Saturday, July 10, 2010

Needs For A Good Summer Vacation

A columnist for the Catholic Times gives us ten commandments for a good summer vacation.

1st: Let us get rid of unnecessary baggage. While we laugh on the outside, inside we may have many things bothering us. Let us get rid of them and be content with our light baggage.

2nd: Let us bring our souls along with the body.

3rd: Let us get rid of confrontations. The knife we aim at others, let us use only in disciplining ourselves.

4th: Let us empty ourselves. The road to virtue is humility. When we empty ourselves, the world appears differently.

5th: Let us get rid of greed. Happiness and greed can't exist together: the more greed, the less happiness.

6th: Let us change. And not demand that others change.

7th: Let us study. Bring along some spiritual books.

8th: Let us be open to meeting others. If we approach others with a welcoming attitude, they will respond with a welcoming attitude.

9th: Let us go in search of the road of virtue. Get rid of all anger; criticism is of little use.

10th: Let us see all with a new light. Vacations can be discoveries of something new. If up until this time we have seen the sun only peeking through the clouds, let us get rid of the clouds and see the true sun, Jesus.

Friday, July 9, 2010

A Sad Story Too Often Heard

A columnist in the recent Catholic Times gives us something to think about. He described the conversation he had with an ex-convict whose greatest problem was trusting others. Living in a world he found threatening, he grew up believing he must be strong and, if necessary, violent; it got him into prison.


He told a story that goes back to his 5th-grade grammar school days. He lived in a city and on one occasion relatives came to attend a wedding, staying overnight at his house. Since the group was in the city, they thought it a good idea to do some sightseeing before returning to the country. That evening he was invited to sing and, imitating a famous comedian on TV at that time, he was a big hit with everybody.

The next day when he returned from school, his mother, without a word, slapped him three hard blows to the face. He couldn't talk, it hurt so much. Money had been taken from a wallet of one of the relatives, and she thought he was the culprit. The young boy remembered the reception he got for singing the night before, and now to be slapped in front of them all for something he did not do was an insult he couldn't bear. The relative had placed the money in another bag and found it later. But no one apologized to the boy for the false accusation and his mother never seemed to give the incident a second thought.

When the boy was hit, he couldn't forget the feeling of wretchedness, the look on his mother's face, and the laughter of his relatives. He can still recall the whole scene without difficulty, and understands how they all felt, thinking he was the thief. The difficulty is that no one, at any time, said a word of apology or showed any sadness for what happened. Why didn't anybody express regret, he wanted to know, for the false accusation. He broke down and cried. The columnist also cried.

It's a sad story that could easily have had a different ending. Many times a word or two of sorrow expressed for some hurt we have caused others can change how a troubling situation is ultimately perceived. But these words of sorrow do not easily form in our mouths. We hope that our kindness in the future will take care of the scars, but it doesn't usually happen that way. The incident is often repressed, and those who have been hurt do not forget. Those in our family and in the communities to which we belong are usually the ones we find the hardest to apologize to. Ironically, those who intend to do the right thing at all times, the perfectionists among us, have the most difficulty saying, I'm sorry. These few words would make a big difference in society. Spoken when necessary, these words can often defuse a threatening situation that otherwise might linger with us, causing problems--as it did for the ex-convict--for many years,and maybe for life. .

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Young and Old in Korea

"Why are the kids acting up so much? And wearing the clothes they wear? And no longer respect their elders." A typical response from an elder.

"Why do elders say, 'when I was young,' as a matter of course, and keep on repeating themselves?" A typical response from a young person.

In the eyes of many, there are in Korea two groups of people having little contact with each other: the young and the old.. And the breach and failure to understand each other keeps on growing. Society does not show any interest in doing something about the generation gap, and neglects the numbers of old people living alone and the abuse that they receive; 14 percent of those over 65 have been mistreated.

The Catholic Church, however, has taken an interest, and the Seoul diocese recently had a symposium on the generation gap and the discord that currently exists between the young and the old.

The changes that have taken place in Korea in the last 50 years are such that one can't help but expect this discord. The old have had as their goal in life to eat and live well. Those born after 1980 are searching for happiness and meaning. It is no wonder that they have a different way of looking at life. What took the West hundreds of years to achieve, Korea achieved in 50 years.

The older generation grew up in large families and were taught to be independent; most of the younger generation are treated like royalty by their parents. We should not be surprised when the consequences of this upbringing become manifest.

One professor who spoke at the symposium said that older people should see the young with an open mind and the young should try to understand the older people's way of thinking. Attending the liturgy and events together should help break down some of the differences. .

Another professor presented some interesting statistics: 2nd-grade grammar school children seem to be the most understanding of older people, and those after middle school seem to have the most trouble with them, perhaps due to the heavier burden of school duties.

