Extreme Difficulty of Fraternal Correction in Our LIves

In American culture, we often hear that speech is silver and silence golden. Silence can be a great gift we give to another when we truly listen, says a columnist in the Catholic Times. But it can become a torment to the listener, he reminds us, when a conversation turns into a monologue. 

He tells us about a person who was always ready to enlighten those he was with by recounting whatever he had learned or experienced, often Xeroxing and passing out interesting articles and talking enthusiastically about a good movie he had seen or a good book he had read.  At first, this information was welcomed, but soon, within a month for some, they would begin to avoid him. Others would stay with him longer before becoming frustrated by his non-stop speech and wanting no more to do with him. As painful as this was for him, he did not get the unspoken message; he would simply go on to find others who would listen to him.

The columnist, having heard about his behavior, met him for lunch with a friend, and soon learned that what had been said about the man was true. It was a simple lunch but he and his friend received a thorough education on the foods being eaten, their proper preparation and their origin. During the meal, he also heard  about finances, politics, society, and culture.  It was like listening to the news of the day being delivered by someone very knowledgeable and interesting.

After the meal, accepting his invitation to a tea room, they heard him give a detailed account of the history of the tea room. When he was interrupted briefly by some words of their own, he would soon return the talk to his own reflections and take over the conversation once again.

The columnist returned home having heard too much and having little empathy for the man.  In all that was said, he was the main point of the talk. He had no idea of what those who were with him  had in their hearts and  didn't seem to care. Thinking of what others have in their hearts and encouraging them to share that is as important as what one has to say to others; it is the  secret of growth in human relations, the columnist believes.  This sympathy for the other's words and the sharing of what each one has to say is what makes for a lasting friendship, the columnist concludes.

In a stereotype of this kind, it is easy to see the waywardness of the man.  One would think that as part of fraternal correction someone  would have brought his disturbing behavior to his attention. If it is not a mental disorder, it seems something could have helped him. Fraternal correction, considered years ago a high form of charity, is nowadays not so readily accepted as a viable way of showing love for another. And yet, although silence is the better part of wisdom in many cases, silence can be a  failure to love.

"Spirituality of Smallness" in the Evangelization of Asia

At the recent Lay Leaders' meeting in Seoul, 400 delegates from 18 countries came together to discuss the role of the Catholic Church in Asia today, the nature of their work and prospects for the future. Since the Catholic population in Asia is small the theme for the six day meeting, "Proclaiming Jesus Christ in Asia Today," was an attempt to address the difficulties of evangelizing in this part of the world, including the need to deal with the lack of religious freedom in many  of the countries. 
 
The editorial in the Peace Weekly mentioned the worry  of the preparation committee for the program, but  the praise given by the Cardinal representative from Rome changed the worry into great joy.

At the beginning of the 6 day meeting a representative from  each of the countries gave an introduction of the work and prospects for the future.

One of those countries, Turkmenistan, unfamiliar to most delegates both in name and location, has one priest, Fr. Andrzej Madej, serving a community of 95 Catholics. Though the community is extremely small, it is nearly a 100 fold increase from the time, 13 years ago, when the country had two missioners and one Christian, an Iranian, as a congregation. The priest who worked with him has been changed, but he will be joined by another Spanish priest soon.  

Still with no building of their own, they have to use whatever building is available. But an encouraging development was recently registering with the government which gives the Church legitimacy. Not all parishioners are native born; besides the Iranian, there are five Koreans who attend English Mass. He has a special fondness for them and hopes the Korean Church will soon send missioners to the country.


The Catholic presence in this country of 5 million (89 percent Muslim and 10 percent Orthodox Christian) is a stark reminder of the difficult task ahead. Working with very small Catholic communities in most Asian countries, the Church must now be content, said the Cardinal of Seoul in the final address to the delegates, to work with a "spirituality of smallness."

Perceptions of Korean Catholicism and Protestantism

In Korea, why are the numbers of Catholics increasing and the numbers of Protestants decreasing? A candidate for a master's degree at the Jesuit University in Seoul decided to find out, and wrote his thesis based on the results of his research. The results were picked up and published recently by the Yonhapnews Service in Seoul.

What he found out was that Catholicism as seen by most Koreans was more magnanimous, more lenient,  compared to Protestantism, making the Catholic Church a more attractive option for many desiring to join a Church.

 Korea is a land of  many religions and no religion, and did not  provide the writer with a reliable measuring standard for the data he had collected;  he turned to the United States and  the  distinction often made there between "strict" --authoritarian, doctrinal purity, obedience, enthusiasm for the teachings--and "tolerant"--relativism, pluralism, readiness to dialogue over differences.

