We all get old and the books on how to do this gracefully are many. In the Catholic Peace Weekly a review of a book written by a Seoul Diocesan priest on this issue has gone into a second printing within a month of publication.
Aging is part of life. When we reach middle age, wrinkles occur, energy diminishes, thoughts and attitudes become hardened. When young, we had the strength to listen to others, but with age, even this gets harder. Growing old gracefully is easy to talk about but not so easy in the doing.
Growing Old Gracefully is a guide to lead adults to communicate with 'dignified authority'. Since we are going to age it's best to do it with grace.
One of the traits of the elderly is to spend a great deal of time in the past and little time in the present and future. This mentality will obviously keep the young away and bring loneliness to the elderly. The older we get the more we fear change, but if we remain the same we will regress.
The writer gives us the word Olympics to help remember his 8 recipes for aging with grace. Openness, Listening, Yielding, Modesty (humility), Possessions, Interest, Clean and bright, (Smile, Spirit and Soul).
We need to be open and listen to the stories around us. Opening ourselves is sometimes accompanied by pain but without the pain, we fail to grow inwardly, personally and spiritually. Listening to those around us; stepping back and yielding to others; modesty and humility; not grasping our possessions but emptying ourselves; interest in life; clean and cheerful and finishing with the last chapter on Smiling, Spirit, and Soul.
One strong message of the book is the age question in Korea. How old are you? Unlike the West, Korea is a society with strong formal authority. The senior/junior relationship is very strong and makes for a great deal of formality, lack of spontaneity and naturalness.
We are obsessed with what we possess and often make much of the cultural bias of the young and forget the bias of the elderly. Real authority is not only based on age and position but comes from genuinely dignified and respectful behavior. Adults should not stick only to their own values and worldviews but have an open mind and listen to the opinions of others.
The writer emphasized the importance of the 'inner journey'. When focused on the 'external journey', we're overcome with youthful vigor, external appearance and desire to know the world; he recommends we begin learning to become a 'mature old person' through reading, retreats, prayer, and meditation. "Let's be like the sun during the twilight, passionately painting the the world beautifully."
"I'm sorry I was born. I'm sorry I'm alive." One of the students who suffered from sexual violence posted these words on SNS. A professor in the humanities department of a Catholic University writes about her embarrassment and sadness on reading these words. She expresses her thoughts on the opinion page of the Catholic Peace Weekly.
Sexual violence refers to sexual harassment and sexual assault. It is a combination of physical, psychological, and legal violence that inflicts harm to others in sexual matters against their will.
In the early 1990s, violent incidents such as sexual torture, sexual violence and murder became well known in Korea, raising social interest in sexual violence. As a result, social awareness has gradually changed, but misconceptions are still widespread. Today often we blame the victim for one reason or another and the victim is burdened with guilt.
Often, when a sexual assault occurs, the victim's clothing, drinking, the late hour and behavior are all listed as problems. "If I didn't do what I did at that time it wouldn't have happened." "Why did I act in that way?" In cases of sexual violence, often the victims end up blaming themselves.
Victims suffering sexual assault are required to go to the hospital, receive emergency medical treatment, collect evidence but care for the victim should be first. In addition to victims' own efforts, family, friends, colleagues, and agency personnel should help the victim overcome their physical and psychological difficulties and to live their lives comfortably. If necessary, appropriate intervention and counseling by professionals should also be carried out. It is necessary to give courage and strength to victims so that they can overcome their fear, hurt and pain, listening and sympathizing with the story of the victim without reprimanding or sympathizing with pity.
It is not appropriate to force the perpetrator to understand or ask for forgiveness. The perpetrator must also take full responsibility for his or her wrongdoing before blaming his mistake on others, the social culture, or the victim.
Sexual violence, dating violence, domestic violence and all other violent incidents are caused by the power relationship between the strong and the weak. It occurs in the relationship between men and women, adults and children, teachers and disciples, bosses and subordinates, depending on age and gender. It is not easy for the victim in the position of the weak to appropriately deal with the perpetrator in the position of the strong. Sexual violence prevention and related measures should be approached as a problem of society as a whole
First, education in sexuality should be carried out step by step from the time of childhood to cultivate a correct sexual consciousness. In addition, it is necessary to build a practical and integrated victim support system and correction system for the perpetrator. We must build a society that respects and protects human equality and dignity.
