Life can be seen as a succession of meetings, some favorable, preparing us for success in life, and some so unfavorable that life itself becomes unbearable.
Writing in the Catholic Digest a priest, principal of a high school, recalls a meeting with a student whose eyes, seemingly all white were the first things he noticed. Even though he knew the student had
received high praise from his teachers, there was no doubting that he was under a lot of stress. The priest asked very directly, What is the problem?
The student, Juni, answered without making much sense, going over the anxieties of the past, his present difficulties with his family and his mother, and his fears concerning the future. After listening intently, the priest was still not
able to get a coherent understanding of the problem. Juni began to
repeat himself, feeling a need to unload what was inside him, but not
able to find the right words to express what was bothering him. The
priest felt it was time to end the meeting and scheduled another. The
meetings continued for about two months before he fully understood what
the student was trying to explain.
Juni recalled his aunt praising him, during one of her visits to his house, for being a good son and student. His mother, who was present, said, "I can't say that. I don't trust him." From that moment on, he delved into his past, trying to find
out what his mother was talking about, and for a number of nights
couldn't sleep. The mother, seeing the change in her son, and paying no attention to what might have caused the change, brought him to the mental hospital, where he was given medicine that gave his eyes a strange look.
On the next meeting with the priest, Juni heard some unaccustomed words as the priest began the conversation by praising him, telling him he'd heard he was a good athlete, a good student, was getting a scholarship, and was good-looking besides. His response was similar to his mother's. "That's not true; I'm not that person."
"Why
do you think that?" the priest asked. "Are you being humble?" Juni did
not answer. The priest continued, "How is what you are now saying
different from what your mother said to your aunt?" It was then that the
priest saw for the first time the beginning of a smile on Juni's face.
For a child to live with enthusiasm and confidence is not difficult, the priest tells us. But our words can make it difficult, if they are not chosen wisely. The priest would like to see all parents and teachers--all of us--becoming more thoughtful and caring with our words, whether students are present or not, and wherever we are communicating with others.
As a high school principal familiar with students struggling with school work, he would like to hear more often words similar to what a mother might say to her son who is struggling with his studies, "Our
child doesn't do well in studies, but he has a good character and he
will do well in life." If children were to hear similar words of praise,
instead of the critical words that normally come unthinkingly to mind, how much better would our children think? asks the priest. And how much better would they live?
Asian Christians can develop their spirituality from two sources: the natural, found in Taoism,
Confucianism, and Buddhism; the other, the supernatural source, the teachings of Jesus
from revelation. This would give those writing about spiritual subjects in
the East, it would seem, an advantage over those in the West.
On
the spiritual page of the Catholic Times, the columnist dipping into his Korean heritage gives us some
helpful ideas on what a healthy spirituality should include. He tells us
if we want to rid ourselves of our worries, depression, feelings of
futility, and self-demeaning thoughts, he will give us the solution free of
charge, and easily accomplished by a
very simple one-time event that solves everything: openness, opening
ourselves to the mystery of formation, opening ourselves to God.
Life is full of different
happenings, some good and some not so good, the bad seemingly more present than the good. However, in all these cases,
if we are open to God, the problems will be solved. How? To see, speak, think correctly, with God at the center of our life, says the columnist, then our thoughts will change, bringing an enormous change in our lives. When this is not the case,
we are limited by the self-centered, prideful life we have created. To undo this, we have to be open to
do what God wants of us.
Those who have a self-centered
and egotistical disposition will find it difficult to change, for they
see everything as competition. Jesus gave us his personal example of what it
means to be open to God.
Many try to solve the problems they
face with the head, but it doesn't work. They try to reduce the 108
anxieties (The Buddhist understanding of the worries that afflict us) to
106 or 100, but the 108 continue to plague us, our desires continue to
grow, and the meaning of life continues to elude us.
Some
want to go with the flow, to enjoy life, earn money and enjoy the
company of those close to them, but all this is merely a search for a mirage, says the columnist, ultimately bringing us a feeling of emptiness; we remain hungry and thirsty. St.
Theresa saw attention as the keyword in growth in spirituality.
Attention to what God wants, not what I want. God
gives us the inspiration for the search and the joy that comes.
With
our bodies and the small space we occupy, filling this space is not difficult, but we need to be open to everything that happens in the larger space that surrounds us, which means being open to God, and open to all those small miracles of life that happen when we open ourselves enough to see them.
God
made us so reformation is always possible, in order to continue to grow. This is a great
mystery and we should open ourselves to that mystery. It will change our
bodies, our minds and our hearts. We will come to see the world differently, a world much better than the one we created with our limited perceptions.
There are many mysteries concerning married life and many suggestions on how to make marriage more successful.The obstacles couples are facing today are increasing, and society
does not make it any easier for couples and families to grow in love and to
strengthen the bonds of this most basic community in our society.
The columnist of Daily Life and Faith Life
in the Catholic Times speaks about his meeting with a couple, whose
relationship engenders both jealously and envy. Very impolitely, moved
by a gnawing curiosity, he asked, "You both are on your best
behavior before me, but when you get home, don't you fight?"
