Trauma is a word we hear often. Traumatized, traumatization, traumatic all forms of a word that originally intended to mean a wound on the outside of the body, an external injury but now often used to indicate a psychological shock, wound of the heart and soul caused by some horrible experience.
A diocesan bulletin reminds the readers of the physical, emotional and spiritual wounds that we are exposed to in our lives. In Korea where we have serious accidents happening and leaving many people with scars that take time to heal. Trauma is a word we use frequently. Incidents that cause trauma are diverse: natural disasters (floods, and earthquakes), war, fire, physical assault, torture, sexual assault, automobile accidents etc. Trauma often causes mental symptoms: anxiety, phobias, depression, alcohol and drug dependence, but fortunately, most of it disappears over time.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a condition that may follow some horrible event, experiencing, or witnessing it. It is a long-lasting post-traumatic stress disorder and may need professional help. The Korean Neuropsychiatric Association recommends those who have been traumatized communicate with others, talk about their emotions, rest, do not rely on alcohol, harmful medicines and take care of their bodies and minds.
Pain is normal and to use all the natural means available to find peace is the search for healing. This has always been a part of our society. However, it is true that many who go through horrible experiences are able to go on with their lives without serious problems: shown to be true for certain nations who have experienced war but without the PTSD.
In the Bible, we have examples of those who have been traumatized: Saul traumatized others but was himself traumatized by the many atrocities he experienced and caused. We are often told the spirit of God left him. David the warrior king also experienced many horrible things and was not left untouched. St. Ignatius of Loyola may very well have experienced PTSD from his experience of war. We are all possible victims of PTSD.
Spirituality is the way of seeing life that acknowledges God presence here and now. His love accepted and responded to makes all the difference. God always makes the first steps towards us and not us to God. This is a truth often forgotten or not understood. Some believe we are not necessarily programmed to be unwilling victims. In the past, we often heard what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Certainly true if one believes in God and has a mature spirituality. Growth can be a result of the stress if we believe in its possibility.
In the Eye of the Believer's column of the Catholic Times, a lawyer asks the readers since I bought some land on which a magnolia tree grows, does the tree belong to me?
He begins the article reminiscing about his childhood of 50 years ago. Everyone who lived in a two-story house was rich. He had kimchi, small fish and tempura side dishes, but the friend from the two-story house had a sausage in his lunch box. Even though we were not rich all the houses had a little flower garden that bloomed with their seasonal flowers.
At in the evening we would go to the alley and play hide and seek, tag, and sing. Compared to the average income of those days we have increased it hundreds of times. The alley playground, the flower gardens, and the singing have all disappeared. Instead of the flower garden, we wanted to extend the house, and instead of singing myself I go to watch the singing and dancing of others.This is all because of money. Capitalism has eaten away at the flower beds, the songs, and the games.
A discussion is in full swing to revise the constitution. What has that to do with me? Many have these thoughts running through their heads. In Korean, we hear often a person is such that he can live without laws. Yes, there are many such people. Law does not only deal, however, with criminal offenses but also helps us to live a fuller life. Law determines a great deal of the way we live.
When you make a law to redevelop the neighborhood the benefits should go to all the inhabitants who pay the taxes. Whether the minimum wage is 5,000 won or 10,000 won the concern of the workers and the employers are different. Whether large co-operations will be able to make a fish cake or tofu and sell them and regulations of store hours for department stores, means a great deal to the merchants within that community.
The constitution is the basis for the laws of the country that coordinates the many interests of the people. The Constitution is our life and needed to protect all the citizens. One of the disputed points is the possession of land: those who hold for the absolute ownership of land. In Korea up until the Chosen dynasty land was own by the country. This is the way it is in China we build on the land and have the right to its use, to live and build on it.
The Second Vatican Council section 69 of the Pastoral Constitution answers: "God intended the earth and all that it contains for the use of every human being and people. Thus, as all men follow justice and unite in charity, created goods should abound for them on a reasonable basis." Also, we have in the same paragraph: "In using them, therefore, a man should regard his lawful possessions not merely as his own but also as common property in the sense that they should accrue to the benefit of not only himself but of others."
This kind of talk is often hard to accept and this is also true of Christians. This land and its magnificence, registered in my name, is mine within the limits of the common good. We should be happy to see a change that will benefit everyone.
A proud person doesn't know he is proud and in most cases doesn't care, consequently, no reason to seek a cure. A seminary professor in the Kyeongyang magazine says in his article, this person is difficult to help. One needs to have an understanding of what pride is for results.
A close connection exists between the degree of understanding we have of the influence of pride on behavior and the efforts to overcome the problem. Knowing how pride shows itself and its cost are beneficial in overcoming the habit. When we determine that the cost of pride is greater than the benefits the motivation to overcome the habit is present.
The external effects of pride:neglect,vanity, boasting, lying and the like are the negatives; seeking support and recognition, overcoming a sense of inferiority and gaining confidence are all goods that may be achieved by other means.
