Pleasing Others Not Life's Goal

A Korean Religious who has a weekly column in the Catholic Times had an interesting reflection on feelings we can easily empathize with. His Community once a year has a day of sharing on what they have been involved with during the year. He spent a great deal of time and effort to prepare a report on what had been accomplished. On the day of sharing, he was not able to attend but did submit the paper and thought that it would be appreciated and his efforts applauded. .

That evening he met with some members of the community and gently asked about the response to the report. They said it was well received but one of the brothers thought it was strange... Even though only "one of the brothers" had a problem with his report, it was enough to carry an emotional sting, or to be more honest he was angry. One of the brothers who were present at the meeting had praised the report but this did nothing to remove the hurt. The lingering sound of the" one brother' was the only thing that remained with him.

He reflected on how many of us want to have what we do and say respected and applauded by those we are living with or have ties of friendship. It's normal to expect others to appreciate what we are doing, and when they don't most of us will be hurt and possibly angry.

In looking over our lives, we expect all to appreciate us, and what we do but little by little if approval goes from 90% to 70% to 50% and even when it goes to 10%, we should be able to take it in stride and not let it upset us. One should live in peace and without any ill feelings toward those who are not sending us their applause.

The fact is that we would like all to applaud but sometimes, as the Korean Religious pointed out, one person who does not feel inclined to do so is enough to bring frustration, disappointment and loss of peace, even anger. That is the lot of many of us. The writer has determined to change this in his life. It's good advice for all of us.