The article reporting on the symposium concluded that we should show more consideration for elders, create a friendlier society for them, and more welfare programs, and that the public media show more sympathy for the problems of the elderly.




Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Why Does Korea Have Such A High Rate?

The Here and Now website, Nahnews, has some comments on the latest celebrity suicide. The suicide didn't make any sense. He was a popular movie star and singer. Well known in countries outside of Korea and seemed to have all that anyone could desire. He left no testament and left many puzzling about what went wrong.

Recently, Korea has had a number of celebrities killing themselves. Statistics show that among the developed, OCED, countries, Korea is leading by far in this unfortunate statistic. Every year there is an increase, but what we do not hear much about is the elderly suicides, where the rate is increasing every year. The average would be 26 persons for every 100,000; the rate for those over 80 is 112.9 persons for every 100,000. The number of the elderly over 60 who have taken their lives would be almost 33% of the total suicides.

Why would a country that has made such great strides economically have so many finding it difficult to live? As important as it is to be friendly with older people--talking and being kind to them in public places, in buses, in subways and in stores, whenever and wherever we have an opportunity to do so--alleviating the symptoms can only be a temporary solution; we must look for the underlying causes if a permanent solution is to be found.

Many of the elderly have seen the breakdown of the family; they are living with an economic strain and illnesses that are too hard for them to contend with, which prompts many of them to take their own lives. Depression is a very big part of this picture.

The structures of our society have not kept up with the improvement of our living conditions. The article stresses that the quality of life in Korea has deteriorated in the past 20 to 30 years, and asks what happened during this time. We have become sensitive to our rights more so than any time in our history. Have we ever had a time with more prosperty? Have we ever worried like today over the excessive nutrients the body has to deal with?

It is difficult to try to make sense of what is happening. The prosperity we have achieved can also bring sadness into the lives of many. Are we making a society where the survival of the fittest will be our reality?

The current reality for many is the heightened interest and enormous resources devoted to develop the economic sector of society. It would be unrealistic to try to put a stop to this, but at the same time, interest has to be directed to understand the reasons for the death wish of so many. In Korea, and undoubtedly in other countries, families do not want to talk about these untimely deaths, and asking about the causes brings no satisfactory answers, only more sadness. What is needed is an attempt to look into the reasons, make them known, and work to eradicate the causes if we are to have a healthy society.



Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Benefits of International Schools In Korea?

In a letter to the editor of a daily newspaper, a Religious Sister, principal of a Catholic School in Incheon, expresses her opinion on international schools that are now opening in Korea. Songdo International City in Incheon has received permission to go ahead with its international school and accept Koreans as 30 percent of its student body.

This is well received by many since it will allow many families to send their children to these schools, have the benefits of study overseas, allow parents to be protective of their children and save money in the process. The results of the product of these schools will be for the future to make clear.

The Sister plainly states that, out of pride, it is difficult to accept that we are going to turn over the education of our children to foreigners. She doesn't know about the propriety of middle and high school education overseas, but in the earlier years, it seems to her problematic to have children educated by foreigners in a foreign language, in a foreign culture, with foreign values and done here in Korea.

At this time of life, children are preparing themselves for maturity. It is during this time that they find out who they are and, hopefully, developing a coherent and worthwhile value system that will build their character. It is not like Koreans living in the States and sending their children to American schools; these children are living in Korea and are taken out of their home environment to go to school.

Schools, of course, do not teach only language and the usual intellectual subjects but emotional health, culture, values, among other things. If this is globalization why teach only English? To deal with the problems that will likely arise, it is necessary that the Government becomes involved and not leave the solution solely in the hands of the different districts.

Sister sees education dependent on the whole of life. It is easy to look at one area of life and forget the others. Utilitarianism, for example, would see education mainly useful in getting a good job, making more money, having access to the right people. This may be important to achieve these limited goals but if one doesn't find the expected happiness and meaning in life, then danger lurks ahead. Knowledge is just one part of the educational process. We tend to isolate it from the other parts and think that it alone will bring success. We must not forget that education begins in the home; we are educated more by what we experience in the family, in reading, relating, and pondering over the mysteries of life than we are by our schools. If we are orientated to getting good marks, degrees and jobs, then our schools will likely fail us in guiding us to a more meaningful life.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Father And Son In The New Korea

The mother of Mencius, an interpreter of Confucius, moved three times to help her child. They lived, first, near a cemetery where the son began imitating the mourners; then they moved near a market where he was influenced by the ways of the market, and, finally, they moved near a school where Mencius started his journey in scholarship.