It was obvious to the writer that  in contrast to the United States, the perceived tolerance  and magnanimous spirit of the Catholic Church here greatly helped recruit members for the Church. Excluding Catholics,  when Protestants, Buddhists and non-believers were asked  about Catholicism; 49 percent responded favorably, 13 percent responded unfavorably. Asking  Catholics, Buddhists and non-believers  what  they   thought about Protestantism, he found nearly a 20 percent favorable response, a 37 percent unfavorable response.  Based on this data from his research, the master's degree candidate concluded that in Korea, believers and potential believers prefer a tolerant and magnanimous Church over a strict Church. This, he believes, is the reason for the decrease in the numbers of Korean Protestants in contrast to the United States, where Church strictness tends to increase membership.

The news report ends by summing up the conclusion of the thesis: " Catholics in Korea in their faith life are lax and not unfriendly to the larger society;  a tolerant  Church is their trait while  Protestants come across as emotionally tight, not friendly to the larger society, a strict Church. This is the reason for the increase in Catholic membership."

Taking the two factors he chose to work with--Church strictness and Church tolerance--most researchers would probably find evidence to support the conclusion of the thesis. But there are other factors that enter into the  thinking of most Koreans which go unnoticed. The perception Koreans have of the Church no doubt helps the Church increase in numbers; the numbers of those who fall away may also indicate that what they thought Catholicism was like turned out to be different than expected. 
 
The  Catholicism that is perceived in Korea does not seem to ask as much from Christians;  a fact that is readily seen compared to  Protestants: no smoking, no drinking, tithing obligations, no traditional rites for ancestors and many more scheduled meetings, gives the impression of a very strict Church. Hopefully, the Catholic Church interest beyond the personal and to society will not be construed as being lax but will be seen as something integral to Christianity.

Summer Camps for Senior Members of the Congregation

In Korea most parishes have summer camp for children. Older children--grammar, middle and high school students--usually have separate programs and attend camp at different times. Occasionally, family camps are provided so parents can go with their children. Now there are camps for those over 65 who are in good health.


A  priest writing for the priest bulletin mentions that it was the 6th time such a program was being offered, and this year 60 attended. Religious sisters were responsible  for the program which consisted of Mass, talks, visits to the Blessed Sacrament and visiting martyrs' shrines, and many other activities were available. It was a time to recharge their energy level, to look over their lives and to see themselves with new eyes.

Our parishes, both in the country and city, have an aging population. These Christians have been instrumental in the growth of the Church, and efforts should be made, the priest says, to make their later years profitable and prepare them for their twilight years.

Many of them--grandfathers and grandmothers, fathers and mothers--remain on the farms while the children have gone off to the cities to work and live. The parents continue to farm and do the daily chores, and wait for the occasional visit of their children. It is for many of them a lonely time.

The priest would like to change this situation by having the diocese and religious orders take a more active interest in the unique problems and concerns of seniors. Helping them to continue to find meaning in life without their children would be a worthwhile goal.

There is no questioning the Koreans  respect for seniors, but many times it is hands-off-respect. Programs usually have a cut-off age limit: age not health determines who may attend. We do have retreat programs, but they are not welcoming to the seniors,  and  the older people  know  their presence will not be good for the atmosphere that is desired. Having programs specifically for seniors, the priest advises, would be a wise move on the part of the Church and would be welcomed by all seniors.

Understanding The Blessed Mother Without Churchy Words.

In a recent secular  newspaper column, a writer brings up a long-standing debate between the more conservative Protestants and Catholics. He focuses on the central issue of the debate by summing up a commonly repeated charge: "It's obvious the way many Korean Catholics behave before the statue of Mary that they believe in Mary. They pray to her. Isn't that idolatry?"  

Catholics usually respond, he writes, by saying it's a way of showing respect for Mary, and Protestants  respond by asking: does respect require praying to her? That has to be idolatry. He points out that this question of idolatry is not limited to Christianity. A Buddhist temple in China, called the Holy Mother temple, is dedicated to the mother of a famous enlightened Chinese sage. And her statue is in the temple, not the statue of the Chinese sage. Many who visit the temple are surprised to see a statue of a woman instead of the Buddha statue. Building a temple for the mother of a sage also seems unreasonable to many--isn't this going too far, they ask. These and similar expressions are the responses of many who visit the temple.

Many Christians also object to using the term Holy Mother when speaking of the mother of Jesus. The same objections heard when discussing the mother of the Chinese sage. What is the issue being debated,the columnist wants to know? Are we arguing about statues, about the naming of a temple, or are we arguing about an echo that is much deeper? What is  the true character of the echo?

"Holy Mother" is the place in which truth was born. The place from which truth came. The place from which Jesus came. It is not only that, but in the belief of the Christians it is also  the place from which  the  universe came.

In the Scriptures God does not have form. What does that mean? We cannot  meet God by  human constructs.So how do we meet God?  How do we go to the place that Jesus came from, where he went and where he is now?

