Wanting to Better the Life of the Elderly

Many, late in life, feeling a need for more education to do their work well, decide to go on for added studies. The Peace Weekly tells us of Monica, who worked  with poor and alienated women, and who decided, in her 50s, to go to Japan to get a doctorate in gerontology.

After 13 years, not knowing any Japanese when she started, she got her degree. Her dissertation was an exhaustive study of the Korean history of work with the elderly. She will translate it into Korean and plans to publish it in the future. At her age, to go on for a doctorate in another country, unfamiliar as she was with the language, is not something easy to image. Next year, she will be teaching at the Catholic University, which will make her life even busier.

She admitted to wanting to give up many times, but she overcame the difficulties and persevered with her studies, receiving help from many during her time in Japan, and has many to thank, she says. She now has the qualifications of a first-grade social worker, care-giver.  She saw a need to gain knowledge regarding the needs of the  elderly and made her decision to become a specialist in the field.

She has been  a leader in the Catholic Workers Movement and began  a home for women, becoming a Godmother to many. She received education in many different areas of study, and earned a master's degree in women's studies. She  aspires to starting a group home exclusively for the elderly with the necessary cultural accompaniments. Following England's example, she would also like to see restaurants that cater to the needs of the elderly, not only as places where they can eat and drink tea, but where they can get counseling and  enjoy their leisure time.

Her goal will continue to be, she says, to use her knowledge to further the well-being of  the elderly in Korea.

Are You Happy?

When we die and go to heaven, God will ask, according to Sister Park, whether we were happy. She believes we will not be happy without living a spiritual life. 

Sister Park is a Holy Name Sister who teaches spirituality in the States, and was written up in the Catholic Times on her visit to Korea. ( Before going to the States, she was a journalist for the Times.) Spirituality for the Sister is a way of being happy. If you are happy, she says, there must be, underlying the happiness, a spirituality of some sort.   Experience in  our faith life and  experience in our daily life are not separate.  Attempting to find meaning in our lives is what spirituality is all about.

She is preparing to write a book about her experience of community life in Shamanism and in Buddhism. She wants to show the rest of the world  the understanding of community life in Korean culture. She also feels it's a good way to understand our own Scriptures.

Her  community in Korea has taught her about her own personal journey. She was given strength while in the community and wants to discover why this was so. The synergistic effect from  participation in community living is an antidote, she feels, to the present individualism of society.

The article concludes by telling us never to despair. We live within a world where money is everything, but this gross distortion of the truth can be overcome, she says. Failures are means that allow us to grow as mature persons--when we use the failures as challenges. She tells the young to keep on looking for mentors to help in the maturing process. Keep on desiring and praying, she advises, and you will find your mentors.

North Korean Rufugees

North Korean refugees who  flee their communist homeland in order to avoid oppression and  food shortages risk their lives to resettle in the South. The number now living in South Korea is about 24,000.

The Catholic Times  tells us the story of Hong Teresa, 55 years old, who arrived in South Korea in 2008. She remembers hearing about the Catholic Church from her mother as a child and being told to be careful not to speak about this to anyone. This remembrance helped her to receive baptism, in 2009, while living in Seoul.

Teresa escaped from North Korea for the first time in 2002 and was returned to the North by the Chinese authorities. She escaped again in 2005. While in China, she saw the name of a Catholic Church written in Korean script. This brought  back the words of her mother years earlier.

Her mother told her about the foreign missioners who worked in the North and that her maternal grandfather had worked for the Church  but suffered under the Communists because of this connection.  Her family had difficulty finding work, she said, because they were considered undesirable elements within the society.

When she was in China and saw the Catholic church, she entered and introduced  herself to God as the granddaughter of her grandfather, and started to cry. The person that led her to the church gave her a prayer book which she has used ever since.  Three years after leaving the North,  she arrived in South Korea.

There are no Catholic priests in the North, about 3000 Catholics, and a mission station. She feels that the reason they have a semblance of religion there is to publicize an 'openness' to religion to the outside world.  While in Pyongyang, she never heard about the Church; she did, only when she arrived in the South.

