To Cry With Those Who Cry

The Catholic Times on the One Mind One Body Suicide Prevention Center joint project: 'We are all one'. The director brings to the attention of readers that what we hear about suicide is just the tip of the iceberg. Under the shame of statistics are even larger numbers.

 'The tip of the iceberg' means that the invisible part is much larger than the visible part. Korea has accepted suicide as a social problem since the last IMF and has worked hard to change the situation. However, even after great effort, the suicide rate has increased year by year, and recently, more than 13,000 people have committed suicide every year. The number of people who fill the indoor gymnasium of Jamsil Sports Complex disappears every year. 

However, those who disappeared without notice and those who were killed accidentally and died without a will were excluded from the statistics. In addition, those who tried and failed were not considered.

Therefore, it is estimated that the actual number of suicides is about 2 to 3 times the statistics. Additionally, there are 'survivors of suicide'— the families of those who have died.

The suicide victim died alone in isolation, but numerous relationships were connected to the death of one person. The bereaved family refers to all those who have been close to each other even if they are not related by blood. An average of 10 bereaved family members are connected to each person who has died by suicide.  

Bereaved families do not show it on the outside, but inside they have an unresolved pain for the departed.

Questions that can never be answered, regret and self-reproach for not being able to figure it out, trauma that was directly or indirectly witnessed, resentment towards the deceased, the reality of not being able to accept death, a life where I feel guilty whether I laugh or cry, etc. Things repeat over and over again without blurring, continuing the pain that seems to never end.

On the other hand, the risk of suicide among bereaved families is 7 to 8 times higher than that of the general public. The reason is that the choice of those who left the painful reality first seems to be an attractive solution. Therefore, sincere care for the bereaved family is a large part of suicide prevention activities.

Humans cry and suffer when they are in pain. And the director feels relieved just by revealing it. Even if the problem isn't resolved. Survivors of suicide are hidden and unrevealed. It is because they try to hide it within the community and even within their own families. They do not want to reveal the sadness and tears that usually come unexpectedly, and their joy is suppressed by guilt, so their place among people decreases. Thus, they become isolated and find it very difficult to be consoled.

Jesus "did not come to judge the world, but to save the world" (John 12:47). Jesus himself came to be with those who are suffering. People who are really struggling are hidden, and what is needed for those who died in pain and their families is not stigma, but to cry with them.