Recently one of the members of the Korean National Assembly took his own life, a politician considered by many as a person of integrity and honesty. A lawyer in the The Catholic Times' open forum, writes about his death.
He considered those opposed to his position like mosquitoes and what was needed when they gathered to demonstrate their oposition was a can of mosquito spray. As a leader of one of the progressive parties his efforts to get rid of long standing evils was not accepted by many. In a joking way he considered those who were against reform a swarm of mosquitoes.
Roh Hoe-chan, a generous and humorous lawmaker, committed suicide on July 23rd. In his suicide note he admitted that he received two political donations totalling 35 thousand dollars.He was not asked for any favors and neither did he do anything in return but the law requires that a political donation be reported which he did not do; his guilty conscience was too much to carry. He considered the failure to report, stupidity on his part.
The cleaning ladies of the National Assembly lined up and cried. The opposition members who were against reform also had great sorrow on hearing of his death. Since he used humor and did not call call them the 'force of deep rooted evil', the opposition was not turned completely against him.
What would it be like if Mr Roh had not chosen to take his own life? He would be called to a special investigation every day. Why didn't you report the money? What did you do in return for the money? He would have gone throught a tortuous period. The mass media daily would criticize and condemn him. "You pretended to be an apostle of justice and clean but were taking bribes. You were a hypocrite." He would have been able to paper his room with the hate filled comments that would have come his way. Eventually, he would have made the same choice after all the humiliation. He forsaw the future and took his life.
The situation in society is of concern: we are made captive by a great deal of blind hate.Those taken in for questioning by the police continually large numbers take their own lives. It's not the torture and abuse during the course of the investigation which they can accept but the murderous criticism of the press and public opinion are too much for many.
It is clear that the 'Me Too' movement, which has changed the male-centered thinking and system that has been going on for a long time, does not mean to create a women-centered society by using men as the enemy. However, some women insult patriot Ahn Jung-geun because he was male, pickets asking the president to commit suicide, criticizing the church's anti-abortion campaign for violating the women's right to self-determination and even the desecration of the Eucharist to try to make a point.
Furthermore, some people who are pointed out as perpetrators blame themselves for being for a second time on the offensive when they ask for the truth through a public trial. It is not perfect, but the trial is the last step guaranteed by the Constitution, in seeking the truth.
There is no fault in this world that is so heavy that the person's existence needs to be denied. The Pope recently made this a teaching of the church which for many is a stumbling block. Life is sacred, the death of another is no longer necessary to maintain law and order. The cheapening of life is seen when we can condemn and criticize others enough to lead to suicide. Not to hate and correcting mistakes is very difficult, but it is the way to go.
Have we entered the times where we begin drawing up filial piety contracts between a mother and her child? So begins an article in the Peace Column of the Catholic Peace Weekly by a welfare commentator.
Problems of the elderly are not recent arrivals but the words 'filial contracts' in society gives us a look at a cross-section of society which was not present in the past. The writer works in the social welfare field and hearing such a legalistic expression aroused her curiosity.
Contents of the contracts in which parents ask for money for their years of care from their children is a new reality. Things are beginning to change but parents would often give all of their savings and real estate holdings to the children or buy their houses and sacrifice all for the children and in their old age be left to fend for themselves.
Filial contracts are legal documents that make it mandatory for all grown children to financially and emotionally care for their aged parents if they have benefited from the parent's gifts. This is strange; sadly deemed necessary because of the situation in society. The meaning of family takes a blow with the implementation of these contracts. The actual numbers are increasing.
The aging of the population is a global trend. The high percentage of the elderly population is not a big concern but Korea only took 27 years to become an elderly society compared to Europe which often took more than a 100 years. The side effects in Korea were many.
In Korea, the poverty of the elderly is high compared to other countries, and there is a sudden increase in the number of people dying alone and neglected. Since 2009 the suicide rate of the elderly occupies first place among the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) countries.