Too Much Talk About the Environment?

Too much talk about the environment makes our attempts at eating and living well  worrisome. Some  would like the talk reduced; it tends to bring fear into our lives, says the author of the book Where are the Polar Bears Going to Go? 

Interviewed by both Catholic papers, the author, a priest with a doctorate in environmental science, says the issue is not going to go away simply because we don't want to talk about it. 

He explains why we need to take an interest in the environment: the diseases we are exposed to because of the chemical toxins that are entering the food chain, the spread  of hormones in the environment which can affect sterility, the dangers of genetic engineering, among many other areas of concern.

 Some time in the future will we be talking less about the state of our democracy, he maintains, and more about the state of our environment. At present, those who are harming democracy are penalized; the time will come when those harming the environment will also be penalized. The pollution and destruction of the environment are serious matters, but we are not sufficiently conscious of the destruction.

Koreans, generally, do not appreciate the beauty of our environment, he says, even though the natural environment of Korea is one of the most beautiful in the world, and we are taking care of it. There is no other country that has succeeded in preserving its forests like Korea has: over 65 percent of the land surface is forested. We should start celebrating the beauty of our natural environment.

The author wants religious people to read the signs of the times and be prophetic in their efforts to speak out in this area before it gets worse. He gives us a list of ten things we can do to help: 1) Love nature as we love ourselves. 2) Don't do harm to the animal and vegetable life. 3) Let us boast about the ways of simplicity and be embarrassed about luxury. 4) Have a simple diet and not  waste food. 5) Separate our waste and recycle. 6) Use electricity and water sparingly and use detergents carefully. 7) Don't use disposable products. 8) Control the use of heat and air conditioning. 9) Use the bicycle and public transportation more. 10) Reduce the emitting of methane gases.

International Marriages

A Religious Sister mentions, in her column on pastoral work, that we are all citizens of the world. In the past, when she was asked to write about her experiences, she always refused, feeling it was like making a public confession of her life. But she has relented and shares some of her experiences with us.

She has been in the work with migrants for the last eight years, she says. In the past, it was with the heart, but now it is mostly with the mind. She is not trying to fathom the workings of the migrant's inner feelings and desires, but is more interested in helping them get ahead in the business world. It is now my desire, she says, to help make the life of the migrants understandable to our citizens.

An important aspect in her approach is to deal with the conflicted feelings concerning international marriages. Compared to how it was viewed a few years ago, much as changed--for the good. It is now something that is accepted as natural, and she is asked by many of the Christians to introduce some foreign girls to their sons. She has little difficulty in doing this,  but it is another matter to have these marriages turn out healthy, and  the family developing happily.

Most people have heard stories of  international marriages in which the woman has abandoned her husband and family, left to find work in a factory to earn money, found a man from her own country, or has not been faithful. There are many such stories.

Because of these stories, many have qualms and fears about international marriages. Our increasingly closely knit world is likely to bring us more, not less, of these marriages. But there is no need to see this negatively; we need only open ourselves, without prejudice, to the different cultures of the world.

If we ask whether the poor women who come to Korea are of an inferior status, most will answer no. When we see  things that are strange, we should ask for an explanation. When we see something we don't understand, we should be tolerant and try to explain our own culture. At times, it is our feeling of superiority in dealing with the immigrants from the poorer countries that is the problem.

International marriages can be as happy, she insists, as any other marriage. It requires getting beyond the financial difficulties and seeing others with a more open and understanding heart. We are all citizens of the world, she is fond of repeating, and we all share its joys and its sorrows. This is not all that difficult. We have the example of Jesus, who had no prejudice and considered everyone equal. He is our teacher.

Loneliness in Life

Loneliness is a part of  life.  Jesus was lonely. In Luke's chapter 9 Jesus is rejected when he passes through Samaritan country. In John 9:58 we are told, "The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." 

