Thursday, September 27, 2018
Sometimes You Need Distance to See Clearly
Often we make judgments that after a period of time we realize were made too quickly. A religious sister explains to the readers of the Catholic Peace Weekly that there are times we have to step back to see clearly.
She was impressed by a sister from the same community hearing her soft voice, calm, kind and friendly appearance and thought it would be nice to live with her in a community. The day did come and she says it may have been because of the expectations but it was uncomfortable living together. When she felt the unkindness and had her faults pointed out with a soft voice and a smile the respect she once had disappeared. One needs to live with another to know them.
It's not easy to respect the persons you live with. People who have heard her lectures say: "She is respectful, passionate, speaks clearly" but that is not her ordinary attitude, she says. A nun who lived with her said to sister: "Sister, I know you're smart but isn't it shallow? She thought of herself as a precise and sharp person but this remark shows a person who makes mistakes and says what everybody knows.
Is there not a saying that it's difficult to live in a house with a saint? Of course, with a certain age difference, and different roles, a distance is maintained. However, when we eat, work and sleep under the same roof, the distance disappears. When distances are gone, it is hard to maintain 'respect' even though affection remains.
A son enters the military and is distant from his parents and then his letters are filled with respect for his parents. When her parents were alive she was not quick to show respect but after their death, she remembered all that they did and respect was deeply felt. Respect often comes with distance.
Nowadays digital information mixes private and public matters with no sense of distance. Famous entertainers and politicians we have never met are known to us from gossip. We speak to one another bringing up things we have seen on TV or the internet, talk about people we have never met and strangers become friends for a moment.
One person becomes a demon another an angel. At times it is chit chat and other times we slander others. Digital information draws strangers into our private space at times honorably and other times an object of our dislike.
Jesus was not respected in his hometown. Likewise, we live in a global village in which we can communicate quickly and easily. The hometowns of Europe, America and Korea are all the same. President Trump and Moon Jae-in, often appear as just another"him".
How about distancing yourself from the digital world? Trees and flowers need a proper distance to grow well. On highways, the distance between cars must be maintained for safe driving. In order to love and respect each other, distance is needed. Proper distance prepares one to have a proper respect for others.
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