Wearied With Blind Dating...

In the Catholic Digest, a pianist writes about the results of her blind dating and what she learned. She entered college with difficulty and through graduate school worked zealously on her studies but also played and lived her religious life.

With friends, she visited restaurants, enjoyed the chatter, and when she had the time traveled, like others when the time came she would marry. And all this time worrying about her academic degree and finding work.
 
Her major was piano. She was happy to be in a field of work she enjoyed and could earn a living. Doing her best would bring success and a job for life.
 
Going into her 30s her friends began to marry. Two of her best friends married and went to the States and she was left alone. She was preparing her students for college entrance and a musical performance. She was tired and leaving her study practice hall to eat, lost in thought, fell on the stairs and ended up with a cast. If she continued in this way she would have serious problems. She had to start being concerned about her future. And that meant marriage.
 
Will she be happier thinking about success in her work? Or would it be better to start looking for a mate with whom to spend the rest of her life? Would she be able to do both: look for success and find a mate?
 
She began to ask all her friends to introduce her to blind dates. In the beginning, she was very nervous but had great hopes. Gradually more than nervousness she was hoping it would not be a bad experience. One of her teaches in college introduced her to the marriage academy. Without any great hopes, she decided to go. She was surprised to see over 200 people there. The talks were not only about marriage but the concerns before marriage and other values in life.
 
She liked mostly the  talks that dealt with the qualities wanted in a husband. In the past that was never clearly an object of thought but rather what would her parents think about the choice. Although not expressed externally, she wanted a house in Seoul before getting married. Since she was a freelancer, in the process, she desired a kind and capable civil servant with educational credentials greater than her own and a fellow Catholic.
 
Meeting this kind of mate was difficult. Internally she kept that desire but tried to see everybody that she met, positively, as the right person. In order not to be scarred she hid her inner feelings and judged the occupation, age, appearance etc.  But what she heard at the academy was different she was not to be concerned with the thoughts of others or her parents but humbly to understand the other's inner life and to give attention to that.   

A house in Seoul as a condition, she may end up like a woman in her sixties, who is still not married. Is having a house that important? Material things are important but the other person's thoughts and temperament are more important. Her own mental health and disposition also have to be of concern.
 
She is praying for her future husband every day. In the future, more important than appearance, she will pay more attention to her mates thoughts, values, and interior life. She gives credit to the marriage academy for changing her thinking.