When are we lonely? asks the columnist in his column on happiness in the Peace Weekly. When we are excluded, he says, by those we love, when as children we were abandoned by parents, when we are separated from someone we love, when Jesus was rejected by his beloved disciples on the day of his death--just a few instances of how we can be affected by loneliness.  

Second reason mentioned: when we have no one to help us, when there is a feeling of rejection by the whole world, and when we ask for help in a desperate situation and are refused.  

Third: the loneliness that comes when no one needs me, when I have given my resume to dozens of different companies but there is still no opportunity for work. And when refugees who have been removed from their homes have nowhere to go.  In these situations, we can't help but be lonely. 

Fourth: when we are not understood. Especially in families when we are not able to communicate, with families finding it difficult to sit together at meals and very often eating separately.

Fifth: the feeling of loneliness with the approach of death. Aging and the accompanying loss of youth and the problems of old age bring sadness.

Sixth: the loneliness that comes with sickness. Job is the prototype of this kind of loneliness, the kind that comes from a lack of personal concern for others. 

In Korea, we have many suicides, a serious disease with its possible root in loneliness. Our writer states that the reason for this is the lack of Christians living the life of faith with its positive message of love.  

Jesus came to us as the consoling one; we have not, he says, been living according to his example. 
Since we are all lonely we should know how to console, but because of hand phones, computers, the internet, and many other electronic devices we are now withdrawing from personal  contact more than ever. Isn't this the reason that Jesus asked us to love one another?

Overcoming Disabilities

A series of articles in Living with the Scriptures discuss what can be learned from the failures we experience in life. The first article is about Peter and Stephani, two young adults nearing the age of 40, with congenital cerebral palsy. Stephani, more seriously impaired, is not able to use her hands and feet.

Both gave up hope for marriage early on in life, but in May they were married in a Catholic Church in Seoul, with the  presence of many well wishers, and then went to the Philippines for their honeymoon.

Years ago Peter had asked a Religious Sister in his parish to introduce him to  a good woman. She introduced him to two women, one of whom was Stephani, who he fell in love with at first sight. This was not the case with Stephani. She had no desire for marriage; the possibility of friendship yes, but not marriage. On the day they met Peter only stayed briefly, said he was busy and left.

Shortly after, Peter called to explain himself and all went well. Thereafter he would meet Stephani in Seoul, where he worked fixing computers, whenever he had a chance, they would go out to eat and enjoy each others company. Although Peter in the past had no desire for marriage--feeling that life was just too difficult for him--he was impressed with Stephani's intelligence and sensitivity. He asked her to marry him.  

Stephani's  parents were adamantly opposed. Their daughter was not able to use her hands and was in no position to be a wife to anyone. She wasn't able to prepare meals and had even difficulty in eating. No husband would be able to live with this for long, even though Peter assured them that he would take care of the cooking.

It wasn't long before Stephani changed her mind about marriage and decided that she wanted to marry Peter; she asked her parish priest for help. He became the matchmaker with the two parents. He first went down country to the home of Stephani and convinced her parents, and then to Seoul to the home of Peter. Surprisingly, both families agreed and the marriage was on.

A  handicapped child are the parents  biggest suffering. Everybody in the family feels the pain. The handicapped  have the great difficulty of accepting their plight, and often reproach themselves, their parents and even God. Peter had tried to kill himself, and, though Stephani's spiritual life was strong, she also reproached God, which is not surprising.

As children they saw that their future was going to be difficult. Being the butt of jokes when growing up was the hardest to accept. Jesus' cross only lasted a short period of time but their agony continues for life. Peter also said that when Jesus was tortured by the Romans he even took pleasure in the thought, but he quickly realized that Jesus did  not reproach his torturers. 'Falling and getting up again," Peter said, has been their life from the beginning.

The article concludes with the words of another disabled couple, whose life was made into a documentary, Planet of Snail. The husband, who was both deaf and blind, said "I am closing my eyes to see the most valuable things. I am closing my ears to hear the most beautiful sounds. I am waiting in silence to speak the most truthful words."