Even today, parents will do anything to get a good education for their children. A good education is thought to be the road to happiness. The young are no longer protected by family from being influenced by what is going on in the outside world, so the problems are quite different from the past.

A priest, writing for the Pastoral Diary column in the Peace Weekly, tells us of two incidents that are frequent in the Korea of today.

One evening, late at night, a teacher from the Sunday catechetical program came to see the priest, with a first-year high school boy, guitar in hand. The teacher explained that the boy was thrown out of the house because he wanted to study music and his father wanted him to go to college. That evening the boy had no place to go and the teacher had no room in his house for the boy, so he came to the priest for help. The priest called around to find a place for the teenager. He had the teacher call the mother to tell her not to worry; they had found a place for the son to sleep.

In this case, there is a young man in love with music. In the old days, music was not considered an occupation parents would consider for their children. This has changed but there are parents who haven't. The father wants the boy to go to college; the boy is interested only in music. So who gets his way?

In the other case, a boy has a temper tantrum, causing a serious commotion in his classroom. The priest spent hours with the young man, with the boy ending up crying. It was a problem again with the father, and in frustration the son took it out on others.

The priest concludes that fathers have to listen more compassionately to their children. It has not been the Korean way, but times have changed and fathers have to change as well.

Dialogue is still not something parents find easy to do in the home. The relationship of husband and wife is stronger than the relationship of father and son in the Korea of today. Still the pain that an older son can inflict is felt as in the old Korea. In the cases referred to, the boys want to do something the fathers consider unacceptable. Dialogue has to begin, with fathers seeing other possibilities than those they originally preferred.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Letter From Prison, St. Andrew Kim Martyr

Following is the letter sent by St. Andrew Kim to Christians while he awaited death in prison. In translating the letter, I wanted to experience the feelings of the Saint before his death. It was an attempt to relish the words that he used in his farewell letter to the Christians. The letter has been adapted to the Korean usage of the present, so liberties were taken with the original text.

Fellow Christians let us look and see.

Think, think of these things. God made all things and among these, he made us in his image to live on this earth. Let us reflect on God's great will and ponder it.

If we think of all that has to be done on this earth, there are many pitiful and sad things that come to mind. (Ecclesiastes 1-2: Vanity of vanities, says the preacher. All things are vanity!) Seeing this miserable and wretched world in which we are born, if we do not know the God, who made us, then we will not know the fruitfulness of life.

However, even if we know the God, who made us and have been baptized and have not lived as his disciple, then we will not find satisfaction, but we will have ingratitude to God, and we will be in a position worse than those who have not been baptized.

Let us look at the farmer who plants his field: he takes no notice of the heat and tiredness; at the right time, he plows the land, fertilizes it, plants the seed, and takes care of it. God does the same. He accepts us as seeds; grace can be considered the fertilizer and he waters us with the blood from Jesus' passion. If we take what is given and have produced fruit, at the judgement, we go to heaven. If we have not bourne fruit, then we become his enemy and worthy to be punished for all eternity.

Dear brothers and sisters, listen carefully!

Our Lord Jesus Christ came down to us and took upon himself much suffering and in the midst of this anguish established the Church, and the Church by suffering grew all the more. After the Ascension, from the time of the Apostles until now, the Church has been persecuted. The Holy Church has been in Korea for 50 to 60 years and has gone through many persecutions. Even now, many Christians, I along with them, have been arrested, and we continue to suffer. Christians, let us face this bravely. How can it be that we face this torture without difficulty? This forced separation from our parents is difficult to accept. However, in the Scriptures we all know that God tells us he is concerned about even the hairs of our head. Is this not all part of God's providence?

In following the will of our Lord with complete trust, and united with Jesus, already the devil has been struck. As we are now undergoing this time of strife, let us brace ourselves and with all our strength and with all our capabilities--using our weapons, the Rosary, Scripture, and Sacraments like strong soldiers--let us fight the good fight, and we will win.

Please let us not forget our love for one another, help one another and with patience overcome the suffering. Twenty of us are in prison. With God's grace holding us up, even after death don't forget our families; take care of them. I have much to say, but it can't be expressed with words. We are ready to go out to the place of execution. We will prepare well and meet you in heaven.

Please do not give in to the persecution, brace your hearts day and night, ask God for help, fight against the world, the flesh and the devil, and overcome these difficulties and give glory to God and save our souls! This trial is a way of gaining merit. Think of it with thanks. Let us imitate the life of the men and women saints and give glory to God. Let us give ourselves to one another, become one, and ask for mercy. Let us wait for the time of grace.

Since I am in prison, I can't say all that I want to. Let us meet in heaven. I pray earnestly that we may all enjoy heaven for all eternity.

1847 end of August, Kim Andrew