What we dislike in others we dislike in ourselves and when we recognize this in ourselves the shock is great but our eyes are opened. A priest writing in the Catholic Digest tells his readers how this happened in his life.
His father was a diabetic and exteriorly looked healthy but the writer only remembers him lying in bed. He was bothered by his father's inability to get up and live a natural life. Was it from that time on he doesn't know but he always had a strong dislike for laziness. In his thinking, persons who wanted could do anything they set their mind to do.
His own life was busy with many things and he felt good about the life he was leading. He was busy with pastoral work, working with musical groups and with radio and saw no problems.
Last year, however, he was told on a visit to the hospital that he had to rest. He was diagnosed with hormonal imbalance. He was tired and his emotions were affected he was burnt out. His immunity was not functioning and looking at him nothing seemed out of order but even a few steps would tire him and he had to take a period of recuperation.
As soon as he began the whole body began to ache and he had to go to bed. For some time that was the only relief that he had. He even didn't want to get up to eat. When he decided to do some exercising it would last only for a few minutes before he was overcome with fatigue. His father's situation came back to him, people like his father are not lazy they are sick. It was at this time that he began to go back in time and remind himself of the way his father would interact with him. He was always kind in his dealings with him not once does he remember his father losing his temper. He remembered his father taking him out to the ball field to play. Just as he was beginning to enjoy the play after about 30 minutes the father wanted to return to the house and he remembers hating his father for stopping the fun. And now he found it difficult to exercise for 10 minutes. His father wasn't lazy but a father who loved his son and tried to overcome his body to be with his son.
A few days earlier he receive a telephone call from a young man who everything he tried had failed and called him to complain. If this had happened in the past he would have told the young man give it all you have, it will be all right, but mentally he would think that he was just lazy. However this time he listened carefully to the young man and responded differently: "You have really worked hard. You have really tried to overcome your difficulties. Take a rest and try again" his tone had changed. The young man thanked him for the consoling words. He put the telephone down and started to cry remembering the times he could have been more understanding of his father.
He resolved to respond to complaints he hears in the future in a different way from the past and understand the person who is speaking and his or her feelings and give them strength and encouragement. He had learned an important lesson. Isn't this a good way to begin our new Year?
How does one form one's values on sex? In the past, it was easy to say from our reading. This was true when our culture was based on the printed word but is that true in our present society? Books and the written word no longer have the influence they once had after the appearance of TV, Internet, and Smartphones. We are in video culture and formed by it. The Catholic Peace Weekly has an article by an authority in the field who introduces the readers to a new way of seeing the issue.
What we pick up from the printed word is of a different order than what comes through a picture. Books bring to us the classical world of the humanities; video culture: movies, drama, musical videos, advertising, pornography is a medium that overwhelms. They introduce us to another way of seeing reality.
We all have experienced scenes from movies and TV dramas that remain with us and we even remember the dialogue. If you ask college women what is their ideal place to receive your first kiss 70% of them will answer under a street light as the snow descends and about half of the males will say in an alleyway or in a car. Why is there such a similarity in the responses? It's because that is what they have been exposed to in the visual media.
In movies and dramas, we see romantic love relationships repeatedly. What is understood by the young people is that it's very natural to have sex. In jest when they go on a trip together they will say they are on an MT, membership training trip, meaning that they will end up at a motel for the evening. Dating means sex.
Do the young people only learn from movies and drama? Korea has the world's fastest connection speeds to the internet and is unrestricted. Korea is per capita the biggest user of pornography and a producer of pornography. Attributed greatly to the efficiency of the internet connection and wifi capabilities of the Korean cyberspace. The viewing of pornography according to the writer among the young is the highest in the world. Which is a sign that the future descent into sexual freedom will increase.
In Korea if within a month the couple have a sexual relation they will continue together or else you have problems and breakup. This is not only true with the college-aged youth but even starting in middle school. In Korea, sex education in schools is mostly absent: condoms is the way they treat the problem.
Age for the first experience of sex continues to drop. In 2014 in an internet survey it was as low as 12 years-old. This is only surmised but he says our sex openness is further ahead than Europe or the United States. Even compared to a country like the Netherlands where the age was 18 and older. Does this not warrant concern for programs in our schools and societal interest with the issue?
The
voices shouting for equality are abundant, equality of men and women is
at its height and when it comes to drinking alcoholic beverages there
is no exception. Compared to the past we have an atmosphere that
encourages women to drink more than ever before. Women appear in
advertising frequently with mild soju (Korean vodka) suggesting that
drinking is not the exclusive right of men. Women have become marketing
targets for the alcohol industry says an alcoholic medical center chief
in an article in the Catholic Times.
Alcohol
does not treat men and women both equally. When women abuse alcohol
her health both physical and mental is impaired much quicker than men.