Japan quickly recognized the problems of the elderly and supports them so as not to be alienated from society. Nursing care insurance for people who can not maintain their daily lives relieves the burden on the family and provides convenient facilities with care for the elderly in various places. It's a policy of the Japanese government to guarantee a happy old age, and remarkably maintaining human dignity and promoting family life.
Since 2008, Korea has been building a legal and institutional framework to become a welfare state, starting with long-term care insurance and linking care services with the local community. However, when problems arise they work to fix them but leaving many blind spots in the process.
How has the care and preparation for the elderly progressed? We should think about whether the dignity and ethical living of the elderly is fostered, not just pledges to seek the good of the elderly during the election period.
The Vatican has recognized the inequalities of elderly people, which are easily exposed in society, and called for special attention to ensure the dignity of the elderly. Pope Francis also emphasized there is no future for anyone who does not care for grandparents.
In the Christian life, "what good do I have to do in order to have eternal life?" Jesus said "Take care of your parents." Parents are signs of God's parenthood and motherhood, allowing us to enter society.
It is time to urgently improve the government's care service system in accordance with the reality along with the care culture for the elderly. We need to think as human beings before using the absurd and unfamiliar words of "a contract of filial piety" between parents and a child.
Korea has one of the best Catholic presences in the mass media compared with countries much larger and with more Catholics. The Seoul Diocese operates a newspaper, radio, television and internet resources for the whole Church but the responsibility is diocesan.
Korea has come a long way but when it comes to the internet the Catholic presence has probably been weakened because of the algorithms used. This is the way the word Catholic will be used in the search engines. From personal experience, which may be far from the reality, the sympathetic use of the word Catholic in searches has been greatly neutralized from what it was ten years ago. Not surprising but good to know. However, websites are accessed by addresses which is not haphazard and that is where we should put our interest.
The other media are doing well and growing in Korea. Just recently the Vatican has launched its Korean service (www.vaticannews.va/ko.html). The Vatican News is the official online news portal of the Vatican.
The Korean branch of the Vatican Broadcasting has been providing Korean language service since 2015 but only available through the Vatican Radio website. Recently with the addition of the Korean language to the other 33 languages offered it is now possible to access articles in Korean. Currently, about 80 percent of the original articles are available in Korean.
Search for 'Vatican News' on any smartphone and you will have the website appear. The menu gives you four categories: Pope, Vatican, Church, and World, select Korean as your language and you have a new vehicle to the Catholic world of news for the Korean speaking.
The Vatican, which communicated the news with the Vatican Radio website, launched the Vatican News, to "spread the gospel using new media" a few years ago. For those interested in the website in English for the Korean Bishops'Conference, you can access it at (http://english.cbck.or.kr/).
Some dioceses have developed a smartphone-friendly internet platform so parishes can easily establish an internet presence for their parishes. Many parishes have their own homepages, the beginning is easy the continued development and search for interesting, profitable learning experiences is difficult.
One diocese has designed the platform so anybody with a basic knowledge of web pages, blogging and e-mail can easily manage the parish homepage. Surprising how little the study of the internet as a means of evangelization has failed to gain the attention of church leaders.
Catholics, at least in theory, should have a similar understanding of what it means to be a Christian. Sadly, we pick and choose, forgetting that faith is something given and our lives are not our own. Not easily experienced in the 21st century.
Using cyberspace for the good of others and in search of what is the One, the Good, the True and the Beautiful are all attributes of Being and of God. In search of these we are in search of God whether we realize it or not.
Over and over again we hear about the new technological revolution that will change the way we live, think and act. It will be different from anything we have experienced. We have the signs of this new revolution in our society but no idea of how it will develop.
A professor at the Catholic University writes in the Kyeongyang magazine about a new philosophy needed to understand the changes that will come. The media, like never before, tells us that the industrial revolution will retreat, information will take over and artificial intelligence will change our lives.
What is behind this thinking? Does a Christian see the future in this way? Our writer agrees that it is an important issue for the future but our societal response is excessive. It will depend on the way we adapt and respond to the changes in society that will make the difference.