That God does not have a form  is where we find the answer. We have to get rid of  all the forms. It is not only what we see with the eyes that are forms  but  my cravings and attachments, etc. all that takes hold of my mind. Whether the statue of the Holy Mother is an idol or not will depend on how much these forms have taken hold of us?

  When we look at the cross from top to bottom from side to side it does not stop where the wood stops but goes on to infinity. When we do not try to grab hold  of the form  of the cross,it goes on to infinity and becomes the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end become one.The writer concludes: from the cross he meditates on the the word "Holy Mother" in whom the root of life is contained.

To have a writer in a Korean daily newspaper  take on the issue of devotion to Mary by Catholics was interesting. How well he succeeded is certainly in doubt, but that he would attempt such a feat by using philosophical language was  courageous.

'My Fault Spirituality' Reduces the Non-Practicing Catholics

To change how we think is difficult. To change how a community thinks is even more difficult. A priest from Pusan wanted to invite back to the parish community those who had left the Church but soon found he had to first change the views of his parishioners toward the non-practicing Catholics. He started to do so last year in September, and within three months 703 of them returned as practicing Catholics. (In Korea, only those who have been away from the sacraments for three years or more are considered "fallen away".)

Having a  parish of about 6,200 Catholics, he decided to start with 1,200 who were alienated from the Church for one reason or another. In educating his parishioners for the campaign, he did away with all the negative terms that have been used to describe non-practicing Catholics, replacing them with language from the world of marketing, such as "The first concern is the satisfaction of the customer" --the commercial provider being well aware that when goods are of poor quality, prices high or employees rude, and customer service shoddy or non-existent, customers will stop coming.

The customers, in this case, are the Christians, non-practicing and fallen away Christians whose faith life is weak for any number of reasons: liturgy is boring, sermons uninteresting, too frequent money collections, the Church shows little interest in them. If we don't treat them with kindness, says the pastor, if the community is not satisfying their expectations, how can we expect them to  continue going to church?  It's a question the pastor repeatedly asks. Some of these parishioners even went to nearby Protestant Churches to find out how they care for their members, making what they learned a benchmark of how they were to deal with their own Christians.

Why did they leave the Church? The pastor says, if we want to be honest, it is our fault, the fault of the Church as a community. This was the change in thinking the pastor in his sermons and education programs kept repeating. He was instilling a "my fault spirituality," which focuses not on those who stopped going to church but on the community they left. This was a revolutionary change in thinking for most of his parishioners.  He was creating an atmosphere of good will that would make the return of those who had left the Church easier.

The good will was evident in every detail of a carefully thought-out  program that would make the transition back to the Church less intimidating. Prayer and education sessions were scheduled in the different  areas of the parish, and a day for confession was selected--all preparations being conscientiously followed, including the following:

 -All  parish personnel and finances were made available to the program.
-Carefully thought out  preparations were made to implement the program.
-Taking an active interest in the program  was  everyone's concern.
-A firm commitment by the pastor to the goals of the program.

The results? Church attendance increased, collections doubled, and the parish is now an example to the rest of the Korean Catholic Church of how programs with difficult  goals can be successful when there is a fully committed community working together to achieve those goals.

Children Should Enjoy Being Children

Over the years, it was often heard in Korea that our children are not allowed to be children. In a recent daily newspaper, pictures show students in middle and high school sleeping in class, noting that they are preparing to go to the academies in the evening and getting the necessary shuteye to be wide awake for the real study, preparing for college.
Spending most of their time studying for college, our youngsters are missing a critical time in their life, being children.

In the column "Daily Life and Faith Life" in the Catholic Times, the writer tells us that when a child acts like grownups  most adults will consider it praiseworthy. He asks us if we think that children truly like to do what others consider the grownup thing to do.  Children, he says, are naturally programed to act like children in a world of toys and dolls where reality can't be separated from imagination. They cry when frightened, they easily sulk and do not listen to reason. They brag and cling tenaciously to their possessions, and there is no saying no to any temptation that comes their way. Above all, there is no end to their capacity for curiosity. He believes that it is acting in this way that children grow up to be mature adults, able to distinguish what they should and should not do in society. Little by little they gain responsibility and concern for others.

However, when adults have spent childhood acting like adults, the writer thinks they will often revert to childish ways when they are adults. He quotes a  hermit scholar-priest who  said, " Please let the children be children. Don't hit them when they act frivolously. If they don't act like children when will they? If they grow up acting too much like adults, when they become adults you will be spending a great deal of money for counseling sessions."

The writer says that when he was working in the mental ward of a hospital or in his counseling practice, he often met adults who acted like children. But we can become, he says, too permissive and lacking in discernment, which will tend to form a selfish and egoistical child.  A balanced approach is obviously best. By asking ourselves whether we are healthy adults or child adults who need to act like children, we may gain in this soul-searching a better understanding of what it means, for us and for our children, to grow into an ever-evolving mature adulthood.