Learning to Let Go

The Art of Aging, a book by Anselm Grün, is used by a columnist of the Peace Weekly to give us some helpful spiritual pointers for aging well. Learning to let go is the key. We are forced to let go of our infancy and years of youth, and old age is asking us to do the same, says Fr. Grün. With age this becomes more difficult, but he tells us the more earthly desires we get rid of the more spiritual fruit we will yield.

Those who have lived life sincerely and with intensity will find this possible, says Grün. The first part of life, infancy, youth and middle age, is naturally lived with intensity; the second part of life, old age, is time for letting go. Those who have not lived life sincerely and intensely will have nothing to let go, and will look back with regret.

In the last years of life, we have to give up our possessions, health, relationships, sex, power, and finally, our very self. At death all earthly possessions are given up, he reminds us. We give up all these things to prepare us to give up ourselves. The last challenge in life is to give ourselves up to receive God, the last spiritual challenge we will all face.

To grow old gracefully, as we confront the mystery of life and death, means to become calmer, more accepting of this mystery. Silence becomes more important to us, and peace comes forth. Loneliness is not a concern and one looks back with gratitude.

Our reminiscences of the past need not suggest that we are tied to the past, but merely a looking back on the way we have lived. There are those that go back in their lives and are bothered with guilt; they remember the hurts and the missed opportunities. These thoughts bring depression. There are also thoughts of hurts that were healed and these are profitable. This is not a return to the past that looks for the hurts, but a search for healing. 

We are all preparing for death: the completion of life. Only those who see themselves being born again in God will have peace and gratitude in facing old age; our older years will be lived with spirit. Facing death in this way is a blessing to others. To die well is not only for oneself but opening the way for others to die well. When we do not hesitate to go back to God, no matter at what stage in life we find ourselves, life becomes a gift to others.