The industrial revolution of the 18th century had two faces. It brought great changes to Europe: great wealth and dominance; the rest of the world came under the control of imperialistic thinking. Colonialism became common and Korea suffered from it for many years. A period of barbarism and violence. We are still suffering from the twists and turns of being behind in the first revolution but in the world of public opinion and our lead in information cyberspace, we are very sensitive to the changes in society that will come from the 4th revolution— artificial intelligence.
We have been in the information age for some time, but have we determined what has happened to us in the process? Our writer doesn't think we have studied the results of the information age, its meaning, or examined and meditated on the impact on humanity. We have entered the 4th revolution, not conscious of what is happening.
Our modern civilization has come to a point of change. A change in the way we have been doing business, but also because of the limitations of the worldview that came with the enlightenment— liberty, democracy, and reason and the discussions that resulted. This was shown in the many 'post-isms' that began to flood our age and a reason we will need a new philosophy for the 4th revolution.
We hear about posthumanism and trans-humanism. Scientists are talking about life science engineering. Attempts to improve ourselves by engineering on our humanity. Making supermen, and overcoming the limitations of our humanity. The movie Ex Machina is an example of this thinking and much of the science fiction.
He finishes the article with a hope that we will not be fooled by the thinking of many of the futurists who are talking about moving humanity to another level. If we listen to this kind of talk without skepticism, and welcome it without questioning, the results will be emptiness and a loss of meaning in life.
As Christians and not only as a Christians but as human beings what will the change in industry, politics and finance do to our understanding of ourselves and society? Christianity has the anwers but even among the Christians we have many degrees of fidelity and a philosophical understanding would give answers to many seekers in this new changing society.
Gifts are very much part of the Korean culture. Distinguishing between a bribe and a gift is not always easy. A gift is given without any thought of return. This is usually the case. This may not be true in the world of business but in ordinary daily life, giving and receiving gifts is a sign of the regard one person has for another.
In a diocesan bulletin, a teacher writes about gifts and what they have meant to him over the years. He begins by stating that a gift is a medium expressing the feelings of the heart. Strengthens our positive emotions and solidarity between people. Nine out of ten Koreans are happy in giving gifts but not always. They can be a burden.
Traveling overseas the thought of bringing back a present was a concern. Husbands who take trips overseas, a gift for the wife looms large, especially in sorrow that she is not making the trip. Until they find the right present they will be stressed out. Once found, peace returns to the face.
On trips overseas, he has returned with gifts for his wife he thought appropriate. However, the results were not what he had envisioned. It is not easy to pick a gift that the recipient finds gratifying. Both have to lower their expectations.
Often at the school where he teaches he buys others a cup of coffee or a drink, they often after a trip come back with a ballpoint pen or a keychain or similar gift and he has a drawer full of these mementos. In the beginning, he was thankful but over time the giver and the receiver found it a burden. It took some time for this custom to disappear.
Over the years he has given and received many gifts. Many have been given with a pure heart but also even a small gift often is a burden when given to people with whom we are concerned. However, a gift from the heart moves one greatly.
He remembers during teachers' training many years ago he was the homeroom teacher for a first-year girls' high school. It was Teachers' Day which he had forgotten and as he was entering the teachers' room he was presented with a bouquet of flowers and a red carnation was pinned to his lapel. He still remembers this with emotion.
Giving a present requires a little bit of 'savoir-faire' a basic technique of some kind is required and the writer admits that his wife has more than he has. When he has been absent on a couple of occasions, she has changed the interior of many of the rooms and papered the walls and brought some articles which he had desired. All done without any inconvenience to the writer giving him great pleasure.
Learning an important lesson, during his wife's pilgrimage to Europe he took it upon himself to clean the bathroom. It took three days. He got rid of all the mold and dirty spots, coated the tile floor. It was a difficult task but he did it with joy. On the return of his wife, she was very happy with what she found and he decided to find other ways of giving gifts in the future.
His gifts in the past were not the kind that gave emotional joy; gifts were given mostly out of habit. More than concern for the other person was a concern for himself. In the future, gifts with interest in the other, filled with love and the money value of the gift of little importance. The amount of sincerity involved and the joy of making another person happy will be his interest.
