Finding the Way Out of Darkness

In the recent  bulletin of the Seoul Diocese a mother recounts her ordeal in coming to an understanding of a trauma that took a serious toll on her life and family. She is a mother of  two children who became a Catholic at the persuasion of her mother-law. She was baptized with little knowledge of God and became his child. Her spiritual life obviously, she says, left a lot desired, she spent all her time raising her two children.

At the age of seven, her oldest son, because of the side effects of medicine, was mentally disabled. Her whole life was for her children and when this happened the shock and confusion that issued was too much for her to support. She tried everything to return the child to normality but all just got worst. She was faced with pain and disorder, and the child's mental capacity died. Her own life became one of living desperation. Life no longer had any meaning;  she was on the cross with Jesus. Gradually she began to realize that  by gazing on Jesus she was meeting Jesus.

This gazing on Jesus on the cross  opened her to a new dimension. In the  limits of the human, and through pain, she was able to go to the center of the meaning of life. She began to face the  reality of  pain and saw it all in a different light and to give thanks.

The scars that had been inflicted as a child led her to a feeling of gloom and depression which she began to work with in counseling sessions, and in the study of psychology. She began to receive healing, and to mature  and encounter God. In her darkest moments she was able to see God most clearly. To be born again she needed to die. This was the grace that was leading her to a new understanding. Her son was her teacher.

Her son remains mentally incapacitated, and requires great care but it no longer overcomes her. She has great trust  and love for God, and  the graces enables her to overcome her difficulties. Her son gave her strength for which she  thanked God. Everything is in the hands of  God;  she lives with happiness in her heart.

With and through her own trials she  wants to be of service to others who are going through similar difficulties in life. She prays for those who have lost their way in life,  and wants to help them with what she has found: to have the Lord grasp them by the hand and lead them on to a new life.