A feeling of inferiority is not always a bad thing. Alfred Alder the Austrian psychiatrist stressed that the reason for the many success stories in life comes from a feeling of inferiority, it's a great motivator. Pride comes from little understanding of the self; many misunderstand the ideal self for the real self.
Psychology does present us with ways to understand the self. First, in counseling or psychological testing. Secondly, new activities, interests, and initiating new encounters with others. Thomas Aquinas is quoted as saying beware of the person with one book. He thinks he knows it all and is more dangerous than those who don't read. It is good to read within your area of interest but also to approach other special areas to realize that our interests are narrow. Thirdly, we need the time for introspection. What have today's incidents, encounters and available time taught us? What knowledge have we added to what we know?
Confession is an opportunity to see ourselves as we are objectively.We gaze upon ourselves in the presence of God but also at the same time with the mercy and love of God.
J. Taylor the Anglican Bishop said that humility is not something easily understood outside of Christianity. Knowing oneself contains what is meant by humility. It is the cure for pride and the results of knowing oneself. However, it is not a passive or unconditional lowering ourselves by duress.
Easily do we confuse true and false humility. False humility is influenced by the inferiority complex while true humility is not. False humility develops from a low respect for the self, a true humility comes from a healthy self-respect and courage.
True humility can accept criticism and doesn't put others down, nor blame others for what they lack. A truly humble person knows oneself in the presence of God.
"Don't be a nuisance to others," words addressed to the young Japanese children by their parents. Unfortunately, in
Korea, we have an increase of 'no kids zone' —places that parents need not discipline their children. If children are allowed to follow
their bliss will they as adults be
free and happy? Is this the way to authentic freedom and happiness? An
article in the Catholic Weekly introduces this question by a priest
college professor.
In
modern society, individual freedom and rights are becoming more and
more important than traditional values and practices. The
World Value Survey from the late 1990s shows that Korean parents
are more concerned with autonomy of the child: self determination
according to individual standards but for the professor, autonomy
implies morality, principles and norms. Individualism that lacks
morality will have a negative impact on the human community.
Individualism is spreading in a culture that pursues survival because of
the uncertainty and the pressures of a rapidly changing international
situation and a financial recession.
In
a capitalist society, freedom allows one to enjoy life in proportion to
the amount of money one possesses. From a Christian point of view,
freedom gives direction and purpose to life. In other words the
question in Christian freedom: freedom from— and freedom to—. Freedom
is for what?
In
Korean society, Confucian hierarchy and status coexists within a
patriarchal culture; unreasonable and narrowness of outlook are
widespread. Resistance to repressive 'external authority' is a
sign of today's age. We Christians should read these signs, protect the
freedoms and rights of the underprivileged, and respect individuals as
personalities that are part of the living organism, not appendages.
On
the other hand, humans need deep prayer, reflection, and deeds to free us from disorderly desires that can dominate us. Even
though we may appear to be free on the surface we may be slaves of
unconscious desires. We
are all sinners who are easily trapped in a self-centered life
(individualism), but are invited to the journey of conversion and
rebirth in God's mercy and grace. Furthermore,
we need greater freedom to move towards happiness
that leads to "loving God and loving our
neighbors," without permitting the consumer
society to control us.
Resurrection is the invitation of the living Lord who wants our lives to be truly full. The message of the Resurrection presents us with a way of life. In the paschal journey we die to ourselves so we can grow as
Christians, a pilgrimage that goes beyond individualism to true
freedom and happiness.
The priest professor finishes the article mentioning the book With God in Russia a
memoir by Walter Ciszek (1904—1984) an American Jesuit priest. With
all the trials and suffering he endured he testifies that he had an
indescribable peace and happiness from God when all his strength was
crushed during his years in prison. Our wills, self-love, and
attachments make it difficult to receive the fruit of happiness but the more efforts to please God the greater our love and graces of freedom and true happiness. St. Augustine said: "Love
and do what you want."
In the past 12 months, 20.3% of the boys and 30.3% of the girls have
been saddened or dejected enough to stop their daily lives for a period
of two weeks. 9.4% of boys and 15.0% of girls thought seriously of
suicide. These words begin an article in the Catholic Times reviewing a
survey made over the past year of our young people by the Korean Disease
Control and Prevention Agency conducted on 60,000 middle and high
school students nationwide.
Depression that predominantly
appeared in adults in the past now also occurs in children and
adolescents.This is especially true in April and May after the start of
the new semester because they can't adjust to the new school
environment. Stress increases because of study or bullying.
Depression
also called the 'cold of the mind' is a chronic illness of all
generations in the modern world. In adolescents, it is easy to overlook
their symptoms because of puberty. They need special attention as it can
lead to suicide if the cognitive development does not proceed and the
depression not treated.
Experts say that adolescent
depression has multiple causes: family history, school, friends, social
culture and economic situation and developmental problems. Many
symptoms are not understood and not recognized as depression. It's
important to understand the psychological state of the young people and
to look at their behavior.