Progress to addiction is also noticeably faster. Many are the wives and
mothers who fall into this quagmire.
Different
than the treatment a man gets: a devoted wife staying by the side of
her husband suffering from the husband's drunkenness and violence and
helping in the recovery. Society shows little sympathy towards women
even when they have made efforts to end their addiction. Prejudice sees
their situation as a moral depravity, a loss of a women's status.
One
of the most common diseases of women is the disorder from the use of
alcohol and it's hard to know why treatment for the sick person is so
difficult. She is often ignored and the object of stone-throwing when
the suffering is not necessarily her fault.
Nonetheless,
if you look closely at those who are treated as alcoholics you realize
that miracles are many. You see hopelessness change to hope and see the
miracle of healing. It is impressive to see the changes take place.
When
treating withdrawal symptoms, taking the right medication, healing the
wounds of the mind, one realizes their world deceived them. Desperation
brought about by alcohol and the anger directed to others gradually
disappears. In the process of recovery, anger towards the family can be
sublimated to the comfort and help of each other.
Recently
there are hospitals that provide women with specialized treatment and
rehabilitation programs. In an open environment, women can be treated
with respect and dignity. There are programs for women who find it
difficult to return home as well as counseling programs for families.The
disease of female alcoholism has been established and the way of
recovery exists. The false comfort of alcohol needs to be discarded and
genuine healing and spiritual recovery attained.
"Pleasure Christmas" a priest writer in the Kyeongyang magazine begins his article on Christmas joy with these words he saw on a pilgrimage to Macao. The word 'Merry' of the Christmas greeting was translated as 'Pleasure' in Chinese. Something he had forgotten came back to him. Is Christmas really a time of Joy?
When he reflects on Christmas he realizes that for many it's the season of Christmas that brings joy and not Christmas itself. It's a holiday, a day free from work, and we have the festive signs along the streets, trees glittering with decorations, carols sung and year-end eating and drinking occasions: not the entrance of Jesus on the world stage.
Why doesn't Christmas gives us great joy? Why doesn't Jesus' coming into the world leave us with strong feelings? May it not be that we do not experience his saving presence? We don't see his saving works in the world we live. Even at the time of Christ the world did not change, one sees the death on the cross as we gaze on the crib. The shepherd did not become rich nor did the angels begin a fight against emperor Augustus.
2000 years later we see no reversal from what we have seen. Shepherds are still poor, many have to work while others sleep.The Augustuses of the world are still strong they are still comfortable and partake of the goods of others, eat and live well. The law is on their side. Rich, developed, welfare countries are many and yet the place of the poor is still difficult. Conditions are still the same what reason is there to celebrate? What are we saved from?
What is salvation? (Scripture uses the word "salvation" mainly in the sense of liberation of humanity or of the individual from sin and its consequences). We tend to think that the almighty God will take away all our difficulties. Just like the superhero does in the movies.That is not what we see in the Scriptures. We are told that the savior of the world is lying in a manger. This is the sign of the savior. Why so?
God did not want to save us with his strength. He doesn't want us to be passive onlookers but cooperators in his work. We are to be the subjects of salvation. He has given us a little spark of fire to continue his work. Jesus didn't want to set the world afire on his own but with the little sparks he has given us. These sparks we keep alive, we need to protect them from the strong winds with our bodies, and set the world afire with their light. By doing this we are also saved.
As Christians, our task is to take on the mind of Jesus that was present in the crib. This would make the world warmer filled with more joy. Our task is to help the weak live more human and holy lives: this is saving and being saved.
This is the way Jesus saves. This is the way we will understand and have the joy of Christmas in our lives."I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people... and here is a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger" (Luke 2: 20-12).
The Catholic Times' View from the Ark gives the readers a meditation on waiting by a seminary professor viewing the Advent wreath in front of the altar. Christmas is not far away and as he looks back over the past he doesn't see the good results of his efforts as much as the regret and self-reproach for the things not done.
Waiting is the language of hope but often hidden within is despair. The things for which he hopes often turn to despair. Khali Gibran in his book the Prophet has told us that happiness and sadness are often two sides of the same coin. When joyous, looking deep into our hearts we find that which gave us sorrow also gives us joy. When sorrowful we often weep for what was our delight.
Peace and freedom we desire is full of unfortunate contingencies, and we wait in the midst of anxiety and hope. It's because of hope that we can wait. But at the same time at the end of the waiting often comes frustrations, failures, discouragements which we have learned to expect. I might be afraid of losing my job, suddenly getting cancer, the approach of death. Poverty brought about by economic polarization, depression, loneliness by the breakup of families and human relations, talk of war, political corruption and dishonesty. These problems are with us this year as in the past.
