become children again.
Real love understands, welcomes, embraces, assimilates, is intimate and humble in conversation.
It took me 60 years to have love move from the head to the heart.
The Old Testament shows us the fight between idols of death and the God
of life. Exodus from Egypt is the victory over idols of death. An article in the Catholic Times reminds us of
this religious truth and goes to explain its meaning.
With the help of God, Moses and the Israelites overcame oppression and exploitation of the Egyptians to reach freedom: only to complain endlessly in the desert. Finally making an idol of a calf they knew from their stay in Egypt as their God that delivered them. They escaped from Egypt, got rid of their external chains but not the internal ones. They were still under the control of greed and the material attractions they left behind, symbolized by the golden calf they made in the desert.
Even when they arrived in the promised land, they began worshiping the Canaanite God Baal. We have the incident explained in the Book of Kings 10:18-27. Baal worship was so wide spread they even called Yahweh, Baal, the God of abundance. This fight against the idols in society was a recurring theme in the Old Testament, and not merely a local religious cult; the root of this idol worshiping goes much deeper. The golden calf and Baal promised wealth and abundance: material prosperity was their craving.
Not so conspicuously as our ancestors in the faith but with other illusions, we seek abundance and in the process make chains for ourselves with oppressive and exploitative structures.
We people of faith continue to make idols which continue to challenge us. Words of Pope Francis in Joy of the Gospel #55 express this well: "One cause of this situation is found in our relationship with money, since we calmly accept its dominion over ourselves and our societies. The current financial crisis can make us overlook the fact that it originated in a profound human crisis: the denial of the primacy of the human person! We have created new idols. The worship of the ancient golden calf has returned in a new and ruthless guise in the idolatry of money and the dictatorship of an impersonal economy lacking a truly human purpose. The worldwide crisis affecting finance and the economy lays bare their imbalances and, above all, their lack of real concern for human beings; man is reduced to one of his needs alone: consumption."
This kind of thinking is expressed well by the words: efficiency, competitive strength, economic development and the like. Our industrial complexes have to do well if the citizens are to live well are the unverified words, we often hear. Economic development and profits from industry do not return to the welfare of the majority of the citizens. The article concludes with the observation that when
'bread' is plentiful it does not mean we are all living well. It is not a sign that we are living as humans.
Chastity, is a word which calls forth ridicule. A sign of where we
are as a culture. Procreative sex necessary, but technological
advances have made recreational sex "safe and healthy". Sex outside of
marriage no longer a problem. Catholic Times visits the topic showing
that Korea is no different than most of the West.
We are given some examples of the ways we are
being desensitized in the area of sex by the mass media: advertising,
movies, sitcoms, drama. Subtle and not so subtle dialogue and pictures
that work on our mental faculties, move the heart and can easily
influence our actions.
One example from an
advertisement we have a woman being compared to food which the man finds
attractive and wants to eat. These and similar examples show how often
we objectify the opposite sex. In this case the objectifying of the
woman degrades her to less than human, to satiate the need of the man.
Dramas,
movies and the like when romance begins we have physical contact and
intercourse as the natural course that will follow. Dating without a sex
mate is 'no fun', romance requires the 'honey and fun'. These words
have become common among the young on the Internet.
The
popular media has accepted the premarital sexual encounters of the
young and chastity before marriage is understood as a quaint 'left over'
from the past. Those who want to live chastely are odd balls, stuffy
people out of touch with reality: considered by some as not respecting
the freedom of women. In a word you are made to feel guilty for your
antiquated understanding of sexuality: a sign of the desensitization
that has occurred in culture.
In a recent survey made
among unmarried 2113 young people: 47% have had a one night experience.
71% see no need to worry about premarital sex. Only 9% found it
necessary to be chaste before marriage. A survey made among those in
their twenties, about half feel no need to be chaste before marriage.
The head of a research institute is quoted as saying that to objectify a
person gives pain; when sex loses its meaning life also loses its
meaning.
Premarital sex, by many, is seen as a good preparation
for marriage but the article mentions the studies made in the States
show the number of divorces of those who have had premarital sex
are two times the number of the chaste.
Recently on TV we had young celebrities who have made known their desire to remain chaste before marriage. You have those who feel that in our society this
kind of talk is playing to deaf ears, and not necessary; the other side
thinks giving oneself to another in the loving embrace of
unity is done too easily and without preparation. The article concludes
with a wish for more discussion on the meaning of sexuality in our lives
and society.
