Uderstanding Those Who Have Left the Community

How does a church community work to bring back to the fold those who, for one reason or another, have left?  A diocesan priest, a pastor who works in a spiritual counseling center, considers the possibilities in an article in Bible & Life. He begins by telling us that the word we use to describe those who have left the church is not helpful and prejudices us from the start: the word 'tepid' means cold and indifferent.

 

No one is free from problems in living the spiritual life. All have the possibility of becoming tepid in their faith life. He wonders whether this may be a natural phase in life, like the teenage years: a period of contrariness. Keeping this possibility in mind, the priest would like us to be more sympathetic toward those who have left the Church.

One of the reasons for leaving, he believes, is that the life of prayer was not helpful in getting what was wanted. They were seeking their own will, and in these cases it is better to allow them on their own to come to a realization that life is not always about getting what you want, and to be content to remember them in our prayers.

Another reason for leaving would include those who had problems with priests, sisters, or members of the community. This group can be divided into two types: those who are very sensitive and, without any deliberate offense intended, were hurt--they are likely to return. The return of those who have been hurt deliberately, however, will be difficult.

A third reason would include those who have lost hope in having a relationship with God, or were doubtful of having a meaningful relationship, and gradually distanced themselves from the community. Some consider themselves atheists, have an animosity towards the sacraments, or criticize the Church as hypocritical.  Some of these expressed reasons, despite what may be said, are probably best understood as stemming from the burdens of working to support a family and thus losing contact with the Church. He feels that with some outreach by the community they have a chance of returning. Some would  be looking for a deeper spiritual life and often on their return will become zealous workers in God's vineyard.
 

For some, a period of rest in their spiritual life may be of help to growth, instead of living with a  lack of enthusiasm and a routine life of the spirit; this group would be looking for a deeper way of living Christianity. This, he says, should not be difficult for a priest to understand, coming from many years in the seminary, and even after. Priests, he reminds us, are also faced with doubts, and at times even consider leaving, but by working through the difficulty they may come to another level in their faith life. He concludes with the thought that confronting our doubts honestly and working through them may be the way many of us will grow in the life of faith.