Where Does Something Begin To Go Wrong?

 
A spiritual psychologist gives the readers of the Catholic Weekly some thoughts on how to grow in wisdom.

Everyone faces some kind of serious difficulties in life. We wonder about the reason for the pain. "Why am I suffering like this?" "What did I do wrong?" We ask these questions, but rarely find a clear answer. This is because most of the pain in life is transmitted through a process that is difficult to pinpoint.
 

However, except for questions related to the conditions of life, such as the reason for being born, for being a man or woman, born of certain parents, the answers are mostly found. The fact is that my small decisions and choices have brought about the present results.

Callisto and Regina divorced after 38 years of marriage. After the marriage of her three children, Regina asked her husband for a divorce. Callisto couldn't understand what happened it was a bolt from the blue. Not only no reason to be divorced, according to the husband she continued to be a supporting wife all along.

In fact, it was during her first child's pregnancy that Regina was convinced she would not be able to live with her husband for the rest of her life. Early in pregnancy, Regina suffered from anemia with vomiting and dizziness. In addition, the smell of soup made her sick and wasn't able to eat properly. She was concerned for the child in the womb and malnutrition. Regina, who rarely called her husband while at work  had no choice but to call him that day. She  asked him to get some strawberries after leaving work because she  had not been able to eat properly for several days. Callisto answered yes, but he couldn't resist the temptation of his friend that night and stayed out drinking until late. He completely forgot his wife's request to buy strawberries and returned home empty-handed.

Regina recalled the memory of that day and said she felt that she had no choice but to break up with her husband. Her husband, had forgotten her request and returned home after drinking, he was actually more concerned about another person then the wife who was pregnant with his precious child. But Regina tried to understand her husband. However, the idea that she would never be able to trust and rely on this man for the rest of her life hardened into a strong  conviction. After raising all the children, Regina decided to divorce because of this very small and trivial life experience but for her was unforgettable.

 

In the Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu we have the following words: "The most difficult thing in the world begins with what is easy, and the biggest things in the world come from the most humble." Also, in another Chinese classic: "People don't trip over mountains: they trip over ant hills"  Everything we experience in life is the result of small choices and decisions. It's just that we don't know how the choice and decision led to the results. Whether it's good or bad, there's actually very little that hasn't come from oneself.  All things of merit and demerit have come from us. We just don't understand how and why.

As such, the trials and pains of life occur mostly from the  small choices and decisions we have made. Based often on selfishness and personal desires not love for others, even though small they can return to us pain and trials at some point. Remembering this simple fact will avoid a life of regret. As Benjamin Franklin said:  Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.