Many are the reasons believers leave their religion. Secularization, a change in one's thinking, weariness with religion are all factors. The rapid changes in society and the gap in time to adapt are all involved.
A writer in Catholic News Here/Now who has made a study of the issue gives us the results made by the Catholic Times. He is not concerned with the theory but solely with the apathy shown by the answers given by the respondents. The survey was of 300 lapsed Catholics spread across the country.
The survey was made last year. He acknowledges that it is not a scientific study in the strict sense but gives us a good idea of the problems the Church faces.
The main reason expressed for leaving the community of faith was working for a livelihood and study 47.3%. No special reason 33.7%, religion lost its meaning 23.8%, the burden of confession 18.1%, misc. 12.7%, disappointed with the clergy and religious 9.5%, can't live the life 7.0 %, no intimate friends among the parishioners 6.7%, family tension because of religion 6.3%, Catholic teaching lacks reasonableness and conflict with Catholics both at 4.4%, all religions are the same 4.1%, Church's active participation in society not acceptable 2.2 %, money 1.3%, Church is too rich 1.0 %, converting to another religion, church not doing its job, baptized in army and doesn't believe, all 0.6 %.
The respondents were told to only select one of reasons on the list so other reason would also be factors in being tepid. They, for the most part, did not want to leave the community. However, although they were asked often to return to the community by the members, they had no intentions of returning. The average time of the respondents were a little over 9 years. The majority of those who left did have a lingering connection and a feeling of belonging to the group even though they left.
29.7 % even though they are not practicing considered themselves Catholic, while 36.6 % were fellow travelers who still sympathized with the church. 7.8 % were opposed while 3.3 % were greatly opposed to the church and what it represented.
The following away from the Church continues but fortunately, the alienation is not such that they turn completely against everything that they learned. There's no desire to return in most cases but the years as a practicing Catholic have changed the persons and they have retained a positive feeling towards the community to which they belonged.
A 78 year old grandmother was walking along a street. She caught the eye of a man on the other side who suddenly made a dash toward the woman with a piece of wood in his hand the kind used to support trees along the street. He hit the woman over the head.
After the woman fell to the ground the man brandishing the piece of wood continued walking as if nothing happened. At a crosswalk he spotted another younger woman and did the same.
This is not a scene from a movie but something that happened last year in Pusan. This man had no grudge or was not acting out of revenge; he knew neither of the victims. An article in the Kyeongyang magazine by a university psychology professor introduces the readers to the 'zombies' in our society.
He uses the word zombie, existences in our imagination which are not difficult to find in society, they live like the dead without consciousness. He connects them to crimes 'you don't talk about': crimes that have no reason, violence for violence sake. In his opinion the common element are persons who have desired work but have not found it and have been in that condition for some time.
Working is not only a means of supporting oneself and family but a way of interacting with society. We talk about going to work not only earning pay but interacting with those at the work place. Those without work are in financial difficulty but also lack the interaction of the workplace. We are social animals and one of our basic aspirations is to relate with others, for a person who needs and wants to work and doesn't have a job, this is a serious deprivation.
A person out of work feels mentally deprived of all his possessions and believes that society has ostracized him: a serious psychological shock. Members of society consider norms of society important. Those who feel excluded do not have that same feeling and the frustration that builds, often ends up with 'crimes you don't talk about'.
The so called 'zombies' are both victims and perpetrators. Lack of social concern is the making of 'zombies'. When we ignore the lack of work in society we are preparing the situation for more of these 'crimes you don't talk about'.
When you fall into difficult straits do you have family members or friends you can depend on? What are your response to a question of this type, asks the professor. Is it positive or negative? Korea has the weakest social support network in OECD.
The professor concludes the article with the statement that this situation is ripe for the making of 'zombies' and spreading the zombie virus. When the community bond disappears it's easy to become infected with the virus. Without help many will become 'zombies'. Efforts to increase the opportunities for work and strengthening the fiber of our communities will decrease the number of 'zombies' in society.
In Korea two and half million citizens are in some way disabled.
That's 5 percent of the population: one in every twenty.
Among the handicapped 10 percent were born with the handicap and the
other 90 percent acquired it after birth. 50 percent came with
sickness and the other 40 percent were due to accidents. This number
continues to grow.
An article in a diocesan bulletin
written by a handicapped person introduces the readers to a situation we
meet in every society. The care and rehabilitation of the handicap is a
big part of government welfare.