Jesus came 2000 years ago but we don't have big changes. He lived here on earth and proclaimed Emanuel, God is with us. Jerusalem, the Holy Land, in conflict, a gunpowder storage house waiting to explode. But we still wait for Christmas.
We no longer hear the Christmas carols as we once did. Christmas is coldly manipulated as a time to consume but we wait for a warm Christmas.
Christians don't wait for gorgeous trees and decorated cribs but rather, despite the depressing situation of humankind, we believe that God will not forsake us. The suffering of the cross lives in our hearts as we wait for the victory of Jesus when he comes again to proclaim the victory over sin and death.
The second coming of Jesus is not the fearful future of the apocalyptists but the hope we have of the kingdom here and now that we proclaim in the smile and touch of the small people of the earth who seek light in darkness, hope in despair and joy in sorrow. We hope to experience now the future joy of God's life.
We wait for a secure future with trepidation. Christians can't help but believe in the simple truth that darkness can not win over light; during this Advent it is the faith of the Christians to believe in waiting with hope.
"Wild animals and birds, reptiles and fish can all be tamed by man and often are; but nobody can tame the tongue-it is a pest that will not keep still, full of deadly poison" (James 3:7). A columnist in the Catholic Times reminds us of the problems we have with the tongue.
Many times we use the tongue to utter empty words: "Let's eat together one of these days." This is one of the frequent empty phrases used in Korea. The columnist recalls the many times she has used these words with others. She resolved to use the words with those with whom she truly would like to eat with in the future.
When we borrow money from the bank we incur a debt and we have to repay, the same is true of the words we utter they are a debt we make to others. Sometimes we speak out without much thought and when we do so we often hurt the other.
We need to be careful in what we say but equally in what we hear. At times what we say frivolously is not taken frivolously. And when we agree to something and no response is evident it's like a messenger you send out who never returns. When this happens trust is lost. Words are often the measure of trust between persons.
When people meet together there is always going to be gossip. Pope Francis said that if one doesn't participate in gossip they are saints. When we are present in such circumstances we are giving support and often feel uncomfortable. Especially when there has been little contact with the person talked about; gossip leaves an aftertaste which is not good since we are told to love the other.
She mentions the words of a Saint who recommended few words for those who love Jesus and patience in all things. And no need to give your opinion until asked.
Often we speak about a person's faults without reason, we bicker, nag, show off, break confidences, dominate the conversation and participate in salacious talk and jokes. If we were to go deep into our conversations we find bad examples, excusing ourselves and fail to be transparent when we should be, idle talk and meddling in the affairs of others, and many other ways that we abuse the use of the tongue.
"So is the tongue only a tiny part of the body, but it can set fire to a huge forest; the tongue is a flame like that. Among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a whole wicked world in itself; it infects the whole body; catching fire itself from hell, it sets fire to the whole wheel of creation"(James 3: 5).
In a bulletin for priests a retired priest reminisces on his life and two classmates. One classmate lived in a neighboring diocese and was involved in farming until his retirement. He was a leader in the movement for farmers and seeing the breakdown of farm life, sadness entered his life.
The other classmate was a rector of a technical school and involved in education for many years until retirement. Both of these men from their time in the seminary were close friends. During the military control of the government, they both spent short periods of time in prison.
Up to his middle fifties, the educator often visited his priest farmer friend in the country. One of them was living with the upper middle class and the other with the poor farmers. The way they looked at life began to change. In the beginning, their views of society were similar but with the passage of time, they began to diverge in the way they saw the political world and they began to clash. One evening while eating they quarreled and the friendship ended.
They both were zealous in their way of life,no one can say who was right or wrong.The way of life they lived separated them from one another. It was no special problem they had but only the way they looked at life made conversation difficult for both of them and they didn't meet anymore. They both had heart problems and died at the age 72, both died within a year of each other.
Their many years of close friendship and prayers were not able to keep them in their friendship. A sign that the way we live is going to influence the way we see life and make judgments. Karl Marx, said something similar in his writing: "It is not our thoughts that change us but the places where we live changes us." Another saying the priest quotes: "Employer and worker have little to talk about."
One bishop who went from Seoul to the country changed greatly. Living with the poor made him see things differently and take an interest in their issues. Once asked what made him change he answered that it was the people with whom he talked and ate that changed him.
We learn a great deal from our studies and what we read but these thoughts usually stay in our heads and hearts. To have these thoughts take flesh in our action is another big step which is not often made. We fool ourselves into thinking that these high values and ideals, make us different which can be another form of pride.
In his later years the writer's meeting with people has diminished and it is now mostly theory that he is living with. The kind of encounter present is not the deep kind, it's a business kind of contact not dialogue about joys and suffering. He lives among many but alone.
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