Life Can Be Beautiful!

In his weekly column, From the Philosophical Armchair, the professor in the Catholic Weekly shows us how to prevent our emotions from hurting us.

Humans are beings that are easily hurt. This is because the human soul is fragile. Emotional wounds always leave traces on the soul, so it is necessary to cultivate the strength of the soul through philosophical training in daily life to avoid getting hurt as much as possible. The primary goal of philosophical counseling is to solve personal problems, but it is also to prevent being easily wounded by strengthening the soul in daily life.

So where do wounds come from? The ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus (55–135) said, "No one can hurt you except yourself." John Chrysostom, the Archbishop of Constantinople (349–407), also said, "No one is harmed except when they hurt themselves." In fact, the one who truly wounds us is not another, but ourselves.

Humans are influenced externally on a mental level. Human perception, which begins with sensation and perception, is a kind of influence and infection. Harmful and painful experiences can harm us. However, not all of this necessarily needs to be a wound. Even if the injury we receive is inflicted from the outside, whether it becomes a wound depends on how we interpret it. In other words, how we deal with pain coming from outside depends entirely on our attitude. For this reason, Stoic philosophers practiced philosophy in daily life to attain 'peace of mind' (apatheia).

Wounds have neither a corresponding external object nor an absolute standard of depth. Wounds depend on the mind of the one being hurt. However, to reach this understanding, one must view one’s life, suffering, and personal wounds in a creative and mature way. Father Anselm Grün (1945–) advises, "Do not hurt yourself." The seeds of pain and wounds depend on external factors, leading to the loss of "inner freedom".

Wounds have neither an external object that corresponds to them nor an absolute standard of depth. Wounds depend on the heart of the one who receives them. However, to reach that understanding, it is necessary to view one’s life, suffering, and personal wounds in a creative and mature way. Father Anselm Grün advises: "Do not hurt yourself." This is because the seeds of pain and wounds stem from losing 'inner freedom' by relying on or being shaken by external factors, ultimately leading to acts of self-harm. What truly confuses us is not the external events themselves but the 'representations' we create and perceive about them. In reality, death is painful not because of the actual experience of death, which we can never truly encounter, but because of our negative representations.

In other words, it is our mistaken representations of suffering that torment and wound us. Therefore, having the correct representations is the path to inner freedom. Of course, this is impossible without philosophical training. Without philosophical reflection on reality and the real, we can never surpass limitations and move toward a world of 'greater reality.'

Developing the correct representations for healing wounds begins with genuine deliberation in everything. Through sound common sense, an unbiased sense of discomfort, and letting go of disorderly attachments to things, one can free oneself from external control and domination and move toward correct representations. We also need reverence that allows us to look at the world in awe before the mystery of existence. Without reverence, we can never gain the insight to intuit the full meaning of life.