He mention the
government's efforts over many years to improve the lives of the
handicapped. Many laws promulgated to help the handicapped, but before
this we need the citizens' understanding free of prejudice and even more
important is the handicapped persons' need to free themselves
from an inferiority feeling and to attain a strong will to live a
full life.
The writer mentions his own history of
becoming a disabled person. Because of cancer he was operated on to
remove cancerous tissue and lost a great deal of his bone structure and for a period of 4 years was in and out of the hospital 30 times. He
began associating with the handicapped and ended up giving lectures on
the board game Go and teaching ping pong.
He concludes
his article with the words of Jesus in the Gospel of John: 9:1-3. "As
Jesus went along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. His
disciples asked him, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, for him
to have been born blind? Neither he nor his parents sinned. Jesus
answered, he was born blind so that the works of God might be displayed
in him."
He often meditated on this passage in the
past but never was able to get a satisfying understanding of the
meaning. It was after becoming disabled himself that he was able to have
a faint glimmer of what Jesus was saying. He was crying and laughing with the disabled and relating as friends
with them. He was their hands, and feet. Wasn't this what Jesus was
saying?
The handicapped need financial assistance but
more important is to be friends with them: liberating them from alienation and loneliness of life. They need others to share with then and to be friends with them.
When
it rains it's necessary to prepare the umbrella for them but to
foolishly walk with them in the rain is an important message and welcomed.
Often words used leave impressions that are beyond the intentions of the speaker. Extremely difficult to qualify all that we say so the words say what we mean. A priest working in spiritual counseling in the Seoul diocese has written a book: "Live And Take Care of Yourself" which was reviewed in the Catholic press.
"We often hear that our Catholics are very kind and more concerned about others than of themselves, the good child complex. However, a healthy mental outlook and living in peace with others requires concern for ourselves."
In the Church, we hear a lot about sacrifice and working for others. Many of our saints have lived this kind of life. The writer of this book makes clear that he wants his readers to be concerned also for themselves if they are to go out to others.
Self-interest has a bad reputation within the Church and brings to mind some very bad images. In psychology, self-interest is a natural trait that we all possess. We need to have the proper balance between altruism and self-interest.
Jesus wants everybody no matter what situation they find themselves in to be happy. What makes this difficult is the attitude which we have in facing our problems. For the most part we don't know what is inside bothering us. Our parents, school, the wrong education we have received, the faulty ways we have formed our consciences and virtues and even the way we have accepted religious truths, confines us. We need to ask in prayer for release from the prisons we have made. When we find it difficult we make this known and when we are sick we say we are sick and we work from there to change the situation as best we can.
When we hear the word help, it is others that first come to mind but we need also to take care of ourselves. When we think only of the other we are prone to the 'good child complex' and often this militates against having a good relationship with others.
When we feel uncomfortable inside we should not see this as something negative but a voice telling us to do something to remedy the situation. This requires a good relationship with ourselves. When things are not right inside and we don't work to heal the scars they only get worse and our personalities become barriers to good relationships. This is what the writer means by self-interest.
We as Christians dream of sacrificing and offering everything up to God but the ones who arrive at this are few. Most of us living in peace with ourselves and with others is living well.
Criticism and contempt are two attitudes that destroy peace in the
family. A diocesan member of the pastoral work with families writes in
the Kyeongyang magazine of the harm done with these two attitudes.
He
gives examples of criticism and contempt and asks the readers which does the most harm.
He makes clear that the difference is enormous. Contempt once begun
doesn't end. When expressed it doesn't only destroy the relationship but
it affects the health of those who are the object of the contempt.
Children
who are the object of contempt not only suffer harm to their
self-confidence but often becomes the cause of sickness. " A soothing tongue
is a tree of life, but a perverse one crushes the spirit" (Proverbs
15:4).
Contempt in the dictionary is defined as looking
down on someone, the act of despising another. Often we have the use of
abusive and obscene language. To show how bad this is he asks his
readers to take a plastic bag and give vent to all kinds of abusive
language for about 10 minutes and then put a mosquito you have just
caught in the bag it will quickly die. He gives another example of the
saliva that is found in the bag filled with toxins, when
injected into an artery of an experimental mouse, dies.
Contempt
expressed even in jest can be serious. It is like throwing stones at a
frog for fun but for the frog it is not a fun situation. When a person
has a positive outlook on life he is able to accept a great deal but
with a negative attitude one is easily scared. A jest can quickly turn into a dagger.
He recommends to the readers to look for
the good qualities of others. There is no one who has only strong
points and no one has only weak points. We have a tendency to see
the bad and ignore the good. This attitude is called the negativity
effect (we tend to give more attention to the negative than to the
positive).