The
husband responded, "I would like to fight but my wife doesn't
cooperate, so there is no fight." The wife added, "He goes right
along with whatever I want, so fighting is not possible."
The
columnist said he failed to satisfy is curiosity with the first question and tried again, "Where does that love come from? Is it from your faith life?"
The
wife said, "Before we were married I wasn't much of a Christian. I
liked what I saw in him and decided to marry him. It was during our
honeymoon that I realized the kind of man he was. It was then that I gave him my complete trust."
"What is that all about?"
"Father,
on my wedding day I was all nerves, I just wanted to live a happy life.
At that time we decided to go to Chejudo, a favorite spot for honeymooners, it did take some sacrifice on our part but I dreamed of living with joy for two nights and three days.
When
we arrived at the hotel, the first thing my husband did was to go to
the telephone directory and started flipping through the pages. I asked what he
was doing. He said he was looking for the office numbers of the
churches near to the hotel. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to
know the time of Sunday Masses. Hearing that, all my
elation, my dreams of our time together, vanished. He threw cold water on
all that I had envisioned for the three days. The next day, while attending morning Mass, the thought came to me that if
he was that concerned about the God he couldn't see, he would be
concerned about me who he could see. On the plane back I made up my mind
to be committed to him."
The columnist reflects
on that rather insignificant act of the husband on his honeymoon that had such a profound impact on the wife, as if set in stone, never to be erased.
In the same way, the columnist believes that everything we do has an impact on our lives. That we are not aware of this fact is probably a blessing, but it doesn't mean the connection is
not there.
Bishop William McNaughton, 85, the
first bishop of the Incheon
diocese and the last foreign bishop in the Korean Church, was
interviewed in Rome after attending the outdoor Mass in St. Peter's
Square, which commemorated the start, 50 years earlier, of Vatican II.
The Peace Weekly, taken from CNS, reported his recollections of the council, noting that
he is one of 70 still alive of those who attended the council.
Speaking
about his first visit to Rome, the bishop said that because of
television he felt he was at the gate of heaven, seeing the basilica
with all the lights turned on. He attended every session except for two
because of illness. For him, the highlight of the council was the
approval of the Dogmatic Constitution of the Church, a magnificent
document that devotes a whole chapter to the "people of God." That term
is often interpreted as a reference to the laity, but a more careful
reading of the constitution makes it clear that it refers to everyone in
the Church: pope and bishops, as well as laity.
Bishop
McNaughton speaks with regret that there has been so much ignorance and
misunderstanding of the council documents. The Constitution of the
Sacred Liturgy, for instance, authorized moving the tabernacle to a
separate devotional chapel, he said, but many simply shunted the
Eucharist to the side of the main sanctuary. This is a reason, he
feels, there is not a full understanding of what the tabernacle means. The
document also called for fewer statues in churches, but some removed all
statues and put the Blessed Mother's statue out in a corridor or lobby.
Another example, he said, citing The Decree
on the Renewal of the Religious Life, was the directive that
urged religious women to
modify their habit according to circumstances of time and place and the
needs of the ministry. It did not say habits should be removed
because the habit is a "sign of consecration." All are obvious examples,
he said, that the documents were not being read, or not read closely
enough.
In the
interview, the bishop says the council must be understood in continuity
with the church's tradition and not as a radical break with the past.
"Look at the footnotes," he said. "There is a constant reference there
to the various ecumenical councils of the Church and to the fathers of
the Church. So it is a continuity."
The
bishop, accordingly, rejects arguments that the council was to blame for
the decline in Catholic observance and the rise of secularism over the
last century. "The council did not cause this, he said. It was the society we created that brought this change into our lives.
Our task now is winning
back the world, which is the aim of the new evangelization. However
unpromising the political landscape may appear for that project to succeed, Bishop McNaughton is ultimately hopeful that it will.
Baby boomers are now reaching retirement age, and what this means for
Korea is the topic of the View from the Ark column in the Catholic
Times. The columnist begins with a sijo (a short lyrical poem) a teacher gave him
on graduating from middle school: "In one hand a stick, in the other, thorns to beat and prevent the approach of old age, but no matter what is done,
the white hairs will come."
According to the census of 2010. our society is aging rapidly: 11 percent of the population is over 65; in 2018, it is predicted to be over 18
percent; in 2026, over 20 percent. One-fourth of those over 65, however, are still active in society; over half of them in some
religious capacity.
From a Catholic
perspective, the statistics show that more than 20 percent of Catholics are more than 60 years of age, and more than 19 percent are in their 50s. The Church is getting older quicker than
the larger society. The advance of the nuclear family and early
retirement means that the concern for the elderly will soon be a
societal problem. According to a survey made by the bureau of
statistics the concerns of those over 65 are money and
health.