When a child says " I don't want
to go to school," most parents just take this as ordinary child's talk
and take little notice of the malaise the child feels. They need to
concern themselves with the change of behavior at this time.
A
Salesian priest in his doctrinal dissertation identified the mutual
relationship between stress, spirituality and life satisfaction in
institutional youth. He stressed that spirituality or religion affects
the stress and depression of adolescents. The greater the spirituality
of the young the less the depression and stress. The young people should
be helped to meet with others and to resolve their desires with sharing and
activities. In his doctoral dissertation, he also identified the mutual
relationship between stress, spirituality, and life satisfaction in
children in student establishments.
Mild symptoms of depression may be
resolved by parental care but counseling and medication may be needed in
serious situations. There are many counseling centers available that
provide help with family conflict, problems with friendship,
interruption of schooling, runaways, internet addiction, career and
academic problems. The internet is a valuable asset if you press '1388' you can consult at any time.
Korea has recently had some serious accidents with the loss of many lives not unique in world news. We are all prone to accidents as we go along with our lives. How did this happen? Why me? Why this great loss? Questions we ask ourselves and desire answers.
In a diocesan bulletin, a priest reminisces on the big and small accidents happening all around us and introduces the readers to the Heinrich Law a statistical rule: 1: 29: 300. From the data that Heinrich studied he proposed that for every major injury there are 29 minor ones and 300 accidents with no injury. More than an exact study he was giving us a rule of thumb that for every serious accident we are preparing for it by 29 minor accidents and 300 mistakes that do not cause problems but could have.
Herbert Heinrich was an engineer who worked for an insurance company and taught at a university who made a study of industrial accidents and proposed his rule. There is a relationship between the number of accidents of a similar type and their severity. Reducing the most common incidents we can call unsafe acts, reduces the frequency of minor injuries and will reduce the number of severe injuries.
If we were more alert in examining the causes of the 'accidents' (incidents) we encounter daily and prepare counter-measures we would avoid in a great part the minor and major injuries that we see so often. This was true of the serious accidents that we recently experienced in Korea. Signs of imminent problems were ignored and only discovered after the accidents and loss of life.
This is readily seen in our daily lives when we make mistakes and don't bother with analyzing the reasons and repeatedly do the same thing with the same results. It's only when we repent seeing the damage done that change for the better results. When we put something on the stove and forget and find the whole meal destroyed, often repeated unless steps are taken to remove the causes.
These mistakes happen in our spiritual life for we do not take the necessary safety precautions. He mentions the example of one who goes to Sunday Mass but finds it boring and without meaning. This continues and he begins to miss a few times and then he finds it to his liking and forgets that he was given signs of this future drift away from the life he once considered important.
In the spiritual life when we don't experience God's love, find joy, have an aversion to prayer, the Sacraments and the community, they are warning signs that something is amiss and we need to be concerned. These may be considered some of the 300 incidents or rather minor problems that have no immediate serious results but also remind us that we need to do something to prevent serious results from happening.
Korea, according to a Catholic Peace Weekly columnist, is now at the height of conflict and struggle in progressive efforts for democracy more so than during the period of democratization in the 1980s.
Recently the attachment to politics and economics has been weakened and the human right's ship has been launched on the high seas. The 'Me Too Movement' has witnessed the testimony of victims who have been frustrated and hurt by the strong in society: power and money. What had to come has come. It was a public secret everybody knew.
We accepted so much in the culture, in the world of art and films which embraced a great deal of violence. We began to doubt the value of the celebration of the world of art and its sublimation for what we saw behind the scenes.
One of the famous actors in the recent exposure in the film industry has said we are all perpetrators, victims, and bystanders. This story does not only apply to the film industry. The essence of this struggle is not sexual confrontation. It is not just a matter of sexual violence but the resistance against this violence that our society knew and pretended not to know. When a person is being violated and we pretend not to know, is this not violence and a crime?
Respect for life requires that we prevent this kind of violence and work to bring healing. The price that Korea had to pay to live in freedom was steep. War brought great havoc, starvation, and cruelty and we overcame this to become a wealthy country. Love for material goods is not what is important but a country where our lives have worth and we are happy.
We need to teach and learn. Mathematics and English are important, but life skills are more urgent and important. How important is the teaching of life skills to our school children in Korea? It should be an independent subject and provide opportunities for the students to experience this type of living.
From a child to an adult, what are the desirable ways of expressing interpersonal relationships, how to communicate without hurting each other, how to avoid being a victim of violence, accept responsibility and act courageously? The ability to critically appraise the diverse media and content that is emerging each day must also be developed. We must teach how to protect ourselves. It's not dangerous to mistake an English word, but when we don't control our anger, fail to respect others, and accept the media unconditionally, the community we belong to is wounded, and we suffer. The violence present in society, will not be cured by exposure and punishment.
Let 's make a course called' Life Skills' and 'Life Study' for future generations living in Korea. Eliminating deep-rooted violence should begin with education in the respect for life.