He concludes the articles by advising that a
good way to heal the habit of contempt in the family is to make a list
of 50 strong points of each member of the family and place them where they can be seen. This is one of the techniques that
help in becoming more positive.
"Anxiety in a man's heart depresses it, but a kindly word makes it glad" (Proverbs 12:25). In
a word: to heal the wound of contempt is a kind word. "I am sorry,
thank you, I love you...." Words we hear often but use rarely.
Korean citizens for a period of 6 months with candle light processions were asking for a change. To whom did the nation belong? Our political leaders were selected by the people to run the country but the impression given was not what the citizens expected. The result was the people regained sovereignty of the nation and removed the president. The head of the committee in a diocese working with the poor begins his article in With Bible magazine with the above words.
What the Christians were asking was not greatly different from what many of the citizens desired in politics, economy, culture and society.
First of all a country without discrimination. Some are known and some are unconscious. Divisions make for discrimination. Separation of labor and management, male and female, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, those who live in Seoul and those in the country, believers and non-believers, conservatives and liberals, the healthy and the sick, young and old, married and single, the charming and the unadaptable.
This makes for conflict and division. We all dream of a nation where all are respected, all treated fairly before the law. The high and the low all treated the same. The way parents comfort their children, that is why we call our country our homeland.
Secondly, we want a land free from danger. Families of the victims of the Sewol tragedy were the center of the processions. If it was only their pain and the injustice they experienced they would not have been at the center. It was not their personal hurt but the corruption, injustices, and irregularities in society and not their personal desire for compensation. They didn't want this kind of tragedy to happen again. The reason that safety took a back seat was the value placed on time, money, comfortableness. In other words, it was financial interests, efficiency, and the easy way, that came before the value of life.
Thirdly, we need a level playing field for all the citizens to benefit. When only certain levels in society benefit we have problems. Those who are the weakest need support and concern. When we give 'one' to the strong and 'one' to the weak this is an injustice for the strong will gain more and the weak will lose what they have. The principle of equal opportunity needs to be operative where the strong remain strong and the weak are helped. When all are considered citizens and given opportunities to live the good life, we have a healthy society.
He mentions 12 principles for reform that Pope Francis recommends for the Vatican government: individual responsibility, pastoral concern, a missionary spirit, clear organization, improved functioning, modernization, sobriety, subsidiarity, working together, catholicity, professionalism, gradualism.
He concludes the article with a quote from first Cor. 9:22~ "To become all things to all men."What kind of country do we want to live in? It was the same yesterday, today and will be tomorrow. The country that God wants us to have is what people desire.
When we meet a blind person we naturally feel empathy for the person but rarely consider what that would mean to us if we were blind. How are they able to live without sight is even difficult to imagine.
A professor emeritus in the science department, who still is active in many different positions writes in the Kyeongyang magazine about an experiment he had with six teachers of science. He wondered how difficult it must be to teach the blind students a course in science. He wanted the teachers to experience the blindness of the students even for a short period of time.
He made a dark room and selected 6 volunteer teachers in science who were willing to participate. In the dark room, he had the numbers on the wall in relief that would direct the teachers to their seats. The instructor would give directions once they entered the room and they would go to the table with the experimental equipment laid out before them.
They were not given any help in what to expect in the darkroom. They were allowed to talk with one another and by trial and error method to arrive at results. The first experiment was with a model of an eye. They thought at first it may be a terrestrial globe but one of the participants suggested it may be a model of an eye. They agreed and succeeded in dismantling the model. Since most of them had worked with such a model and had taught it in class, he asks, would that have been possible if they hadn't experienced the model of the eye previously?
The second was a model of the molecular structure of ice. In our textbooks rarely would one see the molecular structure of ice and little is studied on the subject, consequently no one was able to make heads or tails of the model before them.
The lights were turned on and they were asked what did they learn from the experience. First of all, it was the first time they had such an experience. It was the first time in the lives of many of the group that they had such a feeling of helplessness and were humbled. They felt for the first time how grateful they were for the sense of sight to see the beautiful world in which we live. As teachers for the blind, they thought they knew what the students faced in their learning environment but they agreed they did not understand.
They felt closer to the students they were teaching and understood their difficulties. All the teachers learned a great deal from the darkroom time. He feels this kind of time in a dark room would be a great learning experience for many.
Why did God put us on the earth to die? The professor wonders if this is not to experience what the teachers did in the dark room. God wanted us to experience helplessness and see our faults, dwell on his mercy and come to an appreciation of the meaning of life.