The elderly also want more health examinations: 33
percent; nursing care: 29 percent; help with home chores, 16 percent; and help in finding a job, 8 percent. Consequently, the problems in the future, the columnist says, will be poverty, disease, loneliness, living alone, and difficulty in
finding work, which means the burden on society will increase.
The
setting sun gives us the beautiful twilight hours of the evening. And
at this time of year, autumn gives us the beautiful colors of falling
leaves. We come into the world with blessings, and after our formal education and
overcoming the vicissitudes of life, we too enter our twilight years. What will that mean for most of us?
The columnist
tells us the elders have much to teach the generations that will follow.
There is the wisdom of age: learning from poverty, lessons from life, and
asceticism. We all desire to live the happy life. Are
the elders in our society living the happy life?
Many have told us about the beauty of old age. St Augustine
tells us of his discovery of God, in his old age: "Late have I loved you, beauty so ancient and so new; late have I loved you! Lo, you were within, but I outside, seeking there for you; and upon the shapely things you have made I rushed headlong." St.
Francis de Sales tells us in the Introduction to the Devout Life that
we, like a pearl in a clam, should be a pearl of joy to the world.
The twilight years are the years during which we should have emptied ourselves of the
accidentals of life for its essentials and a trust in God. Living with
thanks, mellowness, humility, and love, we can rest finally in the enjoyment of the everlasting life we have received on our journey of pilgrimage to God.
Examining a few hairs of the head to predict the future of a child
and the parent's disposition to disease would make life a great deal
easier, a professor begins his article in the Catholic Times, Even if we did not start off with the best mental and physical equipment, we would be able to attain long life and success. All thanks to the genetic information now available. But is this really the case? the professor asks.
We all would like to know what the future holds for us. Isn't
this the reason one reads books on fortune telling, casts horoscopes, analyzes a person's face, and the like. The
advances made in genetic science has given hope to some, that with the study of
the genes we will be able to foresee the future, and by comparing and analyzing the gene map, we will come to know the
height, personality, capabilities and possibilities of disease.
All these possibilities, however, carry potential dangers. Muscular dystrophy, as well as 139 other genetic disorders can be predicted in the embryonic and fetus stage. The possibilities of treatment are minimal so most of the unhappiness results in abortions, which the present Child Health Law allows.
The DNA Act and the Punishment of Violence Act, enacted a few years ago, allow collecting DNA from suspects of habitual and heinous
crimes in order to diminish the number of these crimes. But the professor says these laws can be
misused, as they were recently, following a labor dispute and a controversial government policy. Those who used work strikes to make their points in labor disputes, and those who were demonstrating against the government were arrested, and the courts had no problem with allowing the collection of DNA from some of the striking workers and the anti-government demonstrators.
But they are not violent criminals, the writer points out, and should not be considered habitual offenders.
Collecting DNA
from an individual brands the person as a sick member of society, and discrimination against the person usually follows. He mentions that the eugenics movement of the United States tried to prevent bad genes from increasing in society. A great deal of money went
into the movement and a great many things were done that are embarrassing to
remember: limiting emigration and forcing sterilization. It was later realized that the genetic information does not determine a person's
ability or future.
He concludes the article with a
question: what is to be done with DNA testing? It's an important issue requiring serous thought. Hopefully, many will be part of the discussion.
Ideas on the meaning of spirituality--its role in the world and its place in our personal lives--have been hotly debated for centuries. Recently, a journalist for the Peace Weekly has given us her ideas on this important subject after reading the book, Art of Living, by the German Benedictine priest Anselm Grun. By discussing spirituality in a very practical manner, Grun lays out nine ways we can go about giving spirituality a more prominent place in our daily lives.
-accept ourselves as we are and not as we think we ought to be -make time for leisure and enjoying life
-find meaning in whatever we do
-maintain a deep relationship with others
-relate with friends
-practice the virtue of charity
-turn difficulties into opportunities
-continue to search for your dream
-live each moment.
We are asked to look for the ability and courage to live; only we can do that. Too
many of us are trying to escape from ourselves, from our discontent,
from guilt, from other people. We can't do it by running away from our conflicts, Grun says, and no one can do it for us, so we should resolve to face our problems bravely and come to a reconciliation. The first step in this reconciliation, he says, is to permit ourselves the time to face the situation.
Grun asks us, the journalist says, to
be conscious of time; it will show us the true meaning of death. When
death is always before our eyes, we will relate correctly with our work,
with material goods, and with those around us; it will be our way to peace. To live with the thought of death means to live in the present totally and with awareness, and come to appreciate life as a gift.
Grun advises that we also slow down the pace of our lives, in order to lessen the anxiety that develops from living a fast-paced life. Anxious people can't stop, wait, and take the time to look around before deciding on what to do next. Everything tends to be done quickly, without much thoughtful preparation. They live frantically, run around in circles, and fail to live well.
To
live well, to allow our spiritual nature to flourish, we have to have time for leisure; without it, we will not take full advantage of the life we have been given. Only those who have found this deep rhythmic spirituality in their lives are able to
live a fully meaningful life.
